Be Together
by Soadarlin
Summary: Tragedy has Alexis "Lexie" Teller-Grant flying cross country to be with her family. Will coming home be the answer she was looking for or will it only cause more questions? :::: All original pairings, no Tara bashing. Rating may change. Your support will decide how long this story will be. Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any Sons of Anarchy characters, events or any other material. O/C Alexis is my intellectual property. The lyrics preceding the story are from the song "Be Together" by Major Lazer feat Wild Belle. Please enjoy and review. Without further ado::::::

 **Maybe if the stars align, maybe if our worlds collide  
Maybe on the dark side we could be together, be together  
Maybe in a million miles, on a highway through the stars  
Someday soon we'll be together **

Which is worse, I wondered. Physical or emotional pain? Growing up with two older brothers, I'd had my share of physical pain. I'd had broken bones, my head split open a few times, even a knife through my hand. I ran my right thumb over the scar on my left palm as I sat in the back of the church. There was a sea of men, women and children alike, all dressed in black with their heads bowed. An occasional sniffle was the only thing heard aside from the priest's readings about eternal life. I took a deep breath, feeling as if it was audible to everyone. No one turned around or seemed to notice, so I let it out slowly. I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there for another minute. The church pew creaked as I stood up. Everyone heard that. Several of the mourners turned in search of the source of the noise. I avoided making eye contact with any of them and quietly slipped outside.

"What now?" I didn't have to turn around to recognize the voice that had voiced my internal debate. It was the same voice that had criticized almost every aspect of my life for the last four years. From the way I cooked to the way I dressed. There was always something negative to say. It got to a point that I stopped expecting it to ever change, more specifically, I stopped trying to appease her. I pushed the smoke out of my lungs in a thin stream of smoke before turning around. She was dressed in black, like everyone else. It was strange to see her like that. Normally, her outfits made me consider wearing sunglasses inside. I wondered what she was to me now. For the past four years, she'd been my mother-in-law. I wasn't exactly sure what Hank's death meant when it came to Martha and I.

"I don't know." There was no elaborate plan. I had no contingency plan for Hank's death. I guess I should have. Even our vows mentioned death doing us part. I brought my cigarette up to my lips and saw the disapproval in Martha's eyes. It was a look I was all to familiar with. Hank never liked it when I smoked either. When we had parties or dinners at our house, I would sneak off to the upstairs bathroom and smoke in the shower, blowing everything out through the small, porthole like window. It was the only way I could cope with our friends and his family. I loved Hank but there came a point that I couldn't keep pretending to have anything in common with the people we surrounded ourselves with. I tried to keep up appearances though. It wasn't so much them as it was me. I was out of my element. I wasn't even on my coast.

"Hailey gave a beautiful eulogy." I could read between the lines. She was upset that I had not only refused to give a eulogy but I had also left before his younger sister delivered one instead. I nodded. Hank deserved a nice eulogy. "Are you coming to the cemetery?"

"We already said our farewells, Martha." That was all the last two days with him had been, farewells. He would come in and out of consciousness. Sometimes we would cry. Sometimes we would laugh. We always said goodbye though. It was unbearable, hearing him fight to talk when he could barely breath from the scarring on his lungs. He wanted me to know he didn't regret it though. He didn't regret doing his job and saving that family from the fire. I caught a glimpse of his Chief walking out of the church and gave him a small smile, thanking him for coming to the service that I couldn't sit through myself. "I need some time to myself."

"That's just selfish." Martha spat, her pitch peaking at the end. I swallowed down my rebuttal and turned my back on her. I heard her heels clicking in the opposite direction of my own. She was headed to the limousine that would escort the family to the cemetery while I was headed to my car that would take me anywhere but there. I started the engine and let my hands rest on the top of the steering wheel for a minute while I gathered my thoughts. I backed out of the parking spot and just started driving.

"Mom." I cried, my chest heaving as I pressed my back into my seat. I couldn't see through the mascara burning my eyes. As soon as I pulled over onto the side of the road, I knew what I needed. I needed the same thing every girl needed when she was hurting or ill. I needed my mother.

"Alexis? What's wrong, sweetheart?" I blubbered on about everything that had happened over the past week. From the fire to the hospital to picking out caskets, everything that I'd been holding in. I heard her gasp and couldn't help but cry harder. "Where are you, baby?"

"The side of the interstate. My mascara got in my eyes and I couldn't see." I sobbed, pulling my hand away to see a large black streak where I'd been rubbing it over my eyes.

"Come home, baby. It doesn't have to be forever. You need family." No matter my emotional state, I never would have believed that she didn't have ulterior motives. Still, she was right. I needed family. I needed my family. I took a deep breath. It was shaky but I wasn't sobbing anymore.

"Okay. I'll fly out tonight." I had already been given approval for another week off. Before leaving the church, I'd planned on going back on Monday.

"I'll see you at the airport, baby. Just let me know what time and I'll be there." Mom said. I was under no false impression that she would be alone. I ended the call and tucked my phone back in my bag before pulling back into the roadway. It wasn't until I exited to turn back East that I realized I was only a few exits away from the airport. I got back on the interstate and headed home to pack a bag and find a flight.

Within three hours, I was taking a seat on a plane. There was only one non-stop flight to San Francisco and it wasn't cheap but I didn't care. It was the closest I was going to get to Charming from Atlanta. I let Mom know I would be landing in San Francisco around 10pm, her time, and settled in for a long flight. I fell asleep for the first time in two days and probably could have slept for the next twelve hours had the landing not jolted me awake. I looked out of the small window as we taxied into the same airport I'd flown out of eight years ago. I never would have thought that going to school at Duke would lead to me Hank and then the life we eventually shared in Georgia.

"Lexie!" I turned away from the luggage carousel and rushed over to my Mom, hugging her tightly. She smelled like smoke and flowers, just like she did in my earliest memories of her. I'd gotten my dark hair from her, my blue eyes from my father and a mix of both their personalities. I stepped back after a minute or two and saw my big brother. I felt my bottom lip starting to quiver as he wrapped his arms around me. The sound of his leather kutte reminded me of our dad. Jax, Mom, and I were all that was left of our family. Our little brother Thomas had died just after I turned nine and three years later, Dad died. I never got along with Clay Morrow so even after he and Mom got married, I still relied on Jax for most things a little girl would need a father for.

"Hey, baby girl." Jax said, holding me tight and kissing the top of my head. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go back to Georgia or not. Just hugging them made me feel alive again. For the first time since the fire, I knew I was going to make it.

"Hey." I said, squeezing him a little more before stepping back. Mom was standing there watching us with a smile and a hint of a tear in her eyes. She held my suitcase out towards me. When I took it, she wrapped the arm that had been holding it around my shoulders and guided me out of the airport behind Jax. I inhaled deeply, taking in the warm sun and California air.

"Let's get you home, sweetheart." Gemma said, opening the back door of a black SUV for me. I let Jax take my suitcase to load into the back and climbed into the seat. I was surprised to see Mom get in the passenger seat. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Jax drive anything besides his Harley or the tow truck.

"Thank you for coming to pick me up." I said, leaning my head against the window. I saw Jax looking at me through the rearview mirror and dropped my gaze quickly. I knew if I looked into his eyes too long, he'd know everything I was feeling and thinking. Mom reached around and patted my knee. "I'm going to close my eyes for a few minutes."

I woke up when Jax parked the SUV in front of Teller-Morrow Automotive. It hadn't changed at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews and follows! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Two

"Do you want to come in and have a beer?" Jax asked, turning around and looking at me. I swallowed and shook my head slowly. I wasn't ready to see everyone yet. Not only was I exhausted on top of my jet lag, I also didn't want to talk to everyone about Hank. Not yet. He nodded with a small smile and got out of the driver's seat. Mom got out and took his spot while I took hers. She pulled away from the garage as Jax went inside the clubhouse. I looked down at my hands, twisting my wedding set around my finger like I had done so many times in the past week.

"You look good, baby. A little skinny but good." Mom said, pulling my head out of my thoughts. I glanced over at her and nodded with a light laugh. She had told me I was a little skinny last year when Hank and I visited for Christmas to. It was the first time he had come to California and first time he'd seen my family since the wedding. Surprisingly enough, he wasn't uneasy around them. He held his own and even got Jax's approval, after we'd already been married over three years.

"Thanks, Mom." I said softly. I unbuckled my seatbelt as she parked in the driveway of the house we had moved into a few years after Dad died. I was relieved to see that Clay's motorcycle wasn't in the driveway. We could be civil most of the time but I wasn't ready to deal with him just yet. I needed at least eight more hours of sleep and a few cups of coffee. Mom beat me to my suitcase and carried it inside for me despite my objections. She walked down the hall to the left and into my old bedroom. They had changed it into a guest room after I had gotten married. Really, it wasn't much different besides the absence of all my N'sync posters and collages of pictures. The pictures were saved in storage but I'd reluctantly agreed to let the posters go.

"Get some sleep, sweetheart. I'll have waffles for you when you wake up." Mom said, pulling me into her arms. I clinched my teeth together to keep from crying. Mom could see it in my eyes though, she'd always been able to read me pretty well. "You're allowed to cry, baby. You just can't stop living."

"Thank you, Mom." I squeezed her hand before she left the room and closed the door behind her. I sat down on the end of my old bed and stared down at my rings again. I wasn't sure why I was still wearing them but I couldn't bring myself to take them off. Not yet. Maybe never. I took a quick shower to get the plane air and germs off and then hit the bed. Maybe it was because I'd always slept in the bed alone so I wasn't reaching for Hank or because my body had finally reached the point of exhaustion, but I fell straight to sleep.

"Did you sleep okay?" Mom asked as I staggered into the dining room. I felt like a train had run over me, backed up and then did it again. Every muscle in my body was sore and my legs felt like lead.

"While I was sleeping. I feel like hell now." I muttered, sitting down in a chair across from her and putting my head into my hands. She chuckled and I peeked at her through my fingers. "It isn't funny."

"Let me get that waffle for you. There's fresh coffee if you want some." It was as if she'd asked a junkie if they wanted a hit. I practically fell out of my chair in order to get to the dark elixir of life. Mom chuckled again as I poured sugar into the cup while hunting a spoon. She opened a drawer and handed me one with a shake of her head. "Between you and Jax, I'm going to need to start buying sugar in bulk."

"Hank always made sure we had two bags in reserve. He drinks his coffee black. Drank." I said, dropping my eyes and feeling the smile slide away. It was hard, referring to him in the past. Mom didn't say anything until there was a fresh Belgian waffle with fruit in front of me. It was what she would always make me if I had a bad day or wasn't feeling good.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as I poured some syrup in select squares of the waffle. I shrugged and set the syrup down, picking up my knife and fork.

"I told you what happened." I said, my voice lower than I was accustomed to hearing. She let me eat a few bites before leaning back in her chair with a sigh. I looked up at her and frowned. "He was supposed to be coming home that night. They work 24 hours on and then 48 hours off. I was at the grocery store picking up some things for dinner when he called and said they had a fire and that he might be late. I was annoyed. I know he could hear it on the phone."

I told her about how I'd gone home and started on dinner anyway. There were a lot of fires that ended up being barns or garages that didn't keep them out as long. I knew the area he worked was pretty rural, so I thought there was a chance he would be home before the food got cold. I was pulling the lasagna out of the oven when my phone rang. I'd already burned my finger on the pan, so I answered it without noticing who it was, all while cussing and hissing. It wasn't Hank telling me he was headed home. It was his Fire Chief telling me that there had been an accident. I dropped the pan on the floor and felt like I was going to pass out. It was a call I never expected to get. Hank was good at his job. His father had been a firefighter. He'd grown up around it. He knew how to be safe.

"I saw the family he saved at the hospital the day he died. They brought a gift basket and flowers to say thank you. Flowers and a gift basket in exchange for his fucking life." I said, shoving my food away. Mom caught my hand and covered it with her own. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my free hand and shook my head. "He didn't deserve to die."

"No, baby, of course he didn't. Of course he didn't." Mom said soothingly. I felt so many emotions swirling around inside of me. From anger to sadness to relief to guilt, they were all fighting for my attention, fighting to beat the other emotions out. It ended up making me feel sick. I closed my eyes and dropped my head.

"I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel." I said quietly. Ever since the call from Hank's Chief, I'd had to be strong for everyone. I had to be strong for Hank, for his sister Hailey, his mother, our friends, the doctors, the funeral director. I had to hold it together and get things done. I had to hold it together and tell Hank I didn't blame him and that I was proud of him. Maybe I was but I still wasn't able to feel it. Not yet. I was mad at him for choosing the lives of strangers over me, over us. I wasn't ready for him to leave. We had plans. Without him, I just had a mortgage I couldn't afford and a refrigerator full of casseroles that I would never eat.

"I understand, sweetheart. When your father died, I had to be strong. I had you and Jax to take care of." She said, pulling her hand back and picking up the plate I had pushed away. I took a deep, shaking breath. She was right. I couldn't even remember her crying much after Dad died. A few times here and there but that was it. I lit a cigarette and stared at my rings again. "No one expects you to take them off, sweetheart."

"I need to call and let the hospital know I'm out here. I have a few patients I need to talk to Dr. Thompson about." I grabbed my coffee and phone before walking out to the back deck. I set the mug on the second step and dialed into work as I sat down. "I need to speak to Dr. Thompson. This is Dr. Grant."

I waited for her to answer her page and thought about my first day at the hospital. It was terrifying. I was a brand new surgical resident, fresh out of medical school and working at one of the leading hospitals in Georgia. I hadn't even been there a year when Hank died. He had been my biggest supporter though. He never once complained about my hours or my grumpiness when I was sleep deprived. He brought me dinner on more than one occasion. That first day, I'd come home after a twenty-hour shift to a warm bath drawn for me and a cupcake on my nightstand.

"Dr. Grant, how are you?" I considered lying and saying that I was fine or something along those lines.

"I actually flew home last night. I needed to come see my family. I was calling to let you know that I'm going to take that week. I was also wondering how Ms. Redding was." I said, hoping the woman was doing better. She'd come into the emergency room after a motorcycle accident. Her husband hadn't made it. It was the first patient that really got to me.

"She's healing well physically. We're getting a psych consult to see if we can't get her to start coping." Dr. Thompson said, sounding rushed. I rolled my lips in and nodded silently. "I'll make sure Brenda emails you the paper for your bereavement time."

I put the phone down after she ended the call, immediately lighting up another cigarette. There was a slim chance that she even realized what she'd said. Ms. Redding didn't need medication to help her cope. She needed family. She needed someone not to tell her that everything was okay but to understand and agree that what happened sucked.

"I'm heading over to check on Wendy. Do you want to come?" Mom asked, interrupting my thoughts. I flicked the cigarette butt into the yard and stood up. "Alexis Grace, I know you did not just flip that into my yard. You better pick that up."

"Sorry." I muttered, hurrying to get it out of the yard before she started yelling my full name again. I held it up to her as I walked inside and put it in the ashtray. She nodded and closed the sliding glass door. "Give me a few minutes to change."

"Hurry your skinny ass up." She said, lighting a cigarette of her own. I pulled on a pair of dark jeans and a loose, white tank and a thin, plaid shirt that I left open. I was still rolling my sleeves up when we walked out to the car. I noticed Mom looking at my combat-style boots and shrugged. "Some things never change, huh?"

"Mom, I'm five-nine. I don't like wearing heels when I don't have to." I explained. Hank had been about five inches taller than me, so it wasn't so much of an issue with him, but I still didn't like being so tall in heels. "So, are Jax and Wendy officially divorced or is it a work in progress?"

"No, it's official, finally. She hasn't really taken it well." Mom said, turning onto the street our old house and now Jax's house was on. I frowned when we pulled up. It was the same house but the grass was higher than it should have been and it just looked neglected. Mom nodded her head, reading exactly what I was thinking. Things only got worse when we got inside. There was junk everywhere. Clothes thrown here and there, garbage overflowing in the kitchen and the smell was almost sickening.

"Gemma. You can't just walk in here." Wendy's voice came from the front door. Her speech was slow and tired sounding. I walked back into the living room and narrowed my eyes at her. "Lexie?"

"Wow, I'm surprised you haven't fried to many brain cells to recognize me. Long-term memory is one of the first things to go." I said. I walked over and grabbed her right arm, turning it over.

"Stop, I'm clean." Wendy said, yanking her arm away from me. I didn't believe her for a minute. She scoffed and stuck out both arms. I pursed my lips and shook my head.

"There's plenty of other places your tracks can be. I promise you, if you end up jeopardizing my nephew's life because you're too pathetic to stay clean or ask for help, I'll kill you myself." I hissed, pushing her arm out of my way. She scoffed but I didn't hear her following me out of the house. I waited outside while Mom stayed inside a little while longer, no doubt having her own words with Wendy. I quickly sent the text I'd been typing out and put my phone away when Mom stormed outside. The last thing I needed was her asking who I was texting.


	3. Chapter 3

Quick Note: I have been updating pretty quickly but please know that this will not be the norm. I will attempt to update at least once per week, anything after that is just icing on the cake ;). And now: Chapter Three

"Can I borrow a car? I wanted to go see a friend." I asked, hoping Mom would question it too much. She seemed too preoccupied with Wendy to really pay attention to what I was asking. She nodded and handed me the keys to her car.

"I find a scratch on it and I'll kick your ass." She threatened, parking the SUV beside her car in the driveway. Clay's bike was parked out on the street so I decided to leave before even going inside. I thanked her for letting me borrow the car and we parted ways. I took a deep breath and lowered myself into her car. It was all her, jet black, flashy and fast. I started it up and buckled up before carefully backing out of the driveway. Before I ever had my license, Jax had called and asked me to come pick he and Opie up because they'd gotten too drunk to drive home. I found them hiding in the bushes on the side of the road about half-way between the Knowles' house and ours. We may have gotten away with their underage drinking and my unlicensed driving if I hadn't ran over a mailbox right in front of Unser. Jax still brings it up sometimes.

I pulled into the familiar driveway and got out of the car quickly. The front door opened and I felt myself smile brightly.

"Tara!" I said, rushing to hug her. It had been three years since I saw her at a conference in Chicago. She was close to graduating medical school and I was just finishing my first year. We bumped heads a little bit over how she'd left Jax but eventually we moved past it and I understood that had I been involved with someone before I left, I'd probably be in her same shoes. After the conference, we stayed in touch through texts, emails and phone calls several times a week. She was my outlet for the drama with Hank's family and all of the other firemen's wives that drove me crazy. Knowing that she had just moved back to Charming less than a month before was a silver lining when I decided to come visit for a little while.

"Lexie, I'm so sorry." Tara said, squeezing me tightly. I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay and nodded my head slightly. When he passed, she was the first person I called. It was something I would never tell my mother. "When you pulled up in that car I was sure Gemma found out I was back."

"You know Charming, Tara. She'll know soon enough." I said, following her inside. My eyes widened as I looked around at all of the boxes and clutter. "Apparently you've been keeping yourself busy. No wonder she hasn't seen you yet. I don't know if she could see you if she was standing at the front door."

"Yeah, I know. Dad's hoarding got even worse when I left, I guess. I spent almost a week throwing away newspapers from five years ago. Don't even get me started on all the empty liquor bottles." Tara said with a groan. I remembered how much her dad used to drink and it only got worse after Tara left. The garage must have towed the Cutlass from the Hairy Dog at least ten times in the two years between Tara and I leaving. He was lucking that the bartender had a soft spot for him or he could have ended up wrecked in a ditch more than once. It eventually caught up to him when he died from Cirrhosis.

"If you take away about half the boxes, add dirty dishes and let it fester for a few weeks then it may look and smell like Wendy's place. That bitch is going to end up killing my nephew." I said, my hand curling into a fist. Tara shook her head and offered me a beer. I took it with a small smile and we walked out onto the back deck. It wasn't nearly as large as Mom's but there was a huge back yard that you didn't see much in Charming.

"Hopefully not. He's a Teller. As long as he doesn't have the family flaw then I'm sure he can get through anything else." I knew that by anything else she meant being born with an addiction to crank. He would have to go through detox and it was hard on babies in perfect health. If he had the cardiac problems my mother and Thomas had then his chances of survival would be slim to none.

"Seriously. If anything happens to him, I might snap. I already lost Hank. I don't think I could lose anyone else without going on some killing spree." I said, shaking my head and finishing my beer. Tara nodded silently. "So, change of subject. How's being back in Charming?"

"You mean being back in the place where I swore to never come back to? Surreal? Saint Thomas is great but it isn't exactly Chicago General. It is nice to not be looking over my shoulder all the time though." She was referring to her crazy ex-boyfriend and ATF agent Josh Kohn. She would always get off the phone quickly when he got home and never like to talk about him much. I knew something was off about their relationship. Then, she told me about having an abortion and Josh finding out. Had it not been for her begging me not to, I would have gotten in touch with the closest charter and had him 'taken care of'. I doubted that he couldn't find her in Charming but at least she would be safer here. He didn't have the connections in Charming like he did in Chicago.

"Yeah, I'm actually enjoying the break from Georgia. I feel like I can just be here, you know? I don't have to be a widow. I can just be." I felt selfish as soon as the words left my mouth. It didn't matter where I was, I was still a widow. I still lost my husband. I felt my bottom lip start to quiver.

"Do you want another beer?" Tara asked, motioning towards the kitchen. I shook my head and stood up, brushing off the back of my jeans. "You know you don't have to feel guilty for wanting to be happy, right?"

"It's barely been a week." I scoffed, upset with myself for running away from my problems. Tara handed me another beer with a smile.

"Lexie, there's no timeframe you're supposed to work off of. I didn't know Hank but I know that if he was anything like you told me, he would want you to be happy. Besides, I wouldn't exactly call you happy. I would just say you're coping." Tara said, leaning back against the counter. I took a sip of the fresh beer and pushed away the negative thoughts swarming in my head. "Can I ask a really insensitive question that I've been wondering about since you said you were coming to visit?"

"No, I haven't seen or talked to him." I answered before she could ask. I didn't mind, it was bound to come up eventually. Tara was the only person outside of the two of us that ever knew anything happened. She nodded and let my answer hang in the air for a minute. "I should probably get back before Gemma starts missing her car. I'm not leaving until next Sunday so we should have dinner or something."

"Sounds good, Lexie. Oh and I checked on those records. I can't find where she's seen a doctor in over two months." Tara said, walking out to the driveway with me. I closed my eyes and tried to keep calm. I'd asked her to check on Wendy's medical records and it was exactly what I was afraid of. I knew she could get in a lot of trouble for telling me that and I had to make sure and be careful about how I used it. I gave her a hug and got back into Mom's car. I wasn't even out of the driveway before my phone started ringing. It was Jax.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked putting the call on speaker and backing out of the driveway. I was hyper-focused on not hitting anything. I wasn't a bad driver but Mom had me paranoid.

"Where are you?" I twisted my mouth and wondered if he knew Tara was back. I wasn't going to get in the middle of it, so I just told him I was headed back to Mom's. "I'm going to pick you up and you're coming to the party tonight. You deserve to have some fun, Lexie."

"Jax, a club party? Really?" I said, pursing my lips and wondering if it was really such a bad idea. I missed the guys and maybe if I showed back up at a party, I wouldn't be given the third degree about my return. "Fine."

"I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I'm headed that way." Jax ended the call as I turned onto Mom's street. I looked down at what I was wearing and shrugged. It wasn't exactly club party clothes but it was good enough. My wardrobe was pretty slim on leather after living in Georgia for so long. Jax pulled up just after I told Mom where I was going. I felt like a teenager all over again. I just didn't want her to worry. I climbed on behind Jax and pulled my hair back, securing it with a hair tie before putting on his helmet that he offered up to me. I felt nervous and excited to be going back to the clubhouse after so long. When I brought Hank home for Christmas, I'd avoided taking him to the clubhouse. It wouldn't have gone well; best case scenario he would have been hazed and I didn't want to consider the worst case at the time. "Having flashbacks yet?"

"Ask me after a few beers." I said with a laugh. I put his helmet on the seat and undid my hair, shaking it out. Jax put his arm around my shoulders and led me towards the doors. He opened the door for me and I felt like I was stepping back into time. I recognized almost everyone wearing a kutte and even a couple of the women; a few I had gone to school with and a few had been hanging around the club for a long time. Several heads turned towards me as I walked in with Jax. Those that didn't recognize me probably thought I was some girl he'd picked up for the night.

"Lexie Teller!" Bobby boomed, rushing over to me and scooping me up into a big, bear hug. I laughed and hugged him tightly. He taught me how to bake so well that I actually baked Hank and I's wedding cake. I blinked a couple times, forcing the memory of the our cake tasting, baking the cake and the wedding away. "I haven't seen your skinny butt in years."

"I know, I'm sorry." I said, my cheeks blushing. He waved it away and called for a beer for the two of us. I gave the young woman a smile, despite her dark glare. "So, this place looks the exact same."

"You know us old men, we're not big on change. How's Georgia? Your old man with you?" Bobby asked with a chuckle. I paused and realized that they didn't know. I had asked Gemma and Jax not to say anything but I honestly didn't think they would listen to me, especially Mom. I downed my beer in one drink and took a deep breath. "What'd he do? I'll kill him."

"A fire already beat you to it." He looked mortified. I shook my head, "Don't. You didn't know, Bobby. I should have let Jax or Mom say something about it."

"I'm sorry, baby girl. How long has it been?" He asked as I grabbed another beer from Jax as he walked up, no doubt noticing me becoming upset.

"About a week." I said with a nod. Bobby frowned and pulled me into a hug. I refused to think about it. I had come to the party to have a good time. I felt like I deserved a couple hours of fun before getting back to 'coping'.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so, so much for your support on this Fiction. I'm having a great time writing it but a lot of things are still up in the air, especially who if anyone Lexie will end up with. That being said, she does have some history with someone. I just haven't decided if that's going to be her future as well or if it will go a different route. In any case, there will be some resolution to the past between them and we will just have to see where that goes. Enough rambling, and onto::::

Chapter 4

"Missing the old times now?" Jax asked as I stumbled away from the pool table after wiping the floor with Tig and Bobby. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, refusing to admit just how much I'd missed it. It wasn't just the booze and the party, there were parties everywhere. No, what I'd missed was my family, both blood and chosen. I'd missed knowing that Tig was going to say something inappropriate at any given time. I'd missed Bobby's booming laugh and the way his cheeks would blush like a little boy. I missed belonging without having to try.

"Can I ask you something?" I made my way around the bar as Jax nodded. I grabbed two glasses and poured a couple fingers of whiskey in each. "Do you know?"

"Know what, Lexie?" Jax seemed like he'd rather not answer the question, which told me he also knew what the question was. I slid one of the glasses over to him and climbed onto a stool. "Yeah, I know she's back. I saw her in the driveway one day when I was riding over to Bobby's."

"I guess that was awkward." I said, raising my brow as I took a drink. He laughed and shook his head. "Jax, you know she's back in town and you haven't spoken to her?"

"How do you know she's back, Lexie?" He turned the questioning back on me. I twisted my mouth and ran my thumb around the rim of the glass.

"We ran into each other at a work thing in Chicago. A, uhm, well a couple years ago. I've kind of been keeping in touch with her since then. Sorry." I felt like I'd betrayed him, the only brother I had left. He laughed and took my drink, finishing it off himself.

"You're drunk, Lexie. I don't care that you've been talking to Tara. She was your friend." He said with a sincere smile. I felt relieved and twisted my seat around to the left and right.

"I'm not drunk, Jackson Nathaniel Teller. The room is just a little blurry." I said with a sly smile. He laughed and grabbed the back of my seat, stopping my twisting abruptly.

"There's no way you're riding on my bike this drunk." He said, shaking his head. I stuck my bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout.

"Jax, come on. I don't want to stay here." I whined, squishing his face with my hands. He jerked my arms down and gave me as hard of a glare as he could muster before he started laughing. I sighed dramatically. "FINE!"

"Do you need me to tuck you in?" He asked sarcastically. I shot him a bird and muttered under my breath as I planted my boots on the floor carefully. "At least who isn't here?"

"What? Oh. Clay. He's home with Mom so I don't have to deal with him trying to parent me or some shit." I said, coming up with a lie quickly. I didn't even realize what I'd said before he questioned me. Jax didn't seem to suspect anything, thanks to my already rocky relationship with Clay, so he walked me to the small apartment-like dorm that he'd always stayed in before I left. Judging by all the stuff in the room, he was staying there again after leaving Wendy to. I turned back and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I've missed you."

"Love you too, little sister. Get some sleep. I'll let Mom know you're staying here." He said, pulling the door to as he walked back out towards the party that was starting to fade away. I ran my hand through my hair with a big yawn, aware of just how tired I really was now that I was away from the party. I climbed into the bed, wrapping my arms around one pillow and resting my head on the other. I laid there in the bed, looking around at all of the club memorabilia and listening to the unmistakable sound of someone hooking up down the hallway. I sighed and rolled over onto my back and stared at the American flag hanging above the bed. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the vision of Hank's casket. It had been covered in a pristine American flag. I knew it would have been given to me if I went to the burial; his mother probably received it in my absence. I bit my lip as tears escaped through my tightly closed eyes.

After a few hours of restless sleep, I gave up and fixed myself some coffee before heading up to the roof. The sun was just rising and the sky was a beautiful swirl of navy, purple, pink and orange. I felt a smile creep over my lips as I tried to remember the last time I'd actually watched a California sunrise. I'd seen plenty of sunsets but I was usually sound asleep at daybreak when I was growing up. It was more likely that I would have seen a sunrise while sneaking back into the house than after waking up early.

I took a deep breath and held it in for a moment, enjoying the silence around me. It would be another couple hours before the garage opened for business and probably another hour or two after that before the clubhouse started stirring. The garage was almost always staffed by prospects and non-members on Saturdays due to the hangovers and late starts that Friday night parties almost guaranteed. I finally let out my breath as my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I considered ignoring the call.

"Good morning, Martha." I said, setting my coffee down beside me. I heard what sounded like a single motorcycle in the distance.

"Morning? Come open the door, Alexis. Haven't you heard me knocking?" She sounded agitated and I could hear lawnmowers whirling in the background. Our neighbors always mowed on Saturday mornings, weather permitting.

"I'm not there. I came home for a little while." I regretted saying home no sooner than the word left my lips. It wasn't that I didn't consider Georgia home but that was before losing Hank. Hank was what made Georgia my home.

"Home? You are in California? Alexis, there are cousins and grandparents here. You just left? What am I supposed to tell them?" I turned my face up towards the sky and gathered my thoughts. I wanted to tell her what I really thought, that I didn't give a damn what she told them. I wanted to tell her that I was hurting to. I wanted to tell her that I left because I couldn't bear to be around anyone that reminded me of Hank or our life together. Instead, I dropped my head and bit my tongue.

"You can tell them I appreciate their support but I need to be alone. You can tell them whatever you need to, Martha. You're more than welcome to go inside if you need anything. I need to go." I knew she had a key and was probably already standing in our living room after hearing I wasn't there. The lawnmowers had seemed to quiet during our conversation. I ended the call before things could take a turn for the worse. The motorcycle that I'd heard in the distance was getting closer. I grabbed my coffee and walked towards the road, curious who would be riding in at this time of day. The bike crested the small hill up the road and the sun behind him made the scene look like some painting that Mom would have hanging on the wall. I stepped back when he got closer to the lot and sat back down with my coffee as he rolled through the gate before walking his bike back into line with the others. He didn't seem to notice me yet, so I turned my eyes back to the horizon that had faded to a light blue with subtle hints of purple.

"Did you sleep at all?" Jax yelled up to me from the parking lot. I stood up, surprised that I had been up on the roof so long, time seemed to have gotten away from me. The lot below was bustling with club members getting ready to head out somewhere. I shook my head and pushed my hair away from my face knowing I probably looked like hell with last night's outfit bed head. He shook his head with a smile and motioned towards the garage. "Mom's here so she can give you a ride home whenever."

I nodded and caught a glimpse of the rider of the bike at the end of the line looking up at me. He didn't move to come closer or say anything but neither did I. It wasn't the time or place. There was some history there that didn't need to be yelled to the rooftops. As soon as I saw him rolling in with the sunrise, I knew that we would have to talk before I left for Georgia. There was no avoiding it this time. When I had come home for Christmas with Hank that year, we'd exchanged a couple glances but never said more than quick hello's to one another and that had been the first time we'd talked since my sophomore year of college. Hopefully we could clear the air between us before I left. We made what I believed was eye contact as he rolled out after Tig, I couldn't be sure because of his dark sunglasses.

"Hey sweetheart. It looks like you were able to have some fun last night." Mom said as I walked into her office. I nodded, feeling a little ashamed in how drunk I'd gotten. I was paying for it with regret and a headache that hadn't eased any since I'd woken up. She motioned towards the water dispenser by the door that led out to the garage. "Trust me, it will help."

"I hope so. Coffee hasn't helped at all." I said, filling a paper cone with some water before sitting down. I sipped on the water as Mom gave one of the mechanics some hell about being behind on a repair that needed to be finished by the end of the day. She was as fierce as she'd always been. She was getting anything but soft with age.

"What do you want for dinner tomorrow?" I furrowed my brow, wondering what was talking about. "Lexie, it's the first time you've been home for a family dinner in years. What do you want?"

"I don't know, Mom. Spaghetti? I've missed your sauce." I said, knowing she would appreciate the compliment. She smiled and starting jotting down a list of what I assumed she needed from the grocery store. "Are you heading out soon?"

"Not for a couple hours, baby. Do you need something?" She asked, focusing on her paperwork again.

"I was wanting to go home and shower, maybe go see Tommy and Dad." I diverted my eyes away from her, not wanting to see the sadness that I already felt in my heart. I heard a cabinet drawer open and then the jingling of keys.

"Here, baby. It's parked around back, black Mustang. It was a tow that no one ever came looking for. Gas tank should be full." I took the keys and gave her a small smile, knowing she understood my need for some privacy. I was expecting to see a beat up, neglected clunker in the back lot but the Mustang was surprisingly well cared for. It was older but it was clean and ran strong, not that I ever doubted the mechanical soundness of it. I had to walk myself through driving a manual again but once I made it to the gate, it was like I never took a four year break from driving one. Atlanta traffic and manual transmissions just didn't go together so the Nissan Hank and I bought to replace my old Jeep was an automatic.

I tossed the keys and my bag on the table by the door before going down the hall for a shower in hopes that it would ease my body aches. I started the water and let it warm up as I stripped out of yesterday's outfit. I ran my hand over my only tattoo, a Celtic tree of life on my right side, and thought about Hank's reaction when he first learned I had a tattoo. He'd been blown away that my Mom hadn't thrown a fit when I got it done. His mother certainly had a lot to say about it when she saw it. Hank had invited me out on his parents' boat during our first July 4th together. I thought Martha's eyes were going to pop out of her skull when I took my bathing suit cover off to get into the water with Hank. My tattoo isn't small, I'd give her that but she commented on it all day. Years later, Hank told me that she had tried to talk him out of dating me for a month after that. He said that he told her I was the one and he didn't care if I had a tattoo on my forehead. We had barely been together a month. He had always been sure about us though, ever since our first date.

When I stepped out of the shower, my finger tips were wrinkled and the bathroom was full of steam. I toweled my hair and dried my skin before padding into my bedroom to find something to wear. For some reason, I wanted to look nice for Daddy and Tommy. I finally settled for a pair of dark jeans, a white, lace top and my leather jacket. I finished drying my hair, threw some clear mascara on and headed out to the cemetery that I used to visit at least once a month before I went to college. I thought about getting flowers on my way over but I knew neither Dad nor Tommy would have ever wanted them.

I spent a while at Tommy's grave, telling him how Mom and Jax were doing and then what I'd been up to since I visited him last time I was in Charming. I told him about the hospital and some of the surgeries I'd done, knowing how much he would have loved the gross ones. I promised to come see him again before I went to visit Dad's grave before the sun went down and the cemetery technically closed.

"Hey, Daddy. I'm sorry it's been a while since I came to visit." I said, running my hand over the top of the cool, marble headstone. I felt my breath catch in my throat and closed my eyes, wishing he was there to give me a hug and tell the most common lie a Daddy ever tells his little girl, that everything was going to be okay. "I graduated medical school, Daddy. I'm going into trauma surgery. I want to make a difference. It was hard, before I left there were two motorcycle wreck victims. The rider didn't make it to the hospital but his wife just had a couple broken bones. I told the woman about you. I like to think it helped her a little."

"Hank's gone now to. He was trying to save a family from a house fire and he got burned really bad. His buddy said that they'd been ordered out of the house but he could hear someone crying and he turned back to get them. The doctors don't even know how he managed to get the little boy to the door before collapsing. Everyone back in Georgia is calling him a hero. I guess he is but I can't help being mad at him. He was supposed to come home safe. I asked him to before every shift. He always promised and I was stupid enough to believe him. I'm so mad at him for leaving me." I was letting it all out, everything I'd been holding back, everything I'd felt too guilty to tell anyone else. "We were talking about having a baby in a couple years. We were going to name him Thomas if it was a little boy. Now I'm just alone. I'm just a widow who isn't allowed to be sad because my husband was some damn hero."

I heard a twig snap behind me and spun around, swiping at the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, trying to pull myself together. He took a step forward and tucked my hair behind my ear before pulling me into a hug. I pressed my cheek against his leather covered chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. He smelled like mint, smoke and leather just like he always had. "You didn't answer my question."

"Because you wouldn't like the answer." He said in the same, husky voice I'd known for years. I nodded and let myself stand in his arms for a few more moments. When I stepped back, his dark eyes were looking down at me with a softness I'd rarely seen from him. I dropped my eyes to the ground and looked away from him. "Lexie."

"Happy, I can't do this tonight." I said, turning back to meet his eyes before walking back to the car. "I'm sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

**And for the promised, weekly update, we have Chapter 5! I'm already blown away by the support and appreciate every review, like, follow and PM I have gotten! Thank you, Thank you! I'm starting to get an idea of a timeline for the next few chapters so I can tell you that they'll be quite a lot going on. Just something to look forward to! I plan on having one maybe two more chapters before we pick up on a few events from Season 1. And now:::::**

Chapter 5

Mom woke me up early the next morning, earlier than I would have cared to be awake after the post-party lack of sleep followed by a night of endless thinking. I felt sluggish as I got dressed in jeans and an old band t-shirt which I had to promise to change out of before dinner. Mom eyed me curiously as I propped my elbow on the car door and yawned.

"What's keeping you up, baby? You've got to get some sleep." Mom said after my third yawn before we made it to the grocery store. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes.

"How am I supposed to sleep, Mom? It was fine the first night back but it caught up with me again. He's still gone." I said, tired of talking about it. Contrary to what I'd always told patients in the past, it doesn't help to talk about it.

"He is still gone, baby. That isn't going to change. I'm sorry baby but his life ended, not yours. He wouldn't want you to stop living your life. Trust me, I've been in your shoes." Mom said, pulling into a parking spot at the store. I scoffed and bit my bottom lip to keep from crying.

"He was my life, Mom." I tossed the car door open and got out before she could say anything. I was so frustrated with feeling like a victim. I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm. We walked into the store and divided the list to get the shopping done faster. I hit the produce while Mom went to hassle the butcher. Just doing something normal like grocery shopping felt foreign to me. We were loading the bags into the trunk of the car when Mom finally stopped and looked at me.

"Baby, you've always been your own person. It makes me sad to see you like this. It's okay to miss him but you need to find yourself again." Mom's voice was soft which had my attention. I nodded and gave her a little smile. She was right. She glanced at me as we got back in the car. "Have you talked to him?"

"What? Who?" I almost choked on my bottle of water. There was no way she knew about Happy. Tara was the only other person that knew anything and she still didn't know everything. Mom raised her brow.

"Clay, Alexis. Who did you think I meant?" There it was. I went and peaked her curiosity and I knew that meant she'd be watching me like a hawk, trying to figure out what I was keeping from her. I groaned and shook my head.

"No, I've been lucky enough to avoid him so far." I said, pursing my lips. She sighed and started driving back to her house. I knew he would be at the family dinner, it was his house. Our problems went back to just after Dad died. Clay came into our family too fast and tried to make out like he'd belonged there since the beginning. He barely showed me any attention unless he was scolding me for this or lecturing me about that. When I announced that I had been accepted to Duke, all he had to say was that he wasn't paying for it; that I could go to college around here or I could pay for it myself. That was a big reason why I visited so infrequently after I left Charming. I was a full time student with two jobs, even if I'd had the time to come home, I didn't want to. "Do you need my help in the kitchen?"

"No, I wasn't planning on remodeling so I don't think we need a fire. Oh. Lexie, I didn't mean." She sounded flustered and I knew she didn't mean any harm by the joke. I smiled and managed to laugh a little.

"Mom, it's fine. I'm just going to go out for a little while. I'll be back in time to change." I said, giving her a hug after closing the refrigerator. She nodded, obviously still concerned about what she'd said. She was right though. I was horrible in the kitchen. I sent a quick text message before getting in the Mustang and heading out of towards the mountains. I stopped at a gravel pull-off and waited, wondering if he was going to show up or not. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't be able to but an even bigger possibility was that he just wouldn't want to. After waiting in the car for a few minutes, I got out and started walking down towards the overlook. It was one of my favorite places around Charming.

"You going to run this time?" I turned around and shrugged my shoulders. He nodded and started walking towards me. I tensed, unsure of what he was planning to do. He braced his hands on the railing right beside me and looked out over Charming. I relaxed and let out the breath I'd been holding in. "Why here?"

"Same reason we met here before. It's private." I said, resting my butt on the top of the railing. He looked over at me and raised his brow. I rolled my eyes. "There's more than one thing people need privacy for, Happy."

"I know but at least you relaxed." He said, turning around and sitting on the rail. I smirked and agreed with a nod. "What now?"

"I don't know, Happy. We didn't exactly stop talking on good terms." I said, twisting my spoon ring around my thumb.

"You mean when you left or when I came out to see you and you told me to go to hell?" His voice was still level but I could tell he was still bothered by both instances.

"Both, I guess. More the second one though. You knew I was leaving the first time, you just didn't like it." I pointed out, shifting at least some of the blame away from me. He cut his eyes over at me but didn't say anything. "What did you want me to do? Stay here and see you every few weeks or months when you came down from Tacoma?"

"You told me to come out here so you could ask stupid questions?" He growled, pushing away from the rail. I took a deep breath and told myself not to snap back at him. "What do you want, Alexis?"

"I want to clear the air between us, Hap. I just don't want you to hate me anymore." I knew I sounded like a little kid but I couldn't find any better way to put it. He shook his head and walked back towards his motorcycle. "Damnit you jackass. Just say it. Say you hate me for leaving and we can both go on about our lives."

"Really, Lexie? That's what we've been doing for years. You got married, remember? If that's not going on about your life I don't know what is." He said, slamming his helmet onto his seat. I scoffed and motioned towards him.

"Yeah, I guess you think I got what I deserved." I snapped, storming towards the car to get as far away from him as possible. He slammed the door shut before I barely had it open.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, holding the door closed. I blinked a couple times, wondering how he hadn't heard yet. I let my hand drop from the door handle then crossed my arms over my stomach. "Lexie."

"He died last week." I realized it didn't hurt as much to say it as I expected. Happy slid his hand down the door and I could see the confusion etched across his forehead. "That's what I get, huh?"

"I'm an asshole, Lexie, not a sociopath." He sighed and shook his head. "I'd never want you to hurt. I didn't know."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed you knew." I said, feeling horrible for attacking him. He nodded and slowly pulled me into his arms just like he had the day before. I took a deep breath and let myself find some comfort in his hug. He held me close but not tightly, letting me know I could leave if I wanted to. It was different than when we were younger; back then we would have either been ignoring each other or hooking up. There was rarely, if ever, any middle ground with us. I glanced up at him to say thank you but couldn't find the words. His dark eyes seemed warm unlike the ice cold looks he was giving me during our short-lived fight. I knew there was still a lot left unsettled between us but it could wait. I wasn't leaving for another week. I moved to speak but found my lips searching for his and stepped back quickly. He dropped his arms to his side and watched me carefully.

"Nothing happened, Lexie." His voice was low, as if he was trying to calm a wild animal. I swallowed, trying to wet my throat that seemed to be closing up.

"I need to go change for dinner." I said, reaching for the door. He stepped aside and made no move to try and stop me. I nodded and tried to give him a small smile that didn't quite reach my lips. He was putting his helmet on when I looked back in the rearview mirror as I drove away.

"I'm an idiot." I told Tara as I cradled my cellphone with my shoulder. I had to tell someone about what had just happened, just to get it off my chest. I told her everything, including how I really wanted to turn back.

"Lexie, you aren't an idiot. You are in a really vulnerable state and you two have history. I'd go as far to say it's probably normal to feel like you want to be with him." Tara was being clinical and I was almost angry with her for it. I needed Tara the friend not Tara the doctor, unfortunately we doctors weren't the best at separating our personalities like that. I glanced up in the rearview mirror again and noticed blue lights behind me. I groaned.

"Charming's finest is pulling me over. Lunch tomorrow?" I asked, pulling onto the shoulder of the road. Tara chuckled and agreed to lunch before I ended the call. I caught a glimpse of Happy pulling his bike over in front of my car as I got my license and registration out for the officer.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" I squinted my eyes, trying to see the officer's face through the blinding sun. It was Hale. Wonderful, I thought. He'd had a crush on Tara when we were in school and I let it slip to Jax. Well, I actually just told Jax flat out one day in the hallway before class but the point was that Hale got his ass kicked and he blamed me for it as much as he blamed Jax.

"Because you have a grudge against me." I offered, passing my stuff to him before he could even say anything. He looked over my license and I saw his brow rise.

"Georgia, huh? Didn't know the Sons had a charter out that far." He commented before walking back towards his jeep. I rolled my eyes at him while Happy walked back towards my car.

"Less than a week in town and you're already getting into trouble." He said, no doubt trying to ease some of the tension that had boiled up between us. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm still a Teller after all." I admitted. He let out a short laugh and leaned against the car. "Are you coming to Mom's dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, your Mom is one of the last people I'd want to piss off." He said with a small smirk. I always thought it was funny how these big, tough bikers were afraid of my mother. I understood their reasoning but that didn't make it any less entertaining. "Why don't we go for a ride later?"

"You don't remember what just happened back there?" I asked with slight shake of my head. He shrugged.

"Nothing happened, Lexie. It's just a ride." He said, honoring me with a very rare but very wonderful Happy Lowman smile. I couldn't help myself and nodded in agreement.

"Okay, okay." I said with a laugh as Hale walked back up to the car. Happy took a couple steps back but stayed close while Hale handed me my stuff. He looked at Happy cautiously. I knew that Happy wasn't exactly like my brother and the others. I knew what he was for the club but I also knew there was more to him than just the tattoos on his abs and what he'd done to earn them. Most people never saw that side of him though.

"I'm letting you off with a warning, Mrs. Teller-Grant. Watch your speed." Hale said before walking away. I tapped my license on the steering wheel, wondering what I was supposed to do about my name now. Happy knocked on my windshield, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Stop thinking. I'll see you at your Ma's." He said, walking to his bike. I smiled, thankful for his friendship. We'd never managed to be friends without benefits before but I was determined to make it work this time. I drove straight back to Mom's and snuck down the hall before she could question me about where I'd gone and with who. I got in the shower and laughed at the idea of sneaking into my room at twenty seven years old. I got dressed and braided my hair back into a loose French Braid before stepping into a pair of heeled boots and heading into the kitchen. It was almost time for everyone to start showing up so it seemed pretty safe.

"Lexie, who you dressing up for?" Jax asked with a wicked grin. I flipped him a bird as Mom turned around to look at me.

"What? It's just a shirt and jeans." I said, looking down at my outfit. Mom laughed and folded her arms across her chest.

"Sweetheart that's silk and a second skin you're calling jeans. You look good though baby." She gave Jax a pointed look, letting him know not to pick on me. He rolled his eyes and took a long drink from his beer bottle. I sat down on the stool next to Jax and watched Mom finish cooking. Someone, probably Jax, had already been ordered to set the table so there wasn't much left to do.

"Hey Sexy Lexie, what are you doing doll face?" Tig gave me a kiss on the cheek as he set a pack of beer on the counter in front of Jax. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away with my boot.

"That nickname is so unoriginal, Tigger." I teased back. He gave me a bright smile before going to say hi to Mom. I remember telling Jax that I'd wished Mom and Tig had gotten together after Dad died instead of she and Clay. He'd called me crazy but I could still see some chemistry there.

"Alexis, I was starting to think Gemma was imagining you back in town." Clay said, walking in and patting my shoulder with a laugh. I resisted telling him off and forced a tight smile. Mom gave him a quick kiss on the lips as he grabbed her ass. I wanted to hurl. Jax handed me a beer and nodded towards the back porch. I followed him out and pulled out a cigarette from the pack Jax offered me. I started patting my pockets for a lighter.

"Trust me, there ain't one there baby." Tig said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and caught the lighter Happy tossed me as he walked out onto the porch. "Thought you weren't smoking anymore."

"I don't too much. Just now and then." I said, tossing the lighter back to Happy. I smirked when he caught it despite looking me up and down. "I've got to ask, what's up with the hair, kid?"

"What? I'm probably older than you." The guy with the Mohawk said. I'd met him at the party but I couldn't remember his name after all the beer and whiskey. "What's wrong with my hair."

"Nothing, princess. She's just jealous." Bobby said with a booming laugh. I smiled and climbed up on the porch railing as the prospect walked out to join us behind Chibs. Chibs gave me a kiss on either cheek before lighting his cigarette off of mine. It felt nice just to hang out with the guys.

"I like your shirt." The prospect said nervously. Everyone started laughing and I gave them a stern look.

"Thank you." I said politely. I could tell he was a little nervous. I was never the mean girl growing up and didn't plan on starting any time soon. Jax shook his head and pulled the prospect into a headlock.

"Sister is off limits, prospect." He shoved him forward playfully as Mom called for everyone to come in for dinner. Happy followed me inside and I could practically feel his eyes on my ass. I pretended not to notice and sat down beside Jax, refusing to make eye contact with Happy. "Who said you could sit by me?"

"I did. Princess rules, remember?" I giggled as he elbowed me in the ribs. Whenever we would bet on something when we were kids, I would always bet princess rules. That meant that if I won, he would have to follow my rules for a whole day. Mom got in on it and made him do it if he was being mean to me too. Jax just shook his head and offered me the basket of bread. I took a slice with a smile and passed the basket on to the Prospect who was sitting on the other side of me.

"Before you all start stuffing your faces, I just wanted to say a couple things. Lexie, we're glad to see you back but I'm sure we all wish it was under better circumstances. It's meant the world to your mother to have you back around. If you ever need anything, you know all you have to do is ask." Clay raised his glass to, followed by everyone else. I felt my cheeks burning a little as I raised my glass and said thank you. "Alright, eat before my old lady's hard work gets cold."

"So, you're a doctor?" The prospect asked a few minutes into dinner. I nodded, unable to answer with my mouth full. "That's awesome. The doctor that saved my nut was a woman."

"Um, yeah. That's really great." I said, unable to look at the meatball on my plate. Jax reached behind me and lightly shoved the kid's head.

"You're an idiot. No one wants to hear about that shit at dinner." Jax said, shaking his head as he turned back to his plate. Tig laughed.

"You want this one, sack? It's a little bigger than you're used to though." Tig said, holding up a meatball on the end of his fork. I laughed along with everyone else, including the prospect. We were actually managing to have a family dinner without any fighting or bickering. I was pleasantly surprised. "So, when are you leaving us, baby?"

"I fly out Sunday. I've got to get back to work or my whole residency year has to start over." I explained. I noticed Mom frown and wished that there was a way to avoid hurting her. It was going to be hard for me to go back to. It couldn't be avoided though. "Mom, do you need some help with dessert?"

"Sure, baby. Jackson, gather up the plates." She said, pointing to the table of empty plates. Jax grumbled under his breath but started doing as she said. If we had been at the clubhouse he probably would have ordered the prospect to do it. This wasn't the clubhouse though. This was home.

After everyone's stomachs were full, the guys shared a few drinks as I helped Mom clean up after dessert. I loaded the last plate into the dishwasher and noticed that she was watching the group of guys talking over a post-dinner beer and smoke. She seemed to be studying them. I walked up and stopped beside her, wondering what she was thinking.

"It was good to see you smiling and laughing at dinner, baby. I don't know what happened between this morning and now, but I'm glad it did. I love you, sweetheart." She took my hand and gave it a little squeeze before going outside and joining Clay and everyone else. I watched everyone for a little longer before I noticed Happy watching me. I gave him a discreet nod.

"I'm still on Georgia time and my bed is calling my name." I announced, wrapping my arm around Jax's back to give him a side hug. He kissed the top of my head before letting me go to say goodbye to everyone else. I gave Tig a quick hug and squeezed Bobby's hand before heading back inside with a wave to everyone else. I changed into a plain, white t-shirt and my leather jacket before grabbing my helmet and slipping out of the front door. I lingered in the shadows for a few minutes, watching the prospect and Juice leave before Happy walked outside. He looked right at me and waved me to him. As soon as my ass hit the bike and my arms wrapped around him, he gunned it out of the driveway.


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter just kind of wrote itself. I felt like my fingertips were on autopilot. With that being said, I apologize for any typos but I just couldn't wait to share this chapter. Hopefully my read through caught most everything. Now, you get to reading and I'll get back to writing! Thank you so much for your reviews, keep them coming!

Chapter 6

I loosened my hold on Happy's waist as his speed steadied. I was comfortable on motorcycles, having grown up around them since I was born. Still, riding with Happy was different than riding with Jax, Opie or my dad. Happy's riding style was a mix between unbridled exhilaration and technical expertise. It was the kind of riding where nothing was on your mind but the ride and the road. It was also exactly what I didn't know I needed.

We rode about an hour east and ended up out by the Camanche Reservoir. The road was deserted at that time of night, so Happy pulled the bike onto the shoulder and cut it off. Once the engine was off, I could hear an owl somewhere off in the distance. Happy gave me his hand to help me off the bike before rising himself. It was nice, the nothingness of the fields on either side of the road. There were some houses a few miles ahead but you couldn't even see their lights from where we were.

"It's nice out here." I said after a few minutes. Happy nodded and offered me his cigarette. I smiled and took a small drag before handing it back to him before walking a few yards into the field. Happy stayed behind by the bike and finished his cigarette as I tried to find out where the owl was perched.

"It could be a ways out, Lexie." Happy said, startling me. I had not heard a single step coming towards me. I shrugged.

"I know." I didn't have any real expectations of finding the owl, I just liked looking for it. "Thank you."

"For?" He rasped, his own eyes scanning the few trees around. I wondered how many people ever got the chance to see him relaxed like that. Sure, the guys saw him let loose and party with the best of them, but this was different. This was Happy just relaxing and enjoying the calm.

"Bringing me out here. Letting me ride with you." I explained with a shrug. He glanced down at me and then pointed at the tree behind us and to the right. I smiled and looked at the dark owl in perched on a high branch. The full moon at its back made for an eerie sight. "You found him."

"You don't need to thank me, Lexie. I wanted to." He said, gazing at the owl. "You're going to be okay. You're stronger than you think."

"I hope you're right." I dropped my eyes from the owl and shrugged a little. I felt his palm on my cheek and looked up at him. The moon cast a silvery light around him and it made some of his tattoos practically glow. I couldn't deny the pull I felt towards him, it had always been there from the day I met him at a rally in Tacoma.

"I am." He said. He placed his forehead on mine and I closed my eyes. I didn't want to run from him, I didn't want to feel like this was wrong. I felt him take a deep breath and then his touch was gone. I opened my eyes and he was standing a couple feet back. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"What?" I asked, my mind running at a snail's pace. I couldn't explain why but it hurt that he was leaving, even though I was leaving on Sunday as well. Maybe it was my need to be the one leaving instead of the one being left.

"I was just coming through Charming on the way to see my Ma. I was supposed to be down there already." I let what he'd said hang in the air for a minute. I didn't want to admit knowing that he probably stayed because of me. If I admitted that, I would also have to admit that I wanted him to. I nodded and shoved my hands in my back pockets.

"Oh, well tell her I said hello." I knew he wouldn't. "We should probably get back so you can get some sleep."

"I'm leaving tonight, Lexie. You know I prefer riding at night if I'm not with the club." He was right. I did know that. He'd explained the strategy in great length one day years ago. I led the way towards the motorcycle and kicked myself for wishing he would just stay a few more days. It wasn't right. It was selfish and inappropriate. We turned back West and I let the road clear my mind again. It wasn't until we passed the welcome sign that my mind started racing. He killed the engine a block away from Mom's house and offered me his hand. He seemed undecided about getting off the bike or not. After a moment he kicked the stand down and stood up, pulling me into a hug. I took it all in, knowing it could be a long time before we ever saw one another again. The realization made my heart race. He planted a kiss on the top of my head before letting go.

"Take care of yourself, Lexie." I nodded with a forced smile that felt pretty similar to a frown and turned to start the short walk home. I paused and turned back to him quickly. He looked up from his bike, "Yeah?"

"Am I still the only one?" I knew he'd understand the vague question. The corner of his mouth perked up as he nodded.

"Yeah, Alexis. I don't let just any bitch on the back of my bike." Those were the exact words he'd said before our first ride together. I had thought that there would have been someone after nine years. If he was anyone else I could have thought that he may have been lying to satisfy me. That wasn't Happy though. He was always honest, even brutally honest sometimes. I smiled brightly and turned back towards home. The Harley roared to life behind me and we went our separate ways again.

"Have a good ride?" I almost jumped out of my skin and my hand reflexively went for the pistol I kept in my bag, only my bag was on my dresser.

"Jesus Christ, Jax! You don't think you could have just waited on the front porch or something normal? Get out of the damn shadow." I said, pressing my palm onto my chest to slow my racing heart. He laughed and fell into step beside me.

"What and let Mom know you went on a four hour ride with Happy?" I froze in place and stared at him. He rolled his eyes and nudged me forward. "Yeah, I know. He told me he was leaving after he told you goodbye. Do I even want to know what's going on there?"

"Nothing is going on. I haven't seen him in years. We were friends before I left for Duke." I said, leaving out any and all detail. He shook his head and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Well, if Mom says anything, you couldn't sleep and we went out on the bike. You obviously know how to sneak around so just come up with something." He said, a little snap to his voice. Jax was always protective of me and he hated everyone I'd ever dated in high school. I gave him a kiss on the cheek when we got to the driveway.

"In case I don't get a chance to say it before I leave, I think you should talk to Tara. I know you still love her. Take it from me, Jax. You don't want to waste time when you don't know when your last day could be." I watched his chest rise high and then fall back down slowly.

"I'll think about it." He said with a small smile. I nodded and opened the front door slowly, knowing it had a creak to it when it was open more than halfway. The house seemed quiet, so I slipped back down the hall and into my room. My jeans and boots were barely off before I was falling asleep.

"So, wait. Jax knew that you were going to ride with Happy? Wasn't he usually the one focusing on no one knowing about you two? Why would he tell Jax anything?" Tara asked as we waited for the waiter. I shook my head and pushed my sunglasses up onto the top of my head. The sun was warming my back as we sat on the patio and talked about everything that had happened the night before.

"I don't know. I guess since nothing was going to happen, he wanted to be straight with Jax in case anyone was missing me? I stopped trying to understand men a long time ago, club men even longer." I said with a laugh. Tara chuckled and nodded in agreement. When it came to men, the club took the prize in being complicated. Tara had always likened dating Jax to dating a married man. To her, being an old lady was like being a mistress and the club was Jax's wife and three kids. It was one of the many reasons she'd gone to Chicago.

"How do you like Emory? I've heard their surgical teaching staff is like a hall of fame." Tara asked brightly. I nodded and we delved into a conversation about doctors we'd worked with, cases we'd worked on and days we'd gone without sleep. It wasn't anywhere near as glamorous as TV could make it seem and nothing prepared you for the first ruptured bowel you had to repair. We spent the whole lunch talking about anything and everything. It was only towards the end that I realized I'd not talked about Hank or felt the ache of his absence.

"You should come visit me in Atlanta next time you have some vacation hours to blow." I said, hugging Tara. I knew her schedule was pretty full for the rest of the week and there wouldn't be much time to see each other before I was scheduled to leave.

"Ugh, I'm going to miss you." Tara said, squeezing me tightly. "You know there are open residency slots here. They're practically begging for surgeons."

"I'd hate to steal your thunder." I said with a wink. We had a running joke about who was the better surgeon. She had a couple more years under her belt but I was pretty sure of myself. "If I'm late to the nail place Mom may claw my eyes out with her acrylics."

We parted ways and I headed across town, not that it was that far, to have a Mother-Daughter day with Mom. She was waiting in her Cadillac when I parked the mustang by the front door. Surprisingly, she didn't say too much about my tardiness. My choice in nail color seemed to be a far worse offense.

"Alexis. You aren't ten. Pale pink isn't cute anymore. You need something bold, something mature. Look at this red." She handed me a bottle of stop-sign red and I scrunched my nose at it. It was definitely too bold for me. "Lexie."

"I'll get French. It's always classic and it's definitely mature." I said with a smile. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Sure, if you're an aging debutante." She muttered, walking towards her nail technician with the bright red bottle she'd offered me. I chuckled and settled down with my technician.

"Oh, what beautiful rings. Here, I don't want the chemicals to damage them." The young woman said, lifting my left hand. I slid the rings off and slid them into my jean pocket, feeling Mom's eyes on me. I looked over at her and smiled, letting her know that I was okay. We spent the rest of the day together, shopping and pampering ourselves. We didn't get back from Sacramento until a couple hours later than we'd planned, so we stopped by the clubhouse to let Jax and Clay know we were back safe. When we walked inside, the tension was so thick it was almost suffocating.

"Who was supposed to be watching the warehouse? That shipment was due next week! It probably looked like a fucking fireworks show out there!" Clay was yelling at no one in particular. I furrowed my brow, wondering what he was talking about.

"No one should have known it was even there. This had to be Alvarez. Who the hell else would rob it and then burn it?" Tig asked, kicking at a chair. I put two and two together and dropped my bag with a thud.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Guns? You had a warehouse full of guns?" I asked, louder than I really meant to. Everyone turned around and finally noticed Mom and I standing there.

"That's none of your business. It was just a warehouse." Clay snapped, pointing his ringed finger at me. I stormed up to him and resisted shoving him backwards.

"It was just a warehouse? Do you have ANY clue what improperly store ammunition can do during a fire? You put innocent firemen at risk, you idiot! They would have had no idea what they were getting into until they got in there and bullets started flying. You greedy bastard." My palm connected with his cheek with a loud pop. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed it tightly.

"Just because your trust-fund old man was dumb enough to walk into a fire doesn't give you any right to lecture me. If you weren't family I'd teach you a lesson in respect. You learn your place or you leave." He yelled, pushing me away. I rubbed my wrist where he'd been gripping it as Jax stepped between us.

"Clay!" Mom snapped. I put my hand up and shook my head.

"Don't bother, Mom. This is why I chose to stay on the other side of the country. Hank offered to move out here but I told him I couldn't bear to put him through having an in-law like him." I pointed at Clay and laughed darkly. "I'm not some old lady or sweet butt, Clay. You don't get my respect by wearing a flash on your kutte, you have to fucking earn it. You're not even half the man my father or my husband were. I'll leave the Mustang at your house and get a ride to the airport."

I stormed out of the clubhouse after giving Jax and Mom both a quick hug. There were sad eyes all around the room but I was too angry to care. I knew that if I stayed any longer, it would only get worse. As much as I didn't like seeing them together, I didn't want to cause any more problems between Mom and Clay. I drove near double the speed limit to the house, packed quickly and called Tara for a ride.

"I'm really sorry to ask you to do this." I said, getting in the passenger seat after tossing my stuff in the trunk. She shook her head.

"What are friends for? Besides, I know how Clay can be and it's probably better to get you out of here before you slice his jugular with a scalpel in the middle of the night." Tara said, joking to lighten the mood a little. I laughed darkly.

"Why do you think my medical bag is back in Atlanta?" I said, dead serious. Tara twisted her mouth and gave me a shallow nod. She listened to me vent about Clay the rest of the way to San Francisco. I sighed as she stopped the car in the unloading zone. "You're the best friend a girl could ask for."

"It goes along with being the best surgeon." She said with a wink and a squeeze of my hand. "It was good seeing you, Lexie. Take care of yourself."

"I will. Thanks again, Knowles." She nodded and gave me a wave as I closed the door. I charged the fee to change my flight on my credit card and waited for my flight back to reality. I checked my phone, having felt a phantom vibration in my pocket. There were no new messages so I opened my inbox, looking through it to kill the time. I came to Happy's messages and took a deep breath before selecting to delete the folder. There wasn't much in it besides a couple texts about meeting up and him letting me know he got to Bakersfield safe but I figured out of sight would mean out of mind. My phone asked me if I was sure I wanted to delete the messages and my thumb hovered over the screen.

"Flight 4716 to Atlanta is now boarding. Flight 4716 to Atlanta." I dropped my phone in my bag and headed to the gate quickly. I checked my pockets for my license and realized I hadn't put my rings back on. I looked at them for a minute before putting them back on my finger and handing the woman at the gate my boarding pass and license.

"Have a nice flight, Mrs. Grant." I gave her a polite smile and walked down the ramp to the plane, refusing to look back.


	7. Chapter 7

Note: This chapter is shorter than the last few for a reason. I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter! We will start getting into some of Lexie's past soon for those of you that are curious about her and Clay's beef :) Thank you for the PM's and reviews, that's why I'm able to keep writing like this! And now:::::

Chapter 7

"Hey, Mrs. Redding." I said, knocking softly on the door. After my flight landed, I had gone home, gotten a few hours of sleep, taken a quick shower and headed to the hospital to see her. She'd been getting tests done so I came back the next morning as I wasn't back on rotation until Monday and wanted to check in on her. I saw her face light up a little as she pushed away her half-eaten breakfast.

"Dr. Grant! I thought you were in California. Surely you have something better to do than visit an old lady on your off day." She said, motioning towards the chair by the window. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

"Not at all. How are you? Remember, I'm not Dr. Grant right now, I'm just Lexie. You can be honest." I said, leaning back in the chair. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"We were married for twenty years, baby. I can't be okay in two weeks. I'm getting better though. The memories are making me smile more than cry now. I just dread going home to that empty house." She said, shaking her head. I got it. Every minute I spent in that house was a challenge and made me feel completely alone. I was going to stop by the liquor store on my way home to help out. "How about you, sweetheart? Did your trip home help?"

"It did, actually. I started feeling normal there towards the end. Then I came back and I started feeling guilty for having had a good time while I was out there." I frowned and twisted my rings for the first time in a few days. Mrs. Redding shook her head.

"You can't feel guilty for being happy. What if it had been you? Would you have wanted Mr. Grant to mourn your passing or celebrate your life by being happy?" She asked with a motherly look. I chuckled and nodded my head.

"You sound like my mother, just less blunt and you have a funny accent." I said with a wink she laughed and held her side where her ribs had been fractured. "Careful."

"Oh, stop fussing over me, Lexie. Can I tell you a secret?" She said, rubbing her side. I leaned back again and nodded. "Mr. Redding wasn't my first husband. I was married in my early twenties. His name was John and I loved him so dearly. He was the ying to my yang. He was an Army man and three years after we were married, he went out on deployment to the desert. He didn't make it back and I thought it was the end of the world. I truly thought I would never smile again. I couldn't keep living on base without him, so I moved back home. That's when Mr. Redding happened. We'd gone on a couple dates in school but never really connected. We'd both changed by the time I came back though. I fought it for a long time, thinking that John would have been heartbroken had I moved on and loved another. Eventually, I quit fighting fate. See, John was the love of my life for the time that we were together but I learned that Mr. Redding was the love of my life to. That didn't make John any less important to me. I'd like to think he would have liked to see me happy and I was. Oh, Lexie I was so very happy."

"Your children never knew about John?" I asked, processing everything that she'd told me. She shook her head with a warm smile.

"No, sweetheart. It just never came up." She said with a small lift of her shoulders. "You understand, don't you? You are allowed to love again. A husband wants his wife to be happy. It's part of that love you shared. Don't deny yourself a chance at love again because every day with the person you love is precious. It will never be enough so you can't waste it."

"I swear it sounds like you went to California with me, Mrs. Redding. Excuse me for a minute, my mother in-law has been calling me back to back. I just want to make sure everything is okay. I'll be right back."

"Martha?" I answered, wondering what was going on. I hadn't told her that I was back from Charming yet, so I was surprised by what would have been an early morning call.

"Alexis, I saw your car in the driveway this morning. I wasn't aware you were back yet." I couldn't tell if she was upset or not. I was planning on keeping to myself for a couple days but it didn't look like that was going to happen. I felt guilty for taking off after the funeral, so I bit the bullet.

"I am. I've been recovering from jet lag. Do you think we could go out to dinner? You, Hailey and I?" I offered, knowing that even if she didn't want to, she was too polite to decline my invitation. She agreed, of course and we agreed to meet at noon the next day. I walked back into Mrs. Redding's room, but she was sound asleep. I smiled at how peaceful she seemed and hoped that our talk helped her as much as she'd helped me. I pulled the door to quietly and checked my rotation schedule before leaving the hospital. I looked forward to getting back to work, to getting back to helping other people. After stopping by the liquor store, I went home and started unpacking my bags from Charming. I could notice a slight smell of smoke on even the clean clothes and realized that I had become nose blind to it while I was there. I decided to go ahead and wash the clothes again, the smell just seemed out of place in the house.

I wandered through the house with a bottle of wine. Everything reminded me of Hank. Some of the memories, like our wedding pictures on the mantle made me smile while stepping foot into the kitchen where I'd gotten the call took the air right out of my lungs. By the time I made it back into the bedroom, the bottle was half empty. I sat down on his side of the bed, noticing how cool it was from his absence. I finished the bottle and decided to sell the house. I couldn't stay there, not without him. If it was just the memories, I may have decided otherwise but there was no way I could afford the mortgage alone. I needed something smaller both in size and price.

The next morning, I woke up with a splitting headache and little time to get ready for lunch. I had to force myself off the couch and up the stairs to take a shower in the guest bedroom. The neighbor was mowing his lawn, just like he did every Saturday morning and it wasn't helping my hangover at all. It was official, I was back in Atlanta.

"Hey, Hailey." I gave her a quick hug after getting out of my car and meeting she and Martha at the front door of their favorite restaurant. It was fancier than I cared for but I owed them for leaving like I did. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Despite the almost ten year age difference, Hailey and Hank had always been close. She had his same curly blonde hair and green eyes. It almost hurt to see her.

"Hey, Lexie. I missed you." She said, hugging me again. Even though Martha and I were never on the same page or even in the same chapter, Hailey and I had a pretty good relationship. She always said I was the big sister she'd always wanted, especially when Hank was around so she could tease him. Martha hugged me politely and gave me a peck on the cheek. Both she and Hailey were in summer dresses where I was in khaki pants and a green blouse. I was okay with dressing up for lunch but I only wore dresses for special occasions. They just weren't my style.

"I just want to start off by apologizing to both of you. I know that I'm not the only one that lost Hank. I left because I needed my family. I know we're still family but I couldn't be around you because it just reminded me of him. I know it's selfish but I hope you can understand and forgive me. I only did what I felt I had to." I felt a weight lift from my chest after I'd said my piece when we sat down. I wasn't apologizing for leaving but I was sorry for how it made them feel. Hailey gave me a smile and a nod. I was just waiting on Martha to say something.

"Alexis, we don't see eye to eye on much of anything but you are still family, dear. Losing our Hank still hurts and I don't expect the loss of a child ever stops hurting. When you left though, I was worried that you wouldn't come back. I thought I had lost both my son and daughter. You will always be family, Lexie. Just don't get any more tattoos." She said with a small laugh. I chuckled and nodded.

"I can't promise that but I'll keep you in the dark as long as possible." I said with a smile. She sighed dramatically but the air seemed to clear between us. The tension that was normally there had been lifted and we were able to just enjoy our lunch together.

Life started getting back to as close to normal as possible after a while. I went back to work and started spending some time with coworkers and Hailey when I wasn't at the hospital. I had started packing and getting ready to sell the house about a week after coming back from Charming. There were a few people scheduled to see it but no one had put any offers in yet. I knew the housing market wasn't great, so I didn't try to find another place just yet. I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to leave anyways.

"Hey, Tara. I'm about to scrub in for a procedure. Can I call you back?" I said, pausing at the OR doors to answer Tara's third call. She was supposed to be flying out for a visit in a few days and I was hoping she wasn't having to cancel.

"Lexie! Your Mom has been trying to call you. It's Wendy. Gemma found her on the kitchen floor this morning. She's got enough crank in her to kill a grown man. We're going in for an emergency C-section in a couple minutes." Tara was speaking quickly and I could tell she was cradling the phone with her shoulder as she scrubbed in. I felt like all of the blood in my body drained down to my feet. The world started spinning. I had ignored several calls from Mom earlier because of an argument we had the last time I'd spoken with her. "I'll let you know something as soon as I can but your Mom is a wreck."

"I'll call her on my way to the airport. Thank you, Tara. Please be the better surgeon, just this once." I said. She ended the call without another word. I paced back and forth for a minute to slow my racing heart. I didn't want to seem as panicked as I was feeling when I told Dr. Thompson that I needed to leave.

"Dr. Grant, we're waiting on you." Dr. Thompson said, opening the swinging door with her foot. I took a deep breath and stood up straight.

"I'm sorry but I can't scrub in for this procedure. There's been a family emergency and I need to leave. I'm sorry, it's my nephew." I said, hoping she understood. I had told her a little about my family and she knew that Wendy's pregnancy was more than high risk.

"Dr. Grant, you understand that you have already missed almost two weeks. You've been back for just over a month. We all have families, Dr. Grant. You need to decide if leaving to hold their hands is worth your spot in this program." I felt like I had been hit by a tractor trailer and then a train back to back. I knew that I missed time but I didn't ever think they would give me an ultimatum like that. "So, are you scrubbing in?"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Whew, I struggled with this chapter for some reason! Never fear, I've gotten back in my groove and have things planned out for the next couple chapters. Thank you for your reviews! Please, Please Please keep them coming, they are very inspiring. And now:::

Chapter 8

I felt numb as I sat down in my window seat and stared out over the Tarmac. I was still a doctor but I had no hospital, no residency program. It was surreal that all the hard work I'd put into my career had all but flown out of the door with one phone call. Well, one phone call preceded by the death of my husband. I may have been able to keep my position if it was just one or the other. That wasn't life though. At least, that wasn't my life. Mom always said that bad things came in threes and that was starting to scare the shit out of me.

I leaned back against the seat and wondered how I was supposed to show my face after storming out of the clubhouse following my fight with Clay. I meant every word I had said and had no intentions to apologize but I didn't look forward to the drama. I should have been used to it. The argument about the warehouse was probably in our top three showdowns. When I was in high school, we had a huge fight when I had run my mouth about Clay being unable to tell me what to do because he wasn't my father and I wasn't a Son. It wasn't too bad until I brought my Dad up. That's when all of our arguments got bad. I understood that it was partially my fault that we fought so much but had he treated me the same as Jax when we were growing up, I may not have resented him as much. Instead, he tried to rule me with an iron fist. I had a curfew where Jax never did, I had to let Clay know where I was if I wasn't at home, school or the garage, I was constantly reminded to mind my manners around the club so as to not embarrass him. Now that I'm older, it all seems pretty trivial but it ruined any type of relation we could have had.

It felt like the flight took forever, even though it was direct to San Francisco. I knew my credit card company was going to love all of the charges for these tickets, my bank account was a different story. It didn't matter though. I wasn't going to stay on the other side of the country when my family needed me. Even if I couldn't do anything for my nephew, I could be there for Jax and Mom. Part of me regretted leaving my job but family was everything to me. It was how I was raised.

"Hey, thanks for coming out here." I told Juice as I met him at the baggage claim. He shrugged it off and helped me with my bags while making conversation about the flight and the weather. I climbed into the passenger seat of the black cargo van and thanked him for the ride again. "Is there any update on the baby?"

"Uh, yeah. They did surgery. He's really early and needs surgery for his heart and stomach. That's all I really know." He said with a frown. I sighed and called Mom to get more information on the bad news. It was worse than I had expected. She said that not only did he have the Teller flaw, a hole in his heart, but he was also born with gastrointestinal problems. It was hard for me not to use medical terms for everything she told me, but I resisted, knowing it wouldn't make her feel any better about it. I knew that the outlook wasn't good. She also told me that Wendy was at the hospital detoxing.

"She's going to have a lot worse problems than detoxing when I get there. I told her. I fucking told her what would happen if anything happened with my nephew." I said, noticing Juice looking over at me with widened eyes. I ignored him until I got off the phone with Mom. "Sorry."

"Nah, you don't have to be sorry. Just surprised to hear that coming from you. You seem sweet." He said with a shrug. I laughed. Everyone thought that and it was true until I was backed into a corner or someone messed with my family. "I mean, nice. You know?"

"I know, Juice. You really don't have to tip-toe around me." I said with a little smile. He seemed nervous and I couldn't really put my finger on why. Most patches were cocky and sure of themselves. Juice seemed like an enigma of sorts. "So, how long have you been patched in?"

"Uh, two years almost. Jax sponsored me." He said, sounding a little more confident. I nodded and the conversation sort of fell away naturally. I was lost in thoughts and worries about my little nephew and what was going to happen with him. I wanted to be there to celebrate his birthdays and see him grow up. I didn't want to have another headstone to visit. I had enough of those to last me a life time.

"Mom, where's Jax?" I asked, hugging her tightly. She sighed and shook her head as Clay looked on from a couple feet away.

"He went to pay a visit to Wendy's dealer. You know Jax, baby. He can't just sit and do nothing." I did know that and it wasn't comforting. "I'm glad you're able to be here. They have the surgery planned for in the morning. They're going to fix his heart first then hopefully his tummy." Mom's bottom lip quivered and I had to switch into doctor mode to keep from crying myself. I was a sympathetic crier when it came to Mom and Jax. If I saw either one of them crying, I couldn't help but start to cry myself. I saw Tara walking up the hall and turned my attention to her.

"Tara, can I see him?" I asked, meeting her a few yards from Mom and Clay. She glanced past me and then back at me with a small nod. I nodded and followed her back down the hall she had been walking up. "How bad is it?"

"If it was anyone else's son and grandson, I would tell the family to seriously prepare themselves for a less than favorable outcome. If it wasn't a trifecta of problems it wouldn't be so bad. Each of the challenges he's facing could be fatal on their own. This little guy has the odds against him." Tara must have seen the heartbreak I was feeling because she caught my hand a gave it a little squeeze. "He's still Jax's son. He's a fighter. It's in his blood."

I looked inside of the incubator and almost got sick. I had seen premature babies plenty during medical school and at the hospital. It wasn't even his appearance that bothered me. It was knowing that he was my family, that was my little nephew, so vulnerable and small. I placed my hand on top of the plastic lid and closed my eyes, saying a little prayer in case anyone was listening. Tara was telling me about their strategy for the surgery in the morning but I could hardly hear her over the blood pounding in my ears. I swallowed hard and stepped back, letting my hand fall to my side. Tara stopped talking and looked at me with concern written all over her face.

"Where is Wendy?" I asked, hearing the venom in my own voice. We stepped out of the isolated NICU room and back into the hall before she shook her head. "Tara, that bitch may have signed that child's death certificate before he even had a damn chance. I warned her. It's not like she didn't know this was coming. She knew what she was doing to him and she just didn't care."

"Lexie, I understand. I still can't let you in there to finish her off. She's not out of the woods yet either." Tara said, obviously choosing her words carefully. I shook my head, annoyed and frustrated. "Just be with your Mom, Lexie. Jax is, well, being Jax. Gemma needs someone to help her through this. I promise I'll keep you updated throughout the night. Make her go home to get some rest. Being exhausted won't help anyone."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, Doc. I'll get the old woman home and settled in. Anything happens, I want to know first." I said, doubting Mom's heart could go through hearing bad news from anyone else. She nodded and gave me a hug before we parted ways. After a lot of convincing from both Clay and I, we got Mom to head home for the night. I drove her car and Clay followed behind on his bike. "You've got to get some sleep, Mom."

"I know baby. You do to. You look exhausted, did you leave right from the hospital?" I bit my lip, not wanting to add to her stress by telling her I had actually left the hospital for good in order to come out here. I nodded and faked a smile as best I could.

"Yeah, I was about to go into surgery when Tara called me." I gritted my teeth, knowing I had just stuck my foot in my mouth. Mom thought I had just returned the calls I missed from her. She had no idea I even knew Tara was back in town.

"Tara called you? So, I'm guessing it wasn't a surprise to hear she was back in town? How long have you known, Alexis?" I groaned at the line of questioning but at least we were off the subject of my job. I gave her the short version of meeting up with Tara at a conference and keeping in touch. She wasn't amused. "After what she did to Jax?"

"Mom, Wendy just did a lot more damage to Jax and our family than Tara ever did. Besides, I left too. Remember?" I hated to play the devil's advocate but it was the truth. I had left Charming, even further behind than Tara did. The biggest difference was that people knew I was going, where as Tara just disappeared one day.

"That's different and you know it. I'm going to bed. You let me know if your best friend knows anything." Mom said, closing the car door before I could say anything to defend myself. I took a deep breath and turned the car off before getting out. Clay walked up and stopped beside me.

"Jax is okay. He's blowing off some more steam at the clubhouse. Give him some time." He said simply before continuing into the house. I took a deep breath, needing to blow off some steam of my own. I smoked a cigarette before going inside and lying down, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep. Tara texted me every few hours with updates, but it was just more of the same. When the sun starting breaking the horizon, I decided to go ahead and get out of bed. I was already showered, dressed, and full of too much coffee by the time Mom walked into the kitchen in her robe. She sighed and looked me over.

"Didn't sleep?" She asked. I shook my head even though it felt like more of a rhetorical question. She nodded and poured herself some coffee but she barely touched in the twenty-minutes between pouring it, getting dressed and telling me it was time to leave. I was more than ready and led the way out to her car. Once we got to the hospital, it was just more of the same waiting game. Tara let us know that they were going to be doing both surgeries because if they waited much longer, it would be too much on his system. I tried to call and let Jax know but his phone was either off or he was ignoring me.

"Lexie." I sat up with a start, unaware that I had fallen asleep in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. It was Tara. It was Tara with a small smile. She told us that he had done well during both surgeries and that he was in recovery. There was still some risk, of course, but he was getting closer to clearing the woods. I felt refreshed, like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. Mom was ecstatic and almost looked like she was going to hug Tara. The moment didn't last long before she asked Tara if we could see him.

"His color looks better." Mom said as we got into the car. I nodded. "How long did the hospital give you?"

"What? Oh. Uh, a week or two. It just depended, you know?" I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to talk about it. I didn't want to be a failure in anyone's eyes, especially Mom's. I had her drop me off at the clubhouse on her way home, hoping to catch Jax since he still wasn't answering his phone. I found him sitting at the bar with a croweater draped all over him. I rolled my eyes and kicked the bottom of the stool to get his attention. The croweater jumped back and narrowed her eyes at me. I set her with a dead stare, "Beat it."

"How is he?" Jax asked, as if the woman walking away from us had never been there. I raised my brow, wondering what his problem was. I had yet to see him anywhere near the hospital and he hadn't even bothered to answer his phone. I understood that people coped with things differently but he was being ridiculous. I folded my arms across my chest and took a deep breath.

"He's fighting to stay alive. He made it through surgery and is doing better. Where have you been, Jax? He's your son. You should have been there this morning." I said, trying to keep the bite out of my voice. He eyed me angrily for a minute, but then seemed to deflate.

"I didn't want to be there in case something happened." He finally said quietly. I pursed my lips and sat down next to him. In a way, I understood. It was hard for me to be at the hospital when Hank was there. I wanted to be as far away as possible, even though it wouldn't change what happened. I ended up by his bed though, holding his hand as his life slipped away.

"Well, you need to man up. He's going to make it, Jax, and he's going to need you. His mother is a piece of shit, don't be a dead beat dad." I said, shoving his arm. He nodded and offered me a drink. I held up my hand, "Coffee is the only thing keeping me awake."

"Sure that will change." He said with a smirk. I raised my brow, wondering what in the hell he was talking about. I followed his gaze and saw Happy walking through the door. A smile started tugging at my lips as I looked back towards the bar bashfully. Jax laughed. "Really, Lexie?"

"Shut up." I growled. He laughed again and stood up, welcoming Happy with a hug. I turned and gave him a tight smile, unsure of what to say or where we stood. I hadn't talked to him since our ride that night. He nodded towards me but didn't say anything, not that he normally did. Jax leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out of the clubhouse, leaving Happy and I alone aside from a couple croweaters milling around cleaning and gossiping. "Hey."

"You look tired." He said, taking Jax's seat. I nodded, unable to muster up the energy to lie. "How long are you staying this time?"

"I'm not sure yet. At least until Abel is released from the hospital, I think." I glanced over at his ringed hands, noticing some discoloration on his knuckles. He turned and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"Your hospital doesn't mind?" He seemed suspicious. I dropped my eyes from him, knowing there was no way to avoid telling him the truth. At least if I had to tell him I wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"It was come home for Abel or keep my job." I said before taking a deep breath. "Here I am. I'll figure something out when I get back."

"It's family, Lexie. There's always other jobs." He said with a nod. My eyes flitted up to him and I bit my bottom lip. He smirked and ran his eyes up and down my body. I could feel myself warming up. He stood up, catching me off guard and I almost felt like I was falling. "I'll see you around."

Tara blinked and looked at me dumbfounded. I nodded and finished my beer after telling her all about my one and only conversation with Happy the week before. He was still in town and I had seen him around the clubhouse and Charming, but he had yet to say another word to me. It was driving me crazy. Tara leaned back in her seat and shook her head, obviously just as confused as I was. We were finally having a girls' night to celebrate Abel's progress and to unwind.

"I don't get it. I'll see you around?" Tara repeated, waving the waitress over so we could order some more drinks. I nodded with a roll of my eyes. What was more frustrating was that he didn't seem mad, he wasn't avoiding me, he just seemed to see me as part of the background. "Have you said anything to him about it?"

"What? No. If he wants to be an anti-social asshole then that's his problem." I said. It took a minute for me to hear myself and realize how juvenile I sounded. Tara rolled her eyes and I sighed dramatically. "He's probably just not interested anymore."

"How drunk are you, Lexie? You two have been playing this cat and mouse game for years. He's always sounded like he was crazy about you." She said with a laugh. I raised my brow and took a sip of the new mixed drink in front of me. Tara was right, at least about the cat and mouse game. I met Happy when I was sixteen and he was twenty-six, which is a big reason why we never let anyone know about our involvement. For the first year or so it was just flirting and the occasional make-out sessions in dark corners during parties. We were never anything serious or exclusive.

Fast forward a year to the night after my junior prom and you would have thought he was a jealous boyfriend. He was sore about me going to the prom with my then boyfriend Matt. An argument led to making out, as usual, but for the first time making out then led to hooking up. Afterwards he'd told me that I wouldn't be able to not think about him when I was with Matt. I hated him for being right. I broke it off with Matt maybe a month later. Things with Happy and I heated up and I stopped seeing anyone else. I knew that he was still hooking up with sweetbutts when he was on the road or back in Tacoma, but we were never actually exclusive and I knew I would be leaving for college so it never really bothered me. Years later, sitting in the bar with Tara, things were different, I cared.

"More like crazy in general. I'm going to text him." I said, pulling out my phone. Tara shook her head and moved to take it. It was too late. I already sent him a drunken text. It didn't take long before he called my phone. I just stared at it as it vibrated on top of the table. "Shit. What do I do?"

"Answer it?" Tara said with a laugh. I groaned and answered it just before it went to voicemail. It was loud in the bar, so I stepped towards the bathrooms to speak to him.

"You could have just texted me back." I said, trying to sound normal. I could almost picture him narrowing his eyes at me. A guy asked me if I was waiting in line and I shook my head, waving him on by.

"Where are you?" His voice was a growl and I bit my lip. I started to wonder what he was doing and found myself getting irritated.

"Oh, you care?" I asked, narrowing my eyes as if he could see me. I took another sip of my drink that I had brought with me and noticed it was almost empty. "Sorry I texted you. I guess I'm a little drunk."

"Alexis, who are you with and where are you?" His voice was more rough and I knew he wasn't happy. Just like every other patch wearing member of the Sons of Anarchy, he was overprotective of me.

"I'm fine, Lowman. Tara and I are in Lodi having dinner and a couple drinks. You may have known that already if you weren't ignoring my existence." I snapped, finally getting to the real reason I had texted him in the first place. He let out a very annoyed sounding sigh and I waited, tapping my foot impatiently.

"I'm not. Which one of you is driving?" I opened my mouth and closed it without speaking a word. It was a really great question. My two drink maximum for driving was well out of the window and I had planned on being the one to drive. Unfortunately that plan changed after Tara was already pretty tipsy.

"We're going to get a cab." I had tried to sound confident but even I could hear the indecision in my voice. There weren't many cab companies in Lodi and there were even fewer companies that didn't charge an arm and a leg for mileage.

"May as well pull a lighter out and burn your cash. Send me the damn address and I'll take care of it." I started to object and he cut me off. "Just send me the fucking address."

I ended the call and muttered under my breath as I walked back to the table, barely managing to text and walk at the same time. Tara had her elbow on the table and her head resting on her hand. There was really no way either of us could drive. I kicked myself for being a crappy designated driver and sat down across from my best friend with a huff.

"So?" Tara asked after I asked the waitress for a water and to close out my tab. I shook my head, wondering how to explain that the jerk that had been ignoring me was now arranging our way back to Charming.

"He's getting us a way back to Charming and claims to have not been ignoring me. Seriously, he gives me whiplash with the back and forth. He acts like he doesn't care, he gets all mad because I'm having a good time in Lodi with my best friend. I wish he would just pick between caring or not and stick with it." I said, handing the waitress a couple twenties. Tara giggled and shook her head innocently. "What?"

"Well, one, we're both drunk. We're well past the good time point there, designated driver. Two, he probably doesn't know if you want him to care or not. I mean, you did leave the state for eight years and you got married." Tara shrugged, as if to say she was sorry for calling me out. I groaned at her logic.

"It's not like he was sitting around pining for me and pledging his celibacy. He didn't even do that before I left. I'm not asking him to do anything more than just not be an asshole." I said, twisting my mouth. I didn't know who I was trying to kid. Of course I wanted more than that. The problem was, I still felt guilty for even considering being with anyone else so soon after losing Hank. That guilt was probably what kept me from saying anything to Happy before. It was amazing what too many drinks during a girls' night could do. We had a couple glasses of water and then headed outside so I could smoke away some of my stress.

"A word about this and you'll be cleaning toilets with your own toothbrush for a month." I almost choked on the smoke in my lungs at the sound of Happy's angry threat. When he had said he would take care of it, I never thought he would be coming to Lodi. I sighed, wishing I could ride in the van with the prospect and avoid what was sure to be a very awkward ride back to Charming. Tara seemed to be thinking something along the same lines. "Which car is yours?"

"The Cutlass." Tara said, holding out her key ring. Happy opened his hand and she dropped them quickly. Tara never spent that much time around Happy and I could tell she was still pretty intimidated by him, not that he would ever do anything to harm her. Still, I could see where she was coming from. I knew grown men that spoke his name like he was Voldemort from Harry Potter or something. I wasn't blind. I knew he was more than capable of doing things that would earn him such fear. I just also knew that he would never hurt me, if not because of our history together than because I was John Teller's daughter.

 **A/N: End note on this chapter because I'm sure there would be questions. Yes, Lexie will have her "heart to heart" with Wendy, but in time. Her reasoning for waiting will be explained in the next chapter. It's a little, uh, complicated. Hope you liked this chapter! Hope to have a new one posted tomorrow or Wednesday. If not then, you'll have one by this time next week. PROMISE.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Yay! I was able to finish this chapter out today! I hope you all don't mind the pace so far, it will pick up. I just don't want to rush the story or Lexie. I have a pretty lengthy plan for this story and I don't want to cram things together for speed sake. I promise it will all be worth the wait! Thank you so so so much for the support! I love getting notifications and seeing what you think! I do want to apologize for any grammatical errors or typos in this chapter. I'm operating on too little sleep from schedule changes and a sore shoulder from almost laying my motorcycle down. Excuses, excuses, I know. Anyways, here's what you really want to read:::

Chapter 9

"So, you ignore me for over a week and then you show up here with some attitude? I didn't ask you to come get us." I said, glaring at Happy from the passenger seat. Tara had volunteered to sit in the back, leaving Happy and I side by side. He cut his eyes over at me and I pursed my lips, waiting for his answer. His eyes darted to the rearview mirror and then back on the road.

"You want to have this conversation now, Alexis?" He asked with a clip to his voice. I nodded and folded my arms across my chest impatiently. "It is impossible to ignore you. I tried. I've stayed away so that when you leave it's easier on both of us."

"You are such an asshole." I said, shaking my head and choosing not to believe him. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and I could see his knuckles turning white. "You act like you've been sitting around waiting for me to come back. Do you even have any idea how many women you've been with since I left? Fifty? One-hundred?"

"It doesn't matter how many, Alexis. I didn't fucking marry anybody." He growled, accelerating to well over the speed limit. I scoffed and shook my head, earning a glare from him.

"So that's what you're still mad about, that I got married? That's what normal people do, Happy! You date and then if it's the right person, you get married. You don't just hookup whenever you happen to be in the same zip code. Jesus Christ." I spat, feeling the urge to slap some sense into him. Tara groaned when Happy sped up some more.

"The right person. Damnit, Alexis. What was I supposed to do? You wanted to be a doctor since before I met you. I couldn't ask you to stay for me when it meant giving that up." I closed my eyes and shook my head, lost on what to say. "When I rode out to Duke, I hoped you hated it. Damn it, I wanted you to beg me to bring you back with me. When I saw how happy you were, I knew you were never coming back."

"Happy, can you slow down? I don't usually drink and your driving is making me sick." Tara said softly from the back seat. He glanced into the rearview mirror and slowed down to just over the speed limit. "Thank you."

"Then why have you been ignoring me? I'm here now." I said, feeling so frustrated and confused. Everything he was telling me and the alcohol were not mixing well. He looked over at me and shook his head.

"Lexie, I can't win against your hero husband's ghost. Even if I tried, you aren't back. You're just here for a couple weeks and then we're right back where we started." He said, moving his hand over to my thigh. I bit my bottom lip and he looked back at the road, keeping his hand in place. Even as drunk as I was, I knew he was right, at least partially. I wasn't back. I was just here until I figured out what I was going back to in Georgia. I leaned back in the seat and let the argument end there.

I woke up beside Tara the next morning, not exactly sure how we made it to her couch. I remembered telling Happy goodbye at the door and stumbling inside but the rest was just blank. Tara groaned and sat up, rubbing her temples. Her head must have been hurting as much as mine.

"How much do you remember from last night?" I asked, feeling embarrassed about my argument with Happy. Tara pushed herself up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen. She returned with two bottles of water and a promise of coffee.

"As little or as much as you'd like." She smiled. I laughed, quickly followed by a grimace from the pain it shot through my temples. "I'm pretty sure he remembers everything though."

"Of course he does. He always does." I groaned before guzzling down the bottle of water. "I'm going to go shower and then go see Abel. Sorry girls' night ended like that."

"Don't be, partner. I think I'm going to go see Jax." She said it as casually as saying she was going to do laundry. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked back at her with a big smile. She rolled her eyes. "About the Cutlass. I feel like it needs a tune-up."

"Uh huh." I said with a smirk. Her cheeks were still red when I finally found my boots and headed to Mom's. Luckily, the house was empty so I was able to shower, change and get ready without any questions about where I had landed last night.

The shower gave me time to think about my argument with Happy. I thought about what he had said about his visit during my sophomore year at Duke. His visit had been completely unexpected but I had been glad to see him. It was the first time I had seen anyone from Charming since I left. He humored me and let me show him around the city, even having lunch with me at my favorite place in Brightleaf Square. Happy was right. When he visited me, it was during what was probably my happiest time at Duke. After two days in Durham, Happy started getting irritable and distant. It was a complete 180 from the beginning of his visit. We ended up getting in a stupid fight about my friends that he called hippies and nerds. I was hurt, so I lashed out and told him to go to hell. After arguing well into the night, we called a truce and hooked up. The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed with no note or explanation.

Now I finally had that explanation and it was eating away at me. What if he had asked me to come back with him? What if he had asked me to stay in the first place? I was raised to be a strong, independent woman and Mom always told me to follow my own dreams, despite her own commitment to the club. On several occasions she told me that she would be just as proud if I married a Son and gave her lots of grand-babies as she would if I went on to be the best surgeon in the world. As long as I was happy. It was her only stipulation. Despite all of that and despite my dreams of being a doctor, I wondered if I could have been happy if I'd chosen a different path.

I felt a twinge of guilt for not considering what staying in Charming would have meant for Hank and I. No matter what could have been if I had made different choices, I couldn't regret the choices I did make. I didn't regret meeting and falling in love with Hank. I wished it had not ended so soon, with so much ahead of us but I still didn't regret our love, even through the pain. I ran my thumb over my bare ring finger, feeling the slight indention that was still left by wearing the rings for so long without taking them off for longer than a surgery. The rings were zipped up in the inner pocket of my bag, along with Hank's band.

I stopped thinking about Hank and what had happened with Happy before it brought my headache back. After getting dressed in jeans and a simple black top, I headed down to the hospital to see my little nephew. He was getting stronger and stronger every day and the doctors thought he may be ready to go home by the end of the month. Everyone was ecstatic. Everyone except Wendy, that was. I made a note to go by and see if she was up for visitors before I left the hospital.

"Hey, little guy. You're getting so big already!" I cooed, sitting down in the chair beside Abel. He was still in an incubator but it was less intense than his first one that sealed up tighter than a bank. He was eventually stepped down to one where we could reach in and touch him and he was able to be held outside of it for short periods. He was doing better than any of the staff thought he ever would. Even I had my own doubts. Luckily, he was proving everyone wrong. I read him the same little book that had been in his room for the last week or so and then promised to come see him again soon. I smiled when he looked over at me and seemed to not only see me but understand some of what I was saying.

"Get the crash cart! Go!" A doctor was yelling, running down the hall I knew Wendy was still staying on. I knew there weren't many patients in that unit and I had a sinking feeling that it was her. Sure, I wanted to teach her a lesson and I didn't want her anywhere near my family, but I didn't want her to die. She didn't deserve an easy-way-out. In addition to that, I was a doctor and I wholly believed in the oath that I swore. I had promised to do no harm. The only way I ever saw myself breaking that oath was if my or my family's life depended on it.

I found myself making my way down the hall after the crash team, my curiosity getting the better of me. I looked in from the hallway as the team started CPR and getting the paddles ready, all in attempts to save the junkie that had almost killed my nephew. They ended up not using the paddles, but she started seizing violently. I had seen it before. It was a classic overdose.

"What did you do?" I asked Mom, walking into the garage office and slamming the door behind me. She jumped and dropped her glasses on the desk, obviously startled. I repeated my question, emphasizing every word. "What did you do?"

"Alexis Grace, what are you talking about? Don't you dare come into my office yelling and slamming doors." There was the fiery side I had yet to see from Mom since Hank died. We got along, for the most part, but when we disagreed it could get loud. I explained what I had seen in Wendy's room after visiting Abel. She shrugged and put her glasses on, getting back to her paper work. "She's a junkie, Alexis. What did you expect?"

"She had to get it from somewhere, mother. I don't think any of her dealers would be stupid enough to bring her anything. Not after what Jax did to that Nord." I started pacing back and forth, hoping the movement would help burn off some of the anger. "Mom, she needs help, not a needle."

"Help? What are you, some social worker? She's not coming near that little boy. Not after what she did. She almost killed him." Mom was getting heated again so I shook my head quickly.

"That's not what I'm saying. She's not coming near Abel. Ever. That still doesn't mean she needs to die, Mom. She needs to recover. You could have killed her." I said, trying to get her to understand. There was no love lost between Wendy and I, even before she almost killed Abel. Still, I didn't believe in what Mom had done. I couldn't agree with killing someone in cold blood, even if she just gave her the means.

"You sound like another doctor I know." She spat. I hated that she thought I should be offended to hear that I sounded like Tara. Mom could hold a grudge like no other.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." I took a deep breath and let my shoulders fall as I let it out. "Look, Mom. I'm going to be leaving in a couple weeks, once Abel is home and settled. I know having me at home is only adding to your stress and I doubt Clay is that happy about having me around. Tara needs some help cleaning out the rest of her Dad's place. I'm going to stay there until I go back."

"Lexie." She was probably going to try and talk me out of it, but I was already out of the garage and walking back towards the Mustang. I noticed Happy's bike parked in line and bit my lip, coming to a stop about halfway between the car and the clubhouse. I knew there was a pretty good chance that he was going to be busy, either with club stuff or a croweater. Still, I wanted to talk to him.

I walked inside the clubhouse and saw the double doors of the chapel closed. In a way, it was a relief. I wasn't honestly sure how I would cope with finding him occupied in some other fashion. The prospect gave me a small wave, no doubt wondering whether or not he should bring up the night before. I walked around the bar and grabbed a bottle of water, still feeling some effects of last night's activities. Half-sack joined me at the pool table as I racked the balls.

"Are you sure you want to embarrass yourself?" I asked with a smirk as he picked up a cue stick. He chuckled and motioned towards the table. "No, no. Ladies first."

"You're funny." He mumbled, walking over to line up his shot to break. I smirked and stood to the side of the table, watching his form and sizing up the competition. The balls went spinning in every direction with a loud CRACK. I blinked a couple times, surprised by the nice break and the two solids he sunk in the process, followed by the poor shot he left me with on his follow-up. "Go ahead, princess."

"Don't let my brother hear you call me that. He claimed all rights to that nickname for me when I was a toddler." I said, lining up my shot. I glanced over and caught him taking a peek at my ass. Typical. I took my shot, barely able to get a ball in the side pocket. He gave me a polite golf clap and I laughed. The kid was funny, I just wasn't sure if it was in a funny way or an odd way yet.

"You gonna let him beat you, princess?" Jax asked, walking over to the table after church adjourned. I laughed and shook my head before popping the cue ball up over the eight ball and sinking my second to last stripe. Jax chuckled and lit a cigarette with a nod. "Yeah, that's more like my sister. You come to see me?"

"No, I came to talk to Mom and then I just started a game." I knew he wouldn't buy that. He smirked and nodded, blowing smoke out of his nostrils. "I'm sure you aren't too upset. Didn't you have a visitor earlier?"

"Touché." He nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking over to the bar. I noticed him blow a croweater off and couldn't help feeling proud. As far as I knew, he and Tara weren't together yet but he was showing signs of wanting to do things right. I let myself start to wonder if Happy was doing the same thing and scratched my next shot. Half-sack seemed shocked. He took the opportunity and sank the eight ball, ending the game in his favor. I congratulated him with a friendly hug.

"Looking for somebody?" Happy's voice asked from the open door across from the gym. I snapped my mouth shut, embarrassed that he had caught me. He inclined his head and closed the book he was reading, setting it down on the nightstand. I pushed the door nearly closed behind me, leaving it just barely open to keep myself in check.

"Thank you for the ride last night." I said, trying to ignore the way he was still sitting on the bed, his legs stretched out in front of his bare chest that was backed against the wall. "I know I can be a pain when I'm drunk."

"That's nothing new." He shrugged it off and I decided to leave the subject alone. He stood up and I couldn't help noticing the way his jeans fell down just past the top of his hips. I drug my eyes back up to his, noticing his smirk on my way up. "See something you like?"

I stepped forward and put my palm flat on the right side of his chest. His skin quivered for a split second. He didn't move. He stood still, just letting me look over the intricate ink on his skin and the muscles that rippled underneath. I definitely had a type. I liked tall, muscular guys with tattoos. My hand was warming, along with every other part of my body. Happy looked me right in the eyes, as if he was seeing right through all of my fears and hesitations.

"Happy have you. Oh. Shit. I, uh, sorry." Half-sack left the doorway as quickly as he entered it. Happy caught my wrist as I was bringing it back down to my side.

"I've got to get going. I'm staying with Tara for the rest of my visit. It's a long story." I said, my heart still recovering from the racing feeling it had before the prospect walked in. Happy clenched his jaw and I knew the poor kid was probably going to wish he wasn't in the wrong place at the wrong time. Personally, I was a little thankful he'd interrupted us. Drunk or not, I heard what he'd told me in the Cutlass. It wasn't going to be easy for him when I left. I didn't want to make that even harder, for either of us.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N This chapter sets up quite a few things that will be in motion during the next chapter and chapters to come. Again, I thank you all very much for the reviews and hope you continue to like it enough to review, follow and like. You all rock :) Now:::::**

Chapter 10

I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't help wishing it was real. I was back in New Orleans with Hank, just like our honeymoon. He had the same farmer's tan, the kind of tan you get from staying in the sun wearing a t-shirt all the time, and the bright smile that I had fallen in love with so quickly. There was nothing out of place, no detail left out. Even the tattoos on his arms and back looked as real as everything else. It always amused me that his mother tolerated his various tattoos but never my one. Under any other circumstances, I would have enjoyed the dream but that was the problem. I knew it was a dream from the second I saw him.

"Do you know what I want, Lex? More than anything?" I cherished hearing his voice calling me by that name. He was the only one that ever got away with it. I ran my hand over his cleanly shaven face. He hated that he could never grow much of a beard. "I want you to be happy, Lex. No matter what that looks like in the future. If you want a dog, we'll get five. If you want kids we'll have ten. As long as you're happy, then I can't ask for anything else."

"You're gone, Hank. What am I supposed to do without you?" I looked into his pale green eyes, wishing I could just stay in the dream with him and not have to deal with reality. He nodded and put his hand on top of mine, only I couldn't feel it.

"I just want you to be happy, Lex." He smiled and that was the last of the dream I could remember. I woke up feeling drained and unrested. The sheets were thrown every which way and the pillowcase was damp with tears. I rolled over onto my back and took a deep breath, trying to recover. I heard movement outside in the hallway and considered pretending to be asleep and staying in the bed to sulk. Instead, I pulled on some gym shorts and walked out into the hallway.

"Morning." Tara said, walking past me quickly. I grunted and followed her into the kitchen where she looked at me over her cup of coffee. "Didn't sleep well?"

"Shit. I'm sorry if I woke you up, Tara. I don't know why I'm having dreams about him again. They stopped for a while." I said, feeling guilty for costing her precious sleep. She shook her head and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"You don't need to apologize. I still have nightmares that Josh is going to find me. You can't help your dreams, Lexie." She finished her coffee and rinsed the mug out in the sink before putting it in the dishwasher.

"It wasn't even a nightmare though. It was our honeymoon." I said, feeling defeated. Tara frowned and paused at the end of the counter. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Just when I think I might be able to move on one day."

"You will, Lexie. Just don't rush it. You know, dreaming about him may not mean that you shouldn't move on. Maybe it's your mind trying to give you closure." Tara picked up her bag and brought the strap onto her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm running late for work."

"No, no, it's fine. I may see you when I stop by to see Abel later." I said, giving her a wave as she headed towards the door. Once she left, I found myself feeling a little nervous. I couldn't put my finger on why though. I had been to Tara's house plenty of times, both when we were younger and since coming back to Charming. It was in a safe part of town, not that there were many unsafe parts aside from out towards the trailers the Nords stayed in. Something definitely had me on edge though. I checked all the doors and went down the hall to shower, hoping to wash the feeling away.

"Hey, where's Tara?" Jax asked as I opened the front door with my hair still dripping. I had heard his motorcycle pulling up and rushed to get out of the shower. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed that it was Jax.

"She's at work. Looking for some morning action?" I asked with a wink. He rolled his eyes and walked inside. I noticed he wasn't glancing around or checking the place out. Obviously he had been there recently. "Is everything okay?"

"What? Yeah, yeah it's fine. I was just around the corner. Thought she might need a ride or something." Jax said, trying to play it off. I laughed and he sighed, sliding his forearms over the countertop. "I went to go see Abel and had some blood on my kutte and jacket. You would think she didn't know anything about the club."

"Jax. Knowing about the club and wanting to have it right in your face is completely different, especially when you've been away from it for a while. You could have at least changed before you went over there." I said, not surprised by Tara's reaction. Not only could the club's way of life be overwhelming at times, it had to be a little upsetting for him to come to her work place like that.

"It was a hard night, princess. I just wanted to see the kid. Make sure he was okay." Jax said dropping his head and staring at the counter. I sighed and swung my hip into him, earning myself a dark glare. I gave him a Teller smile and leaned back against the counter he was leaning on.

"Jax, it's Tara. She knows the club but that doesn't mean she doesn't need some time to adjust to it again. If you really want to be with her, then you'll make it work. Just be sure before you start something, if you haven't already. You have to be in it 100 percent." I said, hoping he would actually listen. I loved my brother but I knew he could be a total playboy and I didn't want to see he or Tara get hurt. He nodded and turned around, leaning back against the counter beside me.

"What's it going to take to get you to stay, Lexie?" He looked over at me as I took a deep, shoulder raising breath and held it in for a minute. "Charming isn't the same without you, Lexie."

"Jax, I have a home in Georgia. I can't just pick up and move." I said, trying to convince myself of the same thing.

"No, Lexie. You have a house in Georgia. It's different. Home is where your family is." Jax pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Just think about it. Oh, and you're coming to Fun Town with us tomorrow."

"Fun Town? They still have that?" I asked with a laugh. We never missed a Fun Town when we were growing up. I distinctly remembered getting kicked out on several occasions. We always snuck back in though.

"Yeah, of course they do. Opie should be bringing Donna and the kids so you can meet them." Jax said, walking slowly towards the front door.

"Oh, that should go over like a lead balloon. You know Donna never liked me." I said with a laugh. I didn't really have any hard feelings towards her but she never liked that Opie and I remained friends after we broke up. We weren't even together for six months and it was a stupid high school fling but she never trusted me around him because of it. "I'll go. I don't know when I'll be around for another one."

"Good, I'll see you there." He said with a smile before jogging out to his bike. I loved seeing my brother happy. Every time I talked to him on the phone the last few years, he's sounded stressed; like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. I found myself scanning the road and yard, still unable to shake the uneasy feeling I had. After failing to find anything out of place, I went back inside and locked the door before going back to the bathroom to dry my hair.

I headed to the hospital with the windows down in the Mustang and my hair blowing in the wind. The weather couldn't have been better. It was sunny and warm but there wasn't any suffocating, sticky humidity like there was in Georgia. It was no wonder why there were so many motorcycle clubs in California and up and down the West Coast. The weather was perfect for it. I remembered Dad telling me about the weather in Vietnam and how every day he just wanted to be on the beach and out of the jungle. From the stories he told me, he was a real hippie back in his younger years. I wondered if Jax would have been the same way if he wasn't in the club.

"Lexie, I thought we might see you today." Abel's attending physician said as I walked into his room. He was getting bigger every day and was starting to make facial expressions and eye contact. I smiled down at him as she wrapped him in a blanket. "He's doing great. We were actually able to decrease his oxygen this morning."

"That's great." I said, taking him into my arms to hold him for a couple minutes. "Is there any estimate on when he might be going home?"

"Well, if things keep going this well, I wouldn't rule next week out." She said, signing something off in his chart.

"Did you hear that, Abel? You may be getting to come home soon." I said softly. He yawned and started to close his eyes. "Well, hopefully he'll be a little more excited by then."

"Well, he did just eat and take a bath." The doctor said with a laugh. I smirked and laid him down in his little bed. "Dr. Grant, do you mind if I ask you something personal?"

"I may but you can ask and we'll see." I said with a shrug. She smiled lightly and nodded her head.

"I understand you are here for your nephew and your family. Tara told me that you were planning on going back to Atlanta sometime after Abel goes home, is that right?" I nodded, wondering where she was going with her questioning. "I understand that Saint Thomas is no Emory but we could really use a surgical intern. I just wanted to put that bug in your ear."

"I appreciate that. I've considered moving back but I have a house outside of Atlanta and everything." I wasn't really sure what the everything was. All I actually had was the house and Hank's family.

"Well, I will let you visit with Abel. It was good seeing you, Dr. Grant." She left the room and closed the door quietly behind her. I took a deep breath and sat down in the chair next to Abel's bed. He was already sound asleep.

"What do you think, buddy? It's not like I have a job to go back to. Plus, you're here." I said quietly as I gently ran my finger over his hand. "We'll just see how it goes. Okay?"

I stayed in the room with Abel for about an hour, just talking things through with him. He was a great listener and it really helped to talk things over out loud, even if he was just a baby. I left the room when the nurses came in to check on him, not wanting to get in their way. In the mood to clear the air, I headed down to Wendy's room to finally have a talk about what she had done. She was watching television when I walked into the room.

"Your Mom already made it pretty clear what you all think of me." She said. Her words were strong but her voice wavered. I nodded and closed the door behind me to give us some privacy. "Come to try and finish me off?"

"No. I came to tell you that you will not see your son. You won't come back to my brother's house when you're discharged. You won't have anything more to do with my family. I warned you, Wendy. The only reason I'm not rearranging your face is because I've realized that you do more damage to yourself than I could ever do to you." I kept my voice calm and even which only seemed to unnerve her more.

"He's my son, Alexis. You can't keep him from me." Wendy said, pushing herself to sit up straight in the bed. I nodded and closed the blinds before walking over to the side of her bed. I grabbed one of her IV lines and held it up to her.

"Do you know what just a little pocket of air in this line would do? First, it would roll through your veins, causing it to feel like your body was on fire. Then, in a couple minutes, it would reach your heart and that would be it. There would be no coming back from it. No one to pull you back from the edge. You would just be gone." I was exaggerating almost everything I was telling her, but she didn't know that. Her eyes were the size of saucers as I twisted the hose around my finger. "This is a chance for you to start over, Wendy. Go get sober, make something of your life. Build a life for yourself, Wendy."

"Alexis, please." Wendy's heart rate starting rising. I could see it on the monitor. I dropped the hose and cracked my neck.

"Don't waste your chance, Wendy. Not everyone gets second chances." She dropped her head and I could see tears falling down her cheeks. I nodded and opened the blinds back. "Do yourself and your son a favor and listen to me. I won't be this nice next time."

I left her room with mixed emotions. Part of me wanted to go back in there and choke the life out of her while another part of me wanted her to get her shit together, as long as it was away from Charming. It hit me on the way to the parking lot that I couldn't be there for Abel if I was on the other side of the country. What kind of aunt would I be if I just left as soon as he got home? My head started to spin. I wasn't any better than Wendy if I abandoned him. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I buckled into the driver's seat.

I went back to Tara's after driving around for a little while, trying to decide what to do. I didn't have any answers by the time I pulled into the driveway but I was tired of driving around aimlessly. I started cleaning the kitchen and then worked on my laundry. Cleaning let me focus on the task at hand instead of everything else going on. It had always been a type of escape for me. When Tara got home, her eyes went wide at the progress I had made.

"Sorry, I may have gotten a little hyper-focused." I said, looking around the living room. Her dad's boxes were still there but they were stacked neatly in a corner and I had labeled them as best I could. Tara hung her jacket in the closet and shook her head.

"If this is you hyper-focused, you don't ever need to apologize for it. Are you sure you have to go back to Atlanta? I've never seen this place so clean." Tara said with a laugh as she toed off her shoes and set them by the door. I laughed and ran my hand over the back of my neck. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I went to see Abel today and his doctor was talking to me about St Thomas needing a surgical intern. It just got me thinking, you know? I know there are other hospitals but before she said anything I kind of saw moving back to Charming as the end of my career." I said, sitting down on the couch, feeling exhausted after I finally stopped moving. Tara nodded and sat down next to me, obviously just as tired as I was.

"The nice thing about smaller hospitals is less competition and more time to study and everything. The bad thing is you aren't going to see the same type of cases that you probably do at Emory." Tara said, staring up at the ceiling.

"Saint Thomas is here though." She rolled her head to the left and looked at me for a minute before nodding.

"Look, I would love to have you back in Charming and I think you would be great asset for the hospital. I just want to make sure you make that decision for you." Tara said with a small frown. I nodded and yawned. Tara laughed and nudged me with her elbow. "Do you want some pizza?"

"Is that a rhetorical question? Of course I do." I said, grabbing my phone to make an order. We spent the rest of the night watching home improvement shows and eating pizza. We were cleaning up the pizza boxes when I remembered Fun Town. "Tell me you don't work tomorrow."

"No, I'm off. Why?" She asked, eyeing me curiously. I sighed and rubbed my eyes to stay awake long enough to beg her to come with me. She didn't seem to convinced.

"Come on, Tara. Jax will be there." I said, fluttering my eyelashes at her. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Fine, but you have to promise to have fun." She said, looping her arm around mine. We made our way down the hallway while I promised to have fun and keep my mom in check. "Good luck with that one. Goodnight, Lexie."

"Night, Knowles." I said, splitting off and going into the guest room. I stripped quickly and got into the bed, looking forward to Fun Town with my family and best friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"You look great." Tara said as ran my fingers through my hair, breaking up the curls so they seemed less stiff and more natural. I shook my head and looked down at my cropped, band t-shirt and white shorts. Ever since coming back to Charming, I had started dressing more like I did before I left. I felt more comfortable than I did in the more "dressy" clothes that I wore in Atlanta. Tara was wearing dark jeans and an olive green shirt with her hair pulled back into a high pony-tail. Neither one of us saw any point in dressing up for a day at Fun Town.

"You're ridiculous. Are we taking your car or mine?" I realized the Mustang wasn't actually mine but I did like it, a lot. Tara shrugged and grabbed her phone and bag. "Well, we can take the Mustang. Give the old Cutlass a day off."

"Hey, the Cutlass is just fine. We'll take your car though. It's easier to park." Tara said, giving me a playful glare. I slid into the driver's seat and started it quickly, unable to hide my smile when the engine roared to life. I checked the mirrors and noticed a silver sedan driving past the house slowly. It gave me the same uneasy family that I had the day before. Tara got in the car after winning the battle with the front door's deadbolt. "What?"

"Do you know anyone that drives a silver sedan?" I asked, backing out of the driveway quickly and going in the opposite direction as the sedan. It also happened to be the opposite direction of Fun Town.

"I mean, a lot of people do, Lexie. You've been around the club too much." Tara said with a little laugh. I forced a half smile and nodded my head a little. She had a point about the club being vigilant and sometimes a little paranoid but it didn't make me any less uneasy. I kept checking the mirrors for anyone following us while I drove a round about way to Fun Town. "Lexie, relax. Nothing is going to happen, it's Fun Town. The whole town and the whole club is going to be there."

"Alright," I paused and took a deep breath. "Okay, you're right." Tara smiled brightly pointed out a parking spot beside a white Lexus. I parked the car and felt the excitement start to build up. It was silly, for an adult to be that excited about a carnival but there were so many memories I had made with my family and friends there. I couldn't help but be excited.

"Ladies." Jax said with a smile and a hug for each of us. I noticed the way he gravitated towards Tara and tried to hide my smile. I didn't want to force them together. I just wanted to let it happen naturally and gawking at them wasn't exactly natural.

"Hey, big turn out." I said, looking around the crowd of people at the rides, game booths and concessions. Jax nodded with a little smirk. I rolled my eyes and shot him a bird. He probably thought I was looking for somebody. I wasn't though. I was just looking around. If I happened to see him over by the concessions with TIg then it was just a coincidence. "So, you all don't wake up for work but you all wake up for Fun Town?"

"Priorities, Lexie. Priorities." Jax said with a laugh. He looked over at Tara and I saw his eyes light up. "Why don't we go on the Ferris Wheel? For old times?"

"I came here with Lexie, Jax. Stop trying to steal her date." Tara said with a light giggle. I could tell she wanted to go with him. I shook my head and waved them away.

"Go, go. Who am I to stand in the way of nostalgia? I want a corn dog anyways." I said, jerking my thumb towards the concession stands. Jax chuckled and I scoffed, realizing what he'd done. "Really mature, Jackson. I'm talking about the food you dirty pig."

"Yeah, of course you are." Jax said before he put his arm around Tara's shoulders and led her away. It was high school all over again. I smiled and watched them leave for a couple seconds before going over to get my corn dog.

"Alexis! Look at you pretending to have fun." Tig said, calling me over after I got my food. I shot him a bird on my way to him. "As long as you don't tell your big brother, baby."

"I'm glad that someone your age can still have dreams, Trager. Even if they are unattainable." I said before taking a bite off the corn dog. I noticed him watching me closely and kicked the back of his thigh as I chewed my food. "You are ridiculous! Pervert."

"I've been called worse, baby." He said, wagging his brow at me. I shook my head and took another bite, this time from the side so he couldn't make it awkward. Happy was sitting on one of the table tops and I caught him drop his head and start shaking it with a smile. Tig excused himself to go talk to Mom and Clay after he saw them come out of a photo booth. I walked over to Happy and nudged his boot with sandal.

"What's so funny?" I asked. He looked up at me with a smirk. His eyes were hidden behind his dark sunglasses, as usual, but I had a feeling they were looking me up and down. I knew him.

"That corn dog good, Lexie?" He chuckled when I gave him a dark glare. "Go ahead and eat. I've seen you with the real thing, remember? Food doesn't really do it for me."

"Keep on, Happy. I've never understood what you men get so excited about. Bananas, hot dogs, Popsicles, you would think that you want us to bite it off." I said, keeping my voice low to avoid upsetting any parents around. Happy moved forward quickly and grabbed the back of my thighs, yanking me towards him. I was so caught off guard that I dropped my corn dog. "You asshole."

"I'll get you another one." His voice was especially husky at I couldn't help but pull my bottom lip in. His hands were still on the backs of my bare thighs, holding me in place between his knees. "I like your hair like that."

"Thank you." I said, hearing the tremble in my own voice. It was ridiculous. We'd been here numerous times before, there was no reason to be nervous. Happy stood up and moved his hands to my hips, his thumbs resting on the exposed portion of my stomach. He looked up at me and I could almost see his eyes from the way the sun was hitting his sunglasses.

"This still your only tattoo?" He asked, his thumb running over the bottom part of the tree. I felt my muscle spasm under his touch.

"It is." I managed to say. Happy had done the tattoo all those years ago and I just didn't feel the need or desire to get any others yet. That tattoo was all about family and heritage and I never would have trusted anyone else to tattoo it on me. I remembered it taking hours because of the size and detail. He was patient with me though. He said it took a lot of tolerance to get tattooed on the ribs, especially for a first tattoo.

"Good." He said with a nod. I swallowed down all the nerves building up inside of me and gave him a smile. He shook his head and moved his hands up to just above my hips and onto my bare stomach. "You're still beautiful, Lexie. Even more than before."

"Oh? What was wrong with me before?" I asked, my entire body warming up a few degrees. He shook his head and held me a little tighter.

"Absolutely nothing, Alexis." Happy said, shaking his head slowly. I smiled and brought my hands up to his shoulders, resting them on the leather of his kutte. "Why don't we go ride somewhere?"

"Okay." I said, feeling butterflies dancing in my stomach. He nodded and started leading me towards the parking lot, one hand wrapped around me and resting on my hip. We were almost to his motorcycle when his phone started ringing. I stopped beside him and took a deep breath, starting to talk myself down. I knew he was getting called away. I could see it in tight way he was holding the toothpick between his teeth.

"Sorry, Alexis." He said, pulling his bottom lip in and shaking his head. I shrugged and stood up on my toes, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Go, Hap. I get it." The sad part was, I did understand. Dad was always leaving at a moment's notice for club business. It was the nature of the club. Things happened. I watched him disappear into the parking lot before I turned back and went back to Fun Town. Tara was walking my way with an annoyed expression. "I take it Jax had to leave to?"

"Of course he did. Were you with Happy?" She asked, a smile creeping over her lips. I laughed and nodded.

"It wasn't exactly how I planned on having fun at Fun Town. We didn't get anywhere, just flirting. Seems like something keeps pulling us apart." I said with a shrug. First it was Half-sack and now it was some other club business. "It's probably better that way."

"Maybe. Let's go eat cotton candy and ride the bumper cars." Tara said, taking my hand and leading me back into the carnival. Her enthusiasm was contagious and I found myself refocused on Fun Town. We rode the bumper cars until our sides hurt from laughing and crashing into one another so much. After that, we rode the little roller coaster and played some carnival games before finally calling it a night.

"Donna?" Tara said, tapping a brunette on the shoulder. She turned around, taking a step back in the process. The look of suspicion gave way to surprise after a few seconds. She stepped forwards and gave Tara a friendly hug while a young boy and girl looked on. I assumed they were she and Opie's kids. When she finished her hug with Tara, she gave me a hug. It didn't last anywhere near as long as her hug with Tara and it felt stiff and unnatural. I gave her a genuine smile. I had no ill feelings towards Donna.

"I didn't know you were back in Charming, Tara. Jax mentioned you being back Lexie. Did you come back together?" Donna said, looking from me to Tara. I shook my head but didn't explain any further. Tara glanced at me out of the corner of her eye before shaking her head.

"No, I came back a few months ago. I've just been keeping to myself and trying to clean up my Dad's place. Are these your kids? They're so grown up." Tara said, changing the subject. Donna smiled and looked back at the kids proudly before introducing them to us. They were both polite but I could tell the girl, Ellie was a little shy.

"It was good seeing both of you but I need to get them home and in the bed." Donna said, earning some groans from both kids. I chuckled, remembering the way I always hated having a bedtime and then eventually a curfew. Now, it felt like a gift to go to sleep early sometimes.

"I'm glad we ran in to you, Donna. You have a beautiful family." I told her, meaning every word. She glanced over at me and hesitated before smiling. It seemed genuine enough. Tara and I parted ways from Donna and the kids at the parking lot. They went left while we headed to the right to get to the Mustang.

"No really, did you see the way that clown was looking at you? It's probably a good thing he was wearing oversized pants." Tara said, still laughing and holding her sides. I rolled my eyes and turned out of the parking lot.

"Shit. See what you did? I went the wrong way." I said, laughing as well. Tara laughed it off and told me to turn around at the next driveway. "Wait, do you see that?"

"What?" Tara sat up and stopped laughing, looking down the road where I thought I had seen something move in the woods. I shook my head and unbuckled the seatbelt. "What are you doing?"

"Going to see what it was." I said, grabbing my gun from the center console. She groaned and undid her seat belt, stepping out of the car as well. "Stay behind me. I can't believe you aren't carrying."

"It's Fun Town, Lexie." I ignored her excuse and moved towards the wood line where I could have sworn I saw something move. Tara stayed a few steps behind me and used her phone as a flashlight. "Oh my god."

"Call an ambulance." I said. Tara already had her phone to her ear as I slid down the short embankment to get to the young girl. Her clothes were torn and bloodied and she had brushing on her face, arms and around the base of her neck. "Sweetheart, I'm Alexis. I'm a doctor and I'm going to help you. Can you tell me your name?"

She tried to speak but her voice was too faint. I explained that I was going to look her over. She looked terrified and I had a horrible feeling about what happened. I had seen victims come into the ER with similar injuries. They were normally older than her though. She couldn't have been older than twelve or thirteen. Tara brought me the first aid kit that I kept in the car and started helping me with the larger lacerations. I heard the sirens approaching and looked down at the young girl, giving her a reassuring smile.

"You're going to be okay, sweetheart. They're going to take good care of you." I said as the ambulance pulled up. Her eyes widened and she grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. I looked at Tara for some help.

"I'll follow you with the Mustang, Lexie. I can call and let the attending know what they're getting." I nodded and gave the girl a smile.

"I'm going to stay with you, okay? I'm going to be right beside you." I said. She nodded and loosened her grip a little. I handed the keys over to Tara as the medics loaded the girl onto a stretcher. "What fucking animal would do this to a kid?"

"I don't know. Hopefully it isn't what we think." She said, ever the optimist. I shook my head. There was no doubt the girl had been raped. I wished we had just left a little earlier. I hated knowing we were just a little too late.

"Dr. Grant, it sounds like this girl got lucky. If you and Dr. Knowles didn't get there when you did, she could have bled out before anyone found her." Dr. Hoyt said, walking to the nurse's station. I sighed and shook my head. "Hey, there's no way you could have known this was going on. You saved this girl."

"Yeah, I know. I just wish she didn't have to go through that. It's tough enough on adults. She's just a kid." Dealing with the physical damage from assault was a cake walk compared to the emotional damage. It was tough for me to accept that counseling and talking could only do so much. In the end, the victims had to find strength within themselves.

"She is but she has a strong support system. Her family will make sure she gets everything she needs to come back from this." Dr. Hoyt said, patting my shoulder. Tara tried to hide a yawn behind her hand.

"Hey, I know you've got a shift in the morning. Why don't you take the Mustang and go home? I'll get a ride in a little while." I offered, extending the keys toward her. She hesitated before taking them with a frown. "It's fine. I'm going to go check in on Abel."

"Tell him I say hi." Tara gave me a quick hug before waving to Dr. Hoyt and leaving through the double employees only door. I was just telling Dr. Hoyt goodbye when I saw Mom walking down the hall with the Oswald's. Elliot and his wife both looked exhausted and terrified. The pieces were starting to fall into place with what the doctor said about the girl getting all the help she needs.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I asked, giving her a hug as the Oswald's rushed toward Dr. Hoyt. She explained how they had been looking for the girl all over Fun Town. The hospital called Elliot when we got off the ambulance and they confirmed it was her. I heard Mrs. Oswald cry out and felt my heart break for her. I wasn't a mother but I could imagine the pain she felt was unlike any other. Mom always told me her number one job was to make sure I was safe, everything else came after that, even my happiness.

"Are you okay, baby?" Mom asked, pushing some loose hairs out of my face. I blinked a couple times, wondering why she would ask about me.

"Mom, I'm fine. Unfortunately she isn't the first victim I've seen. She isn't even the youngest." It was a sad truth. Mom nodded and looked over to Elliot who was leaning back against the wall, his hand over his mouth.

"If you need anything, all you have to do is ask, Elliot." I was sure Dr. Hoyt didn't pick up on the underlying meaning to Mom's offer. She wasn't offering to make a casserole or walk the dogs while they were at the hospital like normal family friends. She was offering the club's assistance. She was offering justice outside of the law. I couldn't help but feel a little proud because I knew that any other club member or old lady standing in Mom's shoes would have offered the same thing. The club may be involved in a lot of questionable activities and the town may not always agree with them but the Sons of Anarchy looked out for Charming. They would never let some monster get away with assaulting anyone, especially a child. Not in Charming.

"Mom, do you mind giving me a ride to Tara's? I was going to go tell Abel goodnight and then head out." I said, motioning down the hall.

"Sure. I'm going to call Clay. I'll meet you outside. Give that baby my love." She said, phone out in her hand. I knew whatever she had to say to Clay was important if she was passing up a chance to see her grandson. I was turning it over in my head as I walked down the hall.

"Shit, sorry." I said, bumping into someone while I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. He was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt which made me think he was probably going to give me some hell about watching where I was going. It would be my luck.

"No problem. No problem at all." He smiled and moved his hands to his belt. That solved my worry about giving a doctor a bad first impression in the off chance that I stayed in Charming. That move screamed, 'I'm a cop'. "I'm pretty sure visiting hours are over."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just looking in on my nephew really quick." I explained before nodding and taking a couple steps backwards. Something was off about his smile. It was too friendly; he smiled like he'd known me for years. I turned around and quickened my pace down the hall. I didn't want to be forced into anymore awkward conversation.

Abel was sleeping peacefully, without his oxygen. It was such a relief to see him doing well, especially after finding that girl. It was a little silver lining to the darkness that had brought me to St. Thomas that night. He was getting better and I knew that he would be coming soon. He would finally be with his family. All that was really left was deciding if I was going to be around as part of that family or not. I was starting to wonder how I could go anywhere else.

 **A/N: Who did Lexie run into in the hospital? I'm sure most of you have a good idea who it could be. Just in case you haven't noticed, I'm not following the show directly. I mean really, what would fanfiction be without taking some creative liberties? With that being said, I am going to include most if not all major events. They may just be tweaked or seen from a different perspective like the FunTown tragedy. Anyways, let me know what you think, please! I really love the reviews but I've noticed a few readers that had been reviewing are missing. COME BACK, JACK! COME BACK! (Titanic reference, I'm a nerd.)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I have good news and bad news. Bad news first, I'm home sick for the day. I hate being sick. Good news, I was able to finish this chapter and I'm currently working on the next which will be pretty packed full of decisions and action. Oh and also, I was BLOWN AWAY by all the reviews and support after posting this last chapter. Thank you so, so much! It really got my creative juices flowing! Okay, while you all read I'm going to fix some tea and then get back to writing. Enjoy!**

Chapter 12

"I don't know if I'm ever going back to Fun Town." I said, stirring my coffee absent mindedly. Jax took a drink of his own coffee before shaking his head. After a long couple days, the club had finally found the monster that assaulted Tristan. It had taken a while to get any information from the poor girl. She had refused to talk to the doctors, police and even her parents. She would only talk to me. As soon as she told me what happened, I told Jax. Hale threatened me with obstruction of justice but the Oswald's told him I was one of her doctors so it was privileged information. He came back with a warrant about an hour later but by then the club was already way ahead of him.

"I don't know if there will be another Fun Town. Clay wanted me to let you know to keep your eyes open. The ATF is in town trying to get anything they can on the club. Just stay away from them." Jax put his coffee down and put his forearms on the bar. I didn't like the idea of the feds being in town. The club had always had a sort of understanding with local law enforcement. That same understanding wasn't true for the feds.

"I think I may have run in to one of them at the hospital. At first I thought he was just an off duty cop. Now that you mention feds it makes more sense." I said, biting my bottom lip. Jax turned to look at me quickly.

"The hospital? Why were they there?" I shook my head. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Just that he thought visiting hours were over. He seemed a little off." I answered, remembering the smile he'd given me. Jax stood up as Clay and other members starting filing into the clubhouse.

"Stay away from them, Lexie. One starts bothering you, call me." Jax said, walking off towards the chapel. Happy hung back as everyone went in and took their seats.

"Who's bothering you, Alexis?" He asked, searching my eyes for an answer. I couldn't help feeling good about him showing some concern for me.

"No one is bothering me. I just ran into one of the Feds at the hospital." I explained. He seemed to consider my answer for a minute before nodding and walking off into the chapel without any further comment. Church didn't even last long enough for me to finish my coffee. I watched them file out, no one looking too happy.

"Jax?" I asked, grabbing my bag and following him outside. He sighed and turned back around. I knew he was about to cancel our plans to go looking for some furniture for Abel.

"I'm sorry, princess. Bobby and I are going down to Nevada. We can go when I get back or just use that stuff in storage." He said, flipping his hat around backwards. He handed me a key to the storage building and walked away. I rolled my eyes.

"Be careful." I told him as I crossed the lot to my car. Abel was coming home soon and enough time had been wasted when it came to setting up the nursery. I called Mom on the way to the storage unit to get the gate code. She seemed preoccupied and told me to just take anything I needed. After seeing the mess in the storage locker, I decided to tackle It the following day and spent the rest of the day looking for jobs in both Atlanta and around Charming.

I was in a pretty foul mood the next afternoon thanks to a late start and a phone call with Emory's HR department. Everything I needed from storage was in the back and I had to move a lot of boxes out of the way before I could even get to it, so it didn't help lift my mood. After about an hour of pulling things out and stuffing the car full with a high chair, a crib mattress and some smaller things, I took a break and sat down on one of the file boxes inside the building. I propped my feet up on another one until I noticed Dad's name scrawled on the top of it.

I opened the box and started looking through the different motorcycle manuals and papers. I found an envelope with pictures and started tearing up at all the memories. There were mostly pictures from when Mom and Dad got married, them back during their early years but there were also some pictures of the family. I found one where Dad had Jax on his shoulders and me in his arms. I set the picture aside so I could take it and get a duplicate made. The rest of the box was receipts for parts for the pan-head and a binder. I picked up the binder and opened it, curiosity getting the better of me.

I was about half way through the manuscript Dad had titled "The Life and Death of Sam Crow" when I noticed the sun had gone down and the security lights were turning on. I had gotten so lost in the manuscript that I could almost hear Dad reading the words to me. His words. Every paragraph, every page opened my eyes to a side of Dad, a side of the club that I never knew. It was hard to put it down but I knew I needed to get going. I closed the binder and put it underneath the passenger seat to finish reading later.

"Mom? I didn't expect you to be here." I said, opening Jax's front door with the key he'd duplicated for me. She had on rubber cleaning gloves and I could smell cleaning chemicals.

"Well, I was planning on being at home with my ankles behind my head but duty calls." I cringed at the thought of her being in that position and set the high chair down.

"Mom, I could have gone the rest of my life without that visual. Thanks. I thought it was just Bobby and Jax going to Nevada." I said, leading her out to the car. She explained that they had run into some problems with the Mayans and Clay had called for the rest of the club to go down for a patch over. "Uncle Jury's crew never really seemed Samcro."

"Well, things change, baby. Where did you find this?" She held up the picture I had taken from Dad's box. I balanced a box of toys on my hip and shrugged.

"A box of Dad's old junk, bike manuals and stuff. There was an envelope of pictures in there." I explained, watching her study the picture. I knew she missed Dad sometimes but it was pretty rare for her to show it. I remember asking Jax about how fast she and Clay had gotten together after Dad's accident. Jax had guessed that it was the only way she could deal with Dad being gone. I tried to accept that answer but sometimes it still bothered me. I tried not to think about it.

"This was the day your Dad got out of Stockton. He was so happy to see his babies. You cried all day until he held you. Just like that, you were all smiles and giggles. Little brat." Mom said with a sad sounding laugh. I smiled and put the picture in my bag after she handed it back to me. I promised her I would put the original back in storage after I had a copy made. "They're your memories to, baby. Oh and give this to your friend."

"A gun?" I said, surprised by the small Beretta that she had pulled out of her bag. "Mom, why would Tara need a Beretta with the numbers filed?"

"You don't know about the restraining order? She filed one right before she moved. Seems like it was more than just cleaning up her daddy's mess that brought her home." Mom spat. I could tell she wanted to say something along the lines of 'I told you so'.

"Mom, we all have a crazy ex-boyfriend or two. How did you find out about that anyways?" I asked, annoyed that she was still trying to undermine and discredit Tara. She never liked Tara, even before she left. I asked if she felt threatened by her one time and thought she was going to slap me right across the face.

"I have my ways, Alexis. I talked to her today when I went to see Abel. Let her know where Jax stands right now. He's got enough on his plate. He doesn't need another little voice in his head." Mom said, wiping the crib mattress down. I closed my eyes, trying to keep from letting her know just how angry she was making me.

"Mom, just stay out of it. Jax is a grown man. He can take care of his own love life." I felt a little hypocritical since I was on him about not messing stuff up. Still, I was just making sure he was being a decent human being. Mom was trying to play interference.

"When you're a mother, you'll understand." Mom said. I rolled my eyes. She'd been saying the same thing for years. It was always her go to line when I questioned anything she did when it came to me or Jax. I pulled my ringing phone out of my pocket and hesitated at the name on the screen. Mom gave me a curious look.

"I need to take this." I said, stepping down the hall. I had little doubt that she was listening in, so I didn't use any names. "Hey. I didn't expect to hear from you for a couple days."

"Why?" His voice was husky and tired sounding. I thought the answer would be obvious and tried to find a way to answer without giving Mom any information.

"I just thought you would be busy with other things." I hated even talking to him about it. I couldn't expect him not to be with any of the sweetbutts or prostitutes, we weren't together. Still I didn't like to think about him being with someone else. I knew it wasn't fair though. I was the one pumping the brakes on whatever we could have had going on.

"It doesn't take long if you don't try and make them happy." I closed my eyes, wishing he had just kept that information to himself. I kept telling myself I wasn't jealous. I had nothing to be jealous about. "Has that fed been bothering you anymore?"

"What? No. I haven't been anywhere but the clubhouse, storage and now Jax's. I'll let you get back to your night though." I ended the call and squeezed the phone tightly in my hand. I absolutely hated the idea of him being with those women.

"Everything okay?" Mom asked, looking up at me innocently. My phone started ringing again. I declined the call and slid the phone into my pocket. Mom raised her brow. I knew she'd heard most of the conversation. Even if she didn't know who I was talking to, she probably picked up on the subject.

"Fine. I'm going to Tara's." I was already headed for the door and didn't plan on waiting for her to respond. I had been in a bad mood all day and I knew if she pushed me to far, my Teller temper would flare up. The last thing I wanted to do was get into an argument with her. After storming inside the house, I said goodnight to Tara in passing and got into the bed with Dad's manuscript. I planned on reading a few more pages and then going to sleep. Instead, I finished it around the time the sun was coming up. If I had not been so exhausted, what I read would have kept me up all day and night.

The front door slamming closed woke me up late in the afternoon. I felt like a dump truck ran right over me. My eyes were bloodshot from reading all night and my arms were sore and heavy as lead from moving everything in and out of storage. I didn't bother changing out of my pajama shorts and tank-top before going out into the living room to see what was wrong. Tara had a large envelope in one hand and her mouth covered with the other.

"What's in the envelope?" I asked, my voice croaky. She closed her eyes and handed it over to me without a word. I opened it slowly and dumped the contents out into my hand. There were several, large pictures of my brother's naked ass with some blonde girl's ankles on his shoulders. I stopped after the second picture and closed the envelope, tossing it on the couch.

"I'm sorry, Tara." I hated having to apologize for Jax, especially this early on. Tara shook her head and waved her hand over the envelope.

"I didn't want to see that but it isn't even the pictures that I'm worried about. He's here, Lexie. Josh sent me those pictures. He called me a couple days ago and now he's here." She said, her voice brittle. I blinked a couple times as things started to fall into place.

"Why didn't you tell me he called? Tara, do you have a picture of him?" She groaned and pulled out her phone. It took a minute for her to get that far back in her pictures but she finally stopped on one and turned the screen towards me. I felt like I was going to be sick. It was the same fed that had been at the hospital. The same one that looked at me like he'd known me for years. "He was at the hospital the night we brought Tristan Oswald in. I ran into him on my way to see Abel."

"He's been here that long?" Her hand was shaking as she took her phone back. I took a deep breath and walked to the front door. Tara watched me as I locked the door and then went around and started shutting blinds and curtains. "That car you saw. Do you think that was him?"

"Probably." I said, checking the back door in the kitchen. Tara sat down on the couch and seemed paralyzed. I finished closing all of the blinds and curtains throughout the house before coming back to find her in the exact same spot. "Look, we'll let Jax know when he gets back. Until then we stick together."

"Lexie, you know what your brother will do." Tara said, shaking her head. I started to wonder if Mom wasn't right, at least about one thing.

"Tara, whether it was consciously or not, you knew what Jax would do when you came back to Charming. You knew if Josh followed you here, Jax wouldn't hesitate to protect you, no matter what. I'm not blaming you, okay? It's home, it's supposed to be safe." I knew what I was telling her didn't come as a surprise but that didn't mean it was something she wanted to hear. She sighed and stood up, starting to pace the room back and forth.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right. I spent so long looking over my shoulder in Chicago. I just wanted to be able to have a normal life again." Tara said after a few minutes.

"Nothing about life in Charming is normal, Tara. Not for us anyways." I understood where she was coming from. It was part of the reason I was considering staying. I wanted to have a normal life again. I wanted to just be a doctor and a daughter and a sister. I didn't want to be the hero's widow. We both had things we were running from.

"Can we talk about something else?" Tara sounded defeated. I let out a low laugh and thought about the conversation I had with Happy the night before. I had ignored two subsequent calls from him after I abruptly hung up.

"Or we could eat ice cream, watch a sappy movie and not talk." I offered, not wanting to think about my problems either. Tara hurried into the kitchen and reappeared a moment later with a tub of ice cream and two spoons. I laughed and grabbed the television remote. I double checked all of the windows and doors one more time before we called it a night.

"What?" I said, rolling over and answering my phone after the third call. I had not been asleep, I just didn't want to talk.

"What? You really have the jealous old lady thing down, Lexie. Funny since you aren't my old lady." I considered just ending the call and turning my phone off. He was obviously drunk.

"No, I'm not your old lady. It's after two in the morning, Happy. I don't feel like fighting with you." I could hear music in the background and could almost see the barely dressed women and the men all over them. "Shouldn't you be out at the party having fun?"

"Why? So you can throw a fit again. Damnit, Alexis. I'd rather be with you than these used up leeches." I closed my eyes, lost at what to say to that. I had feelings for him, I wouldn't deny that. I just wasn't ready for another relationship yet. I didn't want to rush myself and mess up something that could work because I wasn't ready.

"Happy, I'm going to sleep." I said softly. I listened to his sigh and wished things could be more simple. I wished I could just give him what he wanted, what I wanted.

"Goodnight, Lexie." He said after a minute. I frowned and ended the call. There was little hope in me going to sleep, so I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Not ten minutes later, I heard a car door close. I sat straight up in bed and slowed my breathing to listen for any other movement outside. I thought I heard something moving in the bushes and got out of the bed quickly. I grabbed my gun and my phone, redialing Happy's number quickly. It was the fastest way to call someone.

"What?" He snapped angrily. I moved towards the window and pressed my back against the wall, trying to see out from behind the blinds. "Lexie?"

"Is anybody in Charming? It's a long story but I need somebody over to Tara's house. I think there's someone outside." I whispered, hearing another noise from the back of the house. I racked the slide, moving a round into the chamber of my gun and headed out into the hallway.

"Lexie, stay inside and keep that gun on you." I heard him moving around and then telling someone to call the prospect. I groaned, wishing more than just the prospect was in town. I stubbed my toe on an umbrella holder and hissed loudly. "Alexis? What happened?"

"I hurt my toe. I'm fine." I said. I wasn't sure why I was staying on the phone with him. He couldn't help but something about having him on the line made me feel better, like I wasn't alone. I moved into Tara's room. She was sound asleep. I moved back out of the bedroom quietly. I didn't want to wake her up, especially if it was nothing. "I'm going to go check outside."

"No, you aren't. Stay inside, Lexie." He said quickly. I heard a motorcycle approaching after a couple minutes and felt my heart start to slow back down to a normal pace. "You're going to be okay, girl. The prospect is staying outside until we get back tomorrow. We're not going to let anything happen to you, Alexis."

"We?" I said, trying to get my mind off of what was going on around me. I looked out of the living room window and saw Half-sack walking around the house, gun drawn.

"Yeah, we. I get back and we're going on a ride, Alexis." Happy stated. I smiled and headed back down the hall to the guest room. "Go to sleep, alright?"

"Okay. I'm sorry for being a jealous gash." I said, crawling back into the bed. His huff sounded a little like a laugh.

"No you aren't. We'll talk about it when I get back, alright?" I nodded with a yawn and then told him goodnight. I felt a little safer with the prospect outside, but I put the gun underneath my pillow all the same. What sleep I got was light. I felt like I could still hear and feel everything going on around me. When Tara's alarm clock went off, I went ahead and got out of bed to start getting ready.

"Morning." I told Tara as we met in the kitchen. She yawned while nodding a silent greeting. It didn't look like she got much more sleep than I did. "I'm going to drive you to work. I wanted to go check on Abel anyways. He should be coming home soon if he can get ride of that cold."

"Does this have anything to do with the prospect outside?" She asked, pouring coffee in a thermos. I shrugged with an innocent smile that I doubted would fool anybody. "I'm already running late, so let's go."

"Never fear, running late is my specialty." I said, shaking my keys with a grin. Tara rolled her eyes and led the way outside. The prospect was sitting on his bike at the end of the driveway.

"Are you kidding me?" I looked over to see Tara staring at the front of her car. There were red rose petals arranged in the shape of a heart on her windshield. I scoffed and wiped them away with my hand. "He was here."

"I thought I heard something. That's why he's here." I said, nodding towards Half-sack as I pulled Tara over to the mustang. Her cheeks were red and I couldn't tell if she was about to cry or if she was mad that I hadn't told her sooner. She got into the car and buckled in, not looking at or speaking to me. She still didn't say anything by the time we got to Saint Thomas and went our separate ways.

"Dr. Grant, good morning. You usually aren't here until around lunch time." Abel's doctor said as I walked into his room. I shrugged, wondering if I was really that predictable. "I'm glad you're here. I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is Abel okay?" I asked, alarms going off in my head and preparing for the worst. Her brow raised.

"Yes, Abel's great. I am actually starting his discharge tests and paperwork. I actually wanted to talk to you about the residency program again. I spoke with Margaret, one of our administrators, and I also talked to your attending at Emory." She said, catching me off guard. I blinked, unsure what was coming next. "Dr. Thompson didn't have a single bad thing to say about you except that you chose family over your position with Emory. That says a lot about your character, Dr. Grant."

"I didn't have a choice. I wasn't going to sit on the other side of the country while my family dealt with this alone." I motioned around the room defensively. She shook her head.

"I know. That's the type of doctors we want and need, Alexis. I'm rambling. Look, I spoke with Margaret and we both think that you would be a great asset to the hospital. The offer is yours for the taking. If you'd like we can set up an appointment for you to talk to Margaret and the board about compensation and everything later this week." She took a deep breath, having said everything rather quickly. I nodded slowly, taking it all in. "Just, think about it at least."

"I will. Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me." I said, shaking her hand. She smiled and looked at Abel.

"I think I have somewhat of an idea." She whispered. I looked after her for a minute as she left the room. She had just offered me a job. She offered me a way to both stay in Charming and not give up on my dreams.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This is what happens when I can't work, I write! Just another quick note about my story versus the show, the timeline is GENERALLY the same as far as seasons go. That being said, other things may happen sooner or later than they did on the show. I'm only changing it to make sense for my story, not to show disrespect for the show. I am a super-fan, just like most of you. Anyways, I just wanted to get that out real quick. Also, pay special attention to what Jax says at the end. The next chapter will elaborate on it. It's very slight but hopefully it doesn't go unnoticed. Now, onto reading :)**

Chapter 13

"Alexis Grant?" I looked around at the sound of my name. A woman with long, dirty-blonde hair and aviator sunglasses was walking over to me quickly. I looked at her dress slacks and white button-up shirt. "Agent June Stahl, ATF."

"Dr. Alexis Teller-Grant, not interested." I said, blowing off her out stretched hand. She chuckled and followed me over to my car. "Still not interested."

"You're Jax Teller's little sister, right?" She asked, a cocky grin on her face. I rolled my eyes and tossed my bag into the passenger seat.

"Please tell me that my tax dollars get me something better than that. It's common knowledge, lady." I refused to call her 'agent' or any other professional term. Her coworker was stalking my best friend and her agency was harassing my family. "You can stand here going over my family tree all you want. I have things to do."

"Like what? Find another trust-fund to marry into." I closed my eyes and told myself that shooting an agent in the parking lot of the hospital that had just offered me a job was a bad life decision. That didn't make it any easier though. I opened my eyes and refused to react. I knew that's what she wanted. I knew she wanted to get under my skin. We stared at one another for a minute before I got into the car and shifted into reverse.

"Stay out of my way." I said, revving the engine to entice her to move. She took a step back and raised her hands innocently. I scoffed. There was nothing innocent about her. I peeled out of the hospital and headed over to Jax's house to work on the nursery. Doing something else was the only thing that would keep my mind off of ways to make that bitch pay for what she'd said. Yes, Hank had a trust fund but I didn't know that when we met. I didn't even know about it until after we were engaged and his mother asked about prenuptial agreements. Hank had refused to even hear her out. In his will, he had left half of the trust fund to me and half of it to his little sister. I used my half to pay off my student-loans and paid out the mortgage for the next year. It wasn't as if I was some gold digger who used what he'd left me to fund plastic surgery and flashy cars. I didn't care about the money. I never did.

"Hey." I jumped up, a startled scream escaping me before I could cover my mouth with my hand. Jax raised his brow and waited a moment for me to calm down. "It's just me."

"Obviously I see that now." I recovered and put the last folded onesie into the top drawer. "I didn't think y'all would be home until later."

"Y'all? You've been in Georgia too long." He teased before leaning against the door. "A few of us left this morning. Tig and Juice are going to be there for a couple more days. Who was outside of Tara's house last night? Were they there for you or her?"

"You should really talk to Tara, Jax." I didn't like the idea of sharing her secret, even if it was with my brother who was second in command of a motorcycle club that sent a prospect to watch over us last night. I thought about the picture that Josh had sent Tara. "Oh and there may be some other stuff you two need to talk about."

"Fine, I'll talk to her about other stuff. You're going to tell me about last night though. Everything you know." He said. I had wanted to tell him about Dad's manuscript but it was obviously going to have to wait. I sighed and told him everything I knew about Josh Kohn. Jax became more and more angry as I went into how he'd hurt Tara back in Chicago and then followed her back to Charming. "That's the fed you saw at Saint Thomas?"

"Yeah. I didn't know that before you left though." I said quickly, keeping his anger directed away from me. He shook his head and spun around.

"Jax, what are you doing?" I said, jogging down the hall to catch up with him. He turned back and caught my upper arm.

"You're going to the clubhouse and you aren't leaving there without a patched member. I'm going to fix this." He pulled me out of the house and slammed the door closed behind him. I jerked my arm away.

"Jackson, your son is about to come home from the hospital, finally. Don't you dare do anything to keep from being here for that." I warned him, yanking the Mustang's door open. He just nodded as he backed his bike into the street. We started both of our engines at nearly the same time. I was surprised his neighbor's car alarms didn't go off. Then again, they probably weren't set. Charming didn't have much in the way of burglaries or break in's, especially not when your neighbor was a SAMCRO officer.

"Hey, it's about time you get back." I said, giving Chibs a quick hug when he met me at my car. He chuckled and I rolled my eyes. "Sorry to drag you away from all the prostitutes."

"Aye, can't have too much of a good thing. Jackie Boy said not ta let you leave without on of us going with ya. What'd you do?" He asked with a smirk. I shook my head.

"It wasn't me. So, every body is back but Tig and Juice?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I noticed Happy's bike wasn't in the line with the others and I couldn't help feeling a little let down.

"Yeah. Happy went ta see his Ma and tha other two are tying things up in Nevada." He didn't seem to pick up on anything suspicious about my question. I nodded and strummed my thumb on the top of the car's roof for a minute. Chibs plucked his joint out from between his lips and looked over at me. "What are ya thinking about, sweetheart?"

"I may need to go to Saint Thomas. Could you follow me over there?" I asked, digging my phone out of my bag. I read over a message I had missed from Happy, telling me that he was going to Bakersfield just like Chibs had said. Chibs nodded and took another hit from his joint. "Thanks, I'll let you know in a few minutes."

"Dr. Robbins?" I asked, hoping I wasn't catching her at a bad time. "This is Alexis Grant. I was wondering if your administrator had any appointments for this afternoon."

"Dr. Grant, I'm delighted you called. Let me check. Give me just a minute." I waited with butterflies in my stomach. I knew it was last minute but I didn't want to give myself too much time to think it over. "Dr. Grant, she just had a cancellation. Do you think you could be here in an hour and a half?"

"Yes. Absolutely. Thank you so much for helping me, Dr. Robbins." I felt giddy until I realized I was wearing a t-shirt and faded blue jeans. I looked over at Chibs and fluttered my eyelashes. "I need to go to Tara's and change. Then I need to go to St Thomas."

"Aye, I don't have anything better to do. Let's go." He said, tossing the last bit of his joint onto the ground and putting it out with the toe of his boot. I smiled brightly and got into the car. My mind was made up. As long as I could make enough to survive and get the experience I needed, I was going to stay in Charming.

The meeting went better than I could have expected. The package they were offering me was more than I even thought they were capable of. I would be able to pick up where I left off at Emory, so I wouldn't have to restart my residency year. It was a definite bonus of choosing a smaller hospital. I promised to have my credentials, references and certifications sent over by the end of the week. Margaret felt confident and told me to plan on starting next month.

"Alexis!" I stopped and let Tara catch up with me in the hallway. "You told Jax about Josh?"

"Tara, I had to. I'm sorry." I said, biting my bottom lip. She sighed and pulled me into an empty waiting room.

"Lexie, he went to the barber shop and threw him out of a window." My eyebrows shot up. I knew Jax was angry but I never thought he would attack Kohn in the middle of town. "The only reason Jax isn't in jail is because Freddy and everyone else in the shop said it was self defense."

"Is he okay?" I asked, concerned what could have the police believing his self defense claim. He always carried his combat knife and at least one gun so the self defense plea was a hard pill for the cops to swallow.

"Who, Jax?" I narrowed my eyes at Tara, wondering why she would think I cared about Kohn. "He's okay. Josh stabbed his thigh with scissors. He's on his way here to get it stitched up and dressed."

"That son of a bitch. Where is he?" I was pissed that Kohn had stabbed my brother. He may have been my big brother but I was just as protective over him as he was of me. Tara shook her head.

"Hale is trying to find him to haul him in for violating the restraining order. I was taking care of this Lexie. The legal way." Tara said, glancing towards the door to make sure no one was passing by to overhear us. I rolled my eyes.

"Obviously the legal way doesn't work that well if they haven't found him. It took Jax less than two hours to find him and teach him a lesson." I said proudly. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "I need to get back to the clubhouse. I'm sorry I had to tell Jax."

"It's fine. I shouldn't have made you keep it from him after we knew Josh was back. I'll see you tonight." She gave me a quick hug before checking her pager and hurrying down the hall. I would need to get used to having a pager again. We only used those when the internet crippled our tablets at Emory.

"Everything okay, lass?" Chibs asked, looking up from his phone. I nodded with a wide smile. I didn't want to let the cat out of the bag just yet. My smile must have been contagious because he was smiling when I saw him getting on his bike from my rearview mirror. I spent the rest of the day at the clubhouse until Jax rolled in with Tara on the back of his bike. They shared a few heated words in the parking lot and then she and I headed back to her house with the prospect riding behind us.

"I'm really sorry." I said, feeling guilty for causing problems between she and Jax. Tara shook her head.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I should have told him. I didn't say anything about the pictures. I guess I should have but I didn't feel like it was my place to. We aren't together." She said, sounding defeated. I frowned and took her hand.

"Give it some time." Her words hit me pretty hard. It wasn't my place to get mad at Happy either. We weren't together. We weren't together because of me. "On the bright side, I'm staying in Charming. You're the first one to know, so don't say anything."

"What! You couldn't have told me that earlier? All this doom and gloom today and you've been holding that up your sleeve?" Tara went on about how I should have told her as soon as Dr. Robbins mentioned anything to me that morning. I was glad to have her smiling and talking again. The whole energy of the night changed after I told her. It was almost back to normal. It was almost like the old days.

The next day, I went to the garage to tell Mom the good news. She was loading her car with industrial cleaner and storming around when I got there. I decided to postpone telling her until she was in a better mood. When I asked if she needed help and what happened, all she did was yell at me to watch the garage while she went to Jax's. Luckily, Hale had caught up with Kohn and he was on some plane back to Chicago so, the prospect didn't have to follow a very pissed off Gemma over to Jax's house. She hated having a tail almost as much as I did.

I used to work in the garage office over the summer during high school so it wasn't too big of a deal for me to keep it running while she was gone. I put my stuff in the office and then walked into the garage to see what the guys were up to. I was surprised to see Happy's bike sitting in the second garage bay.

"Morning." He said gruffly. I turned to see him walking into the garage with a cup of coffee in his hand. "May have to take that ride tomorrow. I blew a gasket outside of town."

"It happens." I said with a shrug. He nodded and started getting tools and parts together. I sat on the tailgate of the pick-up truck in the first bay, dangling my legs off the end as he worked on his Dyna. He stripped down to his jeans and sleeveless undershirt, entrusting me with his prized kutte that was draped across my lap. I watched him work for a while, mesmerized by his swift and deliberate movements. It was almost like watching a seasoned surgeon or a pianist playing their favorite piece. No movement was wasted and it all seemed to come to him so naturally.

"Lexie. Stop staring." He said, despite never facing me to catch me in the act. I ignored him and kept watching until he eventually stopped what he was doing and turned around. I smirked, amused that he had caught me.

"I'm staying." I had planned out this elaborate dialogue about my reasons and how I didn't expect anything from him, but it all fell to the wayside. I just wanted him to know and it came out short and simple. "I'm starting at Saint Thomas next month. All I have to do is go back to Atlanta and tie up some loose ends. Then I'll be back for good."

He walked over to me, wiping what oil and grease he could get off of his hands onto a rag. I stopped swinging my feet when he stood in front of me, his hands on my thighs. I sat up straight so that we were on the same eye level. The energy between us was electrifying. I knew it had been building ever since I came back when Abel was born.

"So, what now?" He asked, moving his thumbs in circles over my skin, mere inches away from the bottom of my shorts. I bit my bottom lip, unable to stop my body from responding to him. "You move back and I go NOMAD or transfer to SAMCRO?"

"I'm not asking you to do that. I just wanted you to know." I was losing the ability to string words together as he pushed my knees apart and positioned himself between them. He moved his hands to my hips and studied my face carefully.

"I already went NOMAD this morning. Need to be able to be close to my Ma." He said, squeezing my hips a little. I felt my heart speed up.

"I didn't knew." I managed to whisper. He nodded, eyes locked onto mine. It was getting hard to breath. I had to keep my mind on it-in and out, in and out.

"No one does. I'm letting them know after church later." His voice was low and velvety smooth. I dropped my eyes a little, overwhelmed by his proximity and the way he was making me feel. He moved one hand up to my cheek and then ran it back into my hair. "I'm not able to be your friend, Lexie. I never have been."

"I know." I brought my eyes up to his and moved quickly, refusing to let myself second think it. Heat radiated throughout my body as soon as our lips touched. Happy waited a moment before pulling me towards him. My body was barely making any contact with the truck anymore. His right hand was tangled into my hair that I had let fall down my back in simple waves that morning. I put a hand on his chest and pushed him back with the slightest amount of pressure. "I have to take this slow, Happy."

"We've been taking it slow, Alexis." I nodded, kissing him quickly on the lips. He tried to deepen the kiss but I pulled back.

"I know. I just don't want to rush back into bed with you, Happy. I want this time to mean something, to be something." I said, wishing I could find a better way to explain it. His shoulders dropped and his hands moved back down to my thighs.

"It's always meant something, Lexie. I hear you, okay? If slow is what you need then we'll go slow." He said, running his rough hands over my soft skin. I nodded slowly. "Oh and I didn't party in Vegas like you think I did. Unless you want to be jealous over a blow job then stop being mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." I was relieved to hear he hadn't had sex with any of the gashes down there, but even the idea of a blow job made my skin prickle with anger. He laughed and kissed my lips.

"Stop scowling then. They ain't here, girl." He said, giving my thighs one more squeeze before going back to his bike. I smoothed the kutte on my lap back out and started swinging my legs again. I never honestly considered having a relationship with a Son. I'd seen plenty; Tara and Jax, Donna and Opie, Bobby and his ex, Otto and Luann, Mom and Clay, I just never really thought about myself being with a member. I had seen how complicated it could be. I had to remind myself that Happy and I weren't even there yet. On top of that, every relationship was different.

"Hap! We're ready to go." Clay called out as he walked out of the clubhouse. Happy nodded and started putting his tools away. I wasn't sure what they were headed into but it seemed important by the way everyone was hurrying to the bikes.

"I've got this. Go ahead and go." I told him, taking a wrench out of his hands. He looked down at me for a second and I could tell he was trying to decide whether to kiss me or not. I shook my head and nodded towards the bikes that were starting up. "You need to get rolling."

He left without another word. I wondered if he was able to fix everything on the bike before he left until I realized I was being paranoid. He'd been riding for years. He knew that bike better than anyone else and I knew he wouldn't jeopardize it for anything. I reminded myself that he wasn't Hank. Just because something happened to Hank didn't mean something was going to happen to Happy. I finished cleaning up the tools and took a deep breath, feeling relieved. After that, I started working on organizing the office.

"Lexie! Are you still at the clubhouse?" I could tell Jax was calling me from the road and every hair on my arm stood straight up. Something was wrong.

"Yeah, I am. What's wrong?" I started pacing back and forth as he told me about the Irish man that had been shot. I groaned. "Jax, I don't have any medical supplies here. I need to go to Tara's and get stuff."

"Okay, just go and make it quick. We'll be at the clubhouse in an hour." The wind almost drowned him out. I knew they had to be flying down the highway. I called Tara and asked if she could meet me back at the clubhouse with some antibiotics and a few other medications. She didn't ask any questions and promised to be there.

I didn't even bother turning the Mustang off when I got to Tara's. I remembered putting her extra medical bag in the towel closet in the hall, so it wasn't going to take me long. I should have noticed that the deadbolt wasn't locked, but my mind was completely focused on the task at hand. I had to get the bag and get back to the clubhouse.

"You aren't Tara." I skidded to a halt and looked back to see Josh Kohn standing behind me in the hallway. He must have come out of Tara's room. I swallowed hard, wishing I had brought my bag inside with me. Instead, my phone and gun were both outside in the Mustang. I took a couple steps back, keeping my eyes on him.

"No, I'm not Tara. She's safe at the clubhouse with my brother and the rest of the guys." I said, hoping that would put him off whatever plan he'd had for Tara. He laughed and shook his head.

"Your brother and his buddies aren't at the clubhouse, Alexis. I watched them leave earlier. You know, I didn't think you were like them, not really. I thought you were smarter than that. A doctor at Emory? Why would you be all over one of those wrench wielding monkeys? Isn't that bald one a little old for you?" It made my skin crawl to know that he'd been watching me or at least the club.

"You don't want to do this. You're in enough trouble in Chicago. If you leave now, maybe you can save your career. Just a slap on the wrist." I tried playing to his logical side. Obviously I overestimated his capacity to be logical.

"I'm not leaving without my Tara. If I have to go through your brother then I will." He spat. I clenched my teeth together and felt my fists balling up tightly. "Why don't we go sit down and wait for Tara?"

"Fuck you." I spat, striking out at him as he tried to grab my arm. My fist connected with his jaw but he was able to grab me and take away a lot of the force behind it. I was throwing my elbows and kicking back at him but he was obviously trained in detaining hostile people. Everything went fuzzy after his hand covered my mouth. I was in and out of it as he tied me to a kitchen chair. I got glimpses of it happening but I couldn't feel anything. "He'll kill you."

"What was that? Who's going to kill me? Your brother or your boyfriend?" He asked, grabbing my face and squeezing my cheeks tightly. "I don't see either of them here. It's just you and me, doc."

"Pussy. You aren't even man enough to do anything. You drug me cause you can't hurt me. No wonder Tara left you. You aren't man enough to protect a woman." By the sound of it, the strike to my face should have hurt, a lot. The effects of the drug still had my body feeling fuzzy though. I shook my head and laughed. I knew if I pissed him off, he would stay with me and not go looking for Tara. Eventually, he'd make a mistake. I would insult him and he would hit me. It went on like that for a while until I heard what sounded like a motorcycle. It was a little hard to tell through the ringing in my ears.

"Lexie?" It was Jax. Josh put the cloth over my mouth again, keeping me from yelling out for him. I felt the world spinning and then everything went black again. When I finally managed to open my eyes a little, Jax's face was hovering over me. I groaned and tried to tell him to watch out. He shook his head and shushed me. "We took care of him, Lexie. You're okay."

"Okay." I managed to say before my eyes fell shut again. I felt myself being picked up and carried somewhere but couldn't manage to look and see where. Jax told me I was okay. I just had to believe him.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Again, blown away by reviews, THANK YOU. I probably won't update for a few days as we're going on a ride up through the mountains for a couple days. That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I struggled with it a little but hopefully you aren't too disappointed.**

Chapter 14

The more I came around from whatever chloroform-like drug Kohn used on me, the more I wanted to go back under it. My cheeks, my temples, my eyes, my ears, everything hurt tremendously. When I was finally able to open my eyes fully, I was startled by the unfamiliar surroundings. It took me a minute to realize that I was in one of the spare dorms at the clubhouse. Tara was by my side quickly, comforting me and telling me I was going to be okay.

"You're safe, Lexie. There's some bleeding and swelling but nothing seems broken. You may have a mild concussion but we'll get you through this, okay?" Tara said, taking my hand. I just nodded, my throat too sore from screaming to really talk. She carefully moved a strand of hair out of my face before she sat back down in the chair beside the bed. "I'm so sorry, Alexis. He wasn't even there for you."

"Not your fault." I whispered, the effort hurting my throat. She frowned and bowed her head. I heard the door open and looked up to see Jax walking inside the small room. He put his hand on Tara's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She put her hand on top of his for a second before standing up and walking towards he door.

"I'm going to go get you some water so you can take your anti-biotic." She explained before disappearing behind the door she pulled closed. I looked and Jax and saw pity in his eyes. I looked away, hating that look. I knew what I was doing when I was egging Kohn on. Sure, it hurt and the situation sucked but I could have made it easier on myself.

"He's dead." Jax said simply. I looked over at him, unsurprised by his announcement. I knew what the outcome would be as soon as I heard his voice back at Tara's. "I should have sent somebody with you. This is on me, princess."

"Can everyone stop taking the blame? He did this. Not you. Not Tara. Kohn did." I choked out. It was so painful to speak but I was tired of the revolving blame. Jax sighed and nodded his head. I knew he was just pacifying me. He didn't believe me, not completely at least.

"Happy still hasn't pulled out of his killer mentality. He's been like stone ever since we found the Mustang in front of Tara's. I've seen him do jobs before but this was different. He had me nervous." Jax shuddered. I blinked, unaware that anyone had come with Jax to save me. He must have seen the confusion written all over my face. "I tried calling you when we got to the clubhouse. When that didn't work, Happy said he would try. He let it ring maybe three times and then barreled out of the clubhouse. I had to redline all of the gears on my bike to catch up with him."

"Where is he?" I rasped. Jax motioned back towards the hall, letting me know that he was somewhere in the clubhouse.

"He said to use his room for you and then hit the bar. I don't think he's moved since we got back last night. He's just been sitting there." Jax explained. I hated the thought of kicking Happy out of his dorm. "There's more going on between you two than just hooking up, isn't there?"

"We haven't hooked up in years, Jax. I care about him." I said, shrugging my shoulder. I hissed at the pain it sent up my neck. Jax looked surprised. "What?"

"So when you rode with him that night?" He let his question drop off, allowing me to fill in the blanks.

"We rode, we stopped, we talked, we rode back." I said, my throat feeling like someone shoved a hot coal down my throat. Jax laughed a little and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Never saw Happy as the ride and talk kind. He better treat you right, Alexis. He does anything to hurt you and I'll kill him, brother or not." Jax said, suddenly serious. I gave him a little nod. "Do you want me to go get him?"

"Please." I whispered, nodding my head slightly. That small amount of movement sent daggers through my head. Jax nodded and placed a carefully planned kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Alexis. Don't scare me like that again."

Tara returned with some water and a few pills almost as soon as Jax left the room. I noticed her hands shaking when she offered the water and medicine to me. After a couple, slow drinks of water, my throat was feeling well enough to speak.

"Tara, please don't think that you could have done anything to stop or change this. This was just me being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm glad it was me and not you." My voice was still scratchy but I knew she heard me. She dropped her head and stood at the foot of the bed.

"You're like my little sister, Lexie. I hate that I didn't do something about Josh sooner. Whether you want to admit it or not, it is my fault. He never would have come to Charming if I wasn't here." Tara said, her voice wavering.

"Tara, we can play cause and effect all day, okay? It's over now. You're safe. I'm safe and may get a couple cool battle scars. It's okay." I offered her a smile which she returned hesitantly. She started checking my temperature and blood pressure without another word.

Tara was checking underneath some bandages when Happy walked in. Our eyes met and I felt like my throat was closing in again. His eyes weren't dark and cold like I had expected them to be. Instead, they were a warm shade of dark chocolate and I could see a very rare softness to his expression. Whatever stone demeanor Jax had seen was gone.

"Happy, are you sure you don't want something for your knuckles?" Tara asked, looking up at him from my bedside. I saw a flash of anger cross his face before he tore his eyes from mine.

"Why? Do you have another stalker ex-boyfriend that's going to come after Alexis?" He growled. I saw Tara's lip quiver and she looked away from him quickly.

"Don't be an ass. It isn't her fault." The water had helped my throat but it was still uncomfortable to speak. Happy looked at me and the anger seemed to fade quickly. He pushed his mint-flavored toothpick to the other side of his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I need to go check on the bleeding Irish-man in the other room." Tara said, getting up hastily. I caught her hand and she looked down at me with tears in her eyes.

"Thank you for fixing me up, Tara. You're the better surgeon today." I said, forcing myself to smile through the pain. She managed a light laugh before sidestepping Happy and walking out of the room. "Really, Happy?"

"If she had said something to Jax about that piece of shit earlier, this never would have happened." Happy said, pointing in the direction Tara had left. I shook my head, sending pain from one side to another.

"You don't know that." I argued. He grunted and sat down beside me on the mattress. I gave him my hand and laced my fingers in with his larger, ringed fingers. "Thank you for saving me."

"Wasn't just me." He said humbly. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand softly and we fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. He finally turned to look at me and shook his head. "I thought we were going to be too late."

"You weren't too late though." I said, scooting my body closer to him. "Do you think we can talk about some stuff?"

"Now, Lexie?" He asked, a groan to his voice. I lifted my shoulder and he rolled his eyes. "What are we talking about?"

"What happened earlier. Well, I guess yesterday." He nodded and I realized that the conversation was going to be a lot harder than I thought. "I like you, Happy. I always have. I like kissing you and being with you. I care about you."

"You may as well get to the but, Lexie." His voice was low and tense. I felt horrible for being so wishy-washy with him.

"I want to be with you, Hap. I just need to take things slow. I haven't given myself time to grieve." I felt tears building up in my eyes. It felt like I was breaking up with him, even though we'd never moved on to anything official. He surprised me by carefully wiping a tear off of my cheek.

"Lexie, I'm not rushing you. You kissed me, remember?" He gave me a playful smile. "I'm not going anywhere, Lexie. We can go as slow or fast as you want."

After three days of resting and healing, my bruising looked worse than ever but I was feeling better. The swelling around my eyes and the damage to my throat was all but healed and I wasn't feeling any lasting effects from the assault. Unfortunately I had to stay cooped up in Tara's house in case anyone saw the bruising and started asking questions. I watched my fill of bad reality television and cleaned everything I could. By the end of the third day, I was going stir crazy.

"Hey, sweetheart. You look horrible." Mom said, walking inside with what looked like a picnic basket. I tossed the door shut and followed her into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?"

"About the same as a few hours ago when you called and asked me how I was feeling." I quipped back. She raised her brow at me just like she did when I was a kid. I sighed and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Sorry, I'm just getting cabin fever."

"Well, I brought you some home cooked food and a couple magazines." She said, opening the basket. I could smell the Shepherd's Pie before I even saw it. It was what she always made me when I had to stay home sick from school. "You know Abel is coming home Friday."

"Tara told me this morning." I said, grabbing a couple bowls and forks. "Are you planning a party?"

"You make me sound predictable." Mom scoffed. I laughed and served myself a generous helping of Shepherd's Pie. I turned to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. "You're Irish through and through."

"I get it from you and Dad. Do you want something to drink? We have beer, juice and water." I said, realizing we were reverting back to college living. She shook her head and I noticed she wasn't eating either. I pulled up a barstool and sat at the counter. "What's bothering you?"

"It's almost time for you to go back to Georgia. I'm going to miss having you around." She said, busying herself with unloading the rest of the basket of food and magazines. I twisted my mouth while swallowing down a sip of beer.

"I should have told you this sooner but then all this happened." I gestured towards my face. She was looking at me intently, hanging on to every word. "I accepted a position at Saint Thomas."

"What? Why would you do that, Alexis? You have a wonderful job at one of the top hospitals in the country. You can't throw that away, baby." It wasn't the reaction I was expecting and it caught me off guard. Of all people, I expected Mom to be the happiest that I was staying in Charming. I frowned and stabbed at my food with the fork.

"I don't have a job at Emory anymore. I haven't had one since I flew back here when Abel was born. I thought you would be happy." I felt deflated and started second guessing all of the decisions I had made leading up to that very moment.

"Sweetheart, why didn't you say anything?" Mom asked, making me feel even worse about the situation. I shrugged and took another drink of beer.

"I didn't say I lost my job because I didn't want anybody to see me as a failure. I wanted some time to decide if I was going to stay here or pick up the pieces back in Atlanta. I don't have anything left there, Mom. Hank is gone, my job is gone, seeing his family or our friends hurts too much and I can't even sleep in our room. I feel like myself here." The sadness that I had kept pushed down for the last couple weeks started to bubble over. I wanted to be in Charming for my family but I also wanted to escape Atlanta. I wanted to escape all the memories.

"Alexis." Mom took my hand and tears started falling down my cheeks. "You are not a failure. You don't ever have to worry about anyone thinking that, especially me. I'm happy you're going to be here, Lexie. I just don't want you to think it's going to stop the pain, baby. Losing someone you love hurts, especially someone you thought you'd grow old with."

"When does it stop hurting then because I can't keep dealing with the pain. I can make it through the days fine but it just bottles up and hits me at night. I can't keep doing this." I said, close to sobbing. Mom pulled me off the stool and into her arms for a motherly hug.

"It takes time, baby. That's the only thing that's going to make it hurt any less. Time and allowing yourself to mourn. You've been going, going, going ever since he passed away. You need to slow down, Alexis. Take time just for yourself." She rubbed my back and my crying started to taper off. I rested my head on her shoulder and took a couple deep breaths.

"I have to go pack everything up before I start at Saint Thomas next month. Being assaulted wasn't really part of my timeline." Sadness was giving way to frustration as I thought about everything I needed to do. Mom was probably right about taking time for myself and slowing down. I just didn't have the time to spare to do it.

"Well, let's get Abel settled in and then I'll go to Atlanta with you. Help you pack things up." Mom said, pushing me away so she could look me in the eyes. "You're going to get through this, Alexis. You're strong. You are a Teller after all."

"Thank you, Mom." I took one more deep breath and pulled myself together. "This Shepherd's Pie is really good, by the way."

"I know." She said with a wink. I laughed and ate a little more before washing the plate and putting the leftovers in the refrigerator. We talked a little about Abel's party and Wendy's departure to rehab before Mom said she had to go. "I need to finish some things at the garage."

"Is there any way I can come with you? I need to get out of the house." The garage wasn't exactly a vacation but at least it would be a change of scenery. Besides a couple visits from Jax and one from Happy, I hadn't seen anyone besides Tara and Mom since I left the clubhouse. She agreed to take me along as long as I hurried up and changed. I made it quick and just threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"What's his problem?" I asked as Clay stormed across the lot. Juice and Tig had just arrived in a moving truck, along with a young girl I didn't know. She dressed the part of a sweetbutt so I didn't pay her much attention. Mom joined me in the doorway and watched as Clay confronted Juice. He was yelling and pointing towards the girl angrily. I noticed Mom tense beside me and put two and two together.

"That son of a bitch." Mom scoffed before walking back to her desk. I watched the scene unfolding on the lot for another minute before turning to Mom.

"I never did understand how you dealt with it. The cheating." I said openly. She looked up at me with wide, angry eyes. "I'm just calling it what it is."

"Whatever happens on the road is their business. It's supposed to stay on the road though. It's not supposed to follow you home." She spat. I shook my head. It still didn't make any sense. Changes in geography didn't change your relationship status; at least it wasn't supposed to.

"STD's and kids don't exactly 'stay on the road', Mom. Besides, shouldn't you expect the same respect you show him?" I asked, growing agitated. She sighed and motioned towards the door.

"I need to finish this, Lexie. I don't need you lecturing me on relationships." She said, I rolled my eyes and decided not to escalate the argument any further. I walked out towards the clubhouse, making sure to keep my oversized sunglasses on to cover the worst of the bruising. I smiled when I saw Happy walking towards me.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" He asked, stopping in front of me and leaving barely any space between us. I explained how tired I was of being cooped up and riding over with Mom after lunch. He nodded, his eyes following a very sullen looking Juice.

"Clay ripped him a new one for bringing a harlot here. I guess he's mad the road didn't stay in place." I said sarcastically. Happy raised his brow and looked around until he saw the girl. He nodded and then looked back at me. "Look familiar?"

"Hey, I can't control what happens on the road, Alexis. I'm not their keeper." He ran his hands down my arms and rested them on my hips. I narrowed my eyes at him, refusing to be distracted by his touch. "She's not my type, don't worry."

"Oh? What is your type, Lowman?" I tried to fight the smirk that crossed my lips. He smiled and pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes.

"Bossy, brunette, blue eyed doctors." He growled. My smirk grew into a smile as he dropped his hands from my hips. I missed his touch immediately. "When is your stuff getting here from Atlanta?"

"Mom and I are going to go get it next week sometime." I said with a shrug. He blinked and then set me with a glare. "What? I don't trust strangers to pack up my house."

"You and Gemma in Atlanta? That just sounds like trouble." He said. "Don't look all innocent, Alexis. I've known you for too long to buy that shit."

"I've calmed down a lot, Happy Lowman." He laughed and then nodded towards the garage. Mom was storming out of the office, making a beeline for Clay. "See, it's her you need to worry about."

"Nah, she's Clay's problem." He said, watching Mom yell at Clay. I tried to ignore the argument. It was nothing new for them to argue.

"Oh and what, I'm your problem?" I raised my brow and watched him grin.

"Nice try, Lexie. I'm not falling for that shit." He sighed and cracked his neck. "I'm going to Atlanta with you."

"What?" I asked. That had come straight out of left field. He shrugged and leaned back against the metal hand rail. I watched him light a cigarette before he offered me one. I hesitated but took one after a minute. He lit his zippo and let me light the cigarette off of it before sliding it into his pocket. "Why are you coming to Atlanta?"

"Because I want to." He said simply. I opened my mouth to object but couldn't find a valid reason to do so. It wasn't like I didn't like having him around and it was his choice to come, I wasn't asking him to. The biggest hurtle was going to be explaining things to Mom. She was going to have some questions and even more assumptions.

"Okay." I said, blowing out a long trail of smoke. The conversation died away as we finished our cigarettes. I stole a glance at him as the sun started setting and the last rays of light were bouncing off of his sunglasses. He was being more patient than I ever thought possible and part of me felt guilty for putting him through it. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

"Where?" He asked, looking down and over at me. I shrugged and leaned into his side. "Come on"

I took his hand as he led me towards his bike. I didn't have my helmet with me, so he handed me his while he started the bike. I tightened down the helmet strap and sat down behind him, holding on with my legs. I let my hands rest on his sides and we were off. He took a right out of the parking lot and picked up more and more speed as we got further out of town. I smiled and rested my chin on his shoulder, just enjoying the wind on my face. We rode until the sun dipped down below the horizon and the stars started shining brightly. When it started getting cooler, Happy pulled over to give me his hooded sweatshirt.

"I'm not going to lose you again, Alexis." Happy said, pushing the hood down off my head. I put my hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes.

"You aren't going to." I whispered.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I have gotten quite a few questions and requests for more Tara/Jax. I'm trying to work that in more and hope that his chapter gives you all a little more of what you wanted. That being said, it isn't the focus of the story. With the developments in this chapter, there will certainly be more interactions between Jax and Lexie but I still can't promise too much Tara/Jax. I just want to make sure it feels natural. Hopefully I'm doing an okay job of that. Anyways, you may want to get some tissues ready for this chapter. I honestly didn't realize it was so sad until I reread it. Thank you again for the reviews, more and more please :) And now::::::::**

Chapter 15

"I like that dress." Tara said as I reached down to pull on my shoes. I glanced up and gave her a smile. She had changed a couple times and finally settled on jeans and a cute shirt for Abel's party. I was wearing a knee length, royal blue shift dress and heeled sandals. "I'm really hoping Gemma doesn't make a scene tonight."

"She probably won't, it's Abel's party. Plus, Jax will be there to run interference for you." I stood up and pushed my hair behind my shoulder. Tara handed me the earrings I was planning on wearing. "Don't be nervous."

"She's not wrong to be mad at me. I should have said something about Josh. At least to Hale or Unser." Tara said, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt. I rolled my eyes and shoved the earring post through my ear. It had been a few weeks since I had worn earrings so it took a little force to get it to go through.

"I can't keep telling you it isn't your fault if you aren't going to listen." I was tired of the broken record. Tara was feeling guilty, Happy and Mom blamed her for what happened, and Jax felt the need to remind me that she never would have wanted that to happen to me. I just wanted to move on from it. I didn't see myself as the victim that everyone else did. I hoped that Abel's party would shift everyone's attention away from me. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. I'll drive." She offered. I grabbed my leather bag and followed her outside to the Cutlass. The ride over to Jax's house was fairly quiet. I was tired from a long ride with Happy last night. We rode out to the bay and watched ships roll in from a rooftop for a couple hours. Once the security guard noticed we were there, we bolted and went to a diner. Neither of us realized how long we had been there until the waitress asked if we wanted to see the breakfast menu. We didn't get back to Charming until about five in the morning.

"Can you do something about your mother? She's losing her shit about paper plates." Jax said as Tara and I walked inside. We arrived about an hour before the party was supposed to start because I knew Mom would need some supervision. I nodded and walked by him as he pulled Tara into a hug. I glanced back and saw their lips locking. They were finally to the point where they weren't hiding their relationship anymore.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I walked into the kitchen to see her slamming a lid back on a dish on the stove. "Okay, breathe. It's a welcome home party for a baby. He really isn't going to care about paper plates."

"These plates needed to be a darker blue. These look like cotton candy." She said, gesturing towards the plates angrily. They were a light, sky blue and I didn't really see a problem with it.

"Do you want me to go see if I can find some different paper plates?" I offered, hoping she would say no. I felt like it was not only a waste of time but a waste of money as well. She scoffed and I raised my brow.

"He's got enough going on without her. She's just a distraction." Mom said, looking out of the window. I caught a glimpse of Jax standing behind Tara, his arms around her and his chin resting on her shoulder.

"If he's happy, then let him be happy, Mom." I said, pouring myself a glass of water. "What did Dad want out of the club? In the beginning I mean. What was his vision?"

"What?" Mom said, turning away from the window and looking at me like I had sprouted an extra nose on my forehead. I paused for a second and repeated the question. "Well, he wanted exactly what it is. Brotherhood. Where are these questions coming from?"

"It's nothing. I was just looking through some more pictures in storage and it made me wonder." I decided to change the subject quickly. "We're flying out on Monday morning, right?"

"Yes. Are you sure it's a good idea for Happy to come with us? He's not going to be uncomfortable?" Mom asked. She was thrown off when I told her Happy was going to be coming to Atlanta with us. She wasn't blind, she knew we had feelings for each other but she still wasn't behind the idea of him helping me move back.

"It's Happy, Mom. He doesn't get uncomfortable." I said with a little laugh. It wasn't as if he didn't know that I had shared the last eight years with Hank. We were just moving some furniture, clothes and odd-n-ends. "I need to talk to Jax for a minute before everyone gets here. You're sure you don't want me to try and find different plates?"

"Go." Mom said, checking the oven. I hurried out of the kitchen before she could change her mind. When I walked outside, Jax was holding Tara's hand with a smile. She looked nervous but happy.

"Did I miss something?" I asked, leaning against the porch railing. Jax looked at Tara for a second before acknowledging me.

"Tara's going to stay here and help me with Abel." He told me. I raised my brow, not expecting that. I was happy to see them back together but it seemed like things were moving pretty quickly.

"You are more than welcome to live in my Dad's house, Lexie. At least you can stay there until you get settled and find your own place." Tara offered. I nodded slowly, still a little taken aback by the pace of their relationship. I bit my bottom lip. I envied them for being able to move forward together while I was holding Happy and I back, stuck in place.

"That sounds great." I managed finally. "Jax, can I talk to you inside? I wanted to give you something."

Jax followed me through the dining room and back to Abel's nursery. It was finally finished with white furniture and a light blue paint on the walls. There were motorcycle decorations and even a motorcycle mobile over the crib. My little nephew was in his crib, sleeping soundly as I opened my leather bag. Jax's eyes widened when I handed him the manuscript.

"Dad wrote this?" He asked as he looked over the first page. I nodded and sat down in the rocker chair. "Where did you get this?"

"Storage. It was in box with manuals and receipts. That and an envelope of pictures was in there to." I explained. I watched his jaw clench as he read the dedication to he and Thomas. "There's a lot in there that I never knew about him and the club. Just, read it when you have time, okay?"

"Yeah. I will. Thanks, Alexis." He hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head. I brushed my lips against his cheek before turning towards Abel. "I know I haven't said anything since your announcement but thank you for staying, Alexis. I know you have your own reasons but I know part of it was for me and Abel. I love you, princess."

"I love you to, Jax. Let's get back out to the party before Mom has a stroke." I said with a laugh. He smirked and put the manuscript in his bedroom before walking down the hall with me. Tara smiled when Jax rejoined her in the dining room. I watched them for a minute, the way they stood close without being all over each other, the way they just seemed happy to be around one another, it was something I wish I had. It was something I missed having with Hank.

"Where's the guest of honor?" I looked back to see Opie watching Jax and Tara from over my shoulder. I turned away to give them some privacy. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Abel's sleeping. Mom said that he was really fussy earlier." I explained, looking around the now crowded house. I hadn't realized so many people had shown up since Jax and I went to the nursery. "Where's Donna?"

"She's on her way with the kids. I just came from the clubhouse." He paused for a moment and rocked back on his heels. "So, you and Happy?"

"Are complicated. I'm better near to him but I'm still healing. Still grieving." I explained, my right had reflexively going to my left to twist my rings. They weren't there though. They were in a wooden box in my room at Tara's. I hadn't worn them in weeks but it still felt like they were right there on my finger.

"Just don't get yourself hurt, Lexie. Complicated isn't our strong suit." He said, shoving his hands in his front pockets with a shrug.

"Yeah, I know." I did know that. I knew that things could only stay the way they were for a short time. Complicated relationships were trying enough for normal couples. When you factored in one half of that couple being a club member, well, it only got more complicated. There were things I couldn't be privy to if I wasn't an old lady, even though I was the daughter of one of the First 9. Aside from being kept in the dark on some things, there were always other women looking to take your place. When you were an old lady, you gained some respect from them. Until then, you were just another obstacle.

"What's on you mind?" Mom asked, catching me off guard. I didn't want to talk about it. Talking wouldn't change anything about the situation. So, I just shook my head and plastered on a smile. "Why don't you go talk to Donna? She needs a reminder that she's part of this family. Clay said that she's pulling Opie in two different directions."

"Then Clay should talk to her. They're the only ones that know what's right for their family, Mom. She raised twins by herself for years. Can you really blame her for having some hesitations when it comes to Opie becoming active with the club again?" I watched her with her kids for a few seconds before looking over at Mom. She was scowling and obviously didn't see where I was coming from. I took a deep breath. "I'll go talk to her but not about the club."

"Fine." Mom snapped as I walked away. I ignored the bite in her voice and crossed the room to Donna.

"Hey." I said, sitting down to the right of her. She was helping the kids set up a game of Monopoly on the coffee table. "I always played as the thimble when Jax and I played Monopoly."

"I like being the puppy." The young girl said, holding the piece up to me. I nodded with a smile. Donna finished setting the game up and told the kids to play nice before she leaned back on the couch.

"They're sweet kids." I told her as they started to roll dice to see who went first. Donna let out a little laugh and shook her head, causing a piece of chin length hair to fall into her face.

"They can be. They've got Opie's wild streak though. It usually comes on when I'm exhausted and out of coffee." She said, pushing her hair back behind her ear. I felt like the conversation was already starting to die off. "Where's Happy?"

"What? Oh. He went to Bakersfield to see him Mom and then he's going to check in with some other NOMADS before we leave for Atlanta Monday." I wasn't really sure why I told her everything. She just seemed like a good listener. I felt my cheeks redden a little.

"I'm going to be honest. I was really glad to see the two of you together. I don't think I could compete with you." My eyebrows shot up, surprised she was even worried about competition. "Come on, Alexis. You barely look twenty-five and you're beautiful."

"Uh, thank you but that doesn't mean there would be any kind of competition, Donna. Trust me, I'm not a homewrecker. Besides, Opie would never do anything to hurt you, Donna. You're the mother of his children and he still looks at you the same way he did when we were kids." I said, still processing her confession of self-consciousness. I shook my head and gave her a warm smile.

The party went on for quite a while, as did most of our parties. Abel made an appearance for a little while until he started fussing. Tara and Jax disappeared to tend to him while the rest of the guests started to thin out. Opie and Donna were talking about going to the store before heading home. Eventually, Opie convinced her that he would drive the car and take the kids home and she could take the truck, go to the store and come back to help clean up like she'd wanted to. Tig dipped out just a minute or so behind them.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Tig. Those stitches need to come out." I told him. He had gotten into some kind of trouble with a very angry dog and get a bite out of his ass. Luckily I didn't have to deal with stitching him up, just taking the stitches out. The less time around Tig's ass the better. He nodded distractedly and hurried out.

"Help your mother clean up in the kitchen." It was only the third sentence Clay had even said to me that night. I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen, exactly where I was going in the first place.

"You married him why, exactly?" I asked, picking up a stack of used paper plates and shoving them into a large trash bag. Mom chuckled and I groaned. "Please don't answer that. I don't think the cake would taste as good coming up."

"Oh don't be such a child, Alexis. Oh, damn it. I forgot to get more garbage bags." She said with a frustrated slap to her thigh.

"You're getting forgetful in your old age, Mom. I'll go get some if I can borrow your car." She didn't even hesitate before giving me her keys. I was still laughing as I walked through the living room, grabbing my bag on my way out. The weather was perfect so I didn't bother with the air conditioner. I rolled both of the windows down and let the night air fill the car. Charming air never had the smog that Atlanta had. The air was always clean and fresh unless you went towards the paper mill on the outside of town.

"What in the hell?" I said, slamming on my breaks. The traffic light was green but there was a truck sitting there, not moving. I turned the radio down and I could hear the horn going off. It was starting to lose the air to make any noise. When the headlights hit the back of the truck, I recognized it. I also saw a shattered back window. It wasn't until I ran up to the driver's door that I saw the blood on the inside of the windshield. "No, no, no. Come on, Donna. Damnit."

I pulled her out of the truck and struggled to get her on the ground carefully. She was limp. I could smell the metallic scent of blood and it almost made me gag. I was used to blood. It wasn't uncommon for me to have at least my hands covered in it once a day at work. That was different though. That wasn't Donna's blood.

"I'm at the corner of Holly and Maple. Thirty year old female, GSW to the rear of her head. Unresponsive. I'm disconnecting to begin CPR." I yelled into the phone after the 911 operator answered the phone. I heard her ribs crack as I started the compressions for CPR. That noise always got me. The cracking of bone in order to save a life. It seemed like an oxymoron. I started to hear sirens after my third round of CPR.

"Miss, we are going to take over." The paramedic said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I was reluctant to step back because I knew what was going to happen. They were going to see what I already knew, that it was hopeless. They would call it as soon as I stopped. I knew I couldn't stand in there way though. I stood up and I felt my hands shaking. The paramedic checked her vitals and then called it. It was over. "Time of death, 12:13. I'm sorry, Miss. There was nothing you could have done."

"I know. I had to try though." I said, my voice shaking before it finally cracked. Tears started falling down my cheeks as I dug my phone out of my pocket to call Jax. I didn't have Opie's number and I honestly didn't know if I could be the one to tell him if I did. "Jax. It's Donna. She's been killed."

"What? Alexis, where are you." I could hear him moving quickly. The police arrived and the paramedics moved her into a body bag. I sobbed and looked away. Just minutes ago we were joking about stupid stuff and watching Opie lose at Monopoly against the kids.

"Holly and Maple. She was shot, Jax. Why did this happen?" I sobbed, holding up my hand to tell Hale to hold on.

"I don't know, Alexis. I don't. We'll be there, okay?" I didn't bother acknowledging his statement. I knew he would be there soon. I knew most of the club would be.

"Alexis. What happened?" Hale asked. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't know any more than the obvious answer. She'd been shot from behind. The cowards couldn't even face her.

"I pulled up and saw the truck. She was slumped over on the steering wheel, unresponsive. She wasn't breathing, so I pulled her out of the truck and started CPR until the ambulance arrived. They pronounced her DOA at 12:13." I gave him the doctor's answer. The answer that left out all feeling and emotion. He frowned and looked at the truck. "I didn't see anything. When I got here, she was already gone."

"Donna? DONNA!" I heard the heartbreak in Opie's voice. It was the same heartbreak I'd felt when Hank died, only I was lucky enough to say goodbye. I was lucky enough to have some time to process it before he was gone.

"Lexie." Jax looked up at me as he backed away from Opie. He was trying to console him but I knew it was useless. There was no comforting or consoling someone after something like that. I let Jax hug me, but I barely felt it.

"She was just at the party, Jax. She was okay. She was happy." I said, feeling myself start to numb. Jax shook his head and pulled me closer, smoothing my hair. My tears dried and I stepped back. "I need to go get trash bags. Mom needs them."

"Lexie, don't worry about that. You need to go home, take a shower and get some rest." I followed his eyes down to my hands and saw that they were covered in drying blood. My shirt was stained and my knees were cut up from kneeling on the pavement. I nodded slowly. "Do you want me to have the prospect follow you?"

"No. I'll be okay." My voice was nearly a whisper. I took a couple steps back before turning around to get back to Mom's car. I knew she would be upset that I was going to get it dirty. I would have to detail and wash it for a month. I struggled to start the car, unable to really focus on the task at hand.

I woke up to the sound of my bedroom door opening. Reflexively, I grabbed for my gun underneath the pillow beside me. Tara had gone back to Jax's after bringing me home and I knew that she would have knocked anyway. I was understandably on edge after Donna's murder.

"Hey, it's just me." I put the gun down and started crying. He crossed the room quickly, tossing the door closed behind him. "Lexie."

He caught me as I launched myself into his arms, tears gushing down. I buried my face into his kutte and tried to get as close to him as possible. He didn't say anything. He just held me tightly, his tattooed arms wrapped around my waist and back. I could feel him moving against my sobs. He wasn't letting go. He just held on.

"Happy." I sniffled, looking up at him after what felt like a half hour. He gingerly swept my hair off my face where it had gotten soaked by my tears. My bottom lip trembled until his thumb traced over it. I moved my hand behind his head and I pulled his head down. His mouth was barely an inch away from mine. I felt my heart start to race just before I closed the distance. He tangled his hand into my hair and managed to kiss me both gently and passionately. I moaned and moved to shove his kutte down his arms.

"Alexis." He groaned, catching my right hand. I looked up at him, searching his eyes for some clue of why he was stopping me. "Baby, I would love to keep going but this isn't right. I'm waiting for you because if I don't I'm going to lose you."

"I want to do this, Happy." I said, feeling deflated. He let out a single laugh and nodded his head.

"I do to, Lexie. If you were any other woman we wouldn't be having this conversation. I care about you though." He sighed and kissed my lips forcefully. My breath was taken away when he pulled back. "Get back into bed, baby. I'm not leaving you."

I watched him step out of his boots, pull his socks off and take off his kutte and the two shirts underneath. All that was left was his low slung jeans that were showing off the top of his black boxer-briefs. He picked my gun up off he pillow beside me and placed it alongside his on the nightstand. My heart had not stopped racing since I kissed him. I was afraid he would feel it when he wrapped his arm around my waist. His perfect lips brushed against my shoulder as he settled in behind me.

"Go to sleep, Alexis. You're okay." He whispered. I placed my hand on top of his and closed my eyes. I felt safe. I felt protected.


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: Again, thank you for the reviews! I'm working on responding to the PM's and reviews but I got a little caught up writing this chapter. Also, I hope you all don't mind but I realized that this is going to be a pretty long story. I was a little shocked that we were already at chapter 16. There's still so much in store for "Haxlie" and you fine readers! You may now begin:::**

Chapter 16

"Gemma called you a few times." Happy said as I walked into the kitchen in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He was still in the same clothes from the night before so I knew he'd stayed the whole night. I picked my phone up from the counter and cleared out the missed calls. "I didn't want it to wake you up."

"It's fine. Thank you." I said, climbing into a bar stool. He slid a mug of fresh coffee across the counter. "Thanks for staying. I promise I'm not always such a wreck."

"You've had good reasons to be. Are you hungry? I can cook toast, oatmeal or scrambled eggs." He offered. I laughed and shook my head.

"I'm good with coffee." I took a sip after adding an adequate amount of sugar. "I find it hard to believe your mom never taught you how to cook."

"She did, just not breakfast. I usually wasn't awake for breakfast." He shrugged and leaned across the counter. "When we get back from Atlanta you should come to Bakersfield with me."

"You want me to meet your Mom?" I asked, delighted that he cared enough to take that step. He nodded and stood up straight. "I would really like that."

"Good. I need to go to the clubhouse. We're trying to figure all this shit out." He didn't need to specify what that "shit" was. I knew they were working to find who had killed Donna. I felt a shudder run up my spine. I followed him towards the door, wringing my hands as we walked.

"Why don't you come back tonight? I know it may be late and that way we can leave for the airport from here. Or I can come by the clubhouse in the morning and pick you up." I paused and realized that with everything going on, the club may not be able to spare him. "I understand if you're needed here though. It's just for a couple days. Mom and I would be fine."

"Are you done?" He asked, holding onto the front door. I snapped my mouth shut and looked down at my bare feet. "I'll see you tonight and we'll head out in the morning. Don't wait up."

"Oh okay." I said just before he gave me a quick kiss. I was glad that I had brushed my teeth before coming out to the kitchen. Happy jogged down the front steps before slowing down to a walk out to his bike. It was hard to hide my smirk as I watched him walk. Every member developed this kind of swagger after being in the club for a while. They just seemed to have this borderline cocky strut. Happy was no different, it just wasn't as pronounced as my brother's.

I walked back inside the house and started cleaning. There wasn't much to do besides wash our two mugs and the coffee pot. Other than that, the house was tidy. I stripped my bed and put the sheets in the wash to start after I took a shower. Standing in front of the mirror, I could barely recognize myself. I was accustomed to looking tired, thanks to my profession, but I noticed I had also lost weight since coming back to Charming. Sure, I had noticed it in the way my clothes fit but I hadn't really seen a difference in the mirror until then. My collar bone was more pronounced and my ribs caused my tattoo to look rippled. I knew I needed to start eating better and working out again. There was no way I could take care of my patients or my family if I couldn't take care of myself.

Instead of getting into the shower like I'd planned, I pulled on a sports bra and a pair of shorts to go take a jog in. Part of the reason I'd lost weight was because I'd lost muscle. I wanted that back. I didn't want to look frail. After double checking that the hidden key was in place underneath a loose pathway stone, I locked the door and headed out. The first mile went well but then I started to really feel it after that. I came to a stop and bent over, putting my hands on my knees to catch a breath. My heart was pounding in my ears, so I almost missed the whistle coming from an old, beat up truck. I straightened up and and took a step back to distance myself from the two men.

"Can I help you?" I spat at the two men. The one on the passenger side was leaned over as far as he could, grinning with about half a set of teeth. I recognized some of their tattoos. They were Nords. Darby's guys.

"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" He asked, wagging his brow. I scowled and pursed my lips, not impressed by his lame pickup line. I regretted leaving my cellphone at home. It was stupid. "Need a ride, baby? You look tired."

"I'm fine. You can move on." I said, starting to walk away. They followed me slowly, yelling out comments and pick up lines as we went. "Really? Fuck off."

"Oh, she's got some fight in her. I like when they fight back." The driver said, licking his lips. I clenched my teeth together and kept walking. I knew the garage was only a few more blocks away and there was no way they would follow me onto the lot. I kept walking, picking up the pace just a little but holding my head high. I refused to show any fear for them to feed off of. I wasn't afraid of them, not in the middle of the day on a main road. They may be racist scum, but they weren't that stupid.

We were less than a block from the garage when I heard the bikes. The truck was still right beside me, completely unfazed by the motorcycles coming towards them. The club was riding in full force and every one of them came to a quick stop, surrounding the truck. Jax was the first one off his Harley, not bothering to remove his helmet or gloves.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jax said, kicking the driver's door. He was in full big brother mode. Most people thought he could be intimidating until they saw him protecting me. At that point, intimidating quickly changed to terrifying. I felt an arm grab my waist and yank me back quickly. I didn't know it was Happy until I saw him step in front of me. He was right beside Jax, his hand resting on the hilt of the knife hanging from his belt.

"We didn't do anything to her. Just trying to show her a good time. Mind your damn business, biker boy." The passenger said, throwing the door open. Tig kicked the door, causing it to fly back and hit the man.

"That's my little sister. You need to apologize and move on." Jax spat. Chibs threw his arm around my shoulders and sighed.

"Ya know those two want ta kill that racist trash." He whispered. I groaned and nodded, wishing I had just driven to the gym at the clubhouse and worked out there. The two men chose life over their pride and got back in their truck. Tig and Bobby rolled their bikes out of the way so the truck could back up and leave. Jax turned to me with a scowl.

"Why didn't you call me? What are you doing walking around like that anyways?" Jax said storming towards me. I crossed my arms and stood my ground.

"I left my phone at home and I was jogging. I'm not just walking around." I was embarrassed that the whole club had witnessed Jax jumping on me. Happy looked pissed but he didn't say a word.

"Go get a shirt and have somebody drive you home." Jax snapped, turning his back on me. I scoffed and he turned around. "We have shit to handle, Alexis. I can't follow you around because you want to dress like some sweetbutt."

"I'll take her home and catch up with you." Happy growled. Jax looked over at him and shook his head with a sigh.

"Alright. Tig, go with Happy to take my daughter home." Clay said. I felt my lip twitch into a snarl at the word daughter. I hated when he called me that. "Stay home, Alexis."

"I'm twenty-six, Clay. You can't just ground me like a kid." I snapped. Happy took my wrist and shook his head, warning me to be quiet. I rolled my eyes and walked with him to his Dyna.

"Here." He grabbed a hooded sweatshirt out of his saddlebag and shoved it at me. I could tell he wasn't just pissed at the Nords. I contemplated saying something about his hostility but decided to pick my battles instead. I pulled the hoodie over my head and looked down. It looked like an oversized dress on me. I caught his lips twitch up in an attempt to smile but he hid it quickly. "Hold on."

Tig rode beside us on our way back to Tara's house and my temporary home. I noticed that he seemed different. He didn't seem like himself at all. I knew Donna's death was still fresh on everyone's mind but it seemed like more than that. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was different about him but he definitely wasn't the Tig I knew.

"Give me a minute." Happy told Tig, swinging his leg off his bike after taking the helmet back from me. I squatted down and got the hidden key, not wanting to piss Happy off further by giving Tig a show. He was right behind me as we walked through the front door. I heard the door slam behind me and rolled my eyes, ready for a fight. It wouldn't be the first time we got into an argument, just the first time in a long time. "Come on, Alexis. You couldn't just wear a shirt?"

"They get clingy when I run. Why are you blaming me? Guys run without shirts all the time and never have to worry about women following them like that. It's not my fault they're creeps." I had more ammunition for my side of the argument but he cut me off by grabbing the front of his hoodie and yanking me to him. I swallowed hard and looked up at him, refusing to let him see just how nervous I was. He'd never hurt me before but I knew he was more than capable of it. I'd seen him box brothers twice his weight and knock them out cold.

"There's only so many places to hide bodies, Lexie." He put his hand on the back of my neck and took a deep breath. "Just wear a shirt next time and keep your damn phone with you. I don't want to waste shallow graves on those assholes."

"I'm keeping your hoodie." I said, relaxing and feeling silly for thinking he would hurt me. He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Be careful out there, okay?"

"I'll see you tonight." He said, turning away. Happy was gone before I could even finish nodding. When the sound of their motorcycles' exhaust faded away, I walked away from the door and down the hall to take a much needed shower. My legs felt like jello after the jog and ride back home, so I turned the hot water up as much as possible before I stepped in. After a long shower, I got dressed and pulled on Happy's hoodie over my t-shirt. I ignored Clay's order to stay home and left out for Jax's to see Abel and Tara.

"Hey, nice sweater." Mom said, opening the front door as I came up the steps. I set her with a look and walked inside. My mood still wasn't fully recovered from my run in with the Nords. Tara walked into the living room with Abel in her arms. I smiled and waved to him.

"Hey little man!" I said, wiggling his foot. Tara handed him over and I cradled him in my arms. He yawned and stretched his arms out. "You look like you just woke up."

"He did. He fought a nap for hours and finally went down at about two." Tara said. She pulled her hair up and rubbed the back of her neck with a yawn of her own.

"You know I've been trying to call you all day. I need to know what time we're leaving for the airport." Mom said quietly. I knew if Abel wasn't in my arms her delivery would have been a lot louder and angrier. I nodded and made a silly face at my nephew.

"We're leaving at eight thirty." I told her. My plan was to actually leave at eight but I knew she would get there early and I wanted to try and avoid her seeing that Happy had stayed the night. I thought that if I told her eight thirty, she would get there no later than eight fifteen and we would already be up and ready to go.

"Okay baby. Do you want to just stay in our guest room? You look like you need sleep." She said, rubbing my shoulder. I shook my head.

"No, I'm good. Thank you though." I gave her a small smile. I could see the worry in her eyes and knew that she was concerned about me. It made me feel both loved and guilty at the same time. "I'm okay, Mom."

"No you aren't baby. You will be though. We all will be." She said. I wasn't used to all the optimism from her. Normally, she was down to earth and realistic.

"I know." I said, wishing I could just tell her that I wasn't as fragile as everyone thought. Instead, I just walked around the living room and kitchen, bouncing Abel in my arms. He was one of the happiest babies I had ever been around. Hank's cousin Layla had a baby a couple years ago and she was the fussiest little girl. She almost always cried, even when she got older. Abel was just the opposite, at least when I saw him he was always smiling.

Mom eventually headed home to finish packing for our trip. She also said something about getting ready for a proper goodbye with Clay but I tuned her out before it made me vomit. Tara and I put Abel back down around dinner time and then ordered a pizza.

"So, how is life with my brother?" I asked with a grin. Tara rolled her eyes and turned the television on.

"Busy? No, it's great. I love being with him and being here for Abel. He's just busy with the club and he seems preoccupied when he's here." She said, twisting a loose string on her jeans. I nodded and pulled my legs up beneath me.

"Sounds like Jax. It's going to get better once they figure out everything with Donna." I felt my chest tighten at her name. "I can still smell all the blood."

"I can't even imagine. I know we deal with blood day in and day out but not like that. Not for someone we know. You know I'm hear if you need to talk, right?" Tara asked, squeezing my knee. I nodded with a thankful smile. "Okay, let's talk about something happier. Actually, whom does that hoodie belong to?"

"I see what you did there. Today was pretty shitty. After Happy left this morning I went for a jog because I'm losing muscle and look horrible. Anyways, I get closer to town and these Nords pull up beside me and start cat calling. I started walking towards the garage hoping that they would leave me alone when I walked onto the lot." Tara's eyes were as large as hubcaps. "Unluckily for the both them and me, the club was rolling out when we were about a block away. They surround the truck and my lovely brother jumps on me for wearing shorts and a sports bra after getting rid of them. Clay threw his two cents in before Happy took me home. I thought he was going to lay into me about my clothes to but he didn't he just told me to wear a shirt so he doesn't have to kill people. It was sweet."

"You know if you told anyone else that him saying that, they probably wouldn't see the sweet side in that. Rewind though. What do you mean after he left this morning? He stayed over?" Tara said, leaning in with interest. I shrugged and took a deep breath, explaining how he'd come to stay the night with me. "He's nothing like he seems on the outside. I've always thought he was cold and heartless. No offense."

"None taken. Don't get me wrong, he can be really caring and sometimes even sweet. He's still Happy though. He didn't get the nickname killah for nothing. I'm just glad I'm on his good side." Tara frowned and I realized how that sounded. "He would never hurt me."

"Just be careful, Lexie. Everyone has a point where they can lose their temper. I just don't want to see you in the situation I was in with Josh." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, taking offense to her thinking Happy could be like that monster. I took a moment before responding.

"Happy isn't Josh, Tara. Even if something like that did happen, the club would never let him get away with it. They'd never let anyone hurt me like that again." I didn't see why I needed to remind her what had happened when Kohn hurt me. She pursed her lips.

"It's not like I let him get away with it, Lexie. I went to every precinct in Chicago, just looking for someone to take my report." Tara said defensively. I shook my head and took her hand.

"I'm not saying you let him get away with it, Tara. You did everything you could. We both know that statistically a woman goes a lot longer without taking actions to get out of the situation." The doorbell rang, interrupting our conversation. I felt like I was literally saved by the bell. I hated that I'd offended her. We eventually moved on from the heavier topics of domestic violence and Donna's death to talking about work. We compared some techniques and talked about surgeries we'd done for the rest of the night. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket as I pulled my jacket on.

"Hey, I'm at Jax's. Well, Jax and Tara's." I told Happy, knowing what he was most likely to ask. "I'm just going to look in on Abel and then leave."

"Okay. I'm taking a shower. I'll see you when you get here." He sounded tired. I ended the call before tip-toeing into the nursery. Abel was sleeping soundly. Looking at him, you would never think that he'd almost died when he was born. He was still smaller than other infants his age, but that was to be expected. I pulled the door almost closed on my way out. "Thank you again for letting me stay in your house until I can figure something else out. We should talk about rent when I get back."

"It's already paid for by the life insurance and I'm not taking your money. Have a safe trip back to Georgia. I'm only a phone call away if you need to talk or anything." Tara said, hugging me tightly. I nodded while giving her a quick peck on the cheek. I made the short drive back home and locked the door behind me, wondering for a moment if Happy had picked the lock or used the spare key.

"I half expected you to be naked." I joked as I crawled into bed beside Happy. He was wearing his normal, black boxer briefs and seemed to be having a hard time staying awake. I ran my fingers over his necklace chain and held the golden bullet that hung from it in my palm for a minute. "Sorry I was late."

"You can apologize when you're an ill ass in the morning. Roll over and go to sleep." His whisper sounded like a soft growl. I was just turning when he caught my shoulder and kissed my lips gently. "Goodnight, Lexie."

"Goodnight Hap." I whispered, rolling over with a smile on my face. It was late but I knew I would be able to sleep well with him holding me. There was no denying my body's reaction to sleeping with him. I felt drawn to him and wanted nothing more than to say fuck sleeping and stay up having earth shaking sex until it was time to leave. Luckily, my brain was able to override that primal instinct. If he was able to take it slow for me, I wasn't going to make it any harder for him. I just had to keep reminding myself that it was for the best; that it would be better in the long run.

"Stop making so much noise." I grumbled, wondering what Happy could be doing to make all that banging noise. He grunted and pulled me closer, burying his face against my neck. The banging started again and I heard the unmistakable sound of my mother yelling my name. My eyes flew open and I threw the sheets and blanket off of me, checking the time on my phone. It was five minutes to eight. My plan was shot to hell. There was going to be no fooling her about how Happy was there already. I was an adult and I knew she was aware that we were somewhat involved. I just didn't want to face the brigade of questions she would have about our status. I wasn't even ready to answer the questions for myself.

"Ignore her and she'll go away." Happy said, lifting his arm and inviting me to come back to bed. I grabbed my pillow and hit his legs with it. "Hey."

"Hey nothing. That's Gemma. She doesn't just go away. At least put some pants on." I said, stepping into sweatpants of my own. I grabbed Happy's hoodie on my way to the front door, hoping he listened and put pants on before Mom saw him almost naked first thing in the morning.

 **a/n 2: So, that was fun, right? Next chapter will be in Georgia. After their time in Georgia we will be getting back to some events that happened in the show and I have something planned for everyone that's been wanting some Jax/Tara scenes. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and have a lovely week! Happy Memorial Day to my fellow Americans.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N to follow. Enjoy::::**

Chapter 17

"Alexis." Mom said, dragging my name out. I ignored her and hurried into the kitchen, hoping she'd follow me instead of going to look for Happy. I started measuring out coffee and ignoring the elephant in the room. Mom stayed right on my heels. "Is that Happy's bike in the driveway? I felt the exhaust, Alexis. It's too cold for him to have gotten here recently."

"Yeah, it's Happy's bike. Do you want some coffee?" I asked, refusing to give her anything else. She scowled at me so I just turned away and got two mugs out of the cabinet. "What happened to eight-thirty?"

"You know how security can be at the airport, Alexis. I don't want to miss our flight. I didn't know I'd be interrupting." She spat. I rolled my eyes and poured a generous amount of sugar into my usual mug. "I thought you two were going to take things slow."

"It's none of your business, Mom." I said under my breath as Happy walked into the kitchen. He was completely dressed, a benefit of him beating me to the house and taking a shower last night. I could tell that he was tired. "Hey, the coffee is almost done."

"Good." He grumbled, leaning back against the kitchen island and folding his arms across his chest. Mom looked him over but didn't say anything. Had it been any other Son, she may have tried to pull information out of him. It wasn't though. It was Happy. "Morning."

"Morning." She said, brow raised. I sighed and pulled the coffee pot off of the maker, pouring two very full mugs. I offered Mom coffee again but she turned it down. "I'm going to step out and have a smoke while you two figure out your story."

Happy waited until she was outside before he set his coffee down and groan. I laughed a little and kissed him on the cheek.

"Imagine her waking you up for seventeen years." I muttered. Happy pulled me into a hug and shook his head, finally resting his chin on top of my head. "I'm sleepy."

"You can sleep on the plane. I hope she knows I'm driving." I laughed and stepped away, eagerly grabbing my coffee and taking a big drink. "Lexie, I've seen both of you drive. It's terrifying."

"You're so dramatic. I'm an excellent driver." I pouted. He tried to hide his laugh behind a cough unsuccessfully. I shot him a bird and headed down the hallway. "You can deal with Mom. I'm going to go take a shower and get dressed."

My stomach felt uneasy and I tried to tell myself that it was just something I ate. It was a mix of heartburn and a little nausea that wouldn't go away. I made some toast for the road but even that didn't help. The closer we got to the airport, the worse it got. As if the ride wasn't awkward enough with no one really speaking, I was eating ant-acids like candy. Happy glanced over at me from the driver's seat a few times but didn't comment.

"Your glocks are in my checked bag, right?" I asked Happy as we unloaded the luggage. He nodded and put his hand on my lower back.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly. I shrugged a single shoulder and gave him a half-hearted smile.

"Not really. I'll be fine though." I grabbed my bag and put it on my shoulder. Happy shook his head and took the bag from me. He then took the handle of Mom's suitcase. All that was left for Mom and I to carry were our purses.

"Thank you." Mom told Happy. He glanced over at her with a quick nod. "Let's get going so we can get through the security. I have a feeling one of us may be searched carefully."

"You get used to it." Happy said with a smirk. I laughed and the two of us fell into step behind Mom. She led us into the airport, we picked up our tickets and checked our bags, and then it was on to security. Sure enough, they pulled Happy aside and patted him down. He wasn't amused. "Need me to squat and cough?"

"Sir, this is just a random search. We want to make sure the flights are safe for everyone." The TSA agent said, picking up Happy's kutte that they had made him remove. The agent started checking the pockets and I saw Happy start to tense up. The agent emptied the inside pocket and Happy's fists clenched.

"Random my ass. That shit ain't going to make anyone unsafe." Happy said motioning towards the envelope that the agent had taken out of his kutte. I couldn't see what was in there but I could see the veins starting to pulse in Happy's neck.

"We have a flight today." Mom said with a scoff. The agent looked over at the two of us. We were standing a few feet away, both of us with our arms crossed over our chests and scowls on. I didn't want to admit that we probably looked pretty similar. The agent sighed and started putting things back in Happy's kutte.

"That's not where you got that from. Move." He said, walking to the table. The agent hesitated but then he stepped back from the table an motioned Happy on. After quickly restoring his kutte to it's original condition, Happy stepped back into his boots and walked out of the search area. "Let's go.."

"Have you flown before?" Mom asked Happy as we sat and waited to board the plane. He nodded but didn't say when or where he flew to. He stepped away, explaining that he needed to make a call. "He's talkative today."

"Mom, you've known Happy for years. He isn't the type to strike up a conversation." I said, leaning back in the chair. She shook her head and checked the time again.

"So what do you two do then? Hook up and then stare at each other?" Mom asked with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Happy. I could tell he was either talking to his mom or his aunt by the way he was standing, one hand in his pocket and the arm holding his phone propped up against the wall. He was more relaxed than he would be if it was club business.

"We haven't hooked up since I met Hank, Mom." I didn't want to elaborate on our some-what relationship. She looked surprised and I couldn't help but take some joy from that. "Yeah, he's not just trying to get in my pants."

"So, he was who you were always sneaking off before you left for Duke." I blinked, shell shocked. "I was a teenager once to, Lexie. I always thought it was Opie that you were sneaking out with though. It's probably a good thing I didn't know it was Happy."

"Exactly how old were you and Dad when you got married?" I asked Mom, knowing it would shut her argument down. She smiled and patted my leg. The attendant called for us to start boarding the plane and I started feeling sick again. Mom squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. She knew what was bothering me, even before I did. It wouldn't be until after a long flight with a crying baby and a moody Happy that I would realize it was returning to Georgia to uproot my old life that had me feeling sick. I was sure about my decision, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Shit." I said with a groan as I pulled into what was Hank and I's home. The realty sign was out front in the yard and my mother-in-law's car was in front of the second garage bay. I told her when I would be getting into town, not to invite her over but to make sure she wasn't startled to see a rental car in the driveway. Happy was tense, scanning the area and keeping his hand close to his Glock concealed in his waistband. When the front door opened ahead of me unlocking it, I thought he was going to draw his gun on Martha.

"Alexis, I'm so glad you made it in okay. Your car is in the garage. Hank Sr picked it up from the airport so you wouldn't get charged for storage." Martha said, yanking me into a hug. I stepped back after the hug got awkward and introduced her to Mom and Happy. "Gemma, of course. It feels like ages since I met you at the wedding. You don't look like you have aged a day."

Mom and Martha probably couldn't be more polar opposite. Mom was a biker queen that was usually dressed in dark colors with some type of lace cutouts, studs or leather. Martha wore brightly colored floral prints and always looked ready for a Southern Living photo shoot. Her hair was a light blonde, almost gray color where Mom kept hers dark with chunky highlights. They had their similarities too though. Both of them loved their children and would do anything for them without hesitation. It was something I always respected Martha for, despite our differences.

"Thank you for looking after the house, Martha. I know it upset you when I put it on the market." I said, remembering how she'd cried and hung up on me when I told her. She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. She kept glancing over at Happy nervously as we walked inside the house. He probably noticed but he didn't comment on it. He just kept surveying his surroundings.

"I hope you don't mind but I went ahead and changed the sheets in your room and the guest room. I can make up the couch as well if you'd like." She was fishing, obviously. I hesitated and noticed Happy finally looking at Martha. I opened my mouth, only to close it again. Mom looked from Martha to me.

"Martha, I've got things from here. You've done so much already." Mom said with a polite smile. Martha's scowl slowly faded. Happy cracked his neck and glanced around the living room again. I saw him looking at the pictures on the mantel and realized that Mom may have been right about him being uncomfortable. He turned away from it and pointed towards the front door.

"I'm getting the luggage." He said to no one in particular. I watched him walk out of the front door. I bit my bottom lip and tried to decide if I should follow him or let him have a minute. Mom put her hand on my shoulder.

"Sweetheart, can you go get my purse? It's under the front seat and he may not see it." She said, motioning towards the door. Her purse was laying on the back seat where she'd been searching through it. I didn't argue though. That was her telling me to go follow Happy. He was standing at the back of the car, smoking a cigarette.

"Can I bum a smoke?" I asked, leaning back next to him. He pulled the pack from the front left pocket of your jeans and opened the top towards me. I pulled a cigarette from the center and placed it between my lips. Happy put the pack back in his pocket and then flicked his zippo lighter open for me. I leaned forward and lit the cigarette. My eyes were closed, enjoying my first cigarette of the journey, but I didn't miss the metal on metal sound of the lighter being flipped shut. I could recognize that noise easily, thanks to both Dad and Jax using zippo lighters religiously.

"That your husband's mother?" Happy asked. It wasn't like him to ask rhetorical questions, so I knew he was aggravated. I blew out a trail of smoke and nodded.

"She was." I didn't really know how to put it. She was still Hank's mother, that would never change. He wasn't my husband anymore though. The way he worded it made the question difficult to answer.

"Nice house." It should have been a compliment but his tone made it feel like I should be ashamed. I took a long drag from the cigarette, trying to figure out what he expected me to say. I wasn't going to apologize for the life or things I had shared with Hank. They were some of the best years of my life to that point. "Does you couch pull out?"

"Would you stop?" I said, flicking the cherry off my cigarette forcefully. He looked over at me and blew smoke upwards. "You're not sleeping on the damn couch, Happy. What do you want me to do? You knew I was coming to the home I shared with the man I was married to for years. Why did you even come if it was going to bother you this much?"

"I came because I knew you would be upset. I came because I didn't want you to be alone." He snapped, throwing his cigarette onto the driveway. I sighed and pushed my hair out of my face with both hands. "I thought if you came here alone you wouldn't come back."

"Happy. What do I have to do for you to believe that I'm not going anywhere? You shouldn't have put yourself through this if it was just going to piss you off." I said, tossing my cigarette and turning to him. He shook his head and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"Lexie, I'm not pissed off. I'm jealous of what he had with you." Happy snapped. His shoulders dropped and I felt like I was going to cry. It was the first time I had seen him that vulnerable in a very long time. He hated showing that side of himself, even with me.

"I can't apologize for the life we had, Happy. That doesn't have any affect on what we've had in the past or might have now." I laid my hands on the front of his kutte and sighed. "Thank you for coming with me."

"You don't have to thank me, Alexis." He said, all anger and frustration out of his voice. I offered him a small smile and he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. "Let's go before Gemma comes out here."

"Are you afraid of my mother?" I asked with a laugh as I opened the trunk. He nodded seriously.

"We all are." He informed me. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag as Happy got his and Mom's. He closed the trunk and put his free hand on my lower back, guiding me back into the house. Mom was in a very involved conversation about petunias when we came back inside. I knew she was just distracting Martha and I made a mental note to thank her for it later.

"Martha, I really appreciate you being here. We're exhausted from the flight though." I said, trying to be as polite as possible about kicking her out of what was still my house. She seemed a kitten taken back.

"Oh. Right, I'm sorry. I will call you tomorrow. We should all have dinner before you leave." She said, picking up her purse. I hesitated before nodding with a tight smile. Mom waited until Martha was in her car to comment.

"If I never hear about petunias again it will be too soon. Lexie, where is your guest bedroom? I need a shower before we eat." I motioned down the hall.

"Follow me." I said, leading her down the hall. Happy followed along with our bags in hand. I showed Mom the guest room with the attached bath. Happy handed her suitcase off and then stepped back in the hall. I suddenly realized that if Mom was staying in the guest room, that was going to leave Happy and I in the master bedroom. I regretted not putting a day bed in the office like Hank had suggested.

"What's bothering you?" Mom asked, opening her suitcase and pulling out toiletries. I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head. It didn't fool her but it did let her know I didn't want to talk about it. "I'll be ready in about an hour. Pick where you want to go eat. It will be my treat."

"Thanks, Mom." My voice was softer than I intended. I pulled the bedroom door closed as I left her to shower and get changed. I found Happy back in the living room, staring at pictures on the mantle. Both of his hands were shoved in his front pockets. He reminded me of a little kid that wasn't allowed to touch anything.

"When Jax found out you were getting married he drank for two days straight. He said he wasn't ready to lose his little sister." Happy said, looking over at me. I remembered getting a call from a very intoxicated Jax telling me just that about a week after Hank and I got engaged. He told me that he wanted me to come home and that he wouldn't come to the wedding. He said I was his little sister, not somebody's wife. Jax eventually sobered up and apologized but I still feared he wouldn't come to the wedding until I actually saw him that morning. He walked me down the aisle. It was the picture Happy was looking at.

"Hank was terrified of Jax but he did his best to never show it." I said, smiling at the memories. Happy nodded and turned away from the mantle. "Are you afraid of him to?"

"Nah, just your Mom." Happy said with a smirk. I laughed but it fell short. I was still uneasy about the sleeping arrangements. He must have picked up on it. "I don't care to sleep on the couch, Alexis."

"I was just thinking that I might." I admitted. He shook his head and pushed my hair out of my face. I looked up from the hardwood floor and saw his eyes were that warm chocolate brown that I so seldom got to see. I felt tears start to build up in my eyes until he leaned down and pressed his lips onto mine. I let myself get lost in the kiss, letting go of every other feeling and emotion that had been swirling around inside of me. I deepened the kiss, savoring the taste of smoke and mint. I pulled back after feeling my entire body heating up.

"If you sleep on the couch then I will to." Happy whispered. I gave him a peck on the cheek and shook my head while I took his hand, just enjoying the feel of our fingers intertwined. I knew I could get through packing things up and saying goodbye to the house and Georgia because of both his and my mother's support. I wasn't sure how I was ever going to be able to thank them enough for putting their lives on hold and traveling across the country with me.

"Do you like Thai food?" I asked, breaking the silence after a few minutes. He gave me a suspicious look, like I was trying to trick him. I laughed. "Happy, it's like Chinese food but better. You can get it super spicy."

"If it's not good, I'm blaming you." He muttered as Mom walked into the living room. I wasn't even aware that she'd had enough time to shower and get ready, yet there she was. She was fully dressed, her hair was done and her makeup looked professional. I stood up from the couch, slowly releasing Happy's hand, and announced where we would be going for dinner. It was my favorite restaurant and Hank had never liked Thai food so I thought it was safe from any memories and I could probably force myself to eat something since it tasted so good.

After dinner, which Happy devoured and Mom enjoyed, we headed back to get some sleep before a long day of sorting and packing. I had managed to eat enough to satisfy the hunger pain in my stomach and keep Mom from worrying but I still didn't have much of an appetite. I didn't speak much at dinner or during the car ride back but neither of them pushed me on it. When we got back to the house, I pulled the SUV in the garage next to my car. I was glad to see that Hailey had taken Hank's car like I'd told her to. She always loved his Camaro.

"Goodnight, Mom." I said when she told me she was going right to bed. She said it was because she didn't have the energy of someone my age, but I had a feeling she was giving some of us privacy as well. "Are you tired?"

"Lexie, I can sleep on the couch. I get it." He said, leaning against the kitchen counter. I sighed and bit my lip. It was hard, thinking about someone else being in the bed that Hank and I had shared. I knew he was gone and that it was just a piece of furniture, but it was still hard.

"I haven't slept in there since the funeral. I either slept on the couch or in the guest room." I said quietly. I took a deep breath and looked up to see Happy looking at me with a small frown. "We've got a long couple days of packing ahead. Let's go to bed."

He could probably feel me shaking as I took his hand and led him down the hall. As we got closer to the bedroom, I slowed down. Happy slowed as well, not pushing me in the slightest. I opened the bedroom door and stood in the hall for a minute, just looking inside the room I had avoided the last time I was in Atlanta. After being unable to stay in there the first night back, I didn't go in the room again. All of my clothes were in the office closet. I closed my eyes and walked inside. There was no lightning strike coming down through the ceiling, no quaking earth beneath my feet. All of the anxiety that had built up inside of me washed away.

"You okay?" Happy asked from the hall. I nodded and turned back toward him with a smile.

"I'm good. Come on. I'm sleepy." I said, stripping out of my jeans. Happy walked inside the room. Instead of looking around and surveying the room, he kept his eyes on me alone. He set our bags down at the foot of the bed and I saw his chest rise and fall with a deep breath. I unzipped my bag and slipped a SOA t-shirt over my head. It was oversized and soft, exactly the kind of shirt I liked to sleep in. Happy slowly stripped down to his boxers and joined me in the bed. I turned over onto my side and let him wrap an arm around my waist. It took me a little while to fall asleep since it wasn't my usual side of the bed, but when I finally did, I slept surprisingly well. I realized that maybe I was finally ready to move on.

 **a/n: So, what did you think? I thank you all for the reviews. I'm working on the next chapter and look forward to Haxlie's progression as a couple. I'm still trying to work out an idea on how to add in some more Jax/Tara going forward. Anywho, please review :) each review I get means so much to me and I enjoy hearing from you all.**


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: Shorter chapter than normal to finish up our time in Atlanta. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the continued support! I've also seen some new favs/follows and to you readers I say welcome! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter despite the length. I hope to give you all Chapter 19 soon but it really depends on work assignments. Friday at the latest, promise! Enjoy:::**

Chapter 18

"Why do you have so many shoes, child?" Mom asked as I taped up my second box of shoes. I raised my brow at her, wondering if she even realized how hypocritical that question was. She shook her head and pointed at the two boxes. "Don't give me that look. I don't have two larges boxes of shoes. Maybe one and a half at the most."

"I like shoes." I said simply. There was no real need to explain it. She was my mother so I came by it honestly. "We wear the same size. We can go through them when we get home and see if there's any you want."

We had been packing for a better part of the day, only taking a quick break for lunch and to go pick up the moving truck that would be driven out to Charming after we left. Happy still didn't agree with me about paying someone to drive the truck out when we were already going that way, but he didn't argue too much since it meant we would be back in Charming sooner.

"There's some girl asking for you outside." Happy said, walking in and grabbing the two boxes I had just finished packing. I stood up and brushed the back of my shorts off.

"I'm going to start packing these pictures." Mom said as I moved to follow Happy. I turned back for a second to give her a nod. I had been avoiding packing the pictures. I didn't want to go through them and I didn't know what I was going to do with them after the move. I was more than willing to let Mom deal with packing them. Happy was staring at Hailey when I found them outside. I could tell she was trying not to stare at him. It was a little hard not to considering he was shirtless and sweaty. "There's bottled water in the refrigerator."

"Didn't bring me one?" He growled playfully. I smirked as he walked past me and back inside through the garage.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Hailey asked right off the bat. I blinked, wondering where her normal, friendly greeting was. I blinked a couple times, honestly unsure how to answer that question. "Is he making you move and sell the house?"

"What? No. I decided to sell the house before I even went back to California. Hailey, what's wrong?" She had started to cry and her face was getting red.

"Did you even love my brother? There's barely any grass on his grave and you're already with somebody else." Hailey yelled. I scowled and ground my teeth together.

"Don't ever question me when it comes to Hank. Don't you dare." I said, turning to go back inside before I said or did something I regretted. Hailey caught my wrist and pulled me back around to face her. "Have you smiled or laughed or had a good day since he died, Hailey? Even once?"

"You're his widow." She spat. I yanked my wrist away and balled my hand into a tight fist. She scoffed and pointed at the house. "This was his house to."

"It was, Hailey. It was our house and then he died. I understand that you're hurting but you can't take it out on me like this. I haven't done anything against you, your family or Hank." I was giving her one last chance to change her attitude towards me. She scoffed and straightened the bottom hem of her shirt.

"I'm glad my brother isn't here to see you like this. From hero to thug. It would break his heart." She said, stepping up to me. My hand stung like it had been dipped in acid as soon as it hit the side of her face. I had reached my breaking point. She was beyond rude. She was being cruel. I saw her raise her hand but she stopped short of touching me. I saw her eyes widen and turned around to see Mom standing behind me. Her hands were on her hips, but in her right hand she was holding her trusty Beretta Tomcat.

"That's enough. You move to touch my daughter and I'll put one through your bony ass." Mom said. I guess there may have been a basis for everyone's fear of her. "You don't get to talk to Alexis like she's some gash. I suggest you get in that flashy car she gave you and leave before more than just feelings are hurt today."

"I should call the police." Hailey threatened. I knew she never would though. She wouldn't embarrass herself or her family by getting the police involved. She was visibly shaking while she purse her lips and stormed back to the Camaro. I was hurt that Hailey had talked to me like that. What hurt more was the possibility that she really felt that way.

"You didn't listen to anything that little tart said, did you?" Mom asked, still scowling in the direction that Hailey had left in. It took me a moment to process what she'd asked and that was all it took for her to jump full into Momma Bear and Old Lady mode. "Alexis Grace, don't you dare. You were a great wife and no one could ever think you didn't love that man. You're allowed to move on. You're allowed to be happy. He was a good man. He would have wanted you to be happy. You are a Teller first, Lexie. You are a strong woman who should never take shit from anyone."

"Mom, it hasn't even been six months." I said, Hailey's words were really sinking in. Mom scowled and grabbed my shoulders.

"Birth and death, Alexis. Everything in between is your life and you can't try to live on someone else's timeline. You do what's right for you and right for that man inside." She pointed towards the house and I felt my cheeks warm. She was right. It wasn't just about me. I stepped closer to her and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. Sometimes all a girl needs is a hug from her mother, no matter if they're three or eighty-three.

"Thanks." I said before stepping back. She nodded and we walked back inside. I glanced down at her Beretta and had to laugh. "Was the gun necessary?"

"It drove the message home." She said with a nod. I laughed again. I knew if my daughter was in my shoes, I would have done the same thing Mom did. "I'm going to finish the box I started."

"Did you hear all that?" I asked, knowing Mom was giving us some space to talk. Happy finished his bottled water and nodded. My head dropped. It was embarrassing enough to have my mother step in for me.

"You should have closed your fist and just hit her. Slapping is for pussies." He said, offering me a smirk. I chuckled and questioned why I thought he would even care about what she had said. He wasn't really the type to care about other people's opinions. "I probably shouldn't go to that dinner with your in-laws though."

"I'm not going. If Martha has an issue with it, she can talk to her daughter. I just want to get this finished and get back to Charming." I said, stepping closer and rested my head on his shoulder. He put his hands on my back and kissed my temple.

Just as I assumed, Martha wasn't happy to hear that I wasn't coming to dinner. After a quick explanation of what happened with Hailey, she didn't push me on the issue much. Mom, Happy and I just ordered a pizza and ate on the floor. We didn't have much left to pack and all of the furniture that was going to Charming was packed in the moving truck. Everything else, the bedroom furniture and outdoor furniture, was being offered up with the house. If the buyer didn't want it, I was going to have a local church come and pick it up for charity.

"Wake up." I whispered to Happy between kisses to his chest. He grunted and rolled over to get away. I giggled and kissed his neck. He flipped right back over, eyes open and a scowl on his brow. I smiled brightly and kissed his lips quickly. "Wake up. The sooner we get done, the sooner we can go home."

"No, the sooner we get done the sooner we go wait for the flight." He grumbled. I rolled my eyes and dropped down onto my back. "You woke me up. You don't get to pout."

"I'm not pouting." I lied. He nodded and kissed me. It was gentle at first but it quickly deepened and heated up. I didn't even care that I still had morning breath or that my hair was probably all over the place. He made me forget all of that. I rolled over so that our bodies were parallel and snaked my hand around to the back of his head. He growled and hooked an arm around my waist, pulling me on top of him as he rolled onto his back. I don't know how, but I was able to stop myself just before things progressed any further. Happy didn't fight it or move to push me further.

"I'm sorry. I want to." I said, nearly out of breath. Happy nodded and pulled my mouth down onto his for another kiss. It was softer but I could feel the heat and passion hidden behind it.

"Just not here." Happy provided the words I couldn't find. I nodded and he brought a hand up from my hip to push my hair behind my shoulder. "Going to be honest, Alexis. I'm going crazy. Haven't been this much of an alter boy since middle school."

"Middle school? Really, Happy?" I laughed, amused that he reached back that far. He smirked. "I'm going to call bullshit on you being an alter boy but I understand, Hap. You're welcome to grab a sweetbutt any time you want."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Lexie. You'd cut my balls off and keep them on a shelf." Happy knew me too well to think I would be okay with him being with a sweetbutt, on the road or in Charming.

"Probably a shelf. Sorry, babe but balls aren't really something I want to stare at on a bookshelf." He rolled his eyes and squeezed my hips, causing me to jump from the tickling sensation. I slapped his chest playfully. He knew that tickled.

"Let's get dressed before you change your mind." Happy said, patting my outer thigh. I sighed and climbed off the bed with a nod. Mom didn't sleep in much longer than we did, so we were done with the packing three hours before our flight. I locked the house up for the last time and loaded my car onto the car hauler that was attached to the truck.

"You okay, Lexie?" Mom asked, finishing a cigarette before we got on the road. I looked at the house and nodded, finally able to say that I was honestly okay. No matter where I was, the memories I'd made with Hank would still be with me. I didn't have to stay in Atlanta to remember our time together.

"I wish I was leaving on better terms with Hank's family. I know Hailey is still grieving. She never would have lashed out like that if she wasn't hurting." I said, opening the passenger door. Mom nodded and stomped the cigarette butt out. Happy leaned on the roof of the car and looked over at me.

"We ready?" He asked, obviously anxious to get back to California. I nodded and lowered myself down into the car. I had thought that moving would be starting over but I realized it was just turning the page on a new chapter. Just because the previous chapters were behind me didn't mean they weren't a part of my life.

"Yeah, let's go home." I said, closing the door. He nodded and put his right hand on my knee as soon as he backed out of the driveway.

"Everything okay?" I asked, closing the magazine I had been flipping through while we waited for our flight. Happy got a call and stepped away for a few minutes. Happy ran his hand over his face while slowly shaking his head. I swallowed hard, bracing myself for bad news.

"I've got to take care of something when we get back." He said simply. I knew that could possibly mean that he had to make a kill for the club. It made me nervous.

"Is everyone whole?" Mom asked. We both thought she had been sleeping. Happy looked over at her, his expression illegible.

"Yeah, they're whole. If someone doesn't stay quiet a few of us will be inside again." I knew he couldn't say much in our current setting. A busy airport wasn't really the best place to talk about the club's business. Mom and I both understood enough to know that it was serious though. Something was witnessed and that witness could put some of them away for what I assumed was some major time. It wasn't discussed any further. Happy became quieter than normal, no doubt going over strategy and possible outcomes in his head. I flipped through the magazine without really seeing anything and Mom held her coffee, occasionally sipping on it even well after it was cold.

"Flight 113 to San Francisco is now boarding." A flight attendant announced, jolting the three of us out of our respective thoughts. Happy put his hand on my lower back and guided me towards the plane after Mom. I was eager to get home but I had no idea what we would be walking back into. My mouth was dry and the smallest part of me wondered if I'd made the right decision in going home after all. I shook my head to get rid of the doubt. Like Mom said, I was a Teller first. I grew up with the club. We'd seen bad times before and they always ended up on top. I told myself it wasn't any different then than any time before.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I am so so sorry this is late! I stayed up tonight finishing it. I had a plumbing disaster and had to deal with that and some other real world crap. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I love you all!**

Chapter 19

When we got back to Charming, Happy headed over to the clubhouse to deal with whatever emergency Clay had called him about while we were at the airport. I offered to go with Mom to help her unpack but she said she was going to deal with it after a long bath and some quality time with her man. I didn't even want to be in the same state while that happened, much less the same house. After starting a load of laundry, I decided to go see Tara and Abel. I had missed my favorite nephew and I wanted to make sure Tara and I were on good terms.

"Hey, I just put Abel down. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow. Aren't you tired?" Tara said, waving me inside. I shrugged it off but I was exhausted. She motioned towards the kitchen. "I just started some water for tea if you want some."

"Yeah, thanks. Look, Tara. I don't want to beat around the bush. I want to make sure that we're okay after everything that was said before I left. I know you were just trying to look out for me." I said, sitting on one of the bar stools. Tara pulled the kettle from the eye and nodded as she poured the steaming water into two mugs.

"I was but it had less to do with Happy than it did with Josh. You've known Happy for years and I shouldn't have doubted that you would know him better than I would." She sighed as she handed me my tea. "I feel like such a hypocrite."

"We all have our moments. I'm kidding." I said when her eyes widened. "You aren't a hypocrite. You were just trying to look out for me."

"That's what family is for, right?" She said, squeezing my hand. I nodded and tried to hide a yawn behind my coffee. "So, how was Atlanta?"

I told her about everything. From finding Martha there when we first got to the house to getting into an argument with Hailey and everything in between. It felt so good to talk to someone other than my mother about it. Mom listened but I felt like there was a disconnect because of our age difference and her bias for anything and anyone club related.

"So, do you think you're ready to move on with Happy?" I took a deep breath before nodding my head. Tara gave me a small smile. "Then why are you here and not with him?"

"He's out fixing something for the club. I don't even want to know what it might be. Jax didn't say anything about it?" I wondered why Jax would be keeping Tara out of the loop. She was more of an old lady than I was. She shook her head and I bit my bottom lip. "It's probably nothing then."

"Nice try, Teller." Tara saw right through my bluff to keep Jax out of the dog house. I shrugged my shoulders sheepishly. "Did Happy tell you anything about it?"

"No, I didn't ask." He would have told me what he could if I had asked. I didn't though. I didn't want to know. "I'm going to pop in and see Abel for a second before I go home. I think I'm more tired than I realized."

"Just don't wake him up. He's been fussy today." Tara said, following me down the hall. I always thought she would be a good mother, I just never thought she'd be raising Jax's kid if it wasn't hers. She didn't even seem to mind that Abel wasn't her blood. It said a lot about her as a person. I was still trying to get Mom to understand that.

"I feel like he's doubled in size since I've been gone. Does he like his mobile?" I had found the perfect motorcycle mobile for his crib one day when I was shopping online. Luckily, it came in the mail the day before he came home from the hospital.

"He watches it and reaches for it any time I put him down. He has an appointment with the cardiologist next week. I'm hoping he doesn't have to be on medication his whole life." Tara said softly. I frowned with a nod. Thomas was on cardiac medication since he was six months old. Jax and I were somehow lucky enough to avoid the genetic defect. I felt guilty for being healthy after Thomas died.

"I'm supposed to go to Bakersfield sometime soon. When I figure out when that is, we should plan a dinner or something." I said, hoping to better her relationship with Happy. She smiled and agreed enthusiastically. "I'm going home and crashing. Goodnight, TK."

"Goodnight, Teller." She laughed. I'd called her TK from time to time ever since her fight with Misty Williams in the girl's locker room our junior year. Misty had made a move on Jax and Tara busted her nose for it. I may have instigated the fight and convinced Tara it was the only way to put an end to the situation. Regardless, that's where she'd gotten the nickname. Ironically, Misty was one of the croweaters I recognized from school and she had probably been fucked by Jax at least a few times. It wasn't something I was going to mention to Tara though. She probably already knew.

I woke up to Happy walking into the room. He had just closed the bedroom door and was trying to quietly take his boots off. I rolled over to my side and watched him undress, my eyes barely able to stay open. He let out a huff when he got into the bed. I ran my hand over his necklace chain and met his eyes with my own.

"Rough job?" I ran my thumb over the golden bullet pendent as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. I realized he wasn't going to talk about it, not yet at least. I laid my head on his chest and listened to his slowing heart beat. "Goodnight, Hap."

"Goodnight, baby." His voice was a husky whisper. I smiled and pressed a kiss to his chest before rolling over. He followed me and rested his hand on my hip before pressing a soft kiss onto my neck. I smiled and closed my eyes.

I woke up early and crawled out of bed slowly to avoid waking Happy up. He looked restless and I had a feeling that whatever he'd done last night hadn't gone to plan. I just hoped there wouldn't be any blowback. As I stepped into the shower, I thought about everything that could go wrong. My entire life was intertwined with the club again. There was always my family ties but now my best friend was back and with my brother. Then, there was Happy. I still couldn't identify what we were relationship wise but my life was connected to his at any rate. If something happened with the club, my life would be drastically affected. It was a scary realization but something that I had known deep down ever since I started to decide whether or not to stay in Charming.

"What happened last night?" I asked Happy. He was standing in the doorway from the bedroom to the bathroom when I stepped out of the shower. His eyes didn't move from my body until I wrapped a large white towel around my chest. I pursed my lips and moved to the sink as I waited for him to answer.

"Something got complicated. It's handled though." He didn't sound as if he wanted to say much more. I turned from the sink, toothbrush in my mouth and scowled at him. "You don't need to worry about it, Lexie."

"I don't need to worry about it? What happens with the club affects me, Happy. There's not a single part of my life that doesn't involve the club in some way. Don't tell me I don't need to worry about something." I said, spitting toothpaste in the sink at the end for good measure. His jaw was set and I could tell he didn't like what I had to say.

"You don't think I can take care of shit, Alexis? I told you it was handled. That's all you need to know." He said. I rolled my eyes and pushed by him to get back into the bedroom. He caught my wrist and kept me from going any further. "What's wrong with you?"

"I would just like a little heads up if my life is going to be turned upside down again. Obviously you don't trust me enough to tell me what's going on." I snapped, yanking my arm away from him. He groaned and followed me over to the closet.I didn't really know what was bothering me more. The fear of the unknown or the frustration that came from him keeping me in the dark. I knew there were things I would never want to know about club business, not only for plausible deniability but also for my peace of mind. Still, I didn't want to be completely in the dark.

"Lexie, when I don't tell you shit it's usually for your own good." I turned to look at him, wondering what he meant by usually. I stepped into my jeans and turned away from him again. As soon as my back was turned, I heard him sigh. "We went in ready to take care of a threat. Some shit happened when we were gone and there was a witness that was ready to testify. When we got to the safe house, the witness was a teenage girl."

I froze as a frigid chill ran down my spine. There was a time that the club wouldn't have ever considered hurting women, especially young women. Dad's manuscript only served to prove my point. The club was never intended to be violent but eventually it started to come with the territory of living outside of the law. About five or so years before Dad died, it started getting closer to what it is now. When the club got into bed with the Irish, it only got worse. When Clay eventually took the gavel, it seemed like he would stop at nothing to make a dollar. He would always say he it was 'for the good of the club' but it was just a cover up for his greed.

"After damn near an hour of back and forth, we gave her a handful of cash and a clear idea of what would happen if she came back or testified." I felt my chest start to loosen and my lungs were finally getting some desperately needed air. If that was it though, what was he referring to about my own good?

"So? You gave her some hush money and scared her. What couldn't you tell me about that before now?" I asked, searching his eyes for what he really wasn't saying. He took a deep, chest raising breath and stepped forward, placing both of his hands on my hips.

"Alexis, you know who I am, what I do for the club." I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out where he was going with this. He squeezed my hips a little and seemed hesitant to go on. "Had the decision gone the other way, I would have killed her and left her in a shallow grave. Is that what you need to hear, Lexie? You need to hear that I may have killed a teenager if we didn't give her cash and scare? I told you. I usually don't tell you stuff for your own good. This time I just didn't want to see that look you're giving me right now."

"What look?" I asked, blinking. He dropped his hands from my hips and stepped back, balling his hands into fists. I dropped my hands to my side, unsure of what look he thought I was giving him. "If I'm giving you a look, it's because I wish you could have felt comfortable enough opening up to me."

"Lexie. I'm not a hero. Hell, I'm not even one of the good guys." I started to ask what he was going on about when I realized what he was saying. He was referring to Hank. I pursed my lips and walked across the room to him, taking his wrist and pulling him around to look at me.

"Happy. You are the same person I've known since I was a teenager. A little less hot headed and you've got some gray starting to show in your stubble but that's it. The rest I've known for years. You may not be one of the good guys but you're a good man, Happy. You take care of your mother, you love your brothers like family and you treat me better than I probably deserve." I brought my hands to either side of his face and stared into his eyes.

He moved his head down and kissed me deeply. I moved my hands to the back of his head and parted my lips, letting his tongue wander into my mouth. I took a step back and then another. Happy slowly followed me onto the bed as I first sat and then laid down. My hands found his biceps and gripped on as my breath started getting ragged and my heart started racing. It had been years since we were this close but it felt like we'd never been apart. I knew what he liked and he knew what to do to bring me right to the edge. There was the heat and energy like there had been so long ago. I found myself repeating his name as my entire body quivered with climax.

"We should fight and make up more." Happy said, collapsing next to me. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on slowing my breathing back down. "Need to get ready for the funeral."

"What?" I said, blinking dumbfounded. He sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. I stared at his back, it was nearly as ink covered as his chest and arms. He had a fairly large reaper but it wasn't the club's colors like Jax, Opie and some of the other Sons had. I looked away before I got too distracted. Donna. Of course it had to be Donna's funeral. It had been delayed because of the coroner and the investigation. I felt horrible for it slipping my mind. "Donna's funeral. Shit."

"Yeah. I'm taking a shower." He said, leaning down to kiss me before he went into the bathroom. I fell back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't feel the guilt I thought I may after being with someone for the first time after Hank died. If anything I was relieved. I was also still coming down from the high of being with Happy. It was rush.

I felt uncomfortable as I followed Happy over to funeral home. I hated funerals. Happy and the rest of the club had funeral badges on their bikes and would be escorting the hearse over to the cemetery. Opie had decided to skip any visitation and we were all directed to the cemetery for a grave side service. Mom offered to ride with me but I decided to drive instead. I needed something I could control.

"Have you seen your brother?" Mom asked as we took our seats beside the grave. I shook my head. I had not seen Jax since before we went to Atlanta. Happy came to stand behind me, resting a ringed hand on my left shoulder. I took a deep breath. As much as I hated funerals, it was made a little easier by having him there. The service was almost over when Jax came walking up from further inside the cemetery. I had to squint against the sun to see the cut above his eye.

"Jax." Tara whispered after he gave Opie a nod. He looked over at me before taking Tara's hand and walking towards the cars. I frowned and looked up at Happy. He must have known what I was thinking because he removed his hand from my shoulder and gave me the smallest of nods.

"Jax, wait." I said, walking quickly to catch up with him. He paused and I finally noticed his bike that was parked down the drive, away from the rest of the procession. "What happened?"

"A disagreement." Jax said curtly. I remembered what Happy had said about the ordeal the night before. The way Happy made it sound, it was just a decision they had a hard time making. Jax glanced around and then looked at me again. "I finished Dad's manuscript."

"Is that what got your head cracked open?" I asked with a sigh. He shook his head. "So, what now?"

"What do you mean, what now?" Jax asked with a scowl. I frowned. I had given him Dad's manuscript not just because it was dedicated to him. I wanted him to fix the club. I wanted him to bring it back to what Dad had wanted all those years ago. He sighed. "Lexie, I'm going to do what I can."

"Jax, this isn't just about us anymore. We grew up while the club was changing but it was nothing like it is today. Abel deserves to grow up with the club that is a family that can protect him, not put him in more danger." I knew there was a chance that he would get upset but I thought it needed to be said.

"I know, Alexis. I can't change things in a day." Jax said, pulling me into a one armed hug and kissing the top of my head. "I'll see you later."

"Be careful, Jax." He understood that I didn't just mean on his way home. I knew that going against Clay could be dangerous. I hung back by Happy's bike until the service was over. He looked somber as he walked down the hill towards me.

"You good?" He asked, picking up his gloves from his seat. I lifted a shoulder and let it drop. "Follow us back to the clubhouse and we'll talk about it there."

"Okay." I said, moving to step away. Happy caught my hand and leaned over his bike to kiss my lips. I pulled back with a smile. Obviously he didn't care about keeping our relationship quiet. "I'll see you there in a few minutes."

"You're a darn fool, Alexis Teller." I stopped dead in my tracks and turned back to see who had said that. It took me a minute to recognize the older woman since she'd walked out of Opie's life when we were so little.

"Excuse me?" I said, folding my arms across my chest. She shook her head and ushered Opie's kids into her car.

"You made it out of this god-forsaken place just to come back and be with one of them? You're a fool. You'll be lucky if all you get is a broken heart. My daughter-in-law was killed because of this club." She said, pointing back towards the grave.

"I'm not a fool for choosing to stay for my family. I guess you don't recognize the notion." I said, turning back and continuing on to my car. If she said anything else, I couldn't hear her through the blood pumping in my own ears. I slammed the car door and started the engine before gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles started turning white. She was wrong. I wasn't a fool. I ground my teeth together and pulled out of the cemetery long after almost everyone else had already left. When I pulled into the lot, Happy was sitting on one of the picnic tables, talking to Tig as a croweater clung to his arm.

"Uh oh." I heard Tig say as I stormed across the lot. "She's angry walking in heels. I gotta say it looks a lot better on her than her brother."

"Shut up." I snapped at Tig. I wrapped my hand around Happy's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. After a minute, I pulled back just far enough to look at the woman who'd been on his arm. Happy moved his hands to my hips to keep me still. "He's spoken for. Move on."

"What took you so long?" Happy said, completely ignoring the woman sulking off towards the clubhouse. I shook my head, not ready to talk about what Opie's mother had said. I was still processing my thoughts.

"Wait a damn minute. You two are together?" Tig said, looking at me with raised brows. I scowled at him and Happy moved his hands down to my back pockets as a non-verbal answer. "Damn."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

My cheek was pressed against the leather of Happy's kutte as we rode down to Bakersfield. I was beyond nervous. Meeting Happy's mother was a big step for the both of us and I was worried about her liking me. I wasn't sure what to expect. Was she going to be serious and intimidating like Happy could be or a sweet little woman who baked and knitted all the time. Happy thought that second imagining of her was hilarious which made me lean further towards intimidating Mrs. Lowman.

Happy stopped the bike by the curb in front of a stucco home with bright flowers in window pots. The house looked warm and inviting from the outside and it was a little hard to imagine Happy as a child, playing in the front yard and riding a bicycle down the street. Looking up and down the street, I noticed that his mother's home was one of the most well kept. It wasn't until he already had his gloves and helmet on that I noticed I was still sitting on his motorcycle.

"Sorry." I muttered, hurrying off and almost falling onto the sidewalk. Happy caught my arm and steadied me. "This is a great start."

"You're still clumsy when you're nervous." Happy chuckled, reaching beneath my chin and unbuckling the helmet strap. I blushed and took the helmet with shaking hands. "Lexie, she's my mother not the Queen of England."

"That's the problem." I groaned, taking his outstretched hand and following him up the stepping stones to the front door. I took a couple of deep breaths, all while Happy shook his head in silent laughter. The door started opening and I felt my head getting light and woozy. Standing in front of me just seconds later was a older woman with a kind smile and tie-dye walking cane. She seemed like she may have been in her seventies at the most but had a light in her eyes of a woman half her age. She ushered us in with a big smile and sweet voice.

"Hijo, it's about time you bring a woman home to meet me. I was worried you were never going to stop with the floosies." She said, hugging his neck when he leaned down to kiss her cheek. I fought to hide my amused smile. "Well, are you going to introduce her? I taught you better manners than that, Happy."

"Ma, give me a minute." Happy said, shaking his head and putting both of our helmets and his gloves in the coat closet by the door. When he turned back, his mother was scowling impatiently. "Ma, this is Alexis. Alexis, this is my mother Mariah."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Lowman. I've heard a lot about you." I said with a smile. She pushed the hand I'd offered her away and pulled me into a hug.

"Dear, please call me Mariah. I'm not that old." She fussed. I felt my cheeks go pink and she chuckled. "Come, come you two must be thirsty."

Happy seemed as relaxed as I had ever seen him. He guided me behind Mariah with a hand lightly placed at my lower back. The house was nothing like I had expected. It was exceptionally clean, which wasn't surprising but I never expected Happy's mother to be somewhat of a hippy. I guess his name may have been a clue but I just thought it may have been a family name. There were family photos on the walls along with pictures of Ghandi and peace signs. I recognized the smell on incense from the year I spent with a roommate when I first started college.

"Ma, I can get it. Sit down." Happy said as she shuffled towards the kitchen. She turned around and brandished her cane at him. "Alright. Alright. Just let me help at least."

"And leave Alexis sitting all alone in here? Non-sense. You two sit and I will get us some drinks. Just give me a minute. I may not move as fast as I used to but I'm still moving, Happy." I could see where Happy got his bossy nature. It was cute coming from her though. He didn't object any further until she was out of earshot.

"I don't know why she won't let me do stuff for her. Stubborn old woman." He muttered quietly. I shook my head and kissed his cheek softly. "She likes you."

"I've just barely met her, Happy." I said with a blush. He shook his head and leaned back, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"She's going to tell you about how your aura shows that you're a good person and other hippie shit." He said quickly as his mother walked back in with a tray of glasses. His eyes darkened and his brow furrowed quickly. "Damnit, Ma. You aren't supposed to be walking around without your cane."

"Don't you swear at me, Happy Lowman. You're not to old for a fly swatter across your backside." She snapped, setting the tray down on the coffee table as Happy jumped up and stormed into the kitchen. He reappeared a second later with her cane. She snatched it from him and gently hit the back of his thigh with it. "You don't want this stubborn old woman to beat you in front of Ms. Alexis."

Things settled down after Happy and Mariah sat down. He was still sour about being fussed at and her stubbornness but she seemed to move on from it quickly. She asked about my family and what I did for a living, telling Happy I was a keeper after learning I was a doctor. Just like Happy said, she also told me all about my aura, or energy. She said it was pure and she could tell I was a kind and caring person. Happy sighed.

"Ma, she's a doctor. Of course she's kind and caring." He grumbled. She pointed her cane at him threateningly and he rolled his eyes. "She is though. That and more."

"She's sitting right here. Really, I'm flawed like everyone else." I said, getting embarrassed by the compliments and attention. Happy smirked and leaned back again, resting his hand on my thigh. I took another drink of the homemade lemonade and hoped we were moving on from the topic of me.

"When am I getting grand babies?" I choked and started coughing. That was not the next topic I was expecting. Happy groaned and rubbed his hand in circles on my back. "What? I'm not getting any younger and you two go together so well. She is the yin to your yang, hijo."

"Ma, you ain't going anywhere anytime soon." Happy chastised. Mariah rolled her eyes and waved his comment away. From what I'd heard around the club and from Happy himself, that wasn't entirely true. Her cancer wasn't responding to treatment as well as the doctors had hoped. No one had given a prognosis yet but she was nearly terminal. I wished I could be more optimistic but I knew too much about medicine. Optimism was just something I tried to give the family. I rarely had any myself.

We stayed with Mariah until well into the night and she started to fall asleep in her recliner. With some fussing and bickering, she eventually let Happy help her to bed. I told her goodnight and promised to visit soon. She threatened to hold me to it and I was more than happy to give her my word. I loved Mariah already and looked forward to spending more time with her after all of the great stories about Happy's childhood, what California was like when she was growing up and all about auras and energies. She was one of the most interesting people I had ever met.

"You ready to go?" Happy said, stepping back into the living room. I gave him a small smile and a nod. I was sad to leave. Happy kissed the top of my head and led the way outside. I continued out to his Harley as he locked the front door. "Stay awake, okay? I don't want your ass falling off the back."

"I'm good." I said, securing my helmet. He nodded and turned his head to give me a kiss and avoid hitting his forehead on the helmet. I bit his bottom lip playfully before he pulled back. "Your Mom is great."

"Yeah. I've got two great women in my life." He said casually. I blushed deeply and turned to hide it but he wasn't having it. He turned me back around and lifted my chin so I had to look at him. He searched my eyes for a second. "I love you, Alexis."

I felt like the world came to a screeching halt. The man in front of me. The man that I had known for years and cared about for nearly as long had just told me he loved me. I never honestly expected to hear it from him, especially not first. He wasn't one to verbalize his feelings. He normally said more with actions than words. I never thought I would care if he said it or not, so long as I knew it. I was wrong. Hearing it was like seeing the light for the first time. He was still looking at me but not in a way that said he was waiting on a response. He was relaxed and his eyes were warm. He was just looking at me with no expectations. I blinked a couple times, coming out of my frozen state. I sprung up to my tiptoes and kissed him full on, paying no mind to my helmet that just barely missed hitting him on the bridge of the nose.

"I love you." I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to say those words to a man that wasn't Hank. It came easily with Happy. There was no trying or forcing it. It just came naturally. I noticed his lips twitch towards a smile before he kissed me again. I closed my eyes and savored the moment, knowing it was once in a lifetime. There would only be one first time.

"Come on, Lexie." Happy offered me his and as he sat on the leather seat of his bike. I carefully climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. We hit the road and flew back towards Charming, the cool night winds whipping at our cheeks. I hid my face behind Happy's back and fought to keep my eyes open. We rolled into the driveway well after midnight and went straight to bed. I fell asleep in his arms, both of us too tired to even consider sex.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" Happy asked as he walked inside the kitchen a few days later. I was folding laundry and didn't have a clue what he was talking about. I put down the scrub top I was holding and looked up at him. "Dinner?"

"Oh, with Jax and Tara? What does it matter? It's just dinner with family." I said, wondering what he was worked up about. He shook his head. "What?"

"She almost got you killed, Alexis." There it was, the grudge he'd been holding for far too long and the answer to his mysterious attitude. I put my hands on my hips, shaking my head at his ridiculousness.

"Happy. This is her house. She's my best friend and my brother's girlfriend. She didn't almost get me killed." I said calmly. I knew that yelling wasn't going to make the argument go any smoother. He set his jaw and shook his head. "This means a lot to me, Happy. I need the two of you to get along at least. You're both too important to me."

"She should have said something sooner. As soon as she knew he was here and why, she was putting both of you in the crosshairs by not telling Jax." Happy said, anger seeping through with every word. I frowned.

"I knew to, Happy. I could have said something sooner to." I said. He wasn't hearing it. He was refusing to put any blame on me. Eventually, after more arguing and make-up sex, he agreed to dinner. I slipped into a modern, black and white dress with blurry floral print and knee high black boots while Happy shaved his he walked out of the bathroom, I was sitting on the end of the bed with my legs outstretched and my ankles crossed.

"Not like you to be late, princess." Jax said, opening the door forty minutes later. I blushed and tried to shrug it off. Jax groaned and shook his head. "I don't want to know. Tara's in the kitchen. Hey brother."

"Hey." Happy said, welcoming Jax's hug. I hurried into the kitchen and hoped that the awkwardness would subside once dinner was served. Tara was holding Abel on her hip and trying to open the oven at the same time. My heels clicked on the tile floor as I rushed over and took Abel to help her out. He giggled a little and grabbed at my hair.

"Thanks. I probably would have burnt myself or dropped the food." Tara said, reaching in and pulling a pan of garlic toast out of the oven. Once the pan was safely on the counter, she turned to look at me. "Well, I'm under dressed."

"I just wanted to wear something different. You look great." I said, swinging my hip into hers. She rolled her eyes as I started bouncing Abel up and down on my other hip. "How's my favorite man doing?"

"He's about to go to bed. We had our bottle and was almost sleepy when Aunt Alexis came zooming in." Tara teased. I chuckled and blew a raspberry on Abel's cheek. He giggled and grabbed at my nose. "You're a natural with him."

"I had a month long rotation in Pediatrics when I thought I wanted to specialize in that. I'm too soft. I couldn't take the negative outcomes." I said, rocking Abel slowly in hopes that he would calm back down for Tara. It was like looking into smaller version of Jax's eyes. Abel was going to be a spitting image of him. His eyes started to close slowly.

"Don't drop my son." Jax said, kissing my cheek while he walked up to the refrigerator to get some beers. I scoffed and held him close. Jax laughed and passed a beer to Happy. "Tara, do you want me to put him down?"

"Please, Jax. This is almost done." Tara said, stirring pasta sauce. I quickly volunteered to help Jax, leaving Happy and Tara alone in the kitchen. Jax walked alongside me.

"Piney found another copy of Dad's manuscript in the bottom of some old trunk." Jax said, turning on the nursery light. "I'm trying to change things. It's just not easy with Clay and some of the others."

"By the others you mean Tig. What happened with you two anyways?" I asked. After Donna's funeral, I had noticed that Tig's face was also cut up. Obviously it was more than just a difference of opinions between Jax and Tig. He shook his head and became tight lipped. "Look, it didn't turn into this in a day and you can't fix it in a day."

"It would be a hell of a lot easier with Opie around." Jax said. Opie had hit the road as soon as Donna's wake was over, leaving his two kids in the care of his mother Mary. History repeated itself though and Mary had ditched the kids and went back to wherever it is she ran off to. Now Piney was toting the kids around like a respectable grandpa. "Is he treating you right?"

"What? Yeah, of course." I meant every word. We'd had a few disagreements but that wasn't anything new for us. We didn't stay mad though. We never tried to hurt one another physically or verbally. I couldn't see myself being any happier.

"Good." Jax said with a nod. We put Abel to bed and quietly returned to the kitchen where Tara and Happy we're talking about the Cutlass. She was defending its original engine while Happy tried to convince her that swapping it out was a great idea. There was no winning that fight for either one of them. Jax chuckled and positioned himself behind Tara, wrapping his arms around her tightly. I smiled as he kissed her neck.

"Jax, if you make the food burn." Tara half threatened. He shook his head and nuzzled his nose against her ear. I saw how happy she looked and felt complete. My family was happy. I was happy. I had a wonderful man in my life. I couldn't find anything to be negative about.

Three weeks went by and I almost didn't even recognize my life. Things were fairly calm in Charming for once. I started working at Saint Thomas and loved the change of pace. I could focus on patients more exclusively instead of just finishing up one to move on to the next. Lunches with Tara was icing on the cake.

"Jax is dragging me to the party tonight. Please tell me you're going." Tara said, sitting down at our usual lunch table in the cafeteria. I nodded, pushing my salad around unenthusiastically. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm just not in the mood for salad. I didn't sleep well last night. Happy didn't get in from Tacoma until late and I don't sleep great when he's on the road alone." I explained, finally putting my fork down in surrender. Tara nodded and offered me half of her sandwich. "Why don't you want to go to the party?"

"I'm not like you, Lexie. I stick out like a sore thumb and it's like a war zone with the other women." I rolled my eyes. Tara had become self conscious recently for reasons that were beyond me. She was worried that Jax was cheating on her, despite my constant reassurance. I couldn't really blame her too much. Jax didn't have a good track record.

"You're Jax's old lady, Tara Knowles. Any of those whores give you problems then all you have to do is remind them of that. I suggest actions over words but it's up to you." I said with a little laugh. Tara smiled and leaned back in her chair with a sigh.

"I just wish Jax was a little more like Happy. He doesn't leave anyone wondering if he's up for sides. I thought Julie was going to cry when he brushed her off." Tara said, referring to the last time we were all at the clubhouse playing pool. Julie had sauntered up to Happy while I was helping Mom with something. According to Tara, Happy gave her a look that could kill and threatened to cut any part of her that came near him. I had a feeling she was padding the story a little but the threat seemed genuine enough for him.

"Just trust him, Tara. I'll castrate him if he does anything stupid so you'll probably know right away." I promised with a bright smile. That did it. She relaxed and smiled brightly, getting back to her lunch.

"You're sure you don't want any?" I shook my head, turning her down again. We talked about Abel and work for the rest of the hour. After that, I scrubbed in for a hernia surgery that I could practically do in my sleep.

"Hey, I didn't think I'd see you until tonight." I said, a little startled to see Happy standing in my temporary office. I closed the door in case whatever he was here to tell me was not for eager ears. He slid his hands down from my sides to my hips as I walked up to him. "What's wrong?"

"Just wanted to see you." He rasped, kissing my neck just below my ear. I moaned and leaned into him, unable to suppress my reactions. "You stink."

"I just got out of a hernia surgery." I explained. Wrinkled his nose before I caught his lips with mine. "Jax told Tara you were having a big vote today."

"They did. I'm still Nomad, baby. I don't vote on official stuff." He said before interrupting to conversation with another, deeper kiss. I pulled back after a minute, nearly breathless. He had a cocky smirk on his face.

"I have a few follow-up's to do and then I'll be done." I said with a yawn. He nodded, letting his hands drop from my hips to his sides. "Do you want to pre-game for the party?"

"Pre-game?" Happy asked. I gave him a wicked smile and recognition flashed in his eyes. I shot him a wink before opening my office door. "I'll let you know when I leave."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Got to help Opie with something." He didn't say exactly what that something was but I had a suspicion that it had to do with payback for Donna's death. There was still a lot of tension between Jax and Tig and it had also spread to include Clay as well. I couldn't help thinking that something wasn't right. That someone was hiding the truth about what had happened that night. I told myself I didn't want to know. I didn't want that weighing on me.

I finished up my rounds and charts before heading out to the parking lot. I noticed a familiar truck but then again, every truck in Charming was familiar. I kept walking without paying it any further attention. The truck's lights turned on just as I reached my car. I covered my eyes and squinted to see who was in the truck with the blinding lights. The truck revved up and I got inside my car quickly. It flew by me, narrowly missing the front of my car. My chest rose and fell quickly, unable to catch a deep breath.


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, lovely readers, this chapter has a content warning. This features Bobby's welcome home party and an assault similar to what happened to Gemma afterwards. With that being said, thank you very much for the reviews and support! I apologize for the delay in how long it took for me to post.**

Chapter 21

I felt like I had just gotten in my car when my phone started ringing. My hands were shaking as I dug through my bag to find it. It was hard to keep my hand steady enough to answer Happy's call.

"Hey, I thought you'd beat me home. You okay?" He asked. I still couldn't seem to get my throat working enough to swallow or speak. The clock on my radio didn't seem right. There was no way I had been sitting in my car for nearly an hour. I ran my free hand over my face, trying to get a grip. I wasn't hurt. I was fine.

"Yeah. I got caught up at the hospital. I'll be there in ten minutes." I said, hearing the shake in my voice. I didn't wait for his response and ended the call. I threw the car in reverse and headed home, telling myself not to make a big deal out of it every few yards. Once I was in the driveway, I felt pretty calm. My breathing and heartbeat had regulated and I felt less paralyzed.

"Hey." Happy said, studying me closely as I walked in and put my stuff away in the coat closet. I gave him a tight smile, hoping it was convincing enough. "Did something happen?"

"No. I just lost track of time and got caught up at work." I didn't mean to sound so defensive and bitter. His eyes widened but he didn't say anything else. A few moments later, I took a deep breath and walked over to him. "I'm sorry. It was just a really long day."

"Don't lie to me, Lexie." He searched my face for anything that would give away everything I was holding back. I distracted him by slamming my mouth onto his. It only took him half a second to respond to my kiss. He grabbed the bottom of my scrub top and pulled it up over my head, tossing it onto the couch. "You still stink."

"Well, why don't we move this into the shower then? You can wash my hair." I winked and took his hand, leading him down the hallway.

"I don't keep hair for a reason." He grumbled, grabbing the hair-tie out of my hair. I felt him wrap it around his hand and tug back gently. I giggled and slowed down, letting him catch up and press his chest against my back. "You're perfect, Alexis."

"Your dirty talk could use improvement." I teased. He huffed and smacked my bottom with a pop. I smirked and pulled him into the bedroom and through to the bathroom.

By the time we got to the party, I had all but forgotten about what had happened in the parking lot. I was ready to have a good time at Bobby's 'Welcome Home' party. Happy was smug about getting laid twice before the party and rode onto the lot like he owned it. I shook my hair out after taking my helmet off.

"You better behave in that outfit." Happy growled, grabbing a handful of my ass as he hugged me. I laughed and kissed his cheek. My pants were tighter than I would ever wear outside of the bedroom or a clubhouse party and my boots came up to above my knee with a good three inch heel. I wanted to leave something to the imagination though, so my shirt was loose and flowing. The lace back was the sexiest thing about it.

"Most of the people here are family or female. You don't have to worry." I said with a smile. Happy grunted and looped his arm over my shoulders. Jax and Tara were standing by the bar talking to Mom. She didn't look happy but that wasn't exactly abnormal when she was around Tara. It made me sad that she couldn't just be happy that Jax was happy. Tara looked tense. "Mom, it's a party. What's with the angry face?"

"I don't have an angry face, Alexis." Mom said, avoiding giving me any real answer. I raised my brow with suspicion but she ignored it. "I'll talk to you about this later, Jax."

"Well, that looked fun. What's she mad about now?" I asked, grabbing a bottle of water from behind the bar. Tara rolled her eyes and Jax shook his head. Obviously things were as bad as I thought.

"She's pissed that we're getting someone to help with Abel. She said if I was a real mother, I should be able to raise him myself." Tara said tersely. I nodded slowly. Mom hated the idea of strangers raising children. I saw it as a way to make sure children got the attention they needed without putting a strain on the family. It may be different if they were sending Abel off to some boarding school or something.

"She'll be okay. Come on, it's a party." I said, shaking her shoulder with a smile. She didn't look like she was in the mood to party but I was determined to change that. After a few minutes of my begging and pleading, she agreed to play a game of pool. It was girls vs boys.

"You're going to lose." I whispered into Happy's ear as he lined up a shot. He ignored me, so I nipped his earlobe. He scratched his shot and the cue ball went rolling into the far corner pocket. I had a Cheshire grin and pink cheeks when he turned around to scowl at me. "I told you."

"You're going to pay for that later." He growled, slapping my butt. I laughed and scuttled off to take my shot. Happy smirked and had a mischievous look in his eyes. I blinked and looked back at the pool table. I couldn't concentrate knowing that he was looking at me. I looked up to yell at him and saw him lick his lips. I groaned.

"Damnit. You're such an ass." I told him, missing my shot. It wasn't such a fail as Happy's shot was, but I was still frustrated. Tara laughed and leaned against Jax. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing the top of her head. "You two are adorable."

"Shut up." Jax said, still smiling like he'd won the biggest prize at the carnival. "When is my son going to have a cousin?"

"God, you're as bad as Mom." I said with a groan. Mom had asked me when she was going to get another grandchild back in Atlanta. Everyone seemed to be ready for us to skip all the dating and courtship and get right to popping out kids. I wasn't ready for that. I was having fun just being together. Happy didn't really comment on it other than telling me he would always be selfish with me. "I'm going to smoke."

"Sounds good." Happy said, following me outside the clubhouse and onto the lot. He offered me his lighter and a cigarette. "You good?"

"Yeah. I'm just tired of people trying to rush us." I said with a shrug. He nodded silently, lighting up a cigarette of his own. After a few minutes, it seemed like more of the party was outside than in. Suddenly, the music was turned down and the atmosphere shifted. "Who is that?"

"I don't know. Stay behind me." Happy said, making his way through the crowd. There were two black sedans that had pulled onto the lot. A man in a suit with white hair stepped out of the back seat of the first car followed by three men that seemed like his body guards. Everyone was tense. These men weren't local and they didn't look like they came for the party. Clay exchanged words with the white-haired man for a couple minutes before things got heated. Happy stepped forward and was toe to toe with one of the body-guard looking guys. I felt like someone dropped a brick down into my stomach.

"Gentlemen, we only came here as a courtesy. There's no need for anyone to get hurt." I glared at the man and wanted to choke him out. He'd told Clay in no uncertain terms to stop doing business with anyone of a different race or there would be issues. The club didn't take well to being threatened. The man started to turn to leave but suddenly stopped when he saw me. I felt like I was going to be sick. He gave me a little nod and got into his car.

"Hap, don't." Jax said as he moved towards the car. I felt light headed. Jax caught my arm as I started to sway. "Get Lexie inside."

"You know that piece of shit?" Happy asked, half carrying me inside. I shook my head. I didn't know him but he did look familiar, like I'd seen him in passing somewhere. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I think I would remember a racist son of a bitch like that." The room started spinning. "I think I'm going to be sick."

I fell onto my knees in front of the toilet just in time. Happy was stunned for a minute but then he sprang into action, grabbing me a cold wash cloth and holding my hair back. My mascara got into my eyes and they started to sting and water as Happy rubbed my back. I hated getting sick. I was the one that was supposed to take care of people, not the other way around.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, wiping my face off. He shook his head and kissed my forehead. I felt exhausted from vomiting and just wanted to go home. Happy convinced me to stay at the clubhouse instead of trying to make it home on the bike instead.

"Drink too much last night?" Tara asked as I shuffled into the kitchen to get some coffee. I grumbled at her teasing and reached for a mug. "Need a ride to the hospital?"

"Ugh, maybe as a patient. I didn't even drink last night. Think you can just take me to your house so I can take a shower and get my car?" I said, pouring a cup of coffee with a big yawn. Tara opened her mouth but then closed it sharply. I narrowed my eyes while taking a drink. "Don't be one of those people. A woman can be sick and not be pregnant."

"Yeah, I know." Tara said, failing at sounding the least bit convinced. "Do you need to take a sick day?"

"No. Just need coffee and a quick shower. Let me grab my bag out of Happy's room and we can go." I said, opening the swinging kitchen door with my back. Tara nodded and followed me into the main room. She took a seat at the bar as I headed down the hall. Happy was awake and getting dressed when I walked into the room. "Hey."

"Hey." He said, looking me over. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired." I said, grabbing my bag. He nodded and caught my wrist, tugging me into a hug. I rested my head against his chest and took a deep breath. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Always will, Lexie." He said, pressing a kiss to my lips before letting me go. I sighed and stepped away, knowing if I stayed any longer I wouldn't leave.

"Let's go." I muttered to Tara as I passed her. She handed me a travel cup of hot coffee with a smile. "Thank you."

My mind couldn't get into gear. Everything felt cloudy. I excused myself from scrubbing in on a surgery that I really would have loved to assist with. I knew it wouldn't have been in the patient's best interest to have me in the operating room. I worked on charts and rounds, mostly keeping to myself. My stomach was still bothering me despite the medicine and bland food.

"Hey, I'm heading out early. Thanks for the ride home this morning." I told Tara as she walked out of a patient room. She nodded and gave me a quick hug.

I felt bad about going home early but knew that I wasn't doing much service at the hospital. I promised Margaret that I was going to get some rest and come into work early the next day to catch up on rounds and paperwork. She told me it wasn't necessary but I insisted. I sent Happy a quick text letting him know I was going home before I got into the car.

Less than a mile from home, a mini-van bumped into me at the stop sign. I groaned and tossed my seatbelt off. A young blonde girl ran up to my window screaming and crying. The accident wasn't bad enough for that reaction. I got out of the car and looked her over. She looked fine.

"Please! Please! My baby's not breathing!" The girl screamed, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards her van. I rushed over, knowing that it was crucial the baby got help as soon as possible. The sliding door was open so I leaned right in to check on the child. By the time I moved the blanket and saw that it was a doll, it was too late. She hit me over the head with something and the world started spinning.

"I told you to get Morrow's wife." I heard a voice say. My hands were cuffed onto a fence so high that my arms were fully extended above my head and my shoes barely grazed the ground. I kept my eyes closed, hoping they wouldn't realize I was coming to. "Who is she?"

"Her last name is Teller. It's on her badge. She's family, it'll work." Another man said, sounding timid. I bit the inside of my cheeks, fighting the urge to cry out for help. "Look, if it doesn't work I'll get the old woman next."

"Go ahead and get it done. We will just have to make this work." The other voice said. The voices sounded muffled, like they were in a different room. I heard foot steps and my bottom lip started to tremble. The smell of cheap cologne hit my nose and my eyes shot open. I shook my head and pressed my back against the fence, trying to get as far away as possible. The man standing in front of me was wearing a cheap, Halloween-like mask but I could still see his broad smile.

"Scream as much as you want. No one is going to hear you. We don't mind." My eyes widened. What did he mean, we? A door opened somewhere but the man was holding my face so I couldn't turn to look. Two more men showed up in similar white masks. I kicked out. I knew if I didn't fight now, I wouldn't have a chance to later. They laughed and moved in. The two men that had just showed up each grabbed one of my legs while the other man watched. My heart was racing. "This is going to hurt."

I could hear blood pounding in my ears over an hour after they'd left me. My face was swollen from punches meant to subdue me. I fought as long as I could but my body gave up. I couldn't move. I tried to think about something else but all I could think about was how much I hurt and how I'd ended up that way. They'd taken turns at first but eventually that wasn't good enough. When they were done, they hung me back up on fence and left.

"Tell Morrow to stop doing business with color or this will happen again." That threat from the shortest man played over and over in my head. For some reason, knowing that what had happened was about the club made it even worse. It wasn't random or even personal. It was just a way to hurt the club. I refused to give them that satisfaction. I wasn't going to be a carrier pigeon to deliver messages to the club. I wasn't going to be a weakness for them.

"Alexis? Alexis?" I opened my eyes and saw shiny black boots at the end of khaki covered legs. I groaned and managed a little nod. "Dispatch, I need an ambulance to my location, now! Lexie, you're going to be okay. Who did this?"

"Dunno." I coughed. I wasn't going to tell anyone, especially not Hale. My arms felt like lead when he unlocked the handcuffs. I had no strength. If he hadn't caught me, I would have fallen right down. I crossed my arms over my chest, embarrassed that my bra was exposed to him. "Jax."

"I'll call him when the ambulance gets here." I nodded. I needed my big brother to tell me I was going to be okay like he had when we were little kids. "What happened?"

"If you have to ask, I want my taxes back." I managed. My throat felt like it was on fire. Hale sighed and patted my shoulder. I started wondering if Opie's mom hadn't been right about me being a fool for staying in Charming. I wasn't happy in Atlanta but at least I was safe. Anything that happened there would at least be random. "What time is it?"

"Just before midnight. How long have you been here?" Hale asked, fishing for information. I shook my head, refusing to give him anything. "Let me help you, Alexis."

"It's a little late for that." I said before the ambulance turned the corner and the sirens nearly deafened me. The EMT's hurried in with a backboard and first responder kits. I recognized one of them from dropping of patients in the ER. "Funny seeing you here."

"Doc? Damn." He said, looking sick. I must have looked even worse than I felt. He did the normal routine of telling me I would be okay and telling me he was going to help me. It was like muscle memory. I didn't need to hear it. I knew the drill. The ambulance ride was awkward. The EMT I knew didn't want to ask me the personal questions so he drove and the older guy just monitored my vitals and kept reassuring me I was going to be okay. He didn't know that. He didn't have the authority or knowledge to promise me that. I knew it was just something to say to keep patients calm. Still, it bothered me because I didn't believe him.

"Hey." Tara said, walking inside my private room after the doctor finished her exams. I was just waiting for a few more stitches. I offered her a small smile. "Everyone's asking if you're okay. I don't know what to tell them."

"Is Jax here?" I asked, unsure of what to tell them myself. She nodded. "Do you think you can bring him back? I really need to see him."

"Yeah, of course. Do you want me to bring Happy back before I get Jax?" I shook my head. I wasn't ready to see Happy. I wasn't ready to face him after what happened. I saw the frown starting at the corners of her mouth but she recovered quickly and turned for the door. I knew Happy wasn't going to take not coming back to see me well. I felt guilty for sending Tara into the lion's den.

There was a knock on the door less than a minute after Tara left. I knew it was too fast to be Jax. A second later, the doctor that had done my exams walked in with my chart. I didn't like the way she looked at me. It was the way I looked at patients when I had bad news. I sat up straight, ready to get it over with.

" , were you aware that you are pregnant?" I blinked. What was she talking about, pregnant. I wasn't due for another birth control shot for a month. There was no way I could be pregnant. I shook my head slowly. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I want to go ahead and get an ultrasound and make sure the baby is okay."

"No." I said flatly. She raised her brow at me, obviously surprised. "I don't want an ultrasound. I need you to schedule me an appointment with the clinic."

"You don't want to think about this? Maybe talk with the father first?" She asked, sounding defeated. I felt like there was a tennis ball in my throat when I shook my head. "Okay. I'll make a call."

"Thanks." I said. My voice sounded hollow. I wasn't ready for a child. Even if I was, how could I bring a child into the world after being assaulted like that? It would have to affect the baby in some way. I couldn't do it. I was going to take care of it and never mention it again. Happy didn't need to know. He didn't need to feel guilty for asking me to do what I was already planning on doing myself.

"Hey Princess." I looked up to see Jax standing in the doorway. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. For some reason, seeing Jax broke down all the defenses I'd been working so hard to keep up for the past couple hours. He hurried over and took my hand, letting me cry into his sweatshirt. I hurt all over and I was scared. I was terrified that it was all going to happen again and again. "I'm right here, Lexie. Nothing's going to hurt you."

"I can't do it." I said, sobbing. Jax pressed his lips to my forehead and tried to smooth my matted hair. I didn't even know if I was crying about what happened or about the baby.

"Alexis, you're not alone. I'm here for you and so is Tara and Happy and Mom and everyone else. You don't have to do anything alone, sweetheart." I nodded against his chest and kept crying until I was too tired to keep my eyes open anymore. "Get some rest, Lexie. Hap's going to drive you home when they release you but we'll all be in the waiting room if you need anything, okay?"

"Thank you." I said before drifting off to sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n: This chapter was originally going to be longer but I felt like it made more sense to break it where I did! Hopefully you all still enjoy this story, I feel like it's not getting as much traffic as it was. Alas, I will keep writing as long as some of you still like it! Cute scene with Jax/Tara and Happy/Alexis in the next chapter as well as a feisty side of Alexis! Enjoy!**

Chapter 22

"Hey sweetheart." Mom said, walking in just as I started to wake up. I expected Happy to be there. I didn't bother trying to fake a smile. There wasn't much to smile about. "Who ever did this is going to pay, Alexis."

"Why? So they can retaliate and the cycle keeps repeating itself?" I asked, staring at the purple bruises around my wrists. Mom frowned and took a couple steps toward me. "I don't want anyone I care about getting hurt because of this. It wouldn't make me feel any better."

"Alexis, why don't we worry about that later, okay? I'm so sorry this happened. You're my little girl. Nothing bad is supposed to happen to you and it seems like only bad has been happening recently." Mom's bottom lip started to tremble.

"That's not true. I'm back with my family, I have a good job, and I have a man that loves me. It's not all been bad. The bad has just been really bad." I admitted. Mom managed to smile a little as she carefully tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I know Hank was a good man and you loved him but I'm not going to lie and say you and Happy aren't a good match. I see the way you two are together. I'm glad to have him as part of the family." Mom's voice was soft and calming. I felt my bottom lip start to tremble this time. Her eyes widened with concern. "What's wrong? Do you need the doctor?"

"Mom, can you please find Happy? I really need to see him." I sobbed. She gave me a sad smile and nodded.

"Just so you know, he was back here all night." I blinked a couple times. He'd been in the room while I slept? He was always so quiet. "Tara pulled a couple of strings. Maybe she's not too bad after all. I'll go get him."

When he walked into the room, I lost everything I'd been planning to say to him. As soon as his warm brown eyes met mine, I couldn't hold onto the shield I'd kept up with Mom. He rushed over as I slumped forward with violent sobs and tears gushing down my cheeks. His warm arms wrapped around me, barely making contact with my bruised and battered body. He pressed his mouth onto the top of my head, careful to keep away from where I'd originally been struck on the side of the road.

"Lexie, talk to me. Tell me what you need." His voice was full of desperation. I cried harder for a few minutes. Slowly, my body ran out of steam and I couldn't cry anymore. Happy still held me, silently waiting for me to open up to him. I felt sick, despite the nausea medicine Dr. Starnes had given me.

"I'm sorry." I croaked. Happy didn't move but I felt his body tense up. "I should have known something wasn't right."

"Alexis. Why are you blaming yourself and apologizing to me for what those sons of bitches did? You didn't do anything wrong. Hale said the girl told you her baby wasn't breathing. You're a doctor, Lexie. Of course you were going to go help." Happy said, misunderstanding my apology. I closed my eyes and slowly sat up, coming face to face with him. I shook my head and swallowed hard, hoping my stomach would leave my throat and go back where it belonged.

"It's not that." I took a deep, rib searing breath. I couldn't not tell him. I couldn't keep a pregnancy to myself. He was part of it, even if it wasn't going to progress into something more. I had thought up a whole speech in the minutes between Mom leaving and Happy coming into the room. Those eyes though. Those eyes broke me down. I found myself wondering if our child would have those same warm eyes. I shook my head. It was stupid to think like that when we weren't going to have the baby.

"Lexie, what?" Happy said. I could tell he was somewhere between worried and agitated. I swallowed my nerves and licked my dry, cracked lips.

"When Dr. Starnes did blood panels and everything to make sure I wasn't going to have any long-lasting physical-" I stopped. I needed to get to the point before I just talked around it. "I'm pregnant. I don't know how my shot failed but I'm going to take care of it."

"Take care of it? What are you talking about?" He was speaking slower than normal. I could tell he was thinking and processing everything that had happened and the bomb I'd just dropped on him. He blinked and stood up. His arms fell to his side slowly. "That's it? You tell me you're pregnant and you're getting rid of it in the same sentence? Why even tell me if you've got everything figured out?"

"I just thought you should know. I didn't want to keep it from you." I knew he would be upset. It was upsetting news.

"Why? You're keeping any part of the decision from me. You didn't think it was something we should talk about together? You didn't get pregnant by yourself. It's not just your kid." I blinked. That wasn't the reason I thought he would be upset. "Damnit, Alexis."

"Happy, we can't have a baby." I said slowly. He scoffed and threw his hands up.

"Why the fuck not, Alexis? Only reason I see is because you already decided against it. Fuck, I guess a fireman's kid would have been different than some biker's kid." I was shocked. Was that what he really thought? Did he think I didn't want the baby because it was his and not Hank's?

"Happy, you can't think that! Why would that matter?" I was panicking. He was headed for the door and I was hooked up to one to many IV's to just rip out and follow him. I wasn't sure if I could stand on my own to do that anyways. "Stop!"

He turned around and I saw what I never thought I would see when I told him I was pregnant. His eyes were glassy with tears. I felt about two inches tall. What had I done? Why didn't I just tell him and we come to a decision together. That's what couples were supposed to do, make decisions together when it was something like that.

"Do you want to have a baby, Happy?" I started taking my IV's out when he turned back towards the door. So what if I fell when I tried to get out of the bed? What was one more broken bone? "Happy!"

"What are you doing?" He growled when he saw that I had my IV's out and my legs swung over the bed.

"Getting ready to follow you until you talk to me." I said, breathless from the energy I'd already exerted. He shook his head and walked back to the side of the bed. "Please, talk to me."

"I don't know, Alexis. I don't know if I want a kid. I just know if I ever wanted one it would be with you." He said, helping me bring my legs back up on the bed before he sat down on the end of the bed.

"Do you really think it has anything to do with who you are? Happy, I love you." I said, wishing he could just be the cold killer for a few minutes. I loved the side of him that he reserved for me but I felt horrible for hurting him.

"Lexie, I know you wanted kids. You said it yourself in the cemetery." So he really had heard more than I'd wanted him to.

"My decision didn't change because of you, Happy. I'm scared to bring a child into this. I don't want something like this or worse happening to them. The club comes with risks. I was born into that and I accepted it when I came back. I can't force that onto a child." I felt my throat getting drier and drier as I thought about all the reasons why we shouldn't have a child. It was breaking my heart.

"Alexis. The day you decided to stay in Charming was the day it became my job to take care of you. I should have had someone meet you at the hospital before you left." His fist clenched around the hospital blanket tightly. "I can't promise you bad things won't happen, baby. That wouldn't be any different if we were here or a thousand miles away. I'll always do everything I can to protect you though, Alexis. The same would have gone for our child."

"Maybe we should take some time to think about it. It's still pretty early. We don't have to make a decision right now." I said, putting my hand over his fist. He looked up at me with a furrowed brow.

"Wait, you haven't already taken a pill or whatever it is you have to do?" He asked. I shook my head and his whole body relaxed for a second. "Do you know what it is?"

"Babe, I'm maybe four weeks at the most." I could tell by the look on his face that the time frame didn't mean anything to him. I smiled. "We wouldn't know for about three more months."

"Oh, okay. When do we need to decide?" He asked, moving his hand out from under mine and lacing his fingers in with mine. I shrugged.

"Technically, not for about five months. I don't want to go past the first trimester without deciding though. It's complicated and gross." I took a deep breath, shaking the thought out of my head. "We have a few weeks."

"Okay." He said with a nod. We were silent for a minute before his eyes started darkening. "Who were they? I'm not going to make it quick and painless for them."

"Slow down, killer. I don't know who they were. This is exactly what I was talking about though. Say you killed them. Then their friends will want payback and then the club is in this never ending war." I said.

"There's no war if you take out all of the enemies at the beginning." Happy muttered. I couldn't help but laugh. He could be so obstinate. "When can you come home?"

"Later today." I said with a yawn. He nodded and moved up onto the bed, lying down beside me carefully. I smiled and moved to kiss him, hesitating when I thought about whether it would bother him to kiss me so soon after what had happened. He answered my question by giving me several, quick kisses and when I finally reacted, he deepened he kiss. He pulled back and brushed his lips against my less swollen cheek.

"Get some sleep so we can get out of here." He said, closing his own eyes. I doubted that he'd slept at all when he was in the room earlier. I kept my eyes closed until his breathing leveled out and his body relaxed. I couldn't sleep with everything going through my mind. I watched him sleeping peacefully, enjoying every rare minute.

I tried to go back to what was normal life for me in the days following the assault. I was adamant about not being a victim. I wasn't going to let what happened change my life. That's what I told myself as the bruises turned yellow and green and the sharp pains started to subside into dull aches. I told myself that I was stronger than what happened. I even had myself believing that it didn't have anything to do with my family or the club. I almost stopped hearing the message the man had wanted me to deliver to the club playing over and over in my head.

"You sure you're ready to go back to work?" Happy asked from the comfort of our new bed as I stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a dark grey towel. I nodded, pausing to give him a kiss on the cheek before I got dressed. I felt his eyes on me as I loosened the strings on my scrub bottoms. We hadn't talked about the baby much since I got home. Happy had been busy with the club and I had been busy doing anything but thinking about the baby and what happened. "How much longer do we have?"

"Five or six weeks." I said, hoping this wasn't the time he'd chosen to discuss it. I was already running late. He nodded and sat up, ready to talk. Luckily, his phone started vibrating on the nightstand. I saw his eyes roll as he flipped it open. After pulling my hair up into a high pony-tail, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed out of the room while he talked on the phone and got dressed.

It felt great to be back at work. I could focus on things that were completely outside of myself. Even a routine gall bladder surgery made me smile. It was nice to be able to fix something and make someone's life easier or less painful. The day flew by and I was a little sad when it came to an end.

"Lexie, can you come to the clubhouse with me?" Tara said, hurrying down the hall behind me. I quickened my pace to keep up with her.

"Yeah, what's going on?" I felt my heart start to race. Happy's phone call didn't seem to be going well when I was leaving this morning and I hadn't heard from him all day. "Tara!"

"Jax said someone got shot. I don't know who, Lexie." Tara said, tossing her medical bag into my backseat. I jumped in the drivers seat and threw the car into reverse before Tara's door was even closed. I paused at the red light and peeled out of the parking lot. "Lexie, if we get stopped it's only going to slow us down."

"We aren't going to get stopped." I muttered, turning sharply. Tara clung onto the dash and glared at me. I didn't care. I didn't bother parking in a spot when we got to the clubhouse. I just left my car sitting in the middle of the lot, barely even taking the time to put it in park and turn the engine off. We rushed inside to see Bobby laying on one of the pool tables. I doubled over, bracing my hands on my knees.

"Alexis." Happy said, hurrying over from where he'd been holding Bobby down. I lifted a hand, telling him to give me a second to recover. As soon as Tara had asked me to come with her, all I could picture was him or Jax lying on that table with a lot worse wound than what Bobby had. I stood up, inhaling deeply. "You okay?"

"I thought it was you or Jax. I thought." He shook his head and pulled me into a tight hug. I squeezed him tightly before stepping back. "I need to help Tara."

"Okay." He let me go and I hurried over to Bobby. I thought Bobby was going to take a swing at Tara when she poured hydrogen peroxide over the wound to clean it before going in for the bullet.

"Hey, tough guy. Bite down on this." I rolled a washcloth up and put it into his mouth. "Tara, I can get it if you want."

"Good, I got the last one." She said, handing me the scalpel. I laughed and positioned myself over Bobby's shoulder. He groaned and clamped down on the washcloth as I opened the wound to get the bullet out. Tara passed me the clamps and I pulled the bullet out. Bobby whimpered and I kissed his forehead.

"You'll be okay. It missed anything important." I said, dropping the bullet into a bowl on the table before I started closing him up. "Next time you may want to dodge bullets, not just stand there and get shot."

"That's what I told him." Tig said, shaking his head with a hesitant smile. I finished up and went down the hall to the bathroom to clean myself up. Happy followed me in and closed the door.

"You were right about not having a kid." Happy said, catching me completely off guard. I turned off the water and looked up at him. I didn't know what to say. "I'll go with you."

"Go with me where? Happy, when I saw you standing in there, I realized I can't be without you." I took a deep breath and looked down at my sneakers that were almost toe to toe with his boots. "I know it's crazy and reckless and selfish but I want us to have this baby. I want to have a family with you, Happy."

"Lexie, you just pulled a bullet out of Bobby's shoulder. That could have just as easily been me." He said, pulling my chin up so I had to look at him.

"I know. That's why I don't want to wait. There's never going to be a better time. It's not like things are going to get any easier. If you don't want this then we won't do it but if you're-" He crashed his mouth onto mine and picked me up by the back of my thighs. I moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist. His mouth moved down my neck and I couldn't breathe. "Hap-py. Wait. Stop."

"What's wrong?" He said, breathless. I frowned and his shoulders fell. I bit my lip as it started to quiver. We hadn't had sex since I was attacked. I was cleared, medically. I was just worried. I was afraid it would bring back memories or it wouldn't' be the same and he wouldn't want me anymore. "Baby, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know that." I snapped. That was the last thing I was worried about. I kissed him and tried to pick up where we'd left off. I stopped again. "Do you think we could go home and not do this in the clubhouse bathroom?"

"If that's what you want, Alexis." He opened the door and I took a deep breath. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to get it over with and move on to having mind-blowing sex like we did before. I just didn't know if I could.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello again! All your reviews made me feel so great that I was able to get this chapter knocked out sooner than I expected. This chapter will no doubt raise some concerns for my Jax/Tara shippers. Never fear, dears. Never fear.**

Chapter 23

"Wake up." I pounced on Happy, trying to wake him up for the third time. He grunted and tried to roll over to his side. I shook my head, sending water from my wet hair down onto his face. He slowly opened his eyes with a mean scowl. "Oh stop. You can't scare me. Get up."

"Why am I getting up? What time is it?" He asked, tugging on the bottom of my towel. I pursed my lips and folded my arms across my chest. "What?"

"We're going riding with Jax and Tara, remember?" I whined. He rolled his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. "Happy Lowman, get your ass up."

"Little girl, I may like you and you may be carrying my kid but you're pushing it." He growled. I laughed and he looked at me with one raised eyebrow. "You think I'm kidding?"

He rolled quickly, forcing me onto my back beneath him. I swallowed hard. His tattooed chest hovered over me as he glared down into my eyes. I bit my bottom lip. I thought for a moment that I had actually crossed a line and pissed him off. That was before he dipped his head down and kissed my neck. I smirked and ran my hands up his muscular arms. He trailed kisses further down, quickly undoing my towel so that I was completely exposed beneath him. He stopped kissing me for a minute and cupped a breast with his large hand.

"You're beautiful, Alexis." He muttered as he kissed my lips. I smiled and brought my hand up to his cheek. He had two or three days worth of stubble and I could see that some of it was starting to gray. I remembered the dark goatee that he'd had when I first met him. It seemed like lifetimes ago.

"I love you." I whispered. He kissed my palm and moved to show me just how much he loved me to. All of my fears about him not wanting to be with me after I was assaulted seemed so silly. When we got back from the clubhouse I was so scared that he'd notice something different or be turned off that someone else had touched me. We took it slow. He was gentle and I opened up to him, letting him know what I was feeling.

"You always make us late." I told Happy as we got on his Harley. I felt him chuckle and I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I meant, smartass."

"Shut up and hold on, woman." He said, squeezing my thigh. What I had thought would be a morning quickie turned into almost an hour of sex. I wouldn't complain if I didn't hate being late. Still, the sex outweighed our tardiness. I just liked to give him a hard time.

We met Jax and Tara at their house and headed East. Jax and Happy rode side by side, so Tara and I ended up sharing a lot of giddy smiles and laughs. It felt great just to enjoy the day. We were just two couples going out on a double-date. If it wasn't for Jax and Happy's kuttes, I don't think anyone would have thought twice about it if they saw us riding down the road.

Jax pulled his bike off the road and stopped beneath a large evergreen. Happy stopped beside him, kicking the ground to make sure it was hard enough to support the weight of his bike when it leaned on the kickstand.

"Mmm grapes." I said, taking the bowl that Tara unloaded from the backpack she had brought with their half of the pic-nick She laughed and continued emptying the bag as I popped a couple grapes in my mouth. Jax raised his brow at me expectantly, so I went ahead and unloaded my bag to.

"So, were you late for the usual reason?" Tara asked quietly. We'd finished eating and Jax and Happy went over to the bikes to talk about exhausts. I felt my cheeks redden a little as I nodded. "It felt okay? You didn't hurt?"

"No, doc. I didn't hurt and it felt more than okay. I was nervous last night but this morning was just like before. Hot and amazing." I said with a little laugh. It was Tara's time to blush as she nodded. We turned back to our books as the guys continued their debate over by the bikes.

"Homework?" Jax asked. Tara shook her head and held her book up so he could see the dustcover. "The Jungle?"

"Yeah, are you familiar with it?" Tara said as he came over and laid down on the blanket by her side. He nodded and ran his hand over her arm.

"Almost made me go vegan." He said with a smirk. I remembered when he read it and called me, asking if I knew the horrible in's and out's of the book. Happy sat down behind me, so I sat up and leaned my back against his bent knees.

"I know this is crazy but I'm really craving a big steak." Tara said with a laugh. I giggled and shook my head, closing my copy of Jane Eyre. Jax grabbed her hand and brought it to his crotch.

"I've got your big steak right here, darlin'." I almost gagged and Happy laughed. Tara rolled her eyes with a bright smile. It was nice seeing them relaxed and happy.

"Don't make me barf." I joked. Jax shot me a bird and Happy took my hand. I took a deep breath. "Speaking of barfing. I'm pregnant."

"You knocked my little sister up?" Jax asked. I thought he would be excited. He was the one asking when Abel would have a cousin. There was a tense moment before he cracked a smile. "As long as the kid doesn't look like you, killah."

"Fuck off." Happy growled. I looked back to see him smiling. Tara beamed and squeezed my hand.

"I knew it! Congratulations." She said, sounding giddy. I laughed and nodded.

"I still think women can be sick without being pregnant. I just happen to be pregnant." I said with a shrug. She laughed and shook her head. We started gathering everything up and repacking the bags when a phone started vibrating. Tara sighed and picked the phone up.

"It's yours." She said, handing it to Jax. "Go ahead, porn king."

I could hear Chibs' Scottish accent from almost two yards away. Apparently Luann was having some kind of meltdown because Clay sent Bobby down to Cara Cara. Jax told him he'd take care of it and snapped the phone closed.

"Porn emergency?" Tara asked with a roll of her eyes. Jax smirked and nodded his head.

"What? Chlamydia outbreak?" I asked sarcastically. Happy smiled and Jax rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. Tara, I'll take you home first." He said with a sigh. I could tell Tara was disappointed.

"Why? We may still be able to salvage the day." I offered, looking back at Happy. He shrugged and Jax looked to Tara.

"You don't mind?" He asked. I tightened the straps on my backpack and stood by Happy's bike. Tara laughed.

"I wouldn't go that far but Lexie's right. There's a lot of day left." Tara said. I clapped and motioned towards the bikes.

"To porn-land we go!" I said with a laugh. Happy shook his head and got on, giving me his hand to help me climb on behind him. Jax and Tara went through a similar routine and we were off to Cara Cara. When Happy first told me about the club getting into porn, I was ready to rip Jax's head off for suggesting it. The only thing worse than a croweater was a porn actress. At least croweaters respected old ladies.

"Wait here." Happy said, kissing my cheek. I scowled at him and pulled my helmet off. "Five minutes, baby."

"Keep your hands to yourself." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He laughed and shoved his hands in his pockets. I rolled my eyes and he headed inside with Jax, arms swinging and hands outside of his pockets.

"You know he wouldn't mess with any of them." Tara said with a laugh. I nodded as a white Lexus sped onto the lot.

"Yeah, he knows I'd kill a bitch and he wouldn't get any for a year." I said with a smile. I really wasn't worried about Happy being around them, despite how disrespectful and conniving they were.

"Shouldn't you be polishing that, sweetheart? Jax likes it nice and shiny." I recognized Ima from one of the club parties. She was head over heels for Jax, not that the position was anything new for her.

"You mean like your forehead?" I quipped. She turned and gave me a glare. Tara laughed and went back to checking her emails on her phone. I yawned, ready to get back on the road. "They're taking forever."

"It's been three minutes." Tara said with a laugh. I was about to challenge her timekeeping when Mom's car rolled onto the lot, stopping just behind Ima's Lexus. Seconds later, Clay and Tig rolled up. Tig walked over and sat down beside me on Happy's bitch seat.

"What are you doing?" Clay yelled. Mom tossed the door shut and stared at Clay with a go to hell look.

"Luann called me. She's upset." Mom said.

"This is club business. Stay out of it." Clay snapped. That was usually the fastest way to shut a conversation down with an old lady. Mom wasn't just any old lady though.

"She's my friend, Clay. I figured she may want to talk." She said, turning towards the door. I raised my brow. Obviously I missed something big between them. Tig sighed.

"I hate when Mommy and Daddy fight." He whined. I rolled my eyes and shoved his curly haired head.

"Oh, so you drop everything to come talk." Clay barked. Mom scoffed and turned her back, continuing towards the door. Clay picked up a cinderblock and broke out the driver's door window. Mom threw her bag down and stormed over, shoving him backwards. I knew it could go bad quickly. I hurried inside to get Jax, knowing I couldn't exactly put myself between them in my condition.

"Jax! Jax!" I jogged through the porn studio, trying to ignore all the naked women all over the place. Jax jumped up from a couch where he'd had his arm around Ima.

"Can't you see he's busy?" Ima asked. I narrowed my eyes at her before telling Jax what was going on outside. He hurried out. "Not worried your man is going to see something he likes more here?"

"Is that a threat?" I asked. I had seen Happy standing in an office with Bobby, far from any of the actresses. She smirked and I grabbed her throat. "The great thing about being a doctor is knowing exactly how to kill someone and make it take forever. The pain itself would make you beg me to end it; or, I could almost kill you and bring you back, just to do it all over again."

"You're insane." She said, taking a couple, wobbly steps back. I smiled maliciously. "I have a movie to shoot."

"You do that." I said as Happy walked up and put his palm on my lower back. I looked up at him with an innocent smile.

"Didn't know that side of you existed." He said, kissing my collarbone. "It's hot."

I shook my head and hurried back outside to see what was going on. Mom was toe to toe with Clay, daring him to hit her. She finally turned away from him and he moved forward, grabbing her shoulders. She rushed forward with a scream and all of the hairs on my arms stood on end. Happy stepped in front of me, trying to shield me from anything else. I caught Mom in a hug as Jax walked up on Clay. Happy and Tig hung back, unable to interject in our family's personal issues because of the club. Tara walked over as Mom stormed inside, slamming the door behind her.

"This isn't good." Tara said, watching the staring match between Clay and Jax. I shook my head. She was right. It wasn't good but there was bound to be tension between them. Clay couldn't have the gavel and Jax move the club in the right direction. Things weren't going to get any better between them if there was any hope for the club.

"You want to challenge me? Fine, I don't give a shit but the minute this stops being about the club and becomes personal, that's when we'll have a problem." Clay said. I swallowed hard. How could it not be both personal and about the club. Jax shook his head and pushed his hair back, putting his hat on backwards.

"So much for salvaging the day." I muttered to Tara. She nodded and I saw her chest rise and fall with a deep breath. Jax asked Tig to take Tara back to her house so he could finish handling things. Tara didn't look happy but she didn't say anything. I shook my head and followed Jax inside.

"You're an idiot." I said, catching his arm and pulling him around to face me. He scowled and shook his arm free. "What's so important here that you're sending Tara away with Tig?"

"It's club business, Lexie." Jax said. He was clearly still hot about the showdown between Mom and Clay but I didn't care. He was notorious for messing up a good thing by doing something stupid.

"Don't club business me, Jackson." I snapped. He took a step towards me and looked around the room. "You're going to mess up you and Tara, Jax. I don't want that for either one of you."

"I have to take care of this, Alexis. Tara understands." He said before turning away and walking into an office where Bobby was unpacking some file boxes. I sighed and shook my head. It was like talking to a very angry brick wall.

"Do you have time to take me to Tara and Jax's?" I asked Happy when I came back outside. He tossed his cigarette away with a nod.

"Get on." He said. I couldn't decide what situation I was more upset about; what happened with Mom and Clay or Jax choosing porn over Tara. I understood that club business came first sometimes, that sometimes feelings could get hurt in the process. Still, what Jax was doing was bullshit. Luann was a grown woman. She should be able to deal with her business.

"Alexis, hold on." Happy said, hitting his kill-switch and catching my hand. I paused and stopped at the front of his bike. "Don't let this shit get you upset, okay? You leave the lot and I want the prospect with you. I'm not taking any chances with those bastards still on the loose."

"I hear you." I said, squeezing his hand. "I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday if you have time to-"

"I'll be there." He said, cutting me off. I felt my cheeks redden with a blush. I never had any doubt that he would be a great father; maybe a little over protective, but great all the same. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking over to Tara who was swinging on the new play set the guys had put up for Abel.

"I'm sorry my brother is a jerk." I said as Happy's bike roared off the lot. I knew he was going back to Cara Cara to help Jax and Bobby. Tara shrugged and lowered her feet to stop the swing.

"I guess I just thought that it would be different this time." I frowned, wishing I could snap my fingers and fix things. I'd seen this pattern with Jax before though. He'd choose the club over Tara, they'd get into an argument and he'd do something stupid. I just hoped that he wouldn't let it get that far again.

"You should talk to him before it gets any worse." I said, sitting on the swing next to her. She nodded and started swinging back and forth slowly. We watched as Opie, Chibs and Juice headed out, leaving only the prospect at the clubhouse. They all seemed to have a mission which usually meant trouble. "You're fucking kidding me."

Jax rode onto the lot with Ima on the back of his bike. I silently wished that her bare legs got burnt by the exhaust. Tara stopped swinging and just watched as Ima gave him a kiss on the cheek after climbing off the back of the bike. I shook my head and watched Ima saunter into the clubhouse.

"You need to talk to him, Tara. She knows you two are together." I said, ready to go make good on my threat from earlier. Tara shook her head.

"My cat fighting days are behind me." Tara sounded defeated. My shoulders fell and I wished that I wasn't the only one fighting for their relationship. Happy rolled onto the lot a couple minutes earlier and I could tell by the look on his face that he knew I wasn't happy about Jax and Ima.

"I know." He called out as I shook my head at him. I appreciated that I didn't have to explain why I was upset but I was upset all the same. Tara gave me a small smile.

"Don't let our crap bother you, Lexie. We've been through worse." She said, patting my knee. I felt like a little kid being told not to worry when mommy and daddy were fighting again.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"You're not staying?" I asked when Happy didn't get off the motorcycle. He shook his head and turned the bike off so I could hear him.

"I've got to take care of something with the club. I shouldn't be too late." I was more disappointed than I thought I would be. "Hey, you knew what you were getting into."

"Yeah, I know. It's just the hormones I guess. I'll make sure to lock the doors. Be careful." I said, kissing him briefly before he started the bike back up and walked it back out of the driveway. He watched me from the street until I was safely inside the house. I changed into a pair of yoga pants and one of his t-shirts before I settled onto the couch with my laptop. We hadn't talked about it yet, but I wanted to start looking at houses so we weren't still living in Tara's house when the baby was born. The market in Charming could be pretty slim since no one ever really left, so I knew it could take a while to find the right place.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because the next thing I knew, Happy was carrying me into the bedroom. I pressed my cheek to his shoulder until I recognized the smell on his clothes. It was smoke. I was used to the cigarette smoke on his clothes but this was different. This was the kind of smoke that Hank could never really scrub off his skin after a 48-hour shift. My throat started to feel dry and scratchy.

"You smell like smoke." I choked out. He laid me down on the bed and nodded, shrugging his kutte off. I swallowed hard but the tears still started building up in my eyes. Happy stopped in the middle of pulling his shirt off. He seemed to realize why that may have bothered me.

"Lexie. Hey, nobody got hurt. The Nords had this meth house inside Charming and Hale wasn't doing anything about it. We took the house down but nobody was inside, okay?" I ground my teeth together and gave him a little nod. I didn't really care if any Nords got hurt. Still, the smell of that smoke made my stomach churn. "I'm taking a shower. Go to sleep, baby."

"Yeah." I said, pulling the sweatpants off before I scooted down in the bed and pulled the sheet and blanket over me. I hadn't thought about Hank in a few weeks and I felt guilty. My mind started clouding with guilt and self doubt. Was it wrong for me to be with someone else so soon? Should I have stayed in Georgia to honor his memory? With every question, my stomach flipped over and over until I had to rush out of the bed and hurl myself at the toilet to keep from getting sick in the floor.

"Lexie? You okay?" Happy got out of the shower quickly, still covered in body wash. I nodded just before my body lurched again. It was bad enough that I was feeling confused about what was going on. I didn't want to hurt Happy by telling him. I wasn't even sure if it was real guilt or hormones.

"Sorry. You can finish showering." I said, pulling myself up with help from the bathroom counter. Happy frowned and tucked my hair behind my ear. I felt flush and lightheaded.

"I should have taken a shower at the clubhouse. I'm sorry, Lexie." I blinked a couple times, wondering what he was talking about. He sighed and kissed my forehead. "Alexis, I can see it in your eyes and you're a horrible liar."

"I love you." I choked, hoping he wasn't taking my reaction the wrong way. He smiled and shook his head, giving me a wave of panic.

"I know. Go lay down." He said. I took a deep breath and my stomach started to settle a little. I waited until he was back in the shower to walk into the bedroom. I couldn't understand how I could be so lucky to be with someone who understood me so well. Not only that, he was patient and understanding. I doubted anyone would ever believe me if I told them that.

Happy's arm was around my waist when I woke up the next morning. I didn't move, despite really needing to use the bathroom. I just wanted a few more minutes before I had to leave the comfort of our bed and his arms. His breath was warm on the back of my neck and gave me little goose-bumps up and down my arms. He pressed his lips onto my skin gently and all the hairs on my body stood on end. I rolled over to face him. His eyes were still closed but he was obviously awake.

"Morning." He muttered, eyes still closed. I smiled and kissed his lips. He opened his eyes, just barely, before closing them again. I shook my head and kissed him again, this time nipping his bottom lip as I pulled back. He opened his eyes all the way and quickly rolled us over so I was on top of him. I giggled and rubbed my palms from his chest to his shoulders. I felt his member twitch beneath me and I couldn't help a satisfied smirk. He ran his hands up my thighs to rest on my hips.

"Morning." I whispered before flicking my tongue over his ear. He moaned and squeezed my hips. I moved down to his neck and kissed the sensitive spot just over his rapidly pulsing vein. He rolled his head back, giving me even more access as I moved around his neck and down his chest. I lightly bit his nipple and that was it. He shoved me off of him and quickly discarded his underwear before he moved on top of me. I lifted my hips and he yanked my underwear off and threw them over his shoulder.

The next forty minutes was better than anything I'd ever experienced, even with him. My body was overwhelmed with ecstasy and my mind couldn't think of anything but how it felt. He was rough and gentle at the same time. Caring and demanding at the same time. I couldn't get enough but I couldn't take anymore if I wanted to keep breathing. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

"Damn, Alexis." Happy said, his chest rising and falling rapidly from beside me. I nodded and hugged my pillow to me, staring at the ceiling and waiting for the come down. "Shit."

"I know." I sighed. "Will you make me pancakes?"

"Pancakes? I'm pretty sure you came at least four times and you want me to make you pancakes?" Happy asked with a laugh. I nodded, still staring at the ceiling.

"You knocked me up. You make the pancakes." I said, patting his chest. He laughed and got out of bed, cleaning himself off with his towel from last night. I leaned up and watched him pull on underwear and a pair of gym shorts. "Where are you going?"

"To make pancakes." He grumbled. I smiled and hurried out of the bed and into the bathroom so I could be out of the shower when they were done. As I lathered myself with soap, I noticed my hips weren't as pronounced as they used to be. It was the first physical evidence of our pregnancy, besides throwing up all the time. I finished showering quickly before hurrying into the kitchen, my hair still dripping.

"Look!" I said, pointing at my stomach. Happy raised his brow after turning around quickly. His brow fell into nearly a scowl. "Happy, look. I'm getting a baby bump."

"You're insane. If anything your stomach is getting flat instead of sunk in. You look good." Happy said, turning back to the stove. I poked my bottom lip out and crossed my arms over my chest. "Pouting isn't going to change it. Don't worry, you're going to get fat."

"So, first I was apparently too skinny. Now I finally look good and soon I'm going to get fat. Real nice, Lowman." I fought back the laughter and the smile, hoping to trick him into thinking I was mad. He looked back at me and rolled his eyes.

"You forgot that I also said you're insane. If you keep standing there naked the pancakes are going to burn." He said, shaking the spatula at me. I grunted and turned on my heel, hurrying down the hall just as someone knocked on the front door. I quickly braided my hair and got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Jax? What are you doing here?" I asked, taking the plate of pancakes Happy offered to me. He was sitting at the bar and swiveled around in the chair as I walked past on my way to the table.

"What did you say to Tara?" He asked, sitting down across from me. Happy sat down at the end of the table between us with a cup of coffee.

"I told her to have a backbone and not let you get away with your usual shit." I said, pouring syrup over my pancakes in a thin swirl. Jax leaned back in the chair quickly and let out a huff. "What? You always screw shit up because you can't keep it in your pants when things get serious"

"That was years ago, Alexis. I'm not doing anything with Ima like you made Tara think." I almost choked on my breakfast.

"Like I made Tara think? You're the one that had the gash on your back last night. I just told Tara to say something before it was too late. Trust me, that girl isn't worth the woman you could lose." I said, stabbing my pancakes a little hard. Happy looked over at me cautiously. Jax shook his head and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Jax, I'm on your side. I want you and Tara to make it work. I just don't want you to undermine what you have by not communicating."

"You really think that she was worried I would do something with Ima?" Jax asked, his body relaxing. I could tell the argument was over and he was finally starting to listen to me. I shrugged and spoke with a mouth full of pancakes.

"I think you interrupted my breakfast when you should be asking your old lady that question instead of your sister." I said. Happy smirked and looked to Jax for a response. Jax nodded and walked around to my side of the table.

"I love you, princess." He kissed the top of my head before giving Happy a quick hug and leaving. I glanced at Happy once the front door was closed.

"You can't help but get involved, can you?" He asked. I scowled at him and put my fork down. "Lexie, I get it. He's your brother and she's your best friend. You can't fix everything though."

"I'm not trying to fix anything. I just gave her a little push to hopefully stop anything from having to be fixed. There's a difference." I argued. Happy shook his head. "Are you mine all day?"

"I need to work on the bike before the toy run and the Cara Cara wrap party is tonight." He said. I rolled my eyes and leaned back.

"We have to go to that?" I groaned. He shrugged and I gently kicked him with my bare foot. "I'm not sitting home while you get lap dances."

"Then I guess you're going." He said, grabbing my plate to take it back into the kitchen. "I'm leaving for the garage in a few minutes. Be there by nine."

"Okay. I'm going to clean and maybe ride around past some houses that are on the market." I said, hoping he wouldn't object. He nodded and kissed me before going to get dressed.

After cleaning up after breakfast, I cleaned the rest of the kitchen and the living room before putting our sheets in the washer. I wasted some time looking online and ordering some pregnancy books before getting in the car and driving around Charming, hoping to find something that I didn't see online. There were a couple places for sale by owner, but they were on the wrong side of town and too close to a Nord hotspot. I gave up and headed back to my temporary home.

I looked around as I walked up towards the front door. There was a brown, paper shopping bag sitting on the porch. It wasn't there when I left and I knew that if Happy had gotten something he'd have taken it inside. Anyone else would have called one of us. People didn't just leave things outside, not even in Charming. I glanced around, looking for anything to lead me to believe it may be something hazardous. Eventually, I picked it up and opened it slowly. I froze and the bag fell to the ground, the white mask tumbling out of it. It was one of the masks the men wore when they raped me.

"Why can't this just be over?" I asked the empty house as I searched the drawers for a lighter or matches. Wasn't it bad enough that I'd been raped over and over again by those men? Why couldn't it end at that? I found a matchbook from the Hairy Dog and headed out to the back yard. As the mask melted and shriveled, I realized what this was about. I hadn't done what they'd wanted me to. I hadn't delivered their message to the club. I walked back inside to get away from the fumes and turn my back on the smoldering mask. I wasn't going to let them win, no matter how many trinkets they left me.

"Have you seen Jax's sister? I'd love to show her a good time." I gripped Happy's wrist to keep him from drawing his Glock on the prospect. Tig was facing Half-sack so he could see both Happy and I. He was trying to help the kid out, shaking his head and trying to get him to stop talking. "Seriously, if Happy'd let me in there I'd just need one time."

"Say that shit again and my old lady ain't going to be able to stop me from killing your dumb ass." Happy growled, grabbing the back of the prospect's kutte. I stopped trying to hold him back. It was useless. "Leave. Now."

"Hap, I. Uh. It was a compliment, you know?" Half-sack said, backing away. All Happy had to do was lift the front of his shirt and he got the message. He was gone. Tig shook his head and walked up to give me a hug. I laughed and wrapped my arms around him.

"How you feeling, sweetheart?" Tig asked, stepping back. It was strange to see him serious but I guess that was what happened when someone you cared about was raped and assaulted. I was ready for things to go back to normal, for everyone to stop looking at me like I was a victim. I smiled and told him I was good. I was good, for the most part. Happy kissed the base of my neck before walking over to the open bar. "He's crazy about you."

"Likewise." I said with a happy smile. I caught Ima walking across the room out of the corner and rolled my eyes. I knew she would be there, the party was for her movie after all. I just hoped to luck out and not see her. Jax was over by a purple couch talking to Opie and Juice and Ima seemed to be making a bee-line for him. I was just about to go over there when I saw Happy walking over to Jax. I remembered what he said about getting involved and decided to see where it was going to go for a few minutes. Tig excused himself to chase a red head, so I texted Tara to find out where she was.

As I waited for her to reply, I looked around the room and realized that I probably wouldn't have enjoyed this party if I wasn't sober. This wasn't like a club party at all. Instead of being all about the guys, the attention was definitely on the women, the stars. I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my virgin Cape Cod, otherwise known as cranberry juice. Ima was half leaning and half sitting on the back of the couch by Jax. She was twisting one of her pigtails around her fingers and smiling like a star-struck tween. I was tired of standing around by myself so I crossed the room and joined Happy and the others, unfortunately including Ima.

"Hey girl. You done being a loner?" Happy asked, guiding me to his side with a hand on my hip. I nodded and leaned into him.

"I was waiting for Tara. She should be here any minute though." I gave Jax a quick but pointed look before turning my attention to Opie.

"How you doing, Ope?" I asked, knowing at least some of what he was feeling. He nodded and took a drink of what I assumed was whiskey. It seemed like that was the only response I was going to get out of him. I should have known better than to expect anything more. Opie had a habit of bottling things up.

"Do you want another drink?" Juice asked, breaking the tension. I looked down at my near empty cranberry juice and shrugged. "Vodka cranberry?"

"Uh, just cranberry juice." I said. We still hadn't made any big announcement. Jax and Tara were the only ones who knew about the baby. Happy and I were planning on going to tell his mother after my doctor's appointment and then telling Mom and everyone else at the next Sunday dinner. It was still early. Most people I knew didn't make any announcements until after the first trimester and I still had a couple weeks to go until then.

"UTI?" I blinked and Happy slowly turned his head to look at Juice. He lifted a shoulder and looked around. "What? My Mom used to get them and she'd always drink cranberry juice."

"Go get the damn drink, idiot." Happy snapped. He shook his head as Juice walked away. "Kid knows to much and says even more."

My phone vibrated and I checked the message quickly, hoping it was Tara. It was. She was just pulling in and asked where we were. I replied immediately.

"Thank god. Tara's finally here." I grumbled, ready to have my best friend when I was so outnumbered by women that just saw me as competition. Happy nodded towards where Ima had been standing.

"Looks like she took the hint. Surprised you didn't claw her eyes out." Happy chuckled. I raised my hands with palms towards me.

"I just had my nails done." I said. Jax and Happy both laughed this time. I shrugged and dropped my hands as I looked over my shoulder for Tara. I sighed. "I'm going to go see what's taking her so long."

I assumed she might be sitting out in her car giving herself a pep-talk or maybe having a rare cigarette or joint. I knew she was even more hesitant about coming to the party than I was. Tara was standing toe to toe with Ima when I finally found them near the entrance.

"Invite only and you are not on the list." Ima said, hands on her bare hips. Tara's jaw was set. I recognized the look in her eye from high school, back when she wasn't above giving a gash a well deserved beat down. I strode over and took Tara's hand.

"Without Jax, Cara Cara would have folded and he's been waiting for you. Let's go." I said, pulling her past Ima. The bleach blonde scoffed loudly. It was reminiscent of a toddler that didn't get a toy at the grocery store. Tara groaned once we were out of earshot. "Don't. Anyone can buy tits and fake an orgasm in front of a camera. You're my best friend and Jax's old lady. You keep your head up."

"You're starting to sound like your mother." Tara said with a laugh. I turned back and gave her a scowl just before we got to Happy, Juice and Jax, Opie seemed to have disappeared while I was gone.

"Took you long enough." Jax said, pulling Tara to him and giving her a kiss. I took the cranberry juice that Juice offered me and leaned against the couch.

"We ran into a gargoyle on our way over." I explained. Happy looked over at my out of the corner of his eyes but I just shrugged. "There are way too many women in here. It's like a taco party."

"A what?" Juice said, spitting his beer out in a shower of mist. I laughed and lifted my shoulder like he'd done earlier.

"A taco party. It's like a sausage fest, you know? Just instead of it being mainly men it's mainly women." I explained. Juice laughed and clutched at his ribs and Happy covered his brow with his hand and just shook his head. "What? It makes sense."

"I'm with you." Tara said, glaring over at Ima as she sauntered over. She really was a gargoyle. Her head was hard as stone. "What, Ima?"

"I was here first, keeping Jax company until you got here." I opened my mouth to argue the validity of that statement but Tara was already storming off. I looked at Jax expectantly. It only took him a second to hurry after her.

"You're either really brave or really stupid and I'm leaning towards the latter. I'm not going to warn you again. Stay away from Jax and Tara." I said, stepping up towards Ima. She straightened her posture and looked my right in the eye. I didn't falter. I wasn't afraid of her.

"Lexie," Happy whispered into my ear as he pulled me over. I was still staring Ima down. "I'm leaving early tomorrow. Need some time to say goodbye."

I knew he was distracting me but the offer of sex mixed with my raging hormones was too much to turn down. I moaned and turned my head quickly, catching his mouth with my lips. He welcomed my kiss and slid his tongue over mine, urging me to his will even more. I turned and clutched the front of his kutte. Happy grabbed my hips and pushed my ass against the back of the couch. I felt my body heating up quickly.

"Not here." I panted, managing to pull myself away from him. He nodded and groped my breast one more time before stepping back to let me off the couch. I didn't bother to hunt Ima down and give her a good bitch slap like I'd planned. I hoped that Tara could handle herself and that Jax wouldn't make her after our discussion over pancakes. I needed to get home to give my man a proper send-off before the charity run the following morning.


	25. Chapter 25

**Look! An update! Thank you all so very much for your support! I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. We do have an inspection coming up this week at work and I'm working overtime (boo) so next update may be delayed if I can't get it done tomorrow. In any case, I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 25

"Sorry I ditched you at the party." I said to Tara as I sat down across from her at the cafeteria table. It was the first time I'd had a chance to sit down all day. Tara laughed and shook her head. "Did you and Jax get into it?"

"Uh, something like that." Her cheeks turned pink and a shy smile crossed her lips. I leaned back in my chair and pointed my fork at her.

"Spill, doc." I laughed. She shrugged and her smile grew.

"Jax found me in the bathroom. I was so angry about what Ima said. I planned on putting him in his place but we ended up having sex against the wall instead. Ima walked in just long enough to see what was going on. I think she may have finally gotten the message." Tara said with a giggle. I laughed and nodded although I doubted it would be that easy to get through Ima's thick skull. "Where's the weirdest place you and Happy have done it?"

"It? Fucked?" I laughed at her rolling eyes and thought about my answer. "I guess it was probably when we had sex on his bike."

"That's it?" She asked with a little chuckle. I smirked and stabbed my salad with my fork.

"I mean, it was in the middle of the day on the side of the road." I laughed. Tara's jaw dropped and I felt my cheeks starting to blush. "It was before I left for school. He was super nervous about being caught. It was hot."

"You know, most people would probably think that he was the crazy one. I know the truth though." Tara teased. I shook my head as I swallowed.

"Oh, trust me. He's still the crazy one. I've calmed down a lot since then." I reassured her. She didn't really seem convinced. My pager vibrated on my side. "Seriously, I'm on lunch."

"I heard you all had a couple call offs." Tara said apologetically as I stood up. I nodded and cleared the message. "I'll put your salad in my office fridge. You can get it whenever you can."

"Thanks. I'll see you later." I said, rushing down the hall. I skidded to a halt at the patient's bedside. "What've we got?"

Four hours later, I was scrubbing my hands after my first loss in a long time. The patient was a drunk driver that had caused a wreck that broke a little girl's leg. Regardless of his actions or who he was, the loss was still hard. His heart was just too weak for the surgery that he had to have. I know he would have died without the surgery but I still felt responsible. It was the doctor's curse. We're so accustomed to saving lives that when we can't, we take it personal, even if it was out of our control.

The day didn't get much better after the surgery. A girl vomited all over my shoes and a nurse decided to question me in front of a patient. If it wasn't for my phone going off in the middle of our 'discussion', it may have cost me a few days off and a write-up. I passed off my charts to the doctor that was relieving me and headed to Tara's office to throw out the salad I never got to eat.

"Sorry I missed your call. I was in the middle of something." I said, cradling my phone against my ear with my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm good. We ran into a problem on the run. Might have to extend it a day or two." I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, Hap. The day after that is Monday. The day that I go to have my first ultrasound." I spoke slowly, hoping to keep the anger out of my voice. I heard him sigh and I knew this was going to turn into a fight.

"Alexis. I can't help this shit. I'm going to try and be there but I can't pull out of this right now." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Babe, you know I wanted to be there."

"I wanted you to be there to, Happy. You said you would be but, of course, the club comes first. Check with Clay before you promise to be there when the baby is born." I ended the call and left Tara's office, slamming the salad into the first garbage can I came to. My phone was vibrating in my pocket as I walked out of the hospital. It stopped vibrating for a second but then started right back up as I got into my car. I knew he wouldn't stop calling until I answered. "What?"

"Don't ever fucking hang up on me again, Alexis." Happy growled. I assumed he wasn't yelling because other people were around. "Bobby is hurt and we're trying to find Tig. I don't have time to deal with your shit. I might be able to be there, a'ight? Calm the fuck down."

"Is that all?" I asked, in no mood to continue the conversation any further. He scoffed and I nodded. "Okay, well I'll talk to you later. You aren't the only one who's had a bad day."

"What happened?" I could still hear anger in his voice but he was obviously trying to smooth things over. I took a deep breath and started the car.

"I don't want to talk about it, Happy. I'll call you before I go to sleep." I said, waiting for him to acknowledge me before I ended the call that time.

"Yeah, alright." He ended the call and I tossed my phone into the passenger seat. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and turned my face up towards the ceiling of the car. I didn't want to cry like this. Was I really so weak that I started crying anytime we got into an argument? I slammed my palms against the steering wheel and shook my head angrily.

When I got home, the prospect was sitting on his bike in front to the house. I twisted my mouth and got out of the car slowly. Happy hadn't mentioned anyone coming to check on me. I locked the car and adjusted my bag on my shoulder. The prospect started walking over, both hands shoved in his front pockets.

"Jax wanted me to come by and make sure you were okay. Don't tell Happy, okay?" He said, rocking back and forth on in his boots. I nodded and lifted a shoulder.

"I'm fine. I can handle an argument with Happy." I said. Half-sack nodded slowly and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. "I won't say anything to him and I'll talk to Jax. Go enjoy doing whatever it is that you do when they're on the road."

"I mostly just play video games." He sounded a little embarrassed. I laughed and nodded, not at all surprised by that revelation. "I'm around if you need anything, Alexis. Have a good night."

"Thanks, you to." He was goofy and shy, not someone I would normally picture prospecting with the club. He was getting close to the year mark though. The guys must have seen something in him though, if not he'd have been cut loose by now. He mounted his bike and waited until I had closed the front door behind me to ride off. I put my bag away, toed my shoes off in the coat closet and headed straight for the couch. The day had gotten the better of me and I wasn't looking forward to sleeping alone for the first time in weeks. Even when Happy didn't get in until late, he'd be there when I woke up.

"Hey, are you busy?" I asked after he answered on the first ring. I slid beneath the sheet and blanket and tried to get comfortable.

"A little. You okay?" Happy asked. I could hear bikes idling in the background and I felt a little guilty for picking a fight with him earlier.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to sleeping without you anymore. I didn't mean to be so mean earlier. I know you'd be there if you could" I said, feeling about six inches tall.

"Hey, I may still get to be there, baby." I didn't want to get my hopes up and I could tell he felt the same way. "Get some sleep, Lexie. I love you."

"I love you, Hap." I said, pulling his pillow to my chest. I liked the way that it still smelled like him, even when he wasn't there. "Be careful, okay?"

"Only for you." He said before the call ended. I set my phone on the nightstand, making sure to deactivate any of my alarms. I really wanted to get caught up on some sleep, I was tired and sleeping would make the time without Happy go by faster. Unfortunately, Mom had other plans for my day off without Happy.

"Why are you still asleep? Are you sick?" Mom asked. I rubbed my eyes and tossed the door closed with a grunt. "Do you two even live here? I enjoy a clean house as much as the next person but this is a little much."

"I clean when I'm bored and Happy doesn't make a mess. I'm not sick." I muttered as I followed her into the kitchen. She started opening cabinets. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for coffee. You obviously need some." She said, finally finding the right cabinet and pulling the bag down. I bit my bottom lip.

"I'm trying to cut back. I've been drinking tea." I said. She looked back at me like I was a stranger. I shrugged. "It's better for you."

"Sure there isn't another reason?" Her intuition annoyed the hell out of me. I shrugged, hoping to stick to the plan of not making any announcements until after the ultrasound. She made a noise in ER throat and put the coffee away, pulling down a box of earl gray tea instead. "Go get dressed."

"Fine." I wanted to stay in pajamas all day and binge watch chick flick movies. Mom had a cup of tea ready for me when I came back, dressed in a plaid button down and boyfriend jeans with my converse high tops. I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head. "What? I want to be comfortable."

"Let's go. I need to get some shopping done for the clubhouse." She said, shaking her head again. I whined in protest, lifting my fresh cup of tea. "Bring it with you, Alexis."

"I don't know why you're dragging me around. You need to bond with Tara, take her." I grumbled. She shook her head and unlocked her car.

"How far along are you?" She asked after we loaded the groceries in her car. I blinked and stared at my feet, refusing to look at her. "Alexis, I've had three children including you and I know when something is off with you."

"We just decided to keep it recently and we wanted to wait until after my ultrasound tomorrow to tell anyone." I said with a frown. She shook her head and started backing out of the grocery store parking lot.

"I'm your mother, Alexis. I should have known second if not first. When did you find out?" She asked bitterly. I sighed and leaned back in the seat.

"When the doctor ran tests after what happened." I said, not wanting to think about the assault after finding that mask on the front porch. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"Happy didn't want to keep it?" She asked. I scowled and looked over at her, wondering why she would think that.

"I wasn't sure if I was ready. Happy never said a word against it." I snapped. Her eyes widened. "Why did you think Happy wouldn't want to have a child with me?"

"I just never thought of him being a father. Don't be so sensitive." Mom said, pursing her lips and turning onto my street. Apparently she was done with the conversation. "I appreciate you telling me, Alexis."

"I told you! We weren't going to tell anyone until the ultrasound." She laughed and shook her head, stopping in front of Tara's father's house.

"I'm sure your doctor friend knows." She snapped. I threw the door open and got out of her car.

"You sound like a jealous child. I'm sure you were happier than this to hear about Abel. I guess I just can't do anything right though." I was deflecting my guilt back onto her. I remembered that much from my psychology courses in medical school. I went inside and cleaned the entire house. After running out of things to do, I drew a bath with bubbles in hopes that it would ease my mind. I was starting to feel like the world was working against me, like nothing was going right.

"Lexie. Wake up." I moaned and tried to roll over, wishing Happy's voice wasn't just part of my dream. "Hey."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and sat straight up, breathing heavily. Happy was standing beside the bathtub. It wasn't a dream. I looked down at the water. All the bubbles were gone and the water was no warmer than room temperature. My fingers were well past the pruning point and I was shivering. Happy grabbed a towel for me and gave me a hand out of the tub. I wrapped the towel around me and tried to keep my teeth from chattering.

"Baby, what were you doing?" Happy asked, rubbing my arms to try and warm them up. I explained that I'd taken a bubble bath and must have fallen asleep. He searched my eyes and pulled me to him, holding me tightly. "Damnit, Alexis. You could have drowned."

"I'm okay. Hey, it was an accident. What are you doing here?" I asked. He kissed my forehead and started rubbing my arms again.

"We took care of shit and I didn't want to stay for the party. Had better places to be." He said. I smiled and hugged him tightly. "Come on. You need to get warm."

He led me to the bed and made me sit down while he got me a clean shirt out of his drawer and my fleece lounge pants. I put both on quickly, savoring the little warmth they provided. I crawled into my side of the bed as he dug a blanket out of the closet. He got into bed next to me and laid on his side, wrapping his arm around me.

"Mom found out about the baby." I said. Happy nodded and rubbed his hand over my stomach. "I didn't tell her, she just sprung the question on me and I couldn't lie. She's mad because Tara knew before she did."

"She'll get over it, Lexie." He said, continuing to rub my stomach. I loved the feeling. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Me? I don't know. I just want them to be healthy. I'm really worried about them having cardiac problems, considering my family history." I said, biting my bottom lip. Happy shook his head.

"Won't happen. I've got good genes. Lowman babies are tough as nails." He said with a smirk. I laughed and put my hand on top of his. "I want a girl."

"What, so she can be a daddy's girl?" He nodded and I rolled my eyes. I could almost picture it in my head though. "You'll be a great dad. Girl or boy, they'll both love you so much."

"Hope so. You warm?" I nodded and he leaned over me, kissing my lips softly. "Go to sleep. I'm beat."

I couldn't seem to fall back to sleep. I would close my eyes and drift off but it was like I was still aware of everything going on around me. When the sun started peeking in through the blinds, I gave up on getting anymore rest. I carefully slipped out of the bed, hoping not to wake Happy. He had to be exhausted from so many miles over the past couple days.

I made myself some tea and took it out to the back porch. It was a cool morning and there was dew on everything. Summer was slowly giving was to Autumn. I was glad that I wouldn't be pregnant during the summer next year. I didn't see how it could be anything less than exhausting.

"Why are you nervous?" Happy asked, causing me to jump. He raised his brow and I sighed, dropping my shoulders and waiting for my heart to slow down. "You've been biting your nails."

"What if the baby has a heart problem? That's what happened to our brother Thomas. He was on medicine his whole life and had more surgeries than a person should ever have in their life." My heart was starting to race again. I brought my thumb up to my mouth and tugged at my nail with my teeth.

"When will we know?" Happy asked, avoiding eye contact with me. I shook my head slowly. There wasn't a way to know for sure until at least the last trimester.

"The third trimester or after they're born." I noticed that he was chewing on his toothpick a little harder. "There have been a lot of advancements in medicine since we lost Thomas though. Abel's fine. He'll be on medication for a few years, maybe the rest of his life but he'll have a long, normal life."

"Yeah, you forget your nephew's last name? I don't think normal is in the books for the Tellers." He was probably right. Still, at least he would be healthy. I glanced down at my watch and stood up. "Go, I'll wash this."

"Thanks." I kissed his cheek as he picked up my half-full cup of tea. I hurried to get dressed, picking comfort over fashion. I tied my shoes and grabbed one of Happy's hoodies before meeting him at the front door. He smirked. "Shut up. I'm getting probed. I get to be comfortable."

"Not complaining. Those show off your ass." He said, referring to my leggings. I rolled my eyes and took his hand, leading him out of the door. "I'm driving."

"Fine." I tossed him my keys and walked around to the passenger side. We were just on time to the appointment, thanks to his driving. "I'm not going to die if you drove a little faster."

"Shut up." He said, tossing the keys back to me. "You've got special cargo."

We went right back to an examination room after signing in with the receptionist. Several women gave me dirty looks and I wondered if it was because of the professional courtesy I was shown or who I was with. Either way, I didn't have to sit in the waiting room with them so I won in the end. My blood pressure was slightly elevated but I contributed that to my anxiety. When the nurse started taking my blood, Happy looked away. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Really? You're covered in tattoos." I teased. Happy shook his head, still not looking my way.

"Needles are way smaller and don't go all the way in." Happy grumbled, obviously annoyed that I was teasing him. I laughed and squeezed his hand.

"It's over." I said. He peeked over at me to make sure I wasn't lying. I pursed my lips and gestured to the bandage. The nurse left the room and I started getting butterflies. Happy was pacing around the room, looking at one poster and then the next. When the doctor came in and started the examination. He stood in the corner, arms crossed and eyes fixed on every move she made. When the ultrasound started, he stared at the screen like it was some mystical object.

"That, right there," the doctor pointed to the screen, "that is your baby. See the nose and the feet?"

"Fuck." Happy said, transfixed by the ultrasound. I felt tears rolling down my face. I was both excited and scared. How was I going to raise a child? I barely managed to keep my own life on track and now Happy and I were going to be responsible for someone. I could see some of the same thoughts written all over his face, more than that though, I could see how excited he was. I smiled and offered him my hand as he walked over.

"Still sure about this?" I asked with a smile. Happy laughed and nodded his head.

"Completely." He said before he leaned down and kissed me. I smiled, feeling reassured. "I need at least five copies of that."

 **a/n: this last part had me smiling as I wrote it. :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**I apologize for the delay and how short this chapter is. I'm going to be honest here. I work in law enforcement dispatch and we've been particularly busy and stressed so it's really been killing my creativity and energy. At any rate, that isn't your faults so I apologize for my lack of updating. I am trying to fix that. I do hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for your support.**

Chapter 26

"Have you thrown away any boxes?" Jax asked as he walked into his kitchen where I was showing Tara the ultrasound picture. She glanced up and shook her head. Jax scratched the back of his head and then let his hand fall to his side.

"I threw away a box of funky boxers and shirts." Mom said. The three of us turned to see her sudden appearance. She and Jax shared a look and I knew there was something more to that box. I stood up and motioned towards the garage.

"I'll help you look." I said, sliding the ultrasound picture in my bag before Mom could see that I had been showing it to Tara. I knew it was juvenile, but she would have been upset if she knew I showed Tara before her. I followed Jax into the garage and closed the door behind me. "What's in the box?"

"Dad's manuscript. I've read it at least twice and could probably quote half of it." He still looked worried and I understood why.

"You're just worried it will fall into the wrong hands." I supplied for him. He nodded and I took a deep, lung filling breath. "Was it in that box mom was talking about?"

"Yeah, pretty sure she knew that to. She either got rid of it or has it." Jax said, pushing his hair out of his face. I lifted my shoulders and let them fall quickly. "Yeah I know, there's nothing I can do about it now."

"Not really, no. Let's get back in there before Mom starts something with Tara." I said, turning back towards the kitchen. Jax followed me back inside where Tara was picking up her bag like she was about to leave.

"I'm going to the store. Do you need anything?" Tara asked Jax. He shook his head as he crossed the room to kiss her cheek. She smiled and squeezed his hand before she left. Mom, Jax and I were left in the kitchen. It was tense and awkward.

"I'm going to take Happy lunch at the shop. I'll see you two later." I said, grabbing my bag and rushing out before anyone could try and make me stay to be the buffer between them. I drove out to the new taco stand just outside of town and got both Happy and I lunch. On my way to the garage, I got stuck behind a Prius that was driving on a flat. I was baffled that the driver didn't stop, she was riding on metal before we even hit Charming. I was shaking my head as we turned into the lot of TM.

"I think its flat." Opie said, walking out to the Prius. I walked around to the other side of my car to get the food out and glanced up, listening in.

"It went out on 18." The blonde said. She looked familiar.

"You rode on this all the way from the highway?" Opie asked, blinking at the girl and then looking at her nearly oval rim. She frowned and looked up at him.

"Its bad, isn't it?" She asked. I chuckled quietly and headed to the garage. Anyone could see that the rim was shot. She would be lucky if that was the only damage done. Happy was standing in the doorway of one of the bays. He pointed towards Opie and the blonde.

"Being nosey?" He asked, taking the bag I held out for him. I nodded, not ashamed to admit it or silly enough to try and deny it. "How much trouble would I be in if I said you were like your Mom?"

"I've got another six or so months before this baby is born and then six weeks of healing after that. Do you want to go that long without sex?" I threatened, narrowing my eyes at him. He laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist, turning me towards the clubhouse.

"You wouldn't make it a week, Alexis." Happy said quickly. I scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs. He laughed and leaned over, kissing the top of my head. "Calm down, woman."

"I do what I want." I protested. Happy laughed and sat down across from me at the first picnic table. I smiled. "How's your morning been?"

"Uneventful." He said, unwrapping the top half of his burrito. I took a deep breath and he looked over at me. "Something happen?"

"Nah, not really. Just some drama between Jax and Gemma." I said, glad that I wasn't really in the middle of it. I knew what was going on but Mom didn't know that. I liked it that way. "Do you know that blonde?"

"Nah, she's one of Luann's girls though. Lulu or something. Hangs out with your buddy Ima a lot." Happy teased. I hurled a tortilla chip at him as hard as I could. He laughed and picked it up off the table. He put the whole thing in his mouth and snapped his teeth together. I rolled my eyes and looked back over my shoulder to see if the girl was still there. She and a boy who I assumed was her son were getting into one of the tow trucks with one of the mechanics that went by 'Dog'.

"Are you ever at work?" Clay said with a laugh. He walked out of the clubhouse and stopped about six feet from the table Happy and I were sharing. I looked over at him and forced a smile, trying to stay civil with him.

"Good to see you, Clay." I turned back to my food, hoping that was the end of our first conversation in days. He was still standing there, puffing on a cigar. I scooted towards the end of the bench to get away from the smoke. Ever since we found out I was pregnant, Happy had cut back on smoking and never smoked near me. I wanted to take every precaution I could to make sure the baby was healthy.

"This bothering you?" Clay asked, lifting up his cigar. I knew Mom would have told him about the baby by now. I narrowed my eyes at him and set my jaw. "You're welcome to leave."

"Excuse me?" I coughed. He'd said and done some ridiculous things in the past but he'd never gone as far as to make me leave. Normally, I was the one doing the leaving on my own accord. "I'm not even in the clubhouse and I'm just having lunch with Happy."

"He's got more important things to do." Clay said, looking over at Happy. He had been staying out of it until then. I kept my eyes on Clay, imagining a list of creative ways to kill him.

"You need me to do something?" Happy asked. If it wasn't for the tone in his voice, I would have thought he was bending over for Clay. I took a deep breath, waiting to see what was going to happen. Clay looked over at Happy, clearly surprised. "I'm eating with my old lady. Unless it can't wait, I'm busy."

"Hate to see you losing sight of what's important, Killah." Clay said as he walked away. I blinked, shocked that he would insult me and provoke Happy like that. I saw the vein in Happy's temple pulsing and moved my hand to cover his quickly. He looked at me with darkened eyes.

"Leave it alone." I said softly, knowing that he was already angry. I watched his adam's apple move as he swallowed. "Happy, he's just being an ass. No one would ever question your loyalty to the club."

"He just did." Happy growled. He shook his head and moved his hand away. I let my shoulders fall with disappointment. "I'll be home later, Alexis."

"Happy." I called out. He was already gone. I closed my eyes and lowered my head. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen when we got together. I never wanted the club to come between us. Now it seemed that I was coming between Happy and the club, at least according to Clay. I felt a hand on my back and looked up. It was Opie. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Opie said, looking towards the garage. I started gathering up the remnants of our lunch. "Don't worry about that. Prospect or somebody can clean up."

"No, I'll get it. I'd hate to cause any more problems for the club." I sighed and looked up at a wide-eyed Opie. "Sorry, it's just Clay."

"I get it, Lexie. You two have never gotten along. Don't let him get to you." Opie said, offering me a toothy smile. I shook my head.

"I'm used to it." I tossed the garbage in the trash and looked over at the garage where Happy was talking to Clay.

"Lexie, don't worry about Hap. He knows how Clay is." Opie said. I turned back and gave him a weak smile. He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. I laughed and remembered the way he'd always give great, big bear hugs. He didn't squeeze me nearly as tight as he used to, thank goodness. "Don't worry."

"Yeah, I'll try not to. I'm really good at it though." I said with a light laugh. Opie nodded and raised his shoulders. "Go fix porn barbie's car, I'll be fine."

We parted ways. Opie went to the garage that Clay was storming out of and I got into my car, ready to go grocery shopping for dinner. I thought I would make Happy spaghetti. It was one of his favorite meals and something I could easily throw together without much effort. I got a chill up my spine as I pulled into the parking lot. Something was off, I could feel it. I glanced out of the passenger window and then out of the rear view mirror. That's when I saw it. It was the mini-van the girl had lured me back to before knocking me unconscious.

I wanted to wait for her. I wanted to catch her off guard like she had me. I wanted to make her pay for what those men had done. What kind of woman would help those men do something like that? I took a deep breath. I couldn't put the baby in danger. I couldn't follow that crazy bitch and beat her senseless. I had to go inside the grocery store. I had to let it go.

I didn't expect to come face to face with her in the doorway. There were several other places she could have been; the post office, the pharmacy, the coffee shop. She was younger than I remembered her being but it was definitely her. She glanced up at me, no doubt wondering why I wasn't getting out of the way. I saw her eyes widen slightly. She must have recognized me. I felt my muscles tightening and my heart beat starting to pick up. She shoved past me and sprinted towards the van, glancing back every few feet to make sure I wasn't following her. I stood in the doorway to the grocery store and watched her drive away. When she was out of sight, I got back into my car and headed home. I didn't feel like cooking anymore.

"Hey." Happy said as he walked inside. I looked up from my computer and nodded. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm just tired." I hated lying to him and didn't think for a second that he would actually believe me. The look on his face as he shook his head confirmed that for me. Still, he didn't pressure me about it. He just sat at the opposite end of the couch and pulled my legs into his lap, running his palm up and down my bare skin. It was calming but I still felt uneasy. "How was the rest of your day?"

"Not great. Went with Clay and Jax to talk to the cigar shop owners. White supremacist pricks looked at me like I had three heads." Happy said. I felt my stomach churn at the mention of Zobelle and his crew. Something about them never sat well with me. "That dark haired jackass has some of the worst ink I've ever seen. He's got this butchered inverted peace sign right here."

"What?" As soon as he mentioned the tattoo, everything came rushing back. I could almost feel those men's hands on me again. I scrambled off the couch and ran to the bathroom, locking myself in. Within seconds, Happy was banging on the door.

"Alexis, I'm going to break this fucking door if you don't unlock it." Happy said, hitting the door so hard it shook on the hinges. I wrapped my arms around my knees and put my head on the wall behind me. He knocked one more time and then the door came flying open. He rushed over to me. "Lexie! What's going on?"

"It was them. This whole time. It was them." I whispered. I closed my eyes to keep from crying. Happy stood up and I glanced up to see him staring at the shower. His right hand was on the hilt of his knife.

"Them? Zobelle did that?" Happy asked slowly. I shook my head and covered my face with my hands. "The guy with the ink though. He raped you?"

"He was one of them." I muttered. Happy turned his eyes away from the shower and narrowed his eyes a little. I swallowed hard. We'd never talked about it in detail before. He knew there was more than one man that had assaulted me and where it had happened. That was it.

"How many, Alexis?" Happy asked, his soft voice not matching the ice in his eyes. I bit my bottom lip to stop its quivering. "Baby."

"Four." I whispered. Happy spun around quickly and smashed the mirror over the bathroom vanity with his fist. I jumped reflexively and bit my lip even harder. He let his fist fall to his side and I saw blood starting to drip onto the tiled floor. I forced myself out of the floor and grabbed a towel. Happy watched me closely as I wrapped the towel around his bleeding hand. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He said, his voice lathered with anger. I frowned and applied pressure to his hand. "Was it the tattoo?"

"Yeah. Besides them being white males, that was the only thing I could remember." I said, not meeting his eyes. His shoulders dropped and he wrapped his un-injured arm around me.

"They're going to pay for this, Alexis. I promise." He said. There it was, the promise that I didn't want him to make me. I never wanted revenge. I just wanted to get back to my life. I wanted to leave it in the past and prevent any bloodshed or blowback. "We need to take this to the club."

"What? Why is what happened to me their business? I just stopped getting pity looks when I come to the clubhouse." I said, running out of steam towards the end. I knew why it was their business. I was family. I was Jax's sister, JT's daughter and Happy's old lady. I couldn't been any deeper in the club without a kutte on my own back. I looked up at him and took a deep breath. "Okay."

I tended to his hand with some butterfly sutures and hydrogen peroxide but he refused to let me clean the floor. While he cleaned up the glass and blood, I went and changed into a pair of jeans and plain black t-shirt. I waited for him by the front door, ready to get it over with. I ran my hand over my stomach and felt guilty that the attack and those bastards were getting in the way of celebrating and enjoying my pregnancy. I wanted it to be over.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I sat in Happy's chair at the opposite end of the table from Clay. I'd been inside the room before and I could even remember the ornate table being delivered when I was a little girl. The room hadn't changed much since then. Happy stood behind me, his hands braced on the back of the chair. The room was silent, something I imagined didn't happen much with the rowdy group. I started picking at the nail polish on my thumb, just waiting for someone else to say something. I was all talked out. They knew everything now. Jax had his forearms flat on the table and his head hanging down and Clay was just staring at his own hands that were on the table in front of him. I dropped my eyes to my own hands and continued to pick at my nail polish nervously.

"Alexis, you should have told us sooner." Clay said. I looked up and he was still looking at his hands. His words weren't angry or chastising. If anything, he sounded sad. I wasn't used to any kind of compassion from Clay. "Does your mother know?"

"No. No one knew until about an hour ago. I didn't see any good in anyone knowing it was more than one person." I said. I felt Happy shift behind me. I knew he was angry that I hadn't told him everything from the beginning. I wasn't lying to Clay though. I really didn't see the use in making a bad situation worse for the people that didn't have to go through it. I bit the inside of my cheek. There was still one thing they didn't know. I glanced up at Happy before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. He furrowed his brow a little. He knew something was wrong. "There's something else."

"Lexie." Happy growled. I frowned and looked over at Jax who had turned his head to look me dead in the eyes. I never wanted them to know about the message I was told to deliver. I didn't want a single one of them to feel any type of guilt or responsibility for what the men had done. I knew these men better than that though. I knew that despite the rough and tumble exteriors, they were good men with big hearts. I had to tell them though. Not knowing about the threat would mean that I sent them in without all of the information.

"The one with the tattoo, he said to tell you to stop doing business with color or they would do it again." I didn't know the room could become any quieter. Happy stepped back from the chair but I was to ashamed to look back at him. I knew he was angry, I just wasn't sure which he was more angry about at the moment, what I'd said or that I hadn't said it sooner. Jax was the first one to break the silence by slamming his fist onto table. I jumped reflexively, even though I saw it coming.

"This changes things. We can't sit back and let those bastards get away with hurting us. They've gotten away with it long enough." Clay announced. I frowned and stood up, turning to look at everyone in the room until I finally landed on Happy. His fists were clenched and the veins in his neck and arms were bulging out. It took a moment but he finally met my eyes.

"I'm going to wait out there." I said, pointing towards the double doors. He nodded and walked me to the door. I turned back to say something, to find some type of apology that would make up for the omission. "Happy."

"Don't leave the building, Lexie." He put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me to him. His kiss was hard and possessive. When he pulled back to go back into church, my lips felt bruised and swollen. I sighed and walked around, too anxious to just sit and wait. I started towards the front door and made my way around the large bar room just looking at pictures and memorabilia. The voices behind the closed double doors would grow loud and then calm back down. Eventually, after looking at everything and drinking a bottle of water, I sat down on the cleaner looking couch and closed my eyes.

"Lexie." I woke up to the sound of Happy gently saying my name. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands and sat up. He lifted a corner of his mouth in an attempt at a half smile but it wasn't fooling me. "Let's go home."

"What happened?" I said, not ready to leave without knowing anything. He shook his head and offered me his hand. "Happy."

"It's complicated, Alexis. Nothing's going to happen tonight. We can talk about it tomorrow." His voice was flat and I could tell he was stressed. I didn't want to push him any further than I already had, so I gave him my hand and headed out to the car with him. He stopped a few feet from the passenger door and tightened his hold on my hand a little. I stopped and looked back at him. "You should have told me, Lexie."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to bring it up. I wanted this to go away." I said, running my thumb over his knuckles. He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Say something."

"I should have let you go back to Georgia. This never would have happened if you went back." My shoulders dropped and I bit my bottom lip.

"If I went back to Georgia then it wouldn't have happened, sure. Moving back is still worth it, Happy. I'm happy here. I'm happy with you." I paused and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at me. "Happy, if I could go back and choose between staying in Georgia and coming back and everything happening the same way, we would still be here. I wouldn't change my mind."

"Then you're an idiot." Happy growled. I shrugged my shoulders and he finally relaxed a little. He pressed his lips to my forehead and kept them there for a moment. When he pulled back, he gave me a small smile. "I love you, Alexis."

"Even if I'm an idiot?" I asked with a little grin. His smile grew a little and he gave me a nod. "Let's go home. I'll let you make up your name calling to me."

"Did your feelings get hurt, little girl?" Happy asked with a chuckle. I shot him a middle finger as he closed the car door for me. I knew that there would be some rough times ahead with the club so I was savoring the last few hours of pseudo-peace that we had.

We were both exhausted so we ended up cuddling in the bed until we both fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt rested and calm despite knowing that things were going to get worse before they got better. Happy was still asleep beside me, his arm lying across my stomach. I didn't move, not willing to interrupt the calm. A while later, Happy moved his palm onto my stomach. His eyes were still closed but I could tell he was awake.

"You're getting fat." Happy muttered. I looked over to see him smiling, eyes still closed. I stuck my tongue out at him, even though he couldn't see it. I knew he was playing but I was in fact starting to get a baby bump. He started making little circles on my bare stomach. "It's a girl."

"Oh? What's her name going to be?" I said with a little laugh. He shrugged his shoulder and kept making circles. "I guess the announcement will need to wait."

"I'm sorry." Happy said, finally opening his eyes. I gave him a small smile and put my hand on top of his. "We'll get down to Bakersfield to tell Ma as soon as we can. We can tell everyone else Sunday."

"No, Hap. I want to tell your Mom before the club knows." I said. I knew it didn't really matter, not in the grand scheme of things. I just knew she would be so excited. Happy nodded his head as he slowly sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "What's going to happen about last night?"

"We're going to make them pay." He said, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head. I pursed my lips, wondering if he was going to give me more than that. "Jax wants to watch them, see when they're most vulnerable. Don't want to walk in blind. I've got a woman and child to come home to."

"You do." I confirmed with a smile. He smirked and holstered his Glock in his waistband before leaning down to give me a kiss. I cupped his face in my hands and deepened the kiss for a second. He pulled away with a groan. "I know you have to go, babe."

"Take it easy today." He said, holstering his other Glock behind his back. I nodded, I was only working a half day and most of it was going to be finishing charts. I didn't have any surgeries scheduled. After Happy left, I took a shower and got dressed for work. I made sure to grab my phone charger since I forgot to charge the phone last night.

I was almost done with my charts when my cellphone started ringing. I picked it up and could hear yelling and sirens in the background. I sat straight up, automatically on alert.

"Happy! What's going on? What happened?" I yelled, terrified of the unknown. I shoved away from the desk and hurried towards the ER. I knew that whatever happened, the ambulance would get to the hospital before I could get to wherever he was.

"Lexie! A car blew up. Chibs is hurt bad. They're putting him on the ambulance now." Happy yelled. I assumed his ears were ringing because he was yelling a lot louder than he needed to. I nodded hurried to get ready. The ER was short staffed because they had been slow earlier in the day and sent several nurses and doctors home.

"Is everyone else okay?" I asked. I knew there was a chance he couldn't hear me from the blast. He didn't answer and the line went dead. I felt my heart start to race as my mind jumped to the worst case scenario. Was this my fault because I didn't say something sooner? Was Chibs hurt or dying because of me? The sound of the ambulance sirens approaching stopped any thoughts besides those of helping Chibs. Why didn't matter as much as helping him did.

"Talk to me." I told the EMT's as they rushed Chibs into the emergency room. They went down the list of his vitals during the ride over and the injuries he'd sustained. He'd lost a lot of blood so the first thing I did was order several units of blood for him. His skull was fractured and he was unconscious. I didn't know his entire medical history but I knew that he drank and smoked. Neither were good for his heart and he needed all the help he could get.

Four hours later, I walked out of the operating room. My brow was covered in sweat and my muscles felt like jello. I was exhausted but I'd done the best I could. It was still touch and go but I had faith that he was going to be okay. I knew that he was a stubborn Scotsmen. If anyone could make it, he could.

"How is he?" Tara asked, following me down towards the locker room. I had blood on my scrub top and I didn't want to go out to the waiting room like that. I pulled my top off and tossed it into the laundry bin.

"He should be okay. I'm keeping him sedated through the night to relieve some swelling. As long as he doesn't have any setbacks I think he'll make a full recovery." I pulled on a fresh top and followed her back down the hallway towards the waiting room where I knew an entire club was sitting and waiting for news. Sure enough, they were all there. Juice was leaning on a wall, chewing on the side of his nail. Jax was pacing, Clay was holding my Mom and Happy was slouched down in a chair. Everyone else was sitting or standing around, filling the room up almost completely. Tig saw me first and rushed over.

"How is he?" Tig asked quickly. Everyone gathered close as I gave a run down of his injuries and prognosis. Everyone seemed relieved when I quit speaking in medical lingo and just told them that he should be fine. I started to feel a little dizzy and braced myself on the wall. Happy moved closer and didn't take his eyes off of me. "What about you? You okay? You look pale."

"I'm good." I lied. In truth, I was getting more dizzy and lightheaded. I didn't feel well at all. I closed my eyes for an extended blink but ended up losing my balance. Happy caught me quickly and pulled me back up on my feet. "Maybe I should sit down."

"I'm going to get a blood pressure cuff. Don't move." Tara said. I waved her on in a silent promise not to move. Happy lowered me down into a chair as Mom hurried over and started fussing over me.

"Have you eaten? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" I closed my eyes and let my head rest on the back of the chair. She'd just told everyone about the baby in a most ungraceful way. I sighed and kept my eyes closed.

"Yes, I ate. Thanks for telling everyone about the baby though." I grumbled. Happy pushed loose hairs out of my face, I could recognize his calloused, ringed hands.

"I just want to make sure you're both okay. You've had plenty of time to announce it." She fussed. I huffed and rolled my head to the right as Tara sat down. She wrapped the cuff around my arm so I forced myself to sit up and uncross my legs. "Is she okay?"

"You're blood pressure is a little higher than it should be, Lexie. Was it normal, um, last time you checked it?" I could tell she was avoiding any mention of the baby or my pregnancy.

"Mom already spilled the beans on the baby." I said, shooting her a quick glare. "It was within normal levels at the ultrasound."

"It's not too bad. Go home and get some rest. I'll go with you if Gemma can watch Abel." Tara looked back at Gemma with raised brows. She nodded quickly.

"Of course. Alexis, I'm sorry." I heard some genuine tone to that, so I decided to forgive her. I knew she didn't mean to ruin the announcement.

"It's okay." I muttered. I was feeling less dizzy but the lightheaded feeling was still there. Happy gave me a hand up. "I've got to go talk to the nurses so they watch Chibs."

"No, you don't. Tara can go talk to them. I'm taking you out to the car." Happy said, turning me away from the hall I needed to go down. I thought about protesting but knew it wouldn't do any good. "Don't leave the clubhouse."

"The clubhouse? Happy. I need to relax not be on lockdown at the clubhouse." I said, looking up at him with a scowl.

"Alexis, somebody just blew a car up on our lot. We're on lockdown." Happy said sternly. I shook my head.

"Exactly, it happened on the lot. I wouldn't be any safer there than I would at home." I said, hoping he saw reason. He groaned and looked up into the dusky night sky.

"Fine. Both of you need to stay inside. The prospect is going to be inside with you. Okay, Lexie?" Happy said, looking me in the eye. I nodded, understanding that he was completely serious. I took a deep breath and rested my head against the seat of the car. Happy squatted down and rubbed my knee. "Nothing can happen to you two, Lexie."

"We're going to be fine. I promise." I said, running my hand over the short hair that was starting to come in over his scalp. He nodded and gave my knee a little squeeze as Tara got into the driver's seat of my car. "Call me if you move on anything or something happens."

"I will." He said with a nod. He looked over at Tara. "Keep me posted and make sure she rests."

"Of course." Tara said with a smile. Happy gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then closed the door. "He's great with you."

"Yeah. He is." I said, feeling lucky despite how shitty I felt. I turned moved the air conditioning blowers towards me so I could cool off some. "Thanks for taking care of me, Tara. I know you're busy with Abel."

"Lexie, you're the closest thing I'll ever have to a sister. Besides, Abel needs a cousin to play with." Tara laughed. I smiled and nodded, running my hand over my stomach. "Jax showed me your dad's manuscript."

"What? How? I thought he lost it." I said, wondering how he'd gotten it back from Mom. Tara nodded and turned into the driveway.

"Piney had a copy and gave it to Jax. Jax said he's going to fix the club. Do you think it's even possible?" Tara asked. I took a deep breath and lifted a shoulder. I wanted it to be possible for the sake of my child and Abel.

"I hope so. If anyone can do it, Jax can." I said, hoping to reassure her. She turned the engine off and unlocked the car doors. "I can make it to the door. I feel a little better."

We went inside along with Half-sack. He stayed in the living room while Tara and I went down the hall to the master bedroom. I toed my shoes off and changed into one of Happy's shirts before climbing into his side of the bed. I patted my side, inviting Tara to sit with me. She laughed and toed her shoes off before climbing onto the bed.

"We haven't done this in forever." Tara laughed. She was right, we hadn't shared a bed since we were teenagers. We used to have sleep-overs at least once a week. "This bed is so comfortable."

"I know. Why do you think I never want to leave it." I laughed. Tara giggled and I raised my brow at her.

"Oh, I don't know. It couldn't have anything to do with the father of your child." She teased. I gave her a wicked grin and nodded. She definitely had a point.

"Well, that's obvious." I admitted. "How are you and Jax doing? Any more problems with Ima or anything?"

"Not yet. He seems to be trying to make it up to me. I'm just glad you got me to say something to him before anything happened." She said with a sigh of relief. I was glad she had listened. "You never worry about Happy on the road or at Cara Cara?"

"Nah. Doesn't even cross my mind. He knows it's a deal breaker and I trust him." I explained. Tara's smile seemed to get a little sad. I knew there were still trust issues between she and Jax. It was my hope that they would work through them eventually.

We talked for a while longer before ordering a pizza. It was getting late and I was starting to wonder if Happy was going to come home for the night or stay at the clubhouse. I was feeling better, besides being fairly exhausted, so I eventually convinced Tara to go home. Half-sack was hesitant to give her a ride home so I let her take my car instead.

"You're supposed to be watching the house, shit-head." Happy's voice boomed from down the hallway. I rolled out of the bed and walked into the living room. Half-sack was still rubbing his eyes as Happy took his kutte off and hung it by the door. "Lexie, you trying to get this kid killed?"

"No. I'm trying to get my man to bed." I said, standing in nothing but his t-shirt and panties. He shook his head and pointed back down the hall where I'd come from. I crossed my arms over my chest and stood my ground. "Happy Lowman, you're escorting me to bed."

"Stop snickering and get out of here." Happy snapped at the prospect who was snickering. I pouted my lips and Happy shook his head. "Keep pouting like that, baby. It's getting me hard."

"Uh, okay. Bye." Half-sack said, rushing out of the house. Happy locked the door behind him and turned to look at me. I smirked and turned on my heel, swaying my hips and pulling the shirt off as I walked back to the bedroom. He was right on my heels.

"Feeling better, huh?" He asked, pinning me down onto the bed. I nodded and ran my finger along the inside of the chain around his neck. He leaned down and kissed my neck.

"I think you still have some making up to do." I whispered. He nodded and kissed my chest. I raised my hips and let him pull my panties off. He threw them off the bed with one hand and undid his belt with the other. I felt him fill me and forgot the rest of the world existed. We took it slow and gentle for once and I forgot just how intense it could be. The long, slow thrusts and the deep kisses, it was the closest thing to perfect I'd ever experienced. Afterwards, I laid in his arms and traced my fingers over his tattoos.

"You aren't going to work tomorrow are you?" He asked, kissing my shoulder. I shook my head. I'd decided to take a few days off and go see my doctor before I returned to surgery. I wasn't taking any chances with the baby. "It's going to be a busy day. I don't want you going anywhere unless it's to the clubhouse or Jax's. Okay?"

"Okay, baby. When you say busy you mean," I let my question drop off and I felt him nod behind me. I nodded, a nervous feeling settling into the bottom of my stomach. Busy meant dangerous. Busy meant payback.


	28. Chapter 28

Finally my crazy tablet copies the right thing to fix this! Thanks again elbeewoods

Chapter 28

I was chewing on the side of my nails, waiting for some news or an update. I hated sitting and waiting. I wanted to know what was going on. The last thing I had heard from Happy was him telling me they were headed out and he'd call me when he was on his way home. That was almost three hours ago.

"Hello?" I answered my phone as soon as it lit up. It didn't even have a chance to start vibrating and I didn't waste time looking at who was calling.

"Lexie, are you home?" It was Opie. I didn't like that he was calling me instead of Happy or Jax. It was too random. I swallowed hard and stood up.

"Yes." I answered, starting to pace back and forth in the living room. I heard a motorcycle start up and I bit my lip. I didn't want to think about the worst. I didn't want to believe that Opie was calling me because Jax and Happy couldn't.

"I'll see you in a few minutes." I started asking why. I asked what was going on but the call was already over. I shook my head, pushing my hair out of my face and resting my hand on top of my head. I was going to be sick. I took a couple deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. Worrying wasn't going to do anything. It wasn't going to change anything. Still, I couldn't help it. After what felt like an hour, I finally heard a single motorcycle.

"What's going on?" I asked, rushing out to the curb in front of the house. Opie was just turning his bike off and standing up. He looked at me with a frown and I started taking a couple steps away from him, as if I could run from the truth. "What happened?"

"Lexie, he's okay. Nobody got hurt." Opie said, raising his palms and taking a couple steps toward me. "It was a fucking trap. We went in expecting AB thugs and it looked like a damn church service. I went after Zobelle and when I came back, they were cuffed and getting loaded into a police transport."

"How did the cops get there that fast?" I was surprised to hear the question come out of my mouth. It just wasn't making any sense. Walking into a trap where women and kids were there in place of AB members, that was one thing. The police getting there that fast. There was something missing.

"Jax told Clay that Hale had Sheriffs on the way to bust the AB. Clay was worried we'd miss our chance to get Zobelle, so we went in." Opie said. I blinked and looked up at him. They knew the cops were on the way but they went in anyways? Sure, Clay was president but were they all really that stupid. I turned away to go back inside. I was done talking. I felt Opie grab my arm to stop me but I shook it off. "Lexie."

"You're all sheep. Following Clay no matter where that leads you." I felt my upper lip curl at him angrily. "Leave me alone and don't you dare have anyone watching this house."

I walked to the bedroom and stared at his side of the bed, wondering how long it was going to stay empty. I already missed him but I was so angry. He'd chosen to go along with a stupid plan, knowing it would probably end with him sitting in prison. I closed my eyes. Did he even think about the baby and I? The more I thought about it, the angrier I was. I was angry at the whole lot of them. I grabbed my pillow and a blanket and headed to the guest bedroom for the night.

"Automatic weapons charges?" Tara sounded exasperated. Mom was tight lipped but I could see worry written all over her face. Tara looked at me and frowned. I leaned back in Jax's recliner and rested my hand on my stomach.

"Have they set a bail?" Mom asked after a hard swallow. Lohen, the club's lawyer, frowned and looked over at me. I looked away. There was enough going on in my head without wondering what she was thinking about my reaction.

"Three million, bond would be three hundred thousand." Lohen said with a sigh. As much as I hated to admit it, it made sense. There were six of them and they were facing automatic weapons charges among others. Five hundred thousand each wasn't that outrageous, not considering what they got caught doing. I glanced over to see a sickened look on Tara's face and near terror in Mom's eyes. I finally looked at Lohen.

"Do they have protection?" I didn't see any point in beating around the bush. The six of them couldn't survive in Stockton without a larger group supporting them. From what Happy had told me about his previous prison sentences, most of your support came from those of the same race. Unfortunately, going after Zobelle's men meant going after the AB. White wouldn't be on their side and they'd have to pay a price to get in with anyone else.

"Not yet. Gemma, Clay needs you to make a call." Lohen handed over a small piece of folded up paper. She was breaking the law for the club. Did they pay her that well or was there something else that would motivate a lawyer to break the rule. I didn't want to know. I already knew more than I desired. I stood up and walked down the hall to see Abel. For me, the meeting was over. I'd heard all I needed to.

"Hey, baby boy." I cooed, picking him up and cradling him against my chest. His eyes were bright and happy. "I wish I could be like you. With so much going on, you're still smiling. I hope you never have to understand how bad things can be."

"What's left of the insurance money?" It was a valid question but it was one I hoped Mom would never actually ask. Even if the policy had been anywhere close to that amount, it would be a hard decision to use my deceased husband's insurance for bail money. I knew what decision I would make in the end, but it would still weigh heavy on my mind.

"Nothing close to what we need. What I have left wouldn't come close to bailing one of them out." I said, refusing to get specific about my finances with her. I turned my attention back to Abel who was still smiling up at me.

"You don't even seem worried about finding the money." Mom said with a bite to her voice. I shook my head and rocked Abel in my arms.

"The father of my child is in there along with my brother. I want them out just as much as you do." I said, trying to keep my tone even so Abel didn't become upset.

"Your step-father is in there to." She said, taking a step towards me. I rolled my eyes and gave Abel a soft kiss on the forehead before laying him back down in the crib.

"He can rot in there for all I care." I said, stalking past Mom on my way out of the nursery. I didn't hang around for her reaction. I gave Tara a hug and kiss goodbye before leaving Jax's house.

I sat down in the arm chair and took a deep breath. The beeping of the monitors actually had a calming effect. Chibs was sleeping and the attending had already been in to check on him, so it was quiet and calm. In a strange way, sitting in a hospital room with a car bomb victim was exactly what I needed. I ran my hand over my stomach and wondered if I would have to raise our child alone. Would she or he ever get to see their father outside of a prison visitation room?

"If ya looked any more depressed, I'd think you was the one that got blown up." I looked up from the tiled floor to see Chibs giving me a warm smile. I nodded stood up to check his vitals. "Sit down, lass. You aren't working. What's got you sitting in here with the likes of me?"

"Most everyone else is sitting in Stockton." I grumbled. Chibs frowned and shook his head a little before he hissed in pain. I rolled my eyes. "You don't need to move around, Chibs. Especially don't move your hard head."

"Aye. What are they in for?" I told him everything I knew, not holding back in my description of Clay's stupidity. He was angry that he hadn't been there with them. I assured him that being hospital ridden was a lot better than Stockton. "The baby doing okay with all this?"

"I have an appointment tomorrow. After I saved your melon, I got pretty sick." I said with a little smile. It wasn't his fault but I hoped that it would get his mind off the club, if that were even possible. He patted his hand on an empty spot of the bed, inviting me over. I took a deep breath and walked over, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"What ya want to do and need to do are two different things. He's going to need you, Lexie, more than ever." Chibs said. I looked away from him and shook my head.

"Our child needs a father in the picture, not one sitting in Stockton." He frowned and nodded his head. I knew he understood where I was coming from.

"Don't give up on him just yet, Alexis. That man loves ya. We've got good lawyers. There's still hope." Chibs said, patting my hand. I didn't feel relieved. I didn't feel any less stressed or worried. I frowned tried to fight back my tears.

"You need to get some rest. I'll let the doctor know you're awake. I'll stop by and see you tomorrow after my doctor's appointment." I said, squeezing his hand as I stood up. I made sure to take a look at his vitals before walking out to the nurse's station. I was glad to see him making a recovery. It was the silver lining of one of the many dark clouds hanging above me.

On my way back home, I noticed Mom walking out of a church, pushing Abel in a stroller. I knew she was up to something, so I pulled over to see what she was doing.

"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked, stepping out of the car. She seemed surprised to see me.

"I needed some guidance." Mom said. I pursed my lips, not buying that excuse for a second. "I ran into Elliot Oswald."

"Mom, tell me you didn't ask him for bail money." I groaned, rubbing my forehead. "He doesn't owe the club anything."

"The club brought his daughter justice, Alexis. It would just be a loan." Mom scoffed. I rolled my eyes and tossed the car door closed. "I'm trying to help our family."

"Extorting an innocent family isn't the right way to do it." I said as she started walking away. I took a deep breath in and let it out quickly as she walked away without another word. I looked up at the church. The last time I'd stepped into one before Hank's funeral was when I was thirteen. I'd given up on God giving me my father back and walked away from religion.

"Dr. Teller!" I looked up at my name, unaccustomed to hearing it outside of the hospital. Tristen ran up and gave me a hug. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you doing?" I realized it could be a complicated question. I wouldn't know how to answer honestly if someone asked me. The same question.

"Mom and Dad found me someone to talk to. She's nice and I like talking to someone that isn't family." She said, lifting her shoulders shyly. I smiled and gave her a quick hug. "Thank you so much for helping me, Dr. Teller."

"You don't have to thank me, Tristen." I saw her father walking out of the church with a serious expression. I assumed he probably thought I was here for the same reason my mother was. I gave him a smile and motioned towards the church. "It's been over twenty years since I've been in here. Think they'll still let me in?"

"You should be good. You've got some credit." Elliot said with a smile. I smirked and nodded, knowing he was referring to Tristen. "I'm sorry about your brother."

"Don't." I held up my hand and gave him a warm smile. "They made their choices. Mom was wrong to come to you."

He didn't say anything but gave me a kind nod. I told Tristen goodbye and then took a couple steps towards the church doors. I wasn't sure why, but I pulled the door open and walked inside. The ceiling towered above me and a large, stain glass window looked down on me. I slid into on of the pews closest to the door and stared at the window. I didn't know what I was expecting. Guidance like my mother had mentioned or maybe just some solace from everything going on outside the double doors. I sat in the pew, just thinking until my phone started vibrating in my pocket.

"What did you say to Oswald?" Mom asked before I could even say hello. I exited the chapel and realized it was already getting dark.

"What?" I asked, unlocking my car.

"He's going to post bail for them in the morning. What did you do?" I sighed. Elliot was a better man than the club really deserved. I just hoped he didn't end up regretting his decision.

"I didn't do anything. I just ran into them on my way inside the church." I started the car and headed home. I knew I should have been excited that Happy would be home soon. I couldn't help worrying that he would ultimately be leaving again though.

"Well, they should be home by lunch tomorrow. You need to be at the clubhouse to welcome them home." Mom said.

"I can't be. I have an appointment." I said. She fussed about changing the appointment until I ended the call in the middle of her rant. It wasn't that I didn't want to welcome them home, at least not entirely, I just had to make sure I was okay to go back to work and that the baby was okay. When I got home, I drew a warm bath and lit some candles to relax.

I thought about what Chibs had said about Happy needing me more than ever. I was going to be there for him, no matter what. That didn't mean I was going to sit back and just let him do his best to ruin what we had. In a few short months, life wasn't going to revolve around just the two of us anymore. I had hoped that Happy would be there to help me. It seemed like I wasn't going to be able to depend on anyone but myself. I felt more alone than ever.

"You seem stressed." Dr. Lee said as the nurse took my blood pressure. I nodded, not wanting to elaborate any further until we were alone. I trusted Dr. Lee and knew she would keep our conversations private. I didn't know her staff so the same could not be said for them. "You look like you've gained a few pounds, that's good."

"I've increased my calories." I said, lifting my arm a little so the nurse could take the cuff off. Dr. Lee nodded and documented my blood pressure in the chart as the nurse left the room. "Is it high?"

"Well, it's higher than last time but you aren't close to dangerous levels. You said on the phone that you got dizzy and lightheaded after a surgery?" She asked, sitting on her rolling stool. Those stools were part of the reason I wanted to be a doctor when I was little. They looked so fun.

"Yes. It wasn't from hunger or fatigue so I took a few personal days until I could get in to see you and find out everything was okay." I said nervously. I wanted everything to be okay. She walked over to me and started feeling of my stomach.

"Have you had any stomach pains or cramping?" She kept feeling of my stomach and I started to panic. Those were symptoms of a miscarriage. Did she think I'd lost the baby? "Alexis, breathe."

"No. I haven't had either. What's wrong?" My knuckles were starting to go numb from grabbing the side of the examination table so tightly. Dr. Lee stepped back and shook her head.

"I was only asking to see if there were any gastrointestinal problems, Alexis. Your labs have come back normal and you're healthy overall. I believe everything may be stress related. You're making your body react to something that isn't even wrong. I don't want to put you on bed rest this early on but if you aren't able to relax then I'll have no other option." Dr. Lee said, sitting back down on her stool. She made a few notes in the chart and then looked back up at me. "Is everything okay at home? Is Happy still on board with the baby?"

"Yeah, yeah he's thrilled about the baby. The problem is more with the club than at home. Unfortunately it's hard to separate the two." I said, picking at my nail polish. Dr. Lee nodded and closed the chart.

"Maybe find some ways to relax that are independent of the club, Alexis. Get out of town for a couple days, even if it's just to San Francisco or the lake." It wasn't as easy as she made it sound, especially now that Happy would be out on bail. Instead of seeming difficult, I gave her a nod and a little smile. "Would an ultrasound today make you relax?"

"Probably." I said, unable to lie about needing to see the baby. She chuckled and excused herself to go get the tech and the machine. Half an hour later, I had a couple new ultrasound prints and reassurance that the baby was okay. Dr. Lee had offered to try and check the gender but I refused. I knew it was a long shot and more importantly I knew that Happy would want to be there for it. I stopped by to check in on Chibs after my appointment but he was sound asleep. I looked over his chart and everything seemed to be improving. I let him sleep and headed to T-M.

When I got to the clubhouse, Jax was walking out of the garage. There was no one else in sight. He flicked a cigarette away and walked over, throwing his arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek. It was odd that he was out there alone when everyone else was probably inside. I noticed some bruising and a cut on his lip.

"I'm okay." He said before I got a chance to ask him about it. "I need to go in there before Clay fucks more shit up."

"Okay. I'll be here." I wasn't saying it for his benefit. I was saying it so I made a commitment to someone other than myself, otherwise I may have left.

"How's my grandchild?" Mom asked as I walked past her to get a water out of the refrigerator behind the bar. I nodded and took a drink.

"Okay. The doctor said stress is what's making me feel sick." I said, looking her dead in the eyes. She pursed her lips and waved her hand dismissively.

"You always worried to much. You need to relax." She said. I nodded sarcastically and took another drink. "When are you due?"

"March 15th." I said, glancing up as the double doors opened. As everyone filed out, you could see a mix of emotions on their face. Sure, they were happy to get out of Stockton but this wasn't their first rodeo. They knew that there was a good chance they would be going back. Happy walked over to me and I felt a chill go up my spine.

"Hey, what did the doctor say?" Happy asked as he pulled me into his arms. I slowly thawed and wrapped my arm around his waist. I couldn't help the tears that started to fall. I was angry and scared and relieved all at once. It was all too much. "Lexie."

"The baby is good. She just said that I was too stressed." I pressed my forehead onto his chest and let myself cry for a couple minutes. He didn't let me go. He just smoothed my hair and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm sorry, baby." I closed my eyes and the tears stopped. His arms dropped slowly as I took a step back. All of the anger I had built up came to the surface. Happy must have seen the anger in my eyes. "Lexie, not here."

"You're sorry? You're an idiot, that's what you are. I can't believe you were that stupid." I said shoving him back. His tightened his jaws but he didn't make another move. He just stood there and took all of the rage I had been holding in. "Did you even think about me or the baby? What about your Mom, Happy? There's people out here that need you and care about you. People outside of the club that you just seem to follow blindly."

"Are you done?" He asked. My shoulders dropped and I let out a huff. We stood there in silence for a moment, neither of us aware of anything or anyone else around. He took a step forward and I took a step back. "I always think about you, Alexis. You and our kid."

"Then why did you go in? With everything you knew, why did you go in?" I asked, wishing I could just understand what they'd done.

"Do you think our daughter or son would be proud if I let everyone else walk in there while I just sat back and watched? You think I want everyone else to get revenge for what they did to my old lady without me?" I opened my mouth to argue but then I snapped it shut. It was my fault they went in there. If I'd kept my mouth shut they would have taken their time, planned ahead. Happy shook his head and closed our distance quickly. "It's not your fault, Alexis. Stop thinking it is."

"Without me." Happy cut me off with a harsh kiss. I was too shocked to continue what I was saying after he pulled back.

"Yeah, Alexis. Without you. Without you I'd have no damn reason to care if we'd made bail or sat in there until court." He kissed me again and then took a step back.

"What are you doing?" I choked as he kneeled down. All of the background noise that had been swirling and buzzing around us came to abrupt halt. He had everyone's attention.

"Marry me, Alexis. You make me a better person. You give me a reason to live. I love you, Alexis." Happy reached into the inner pocket of his kutte and pulled out a white gold ring with a black solitaire. I swallowed hard, wondering if this was really happening. I had just finished yelling at him and shoving him. Everything was happening so fast. First getting back together, then the baby and now he was proposing. "Will you marry me, Alexis Teller?"


	29. Chapter 29

**a/n: Yes, this is a very short chapter. Yes, I've taken forever to update. Yes, I'm very very sorry! I'm working through a roadblock with this and want to make sure that everything is perfect! Bear with me! Thank you for all of your support, as always. In the mean time, if you wanted to check out Black Roses (a new story I'm working on)**

Chapter 29

Time seemed to come to an abrupt halt when Happy asked me to marry him. The Earth screeched to a halt and it seemed like the fate of the world rested upon my shoulders. I could feel dozens of eyes staring at me, none were more felt than Happy's eyes. There was no question that I loved him. I didn't even doubt my desire to be with him for the rest of our lives. It was the nagging feeling that I was doing wrong by Hank that kept everything up in the air. The realist in me knew that Hank was dead and that no matter what we had before, it was in the past. There was another part of me that wondered if getting engaged or getting married just months after his death would be a dishonor to his memory. I felt a slight stir in my stomach and the world started rotating again. I wasn't sure how many minutes had passed but I knew everyone was still staring at me as a smile grew across my lips.

"Yes. A hundred times yes." I told Happy, my smile growing even wider. He stood up quickly and jerked me to him. He had a hand behind my neck as he kissed me deeply. His other hand slid the ring onto my finger. Everyone started whistling and cheering. I giggled excitedly and pulled back, raising my hand up for everyone to see.

"You had me worried for a second." Happy whispered into my hair. I smiled and shook my head.

"Don't be." I kissed him on the cheek before Tara pulled me into a hug. I laughed and realized that I was actually relaxing. Jax gave Happy a short nod before giving him a brotherly hug. It was official. I was pregnant by and engaged to one of the most feared members of the Sons of Anarchy. He was mine and I was his. I knew that he'd never hurt me or our child. He had a big heart, despite his tough exterior.

I wasn't blinded by his proposal. I knew that he was still going to go to prison. I knew that there was a good chance that I would raise our child from birth through being a toddler by myself. It didn't change the fact that I loved him though. It would never change that. I smiled and pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. The club needed every happy moment we could get.

"Congratulations, sweetheart." Tig kissed my cheek after giving me a hug. He was always like an uncle to me, a perverted, inappropriate uncle. He'd been part of my family since before I was born. I saw Clay standing to come congratulate us and I knew it was time for me to leave. Talking to Clay would shatter what happiness I was feeling. Happy noticed my repositioning my bag on my shoulder. He looked over to see Clay slowly making his way over and gave me a nod.

"I'll wait for you outside." I squeezed his hand and snaked my way through the crowded room, making an effort to avoid my mother's husband. I didn't have to wait long after exiting the clubhouse. Happy walked up and leaned against the side of my car.

"You know this doesn't fix what's happened, right?" I asked. He nodded simply and took my hands in his.

"I've been planning on asking you to marry me for a few weeks. I guess if you said yes after shoving me and calling me an idiot then you really mean it." He said, trying to make light of the situation. I sighed and moved closer to him.

"Of course I really mean it. I'm still angry though." I said, feeling tired of all the ups and downs. Happy nodded and gave my hand a squeeze.

"I know. We'll figure something out, baby. We always do." I decided to believe him, even if it wasn't true. I needed to believe that something good could happen. "Let's go home."

"Okay." I stepped back to let him go to his motorcycle but he got in the driver's seat instead. I didn't question it. I wasn't going to complain about some more time with him. When we got home, Happy went straight to the bedroom. I put my bag away and took my medicine with a glass of water before joining him. He was sitting on the end of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry." He said before I mustered up the courage to ask him what he was thinking. I sat down beside him and stared at the floor. I didn't know what to say. I didn't forgive him. I probably wouldn't for a while. "When I thought about what we were about to do, I could only see your face when you told me what happened. It's not an excuse. I'm just letting you know what I was thinking."

"Happy, when we decided to have this baby, I thought we were going to do it together. Now there's no telling how long you'll be gone. I don't want to explain why Daddy can't come home with us." I said, feeling my bottom lip start to quiver. "I don't want to lose you."

"I know, Lexie." His response was simple. I leaned my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "I'm going to be around as much as I can before we go in. We need to find a house, get settled and ready for the kid."

"Okay." I heard a silent "because I won't be here when he or she is born" at the end of his sentence. It was heart breaking. Talking about it wasn't making anything better. I stood up and headed to the kitchen. I heard the shower turn on as I looked through the cabinets for something to make for dinner. I wasn't even hungry. I just needed something to do.

Neither one of us talked much during dinner or afterwards when we went to bed. He held me to his chest as he fell asleep. Even if I could have slept, I would have tried to stay awake to savor his presence. It made me start to wonder if maybe I had been lucky to not see Hank's death coming. Sure, I knew there was a risk because of his job but it came and went relatively quickly. If I had known it was coming for weeks, I would have spent all of my time worrying and thinking like I was about Happy going to prison. Worse than that, I knew that there was a chance he wouldn't make it out alive. If it wasn't for my medicine, realizing that would have made me throw up.

"Dr. Teller, do you have a minute?" I looked up, wondering what family member needed me then. I was still taking a break from surgery but doing rounds and speaking with families may have been worse, I wasn't sure. "June Stahl, ATF."

"Then no." I said, grabbing my next patient's chart out of the rack at the nurse's station. I really didn't have much time, especially not for the ATF. "This is a hospital. This is where I work. Unless you are visiting someone or need medical assistance, I would appreciate it if you left. You can make an appointment with my attorney if you need to speak with me."

"I'm just here for a friendly chat. I think I could help you. Your brother, your step-father, your boyfriend-they're all in a lot of trouble. I'd hate for your baby to grow up without their father." Stahl said, following me down the hall. I stopped and turned on my heel. Her eyes widened.

"Last time I checked, feds can be charged with harassment as well. I am not a subject in your investigation. You have no right to badger me." I had briefly wanted to be a lawyer during my undergrad. Stahl smiled and gave me her business card before heading for the exit. I knew it wouldn't be the last time I saw her, but at least she was gone for the moment.

"What's up?" Happy asked, walking out of the garage with grease up to his elbows. I hadn't planned on stopping by on my way home until the fed showed up at St. Thomas. I explained what happened and let him know I wasn't going to give her anything on the club. "You don't have to tell me, Alexis. I know you're not a rat."

"I have a OBGYN appointment next week. I'm hoping we can find out the gender." I said, running my hand over my growing baby bump. He nodded and bent down to give me a kiss. "You stink."

"I know." He said, kissing me anyways. I couldn't resist smiling. "Go home and relax, baby. I'll be there in a couple hours."

"Be safe." I knew the garage was about to close. If he was going to be that long, he was probably going to do something for or with the club. He nodded and kissed my forehead before walking back into the garage to finish whatever project he was working on.


	30. Chapter 30

**It's been so long since I've updated this! I'm sorry! I hit a wall and it took me a while to get through it. In the end, I decided to get a little A/U with the next few chapters. Thank you all for your reviews, support and patience!**

Chapter 30

"What's wrong with this one?" I asked after the realtor stepped outside to give us a few minutes to talk about the third house we'd looked at that day. Happy had a major issue with every one. First he didn't like the neighbors, then the windows weren't safe. I was starting to think he was just going to say no to everything.

"The yard is a little small." He said, putting his hands on the edge of the kitchen sink and looking out over the backyard. It was the largest yard out of the three and he hadn't complained about the yard in the last two houses. I scrubbed my face with my hand and leaned against the kitchen island.

"What's really wrong?" I asked, no longer believing that the problem had anything to do with the house. He let his head drop and I watched his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath.

"We're looking at houses for a family I won't even be a part of." Happy said. I bit my bottom lip and stepped over to him. He didn't turn around until I put my hand on his back. "Our kid will outgrow the yard before I even get out."

"You don't know that, Happy. You haven't been to court yet." He rolled his eyes and moved to shake his head before I put my palms on either side of his face. "It doesn't matter if you're here or in Serbia. You'll always be a part of this family, our family. I like this house."

"I like the neighbors." Happy muttered. Jax's house was diagonal to the house we were standing in. I laughed and kissed his cheek. "The house is good if you like it."

"I do. The neighbors are a little questionable though." He smirked and then kissed my lips. "So, do you want to put in an offer?"

Everything was being rushed because we didn't know how much longer we had before he and the majority of the club would be going to Stockton. We were looking at houses in the morning and hoping to have the offer signed and the process started by the afternoon. I was doing everything I could not to show how much his departure was really going to bother me, for his sake. I saved most of my tears for when he was at the garage or my lunch breaks at work.

"Yeah." He gave me a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. I hated that he was hurting as much if not more than I was. "Go start the car. I'll talk to Rob."

I took the keys from him and headed out of the house that we would hopefully get moved into before he had to leave. I started the engine and glanced out of the window to see Happy and Rob talking on the sidewalk. Rob looked like he was going to be sick, but he'd looked like that every time Happy had gotten close to him. A few minutes later, Happy got in the passenger seat and squeezed my thigh.

"He's sending the papers over in a few hours." Happy said, driving us back to Tara's to celebrate and start packing. Four days later, we were running late for my doctor's appointment. The closer we got to the court date, the more we seemed to be rushing.

"Let's go get you probed." Happy said, rubbing my stomach. I rolled my eyes and backed out of the driveway. "It's a girl."

"You can't know that." I said with a laugh. He nodded and leaned the seat back. He'd barely gotten much sleep in the past few days. It only got worse after we went down to Bakersfield to tell his Mom about everything that was going on. We'd saved the bad news for last but she still hadn't taken it well. There was a lot of back and forth in Spanish that I didn't understand but by her angry tone and Happy's submissive posture, I knew she was putting him in his place.

"Okay. Alexis, Happy, are you two ready?" The doctor asked as she squeezed the ultrasound gel onto my bare stomach. I tightened my hold on Happy's hand, hating the cold gel. He nodded and watched the screen intently. I closed my eyes, hoping the baby would cooperate, just in case Happy couldn't make the next appointment. The doctor started rubbing the wand over my stomach and I looked over at the screen.

"Is that her nose?" Happy asked as the baby's head came into view. The doctor chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You don't know it's a her, Hap." I said. At first I had been leaning more towards wanting a little boy but knowing how his heart was set on a girl won me over. The doctor paused the wand right above my navel and clicked a couple keys on the computer.

"Do you want to know now or are you planning a reveal?" She asked, looking from me to Happy. I shook my head and Happy scowled. She held her free hand up to apologize before zooming in on the screen. "We can't always guarantee what we're seeing but this is a nearly perfect image. Congratulations. It's a girl."

"A girl?" Happy asked in a near whisper. The doctor nodded and I looked up to see his eyes starting to glisten. "We're having a girl."

"We are." I said before his lips were on mine. I could barley manage to kiss him because of my huge smile. "Go call your Mom, baby."

"Maybe she'll be too happy to bitch at me some more." He said. I kissed his cheek and gave him a reassuring nod. Once he was out of the room, I turned to the doctor.

"Is it possible to detect any cardiac problems yet?" I asked quietly. She turned from the monitor and nodded, sitting down on the stool.

"You know we've been watching everything closely since your first appointment. Your daughter's heartbeat is strong and her growth schedule is on par for your gestation. Your blood pressure is still a little higher than we would like to see it." She said, wiping my stomach off. I nodded and looked up at the ceiling tiles.

"There's some things going on." I stated. I had to find a way to get my blood pressure down. I didn't have time for bed rest and I wanted to give our little girl every chance to be healthy.

"Life doesn't stop because we get pregnant. Try talking to someone. I know your lives can be, complicated. Is there anyone you can talk to?" I appreciated her understanding that I couldn't just talk to anyone about what had my stress levels elevated. I had Tara though. Without her, I probably would have been on bed rest since the third week.

"I do. Thank you." I said, sitting up and pulling my shirt down. She gave me a hand off the table so I could pull my jeans up and button them. They were getting a little tight and I'd already gone up a size. Happy met me in the waiting room and held his hand out expectantly. I laughed and handed him the copies of the ultrasound.

"Go ahead and say it." I grinned and looked at Happy who was staring at the ultrasound picture when we got in the car. He laughed and shook his head. I felt my phone vibrating in my bag and dug around for it. I answered it just before it went to voicemail. "Tara! Hey, what's up?"

"You're mother is driving me insane. She wants this big family dinner tonight and gave me a mile long list to go to the store with. Please tell me you have good news." She said with an exhausted laugh. I smiled as Happy slid a copy of the ultrasound into his inside, chest pocket.

"We're having a girl." I caught Happy's lips curving into a smile as he backed out of the parking spot. "Do you need some help at the store? I don't mind."

"That would be great. Happy doesn't mind?" Tara asked. I told her not to worry about it. I knew Happy was going over to the clubhouse for church and to meet with Lohen. I dropped him off to get his motorcycle and headed over to Tara and Jax's.

We were in the middle of grocery shopping when I started feeling anxious. It seemed like everyone was watching us. In the back of my mind, I knew it was crazy to think that. Still, it made me uncomfortable enough to step outside for some air. I leaned against the brick façade and used some breathing exercises I'd read about in a recent medical journal. I caught a glimpse of blonde hair out of the corner of my eye.

"You." I growled as Zobelle's daughter got into a sedan. I felt like I was in autopilot. I got into my car and started following the young woman, careful to stay a few cars back at all times. It wasn't easy in the sparse, Charming traffic. I watched as she turned into the driveway of a plain looking house on a plain looking street. I parked on the opposite side of the street and a few houses down so that I could still see her but she wouldn't be alerted to my presence. I watched as she walked up to the front door and walked right in. She looked so normal. You wouldn't know how black her soul was just by looking at her.

I got out of the car and closed the door, careful not to make much noise. I had my bag on my shoulder and my hand down in the bag, grasping my pistol. When I got to the front door, I heard yelling. I drew my pistol and tried the knob. She'd left it unlocked. There was a single gunshot before I even had the door open.

"Oh my god." I said, looking at her lifeless form across the living room. Agent Stahl turned around with wide eyes.

"She drew on me." She said, motioning to the gun that had fallen beside the woman. I walked over, dropping my own gun back in my bag. "Here, hold this. I'm trying CPR. She's worth more to me alive."

"What are you doing?" I asked as she rose to her feet. She hadn't even tried one compression. I looked at the gun in my hand and narrowed my eyes. She'd just ensured that my prints were all over the murder weapon. "You bitch."

"You have ten seconds to start telling me everything I need to know about the Sons of Anarchy and the Real IRA." Stahl said, raising a full size pistol at me. "Give me the gun."

"I'm not telling you shit." I tossed the gun on the ground in front of her feet and turned away. I heard her calling out shots fired and requesting back-up as I ran out of the house. I wasn't stupid. She was going to use me as the scapegoat. I was going to be charged with a murder I'd longed to do but was denied the chance.

**Happy's POV**

"Juice, turn that up." Jax said. I ended what was probably my fiftieth call to Lexie's phones. Tara had called and said that she left her at the grocery store, no explanation or anything. It wasn't like Lexie.

"All units, be on the look out for Alexis Grace Teller-Grant, white female, five foot eight, blonde hair. Party is considered armed and dangerous. Will be suspect in double homicide. Any contact: use extreme caution, stop, hold and notify for ATF Agent Stahl." I stared at the police scanner, trying to remember if this was some fucked up nightmare or not. Jax pushed his hair back and turned to look at me.

"That's bullshit. She wouldn't risk our daughter." I said, racking my brain for where she may be headed. I knew Alexis. She was smart. She would ditch her car but she wouldn't risk getting a ride with anyone. No, she'd boost a car. Tig showed her how to hotwire cars when she was a teenager. Where would she go though. She wouldn't risk staying in Charming.

"Mom can't know about this. Her damn heart will give out." Jax said, looking around the room. My burner started vibrating on the table and I lunged for it.

"Alexis, where the fuck are you?" I was too worried about her to not sound angry. I needed to know she was safe and I needed to be with her.

"Hap." I heard the tears in her voice and kicked my chair over in blind rage. "I didn't hurt anyone, Happy. I didn't."

"I know, baby. Where are you?" I asked, turning my back on the room to avoid seeing anyone else's worry or anger.

"I shouldn't have left. I was terrified. I'm sorry." She cried. I shook my head and imagined twisting Stahl's head of her long neck. She had to be behind this bull shit. "I'm going to my grandpa's. You can't follow me. They'll be watching you."

"Damnit, Alexis! Why did you leave Tara? We've got a kid on the way. You stop to think about that for a second?" I knew I would regret yelling at her soon but I couldn't help it. She thought I'd been reckless for going in on the raid and she pulled this shit.

"Hap, let me talk to her." Jax said, stepping in front of me and holding out his hand for the phone. I slammed it into his hand and turned towards the door.

"I knew she'd be trouble. Should have kept her ass in Georgia." Clay grumbled. I pulled my Glock and leveled it in line with his forehead.

"I don't care where you sit at the table. Talk about her like that again and it's going to be the last thing you say." I had my finger on the trigger. All it would take was a couple pounds of pressure and the hollow-point bullet would find it's mark right between his eyes. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that killing him didn't make sense at the moment. I holstered the Glock and yanked the door open. I had to get out of the room before I did something I would regret.

"What's the plan?" I asked Jax when he sat my phone in front of me. I had gotten a beer out of the fridge but couldn't even open it.

"You're not going to like it." He said, leaning on the bar. I put the phone in my pocket as I stood up.

"If it ends in my old lady and our baby being safe, I don't give a shit." I growled. I didn't care how we got from point a to point b, as long as point b was safe for my family. Jax went over the plan and he was right, I didn't like it. It made sense though. We were getting Tig up to Eureka to keep Lexie safe and move her if need be. The plan relied on us giving Tig a head-start to get on the road without a tail. After that, we had to get Lohen to figure out a way for her to come back home without going to prison.

The plan had a lot of moving pieces and a loot of room for error. It was the best thing we had though. I took the ultrasound picture out of my pocket and looked at our little girl.

"Whatever it takes." I muttered before securing it back in my pocket. I followed Jax back into the chapel to finish hammering out some of the details.


	31. Chapter 31

**Fingers crossed I will have another update tonight or tomorrow! Thank you for all the reviews and messages about this story! Still have a ways to go, just going a little slower now.**

Chapter 31

"Hey sweetheart." Tig said, walking through the front door of my grandfather's home as if he was just coming over for dinner. I took a look around outside before quickly ducking back inside. Grandpa walked out of the living room and pointed a shaking finger at Tig.

"Who are you? Get out of my house!" He yelled. I hated to see him like that. He had always been a strong minded man but dementia was taking its toll in a big way. When I got to my grandparent's home, I had assumed my grandmother would answer the door and give me hell. I then found out that she had passed just a couple weeks prior. I couldn't honestly mourn her loss personally, we were never that close. I was saddened to see how much worse Grandpa had gotten and how he still looked for her though.

"Grandpa, this is Tig. He's a friend! It's okay." I said, patting his arm. He didn't look too convinced but he turned back to the living room and returned to his chair. I sighed and looked back at Tig. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, doll face. How are you doing?" He asked, glancing down to my stomach. I took a deep breath and waited until Grandpa's care taker was out of the living room to answer.

"I miss Happy and the stress is making me sick. If he asks I'm okay though. Don't make him worry any more." I said. I didn't want to add anymore to Happy's already full plate. I felt so guilty. I shouldn't have followed that dumb bitch. I sighed and motioned for Tig to follow me into the kitchen. He put his palm between my shoulder blades in a failed attempt to bring me some comfort.

"Lohen's working on making all this go away. Said it would have been better if you came in from the get go though. Physical evidence and everything. Don't worry though. She's paid the big bucks to save our asses." Tig said with a forced laugh. I sat down at the kitchen table and ran my hand over my stomach.

"I just wanted everything to be okay, Tig. I wasn't happy about you all going inside but I was prepared. I had plans. The baby was going to keep me occupied and I was going to do some consulting once she was a few months old." Tig's eyes lit up and I realized what I said. Surprising everyone with the gender didn't seem nearly as important anymore. I shrugged and took a deep breath. "Now I'm going to give birth on the run or in prison where they'll take her away as soon as she's born. Who's going to take care of her? Both of her parents will be serving time."

"Come on, doll face. Don't think like that. We can fix all this." TIg looked a little panicked when I started to cry. "Hey, why don't you go lay down? You look tired."

"Yeah. I guess I should. I've just dozed off for a few minutes here and there." I admitted. I was too scared to sleep. At least with Tig there, he could keep a lookout while I slept. I rose to my feet and made my way down the hall. I chose to sleep in Mom's old room. Despite her rocky relationship with Grandma and Grandpa, her old room hadn't been changed much since she left at sixteen. I crawled into the bed and pulled the blanket up to my chin.

"Lexie, wake up." I rolled over with a groan, saddened that he wasn't really there. I missed Happy more than ever. "Baby, come on."

"Hap?" I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder to see him standing at the side of the bed, one knee resting on the mattress. I smiled brightly and threw my arms around his neck. He pressed his lips onto my cheek and held me close. "You're really here."

"I am. You're coming back to Charming, baby." I pulled back quickly, wondering if he had lost his mind. "Everything is okay. Jax made a deal but you can't say anything, especially not to your mom or Tara."

"Happy, they're my family. How can I not say anything?" I asked, torn between being relieved about going home and being stressed about keeping things from Mom and Tara. Happy shook his head and stood up.

"You can not say anything so the deal doesn't go to shit. You don't want to keep shit from them more than you want to have our kid outside of prison?" I wasn't expecting him to be so angry. I bit my bottom lip and searched his eyes for some hint of softness. It wasn't there. He was angry. He was angrier than I thought he would be.

"I'm sorry." I muttered. Happy shook his head and shoved his hands in his front pocket. "Please say something."

"What do you want me to say, baby? It's not okay and I can't forgive you yet, Lexie." I never knew words could hurt that much. I didn't blame him, I couldn't. "Come on, let's get home."

"Okay." I said. He frowned and kissed the top of my head once I was up on my feet. His words replayed in my head. He couldn't forgive me yet. Would he ever be able to? Would we be able to move past my stupid mistake? I hoped so, not just for our daughter but for my own selfish needs as well. I couldn't imagine a life without him anymore.

"Ride with Tig." Happy said, motioning towards the black van. I frowned, wishing I could still ride behind him on the bike. It wasn't safe for the baby though.

"Okay." I said again. Happy sighed and took me by my arm. Jax, Rat and Tig were getting ready to leave in the driveway as Happy led me back towards the rose garden.

"You think this changes something, Lexie?" Happy asked, turning to me and letting go of my arm. I didn't have time to answer before he continued. "You did some stupid shit and it had consequences but so did I. You were mad at me and I deserved it but here you are and I'm gonna be right here to. You're my reason for living, Alexis. I'm not giving that up."

"I love you, Happy." I said. He nodded and kissed my lips. The kiss was gentle but firm and he held me tight in his arms.

"Just let me be mad for a while. Nothing's gonna change." He let me go and put his hand at the small of my back, leading me back towards the driveway. I felt a little better but I still worried that I had lost his trust. When we got to the van, Tig was already in the driver's seat. "Tig, you hurt my girls and I'll kill you twice."

"They'll be safe and sound, Hap." Tig promised with a serious nod. Happy helped me into the van and closed the door before walking up to his bike. "Don't worry, Lexie. He'll get over it."

"I hope so." I said, resting my back on the seat. We started the drive back to Charming and I started thinking about what it had cost the club to get me off the hook. With someone like Stahl, the price wouldn't be cheap. I glanced over at Tig and wondered if he knew about the deal. He was the Sgt at Arms but I wasn't going to assume anything. I kept my mouth shut and watched the scenery go by as he followed Jax, Happy and Rat.

"Lohen was able to get you house arrest for going AWOL. Everything else is handled." Jax said, tapping the ash of his cigarette into the round, glass ashtray on his kitchen counter. Instead of going to the clubhouse when we got to Charming, Jax had led us to his house. Tara was called in for an emergency surgery, so after Tig and Rat left it was just my brother, my fiancé and me.

"So, when does this deal go down?" I asked, uncomfortable with how many moving pieces there were.

"Two weeks." Happy said. My heart leapt up in my chest. Two weeks and they would be gone? I wasn't ready. We weren't even close to moving into the new house. I had hoped, some way, that Happy would be the first to hold our little girl. My shoulders dropped as Happy pulled me into a hug. "We're going home, Jax."

"Lexie, you got a second?" Jax asked. Happy stiffened a little but headed outside, leaving Jax and I alone in the kitchen. "Whatever you need, you'll have help, aight? Mom and Tara will be here and so will Chibs and Opie. You got it? You're not alone."

"Thanks, Jax." I gave him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek before going outside. Happy had my car towed to Jax' house so I followed him back to our temporary home. He held the door open for me and then locked up and checked the rest of the doors. I walked to the bedroom and peeled my clothes off. I was more than ready for a shower.

"Can I join you?" Happy asked just as I was wetting my hair. I pulled the curtain back. "I can't stay mad at you. You're in my head."

"You can be mad if you want, Hap. I was stupid." I said, wiping water off of my face. He shook his head and ran his hand from my cheek to my chest. "I'm going to miss you."

"I don't want to go. I'm going to miss too much." He said. I kissed his chest and closed my eyes, wishing things could be different. I looked up into his eyes and nodded. "What?"

"I want to get married this weekend. I don't want to wait. I want to be your wife now." I said, searching his eyes for a response. I didn't have to wait long. He kissed me and carefully pushed me against the wall of the shower. The water was rolling down his back as he moved his mouth to my neck and then my breasts. My hands gripped his shoulders as he entered me. I could tell he wanted to do things differently, more like our normal routine but he was too afraid to hurt me or the baby.

"Your hair is soaking the pillow." Happy whispered, running his fingers up and down my side. I nodded and took his hand, bringing it to my stomach. Our little girl was kicking up a storm, only slowing when he stopped stroking my side. "She doesn't like being tickled?"

"No, she does. She kicks so much when you're around. She already loves you." I said, keeping my hand on top of his. I felt him smile against my shoulder before he gave it a soft kiss.

"You sure about this weekend? It won't be big." He asked as the kicking slowed down. I nodded and scooted back to be closer to him.

"I'm sure. I just want it to be family." I whispered. "We can do it at the clubhouse if you want. It would be easier that way."

"We'll figure something else out." He said with a yawn.

"Goodnight, baby." I brought his hand up and kissed his palm. He moved it back to my stomach and nuzzled his head against my neck.

"Goodnight, Lexie." The baby kicked and he chuckled. "Goodnight to you to, Princess. Daddy isn't leaving you out."


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you dolls for pointing out the Oops in the original posting of this chapter! Thank you to everyone for your continued support!**

Chapter 32

I walked out of the dressing room and looked at Mom and Tara with a scrunched nose. I was trying on dresses for the wedding, even though we were keeping it small and casual. I still wanted to wear something special for Happy, even though I wasn't looking for a bridal gown. Finding a dress was proving difficult thanks to my baby bump and growing boobs. Mom thought I should wear something fitting but Tara and I were thinking more flowing.

"You don't like it." Mom said as I turned around so they could see the rest of the dress. I shrugged, tired of trying on dress after dress. "Do you want to try looking tomorrow?"

"No, I don't have time tomorrow. I have, uh, something I need to do tomorrow." I was planning a surprise wedding gift for Happy and didn't want anyone to ruin the surprise. Mom nodded.

"Getting waxed?" She asked.

"What! No! Jesus, mother." I felt my cheeks go dark red as she laughed.

"Alexis, everybody knows you two have done it. I don't think you're the Virgin Mary." Mom teased. I rolled my eyes and walked back into the dressing room to try on a dress Tara had suggested. When I looked in the mirror, I was relieved to see that I wouldn't have to try on anymore dresses. This one was perfect. It was a floor length chiffon dress that reminded me of something Cleopatra would wear.

"I guess we're done looking." Mom said as I walked out to show them the dress. I felt my bottom lip start to quiver as I smiled and shook my head. Mom sighed and stood up. "Sweetie."

"I don't want him to go away, Mom." I would have liked to blame my breakdown on my hormones but the honest, truth was that I was just sad. My best friend, my partner was leaving. The few days we had left together seemed to be flying by. I didn't know how I was going to get through the years without him. Mom frowned and kissed my forehead as I sobbed.

"Lexie, I know it doesn't make it any easier but you're not alone. We're all in the same boat." Tara said, walking over. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, smearing mascara everywhere.

"At least you two aren't going to be on house arrest." I muttered, stepping out of Mom's arms.

"Well, Lohen at least got that pushed back until the boys left. That's good." Mom said, trying to be positive. I shrugged and walked back to the dressing room. I was just reaching for the zipper when there was a soft knock at the door. I cracked it open to see Tara.

"I wanted to get a second alone with you." She whispered, sliding into the dressing room. I nodded and turned my back to her. She got the hint and undid the zipper of the dress. "I'm pregnant."

"What? Congratulations." I said, turning and hugging her quickly. She laughed. "How far along are you?"

"Five weeks. We haven't told anyone else yet. I think we're going to wait until later next week. Maybe some good news will soften the bad?" Tara said. I heard the sadness in her voice and nodded. It was going to be hard for any news to lessen the blow of the guys going away. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the dress.

"It can't hurt." I ran my hand over my stomach and took a deep, shaky breath. "Do you have any plans this afternoon?"

"Nope." Tara said, hanging the dress up as I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt.

"I could use some help. I have this idea to surprise Happy but I don't want him finding out." I started. Tara nodded and gave me a smile.

"Anything you need." She said. I opened the door and we met up with Mom on our way to the front counter. I handed the dress to the woman and started digging in my bag for my debit card.

"I got it, sweetheart." Mom said, handing the woman cash. I opened my mouth to object. "Don't, Alexis. I didn't get to help with your first wedding much. At least let me help with this."

"Okay." I said with a defeated sigh. The woman behind the counter was obviously avoiding our conversation. I rolled my eyes and took dress bag. "My first husband died, judgmental bitch."

"And on that note." Tara said, ushering me toward the doors. I shot the woman the middle finger before she was out of sight. "How's Happy doing with your hormones?"

"He's fine. He said Tig whines more." I said, opening the passenger door to Mom's car. Mom and Tara both laughed. I checked my phone for any missed calls but there was just a message from Happy telling me he'd be a little late. For once I was relieved.

"So, what's the big secret?" Tara asked when we walked inside. Mom had to go deal with some stuff at the garage so we were able to speak openly. I motioned for her to follow me down the hall so I could hang the dress up and show her my plan. I stepped back out of the closet and handed her my camera. She twisted her mouth. "Pictures?"

"I wanted to do a boudoir shoot but I figured he would flip his shit if I had someone take pictures. I was going to just try and use the tripod but,"

"But you remembered I took two photography electives in college and Happy wouldn't care if I took the pictures." Tara finished my thoughts. I shrugged guiltily. She laughed. "Well, I suggest you fix your raccoon eyes from crying first."

"Thank you!" I gave her a hug, careful not to damage my camera. I was an amateur photographer at the best but the camera was fairly professional and expensive. I headed into the bathroom too redo my makeup while Tara listed off some ideas for the shoot.

"Is his other bike in the garage?" Tara asked as I lined my eyes.

"Yeah, he's waiting on a part but doesn't know if it will get here before he leaves. He's taking it to TM tomorrow." I said, moving on to my other eye.

"Is it torn apart?" She asked, sounding deep in thought. I shifted my eyes over to her. "What? There's nothing any of them likes more than their old ladies and their bikes."

"It's whole. I like how you think, Knowles." I laughed. I finished my makeup and headed to the closet to dig out the bag of things I had bought to wear for the pictures. The next few hours flew by. We were having so much fun it felt like nothing bad was coming. It felt like the good times again.

"Shit. Jax said he's about to leave." Tara said, checking her messages. "I better get out of here before your man gets here and I see even more of both of you."

"Oh hush." I said, tying my silk robe closed. She laughed and handed me the camera. "Thanks again, TK."

"My pleasure, Teller. It's the best time I've had in weeks." She said, picking her bag up. I nodded in agreement and then locked the front door behind her. Not five minutes later, I heard Happy's bike coming down the road. I bit my lip a little and moved to the bedroom to wait on him.

"Lexie?" Happy called. I untied my robe and leaned back, feeling awkward but hoping I looked sexy.

"In here, baby." I responded. I heard his boots coming down the hallway and started wondering if he was going to laugh. He appeared in the doorway and froze. I looked up at him with my heart in my throat. "Welcome home."

"Damn, Alexis." He said, taking a slow step towards the bed I was laying on. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and shook his head. "Fuck."

"That's the idea." I laughed. I was nervous and felt completely exposed in the bra, garter, thong and knee highs. They were all black and lacy, just like I knew he liked. He ran his hand over his mouth and shook his head.

"You're too fucking perfect for me, Alexis." He ran a hand up from my ankle to my thigh and then bit his bottom lip. I relaxed as soon as his skin touched mine. I knew this was where I was supposed to be, no matter what shit came our way. We belonged together, as cliché as that sounded, even in my head. He kicked his boots off and joined me on the bed for the rest of the night.

"Hap?" I woke up with a growling stomach. I looked at the clock and groaned. I hadn't intended on sleeping in that long. It was the big day. We were getting married on Oswald's farm at sunset and I still had a lot to do. I pulled on my robe and headed down the hallway in search of Happy.

"There's my daughter-in-law." I quickly pulled the robe closed and blushed deeply. Happy turned from the stove and I could see an amused smirk on his face.

"Mariah, I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you until this afternoon." I said, leaning down and giving her a quick hug. She chuckled and patted me on the back.

"Alex and I planned to surprise you two." It took me a minute to even remember Tig's real name. I looked around the kitchen quickly, hoping he wasn't going to see me in my robe. Mariah laughed. "He's not here, sweetheart."

"I'm going to go put something on all the same." I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. I walked over to Happy and looked around him to see pancakes on the griddle. "These pancakes better be good enough to get you out of trouble. You could have told me she was here."

"Uh-huh." He obviously wasn't too worried about my empty threat. It was a hard day for me to find something to be mad at him for. I hurried down the hall and pulled on sweatpants and a tank top.

"Oh, what a cute belly." Mariah said with a delighted smile. I smiled and ran my hand over my stomach. "May I?"

"Of course." I said, stepping over to her so she wouldn't have to get up. She gently placed her palm on my stomach and I saw her eyes light up.

"I never thought I would live to see my boy settle down and give me a grandbaby. You're a real angel, Alexis." Mariah said. Happy set the plate of pancakes on the table and kissed my cheek. "I can die a happy woman."

"You ain't going anywhere, Ma." Happy grumbled as he sat down an the end of the table. Mariah removed her hand from my stomach and snapped at her son. He shook his head and rose to his feet. I smirked as he pulled my chair out for me. "Happy, Ma?"

"I would be happier if you didn't have to be taught manners like a child." She said. Happy rolled his eyes and sat back down. We enjoyed breakfast together before Tara picked me up to get my hair done. Happy was showing ultrasound pictures to Mariah when I left. I loved to see how proud and excited he was for our daughter.

"Do you need me to do anything?" Tara asked. We were getting back in her car and headed to her and Jax's house so I could get ready. Happy was taking my car to Oswald's so Mariah could ride with him. I almost had a giggle fit at the thought of her riding on the back of his Harley.

"No. I think everything is pretty much taken care of. You've already done so much." I said, smiling over at her. An hour later, we were getting back into her car. I looked back at Abel who was fussing with the little bow-tie Tara had put on him. "Aww, you're okay, buddy."

"I hope he doesn't fuss. I tried to make sure he got a good nap." Tara said, looking back at him in the rearview. I shook my head.

"He's my nephew. He can fuss if he wants to." I said, giving him a wink. He giggled like he always did when I winked at him. Jax met us in the driveway and gave Tara a hand out of the car. I smiled and watched them interact for a minute, overjoyed that they had worked through their problems. I didn't have any doubt that they would make it through this time apart. I could easily say the same for Happy and I.

"Are you ready?" Mom asked as she gave me a hand out of the car. I smiled brightly and nodded.

"One hundred percent." I said, excited to marry my best friend. I was some how lucky enough to have two wonderful men come into my life. Even though I only shared a few years with Hank, they were some of the best of my life. I knew that the years I would have with Happy and our daughter would be just as great. I couldn't be luckier.

"You look beautiful." Happy said as I met him at the end of the makeshift aisle. There were about fifty chairs full of our family and close friends set up in the garden-like area of Oswald's farm. It was beautiful. It was simple. It was everything I wanted our wedding to be. It wasn't about elegant flowers or a five piece band. It was about celebrating our life together with the people that mattered the most.

"Thank you." I whispered as the pastor started his speech. I barely noticed the crowd of people watching us or even the pastor as he talked about marriage and God. All I could see was Happy. I was smiling so much my cheeks started to ache.

"The couple have decided to write their own vows." The pastor said, breaking my concentration on the warm brown of Happy's eyes. I smiled and took a deep breath.

"I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything. And when we're together, my past seems worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might not be here with you now. My promise to you is simple, I choose you. And I'll choose you over and over again, without a doubt, without a pause, in a heartbeat I'll keep choosing you. Through thick and thin. Through anything life throws our way. I will always love and choose you." I couldn't stop the happy tears that had started running down my cheeks as I made my promise to him. I could see his own eyes glistening as he smiled. He pulled a folded piece of paper from his kutte and looked up at me.

"I promise to take care of you when you're too busy taking care of everyone else. I promise to be patient. I promise to be strong for you when you're to tired to be strong for yourself. I promise to love you more than the day before for the rest of our lives. I promise to be a husband you deserve and a father our daughter needs. You will always have a partner in me, a best friend." There was a whistle in the crowd when Happy paused. He smirked and shook his head. "I promise to treat you even better than my leather and ride you more than my Harley."

I ignored the pastor starting to say something. I grabbed Happy by the front of his kutte and pulled him to me. Our lips crashed together and everyone cheered and clapped loudly. The pastor even chuckled and pronounced us man and wife while the kiss deepened. It was official in the eyes of the state and maybe even god in that moment but for us, it had always been real.

"Let's get this party over so I can take you home." Happy whispered into my ear. I felt all the hairs on my arms stand up with excitement. We walked down the aisle towards the reception area under a large white tent hand in hand. I was happy, one hundred percent, undeniably happy.


	33. Chapter 33

**Okay, this is the end of part one. I'm going to be updating under this same Title but chapter 34 will be a type of "intermission" there will be some glimpses of life during the 14 months that the guys are inside and then chapter 35 will be the beginning of part two that will pick up when the guys get out. I hope you all enjoy and continue reading!**

Chapter 33

We celebrated with our family and friends for a couple hours before going home. The party was great. Jax and Tara danced, even though he hates dancing and Mom and Clay actually seemed to be having a good time. Tig and Kozik took turns dancing with Mariah while Happy kept me all to himself. I was shocked when he actually danced with me. My cheeks were sore from smiling so much. When we got "home", I made him sit on the couch while I went to get the photos I'd made for him. I had put them in a black, leather-bound album with my new initials on the bottom right corner of the cover.

"I wanted to make you something special." I said, handing him the album as I took a seat beside him on the couch. He glanced over at me before slowly opening the album. He ran his fingers over the first picture. It was a candid that I didn't even know Tara had taken before I started going through the shots on the computer. We had taken a break and I had put on Happy's hooded sweatshirt so I wasn't just lounging around in my underwear. In the picture, I was turned sideways and looking into the mirror with my hand on my stomach. It was my favorite picture by far.

"Lexie." He said softly, putting his hand on top of mine. I smiled and urged him to keep looking. I noticed that he took more time looking at the lighthearted pictures and candids than the sexy, posed shots. "You're perfect, Alexis."

"Hardly but I'm glad you like it." I said, kissing his cheek. He closed the album and put it on the coffee table. I noticed his shoulders drop before he sat back up. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm leaving my wife and daughter in a week." He said with a sigh. I had tried not to think about it for the past few days but of course it was always in the back of my mind. "Neither one of you deserve that shit."

"Happy, we're going to be here for you. When she's old enough we'll come and visit you and I'll write and call and send pictures. She won't not know you, Happy. I promise you. She'll know you as the type of man I know you to be. We'll get through this together." I said, running my hand over his back. He pulled me onto his lap and caught my lips with his.

"Since when are you the strong one?" He asked. I laughed and gave him a quick kiss.

"I'm a tough ass old lady, Hap." I gave him a wink and smiled as he laughed. "Now are we going to keep being doom and gloom or are you going to take your new wife to bed?"

Happy didn't answer before wrapping an arm beneath my legs and an arm around my back. I held on, knowing he was about to stand up and carry me down the hallway. Neither of us brought up our conversation on the couch again that night. We just took our time and celebrated.

The days following our wedding seemed to fly by. The club was busy tying up loose ends before they went inside and I had a feeling they were planning something, even though neither Happy or Jax would admit to it. Any outsider could see the changes in everyone's demeanor as their last day on the outside drew closer. I was crying at any mention of their departure, Happy was irritable with everyone but me and Mom was busying herself with trying to help everyone, even when they didn't ask for or need her help. Eventually, the day that we had been dreading came.

"Come on, Lexie. There's breakfast out there." Happy said, running his hand over my hip. Everyone had stayed at the clubhouse the night before. Clay said it would be easier for goodbyes. I didn't buy that for an instance. It was tactical.

"Okay." I muttered. In my head I was protesting like a child. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't hungry, that I didn't want to get out of bed. I was depressed. Instead of saying all of that though, I swallowed my own feelings down and got out of bed for him. Letting him know just how much I was hurting wouldn't help anyone. After breakfast, the guys went into the chapel for a few minutes. I didn't think anything of it. It was their last time around the table as a club for a while. It wasn't until they came out wearing or carrying Kevlar vests that I realized I had been right. Something was going down. Something big and obviously dangerous. I grabbed Happy by the arm and narrowed my eyes at him.

"No. Don't you dare walk out of those doors. You've never felt the need to wear a vest before. Don't you walk into something that could take you from us. Happy, don't you dare." I said, angry tears springing from my eyes.

"Alexis, calm down. You're not supposed to get upset." He said. I shoved him away and shook my head. "Baby, just trust me, okay?"

"You knew something was happening. You knew and didn't tell me how bad it was, Happy." I said, stepping back as he reached for me. He frowned and I watched his adam's apple move up and down as he swallowed his own feelings down.

"Let's go!" Clay announced loudly. Everyone started filing out of the clubhouse and onto the parking lot. I followed them outside, despite how angry I was. Tara and Jax were talking over by her car. She didn't seem upset and when Jax handed her a vest, I felt my blood start to boil. Did everyone know what was going on besides me. She met my gaze and frowned as I shook my head. I felt so betrayed.

"Lowman." I snapped just as Happy sat on his bike. He looked up as I stormed over to him. "You get your ass back here in one piece and don't add a single day to your time."

"Yes ma'am." He said, reaching into the inside pocket of his kutte. He handed me a letter and searched my eyes. "I love you, Alexis. Don't read that until after they pick us up, alright?"

"Fine." I snapped before taking a deep, shaky breath. I leaned down and kissed him, unsure if I was going to get another chance that day. "I love you, Happy."

I stepped back alongside my mother and watched as the club rolled out, followed by Tara. Mom put her arm around me as I started crying again. I felt light headed and knew Happy was right. I wasn't supposed to be getting upset but damn if I couldn't help it. I looked over at Mom and thought about asking her if she had known what was going to happen. I then thought better of it. I needed to have at least one person left on the outside.

"I don't feel great. I'm going to go lay down." I said, rubbing my stomach that was starting to bother me. Mom walked me inside and got me settled in on the bed Happy and I had shared. Instead of leaving to oversee the clean up from breakfast like I thought she would, she pulled up the desk chair and sat beside me.

"You'll be okay, sweetheart." Mom said feeling my forehead with the back of her hand like she had done when I was a little girl. "Close your eyes, Lexie. I'll wake you up in time to say goodbye."

"Okay." I said, rolling over onto my side. I pulled Happy's pillow to my chest, hoping the smell of his cologne and body washed calmed me down. I couldn't sleep. The first time I started to doze off, I hear gunfire and sat straight up. Mom was still by my side, telling me everything was okay. When I tried to sleep again, I smelled the all too familiar, metallic scent of blood. Again, Mom was still sitting in the chair beside me.

"Do you want some tea?" She asked, knowing there was no going back to sleep for me. I nodded and rolled over onto my back. I had stared at that same ceiling the night before, barely able to fall asleep then. I wondered when the next time Happy and I would share a bed would be. I was worried that whatever crazy plan they were executing would add to their time. Mom came back with Tea but I couldn't stomach it. I just held it in my hands, letting it warm my ice cold fingers. I heard motorcycles in the distance and climbed out of the bed. I didn't feel much better but I needed to see Happy.

"Hey baby." He said, pulling me into his arms. I took a deep breath, taking in the cologne and leather smell. He led me inside with everyone else. "I never wanted to lie to you, Lexie. I just needed you safe. The less you knew the better."

"I don't want to talk about it, Hap. I love you." I said, tucking myself into his arms. He held me close and rested his chin on top of my head. "Please tell me you'll be careful, Happy. Tell me that you'll come back to us."

"I promise, Alexis. You two are the ones that are going to keep me sane in there, baby." He whispered. Chibs stood up from the bar and both of us looked over. I saw the police cars rolling on the lot and felt my heart all but shatter. "I love you, Alexis. It'll be okay."

Agent Stahl and her muscle made everyone that wasn't getting hauled in lie flat on the ground. When I refused, she walked up to me with a cocky smile. Happy jerked back from the officer that was cuffing him.

"Leave her alone." He barked.

"How does it feel, Alexis? Your brother is a rat?" I blinked, looking from her to Jax. This was it, the deal that they'd been talking about. I wasn't supposed to know. I scowled and looked back at Stahl. "Thanks to your big brother turning on the Irish, your baby daddy will be out before your kid is out of diapers."

"You son of a bitch." Clay yelled, lunging at Jax. Jax pulled off the act of a betrayed man pretty well. He avoided looking at the club and snapped at Stahl as she handed a folder over to Lohen. I didn't have to act much. I was still crying from having to say goodbye. Happy and I made eye contact one more time before he entered the transport van.

It wasn't until later that night when I was lying in our bed alone that I remembered the letter he had given me.

Alexis,

I wanted to tell you everything before we left. I'm sorry. The deal was bigger than we told you. I'll be out in fourteen months, as long as everything goes alright today. I know it's not the same as being there when our daughter is born but it's something. I love you, Alexis Teller Lowman. I love our daughter as well. Let her know that. One more thing, I like the name Addison. I heard you muttering it in your sleep a couple nights ago when she was kicking.

-Happy.


	34. Chapter 34

Two Months Later

"Lexie, please open the door." I heard Tara call through the door. I had been limiting any kind of contact with her since the day the guys went to Stockton. I felt betrayed. She was like a sister to me. She should have told me there was a plan. She didn't though, she went right along with the rest of them and kept it from me. Tara wasn't the only one I was mad though. She wasn't the only one that kept me in the dark. Jax had tried to call me a couple time but as soon as I found out it wasn't Happy on the phone, I hung up. Happy himself wasn't completely out of the dog house for his part in it but considering I was carrying his child and sharing his last name, I couldn't exactly ignore his calls or letters.

"What?" I said, opening the door. She was just starting to get a baby bump where my stomach looked like it was ready to burst. I had been on bed rest for the past month.

"How long are you going to stay mad at me?" Tara asked with a sigh. "I didn't know about the deal they made with Stahl, Lexie."

"I would rather you have lied about that, Tara. My husband and brother went off in ballistics vests hours before they were supposed to go to prison. You didn't think I might want to at least know something was going down? You're just as bad as they are." I snapped. She frowned and I could see how my words had hurt her. "Do you want to come inside? It's chilly out here."

"Sure, thanks." She said hesitantly. I stepped back to let her in. Once she was inside, I locked the door and rubbed my back. It had started aching over the past few days. "I like your house."

"Me to. It seems a little big right now though." I said with a shrug. Opie, Chibs and Rat had moved me into the new house a week after Happy left. As I was officially on house arrest, I had been spending all my time unpacking little by little. I couldn't do too much without getting tired. I settled back down onto the couch where I had been sitting before Tara came over. I rubbed my stomach and took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

"How are you doing?" Tara asked. I raised my brow, wondering if she was talking about with Happy being gone or with the pregnancy. I decided to go with the general answer of fine. "I really am sorry, Lexie."

"It's fine. Just remember that us girls have to stick together next time." I said. I grimaced as my stomach contracted.

"How long have you been having contractions?" Tara said, switching into doctor mode. It passed and I let out a huff.

"Um, I've been having one or two an hour for a couple days. I don't think she's going to hang around in there for another two months but I'm trying to keep her in as long as possible." I said. Tara frowned again.

"Are you on bed rest or modified bed rest?" She asked. I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes. "Alexis. Bed rest means bed rest, not unpacking and doing stuff on your own. Why didn't you say anything to me or Gemma?"

"I can handle it, Tara. You aren't the only one with a medical license." I snapped before thinking. I sighed. "Sorry, I'm just tired and my hormones are all over the place. I want to have everything done before she gets here."

"Then let me help. What do you need done?" She asked. I pushed myself up to my feet, earning a scowl from Tara. I waved for her to follow me as I walked down the hall. "Alexis! You've been working on this alone?"

"Happy's not here." I said, bursting into tears. I had been trying to put together the crib that had been delivered but it was slow going. I sighed and tried wiping my tears away, they just kept coming. Tara shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, sweetheart. Come on. You're going to bed and I'm going to take care of this, okay? Gemma has Abel until six so don't try to use your nephew as an excuse to tell me no." I took a deep breath and started crying harder.

"I've been so mean to you though. I'm sorry Tara. I just miss him. I can't do any of this without him." I sobbed. She pulled me into a hug and held me until my crying slowed.

"You're my family, Lexie. You don't have to apologize. I miss Jax to. We can do this though, we don't have any other choice." She said with a sad shrug. I nodded and let her lead me into the master-bedroom. "Get some sleep, okay? I've got this."

*******Be Together*******

March 15

"Lexie, breath okay? Breath." Mom said, holding my hand as another contraction passed. I glared and her and tried to do some of the breathing exercises I'd learned in class. I had been in labor for ten hours. The breathing exercises weren't doing shit. It hurt like hell. I heard my cellphone ring and reached my free hand out towards Tara who was standing closest to my bag. She moved quickly and gave me my phone.

"Happy?" I was hoping and praying it was him. Every inch of my body was in pain and I just wanted to hear his voice.

"Yeah, it's me Lexie." I started to cry. I needed him with me. "Come on, baby. Don't cry. You're too strong for that."

"No I'm not! I hurt everywhere and I just want you! I can't do this." I sobbed. I couldn't be strong anymore. I was out of energy.

"Alexis, listen to me. You're the strongest person I know, okay? I know you hurt and I wish I could fix that, baby." I heard his voice crack as my body contracted again. "You're doing great, Lexie."

"No I'm not." I said, sweat beading up on my brow. I clenched my jaws together to keep from screaming. Dr. Lee walked in and shook her head. I was trying to hold off on a c-section. I knew a natural birth was off the table now. "I have to go. They're taking me back."

"I love you, Alexis." There was a loud bang on his end of the line. He must have hit or kicked something. "I fucking love you, baby. Let me talk to Tara."

"I love you Hap. Here she is." I handed the phone to Tara as the nurses started prepping me to move to surgery. I wasn't happy but if it was better for the baby, then I'd do whatever it took. Tara followed along behind me as they wheeled my bed down the hall.

"I got it, Happy. Just have Jax wait a couple hours before he calls me." Tara said. I glanced back at her and she gave me a reassuring grin. An hour later, I was holding our little girl. Her head was full of dark brown hair and she had Happy's scowl. She had my eyes and nose though. She was perfect, fussy and loud but perfect all the same.

"What name did you decide on?" Mom asked as she carefully took my daughter into her arms for the first time.

"Addison Marie Lowman." I said, feeling drowsy but elated. I was so happy to finally meet her. She was everything we could have ever hoped for. She was healthy and safe. Tara handed me my cellphone with a smile. "Hello?"

"Hey, little sister. Heard I have a niece now." It was Jax. I smiled and looked up at the bundle of pink Mom was holding.

"You do. Mom is holding her." I said. Jax asked how she looked and how I was feeling before I gave the phone to Tara so they could talk. I was exhausted. Mom put Addison back into her little crib by my bed and shoo'd everyone out of the room so I could get some sleep. I went to sleep, only wishing Happy had been there to make the day perfect.

****Be Together****

June 15 (Happy's POV)

"Lowman! You've got visitation." The guard called. It was what I'd been waiting on all day. Three months. My little girl was three months old and I was finally getting to see and hold her. Lexie always sent me pictures since Addison was born but it wasn't the same. Today was the day though. Today I got to have both my girls with me, even if it was just for an hour.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile, bruh." My cell-mate said as I stood up from the table we'd been playing cards at. I ignored him and crossed the day-room to where the guard was waiting for me. It usually irritated me when they slapped on cuffs to walk me down a couple halls like I was some maniac. I didn't give a shit though. It was all going to be worth it.

"Lexie." I pulled her into my arms tightly and kissed the top of her head. Her hair still smelled like coconuts. I looked over towards the table and saw a gray and pink car seat. Lexie pulled back and looked up at me with a smile.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" She asked with a little laugh that I loved hearing. I nodded, suddenly a little nervous about doing the wrong thing and hurting her. I followed Lexie around the table and finally saw my daughter for the first time. She was wide awake with those wide, blue eyes that she'd gotten from her mother. She was beautiful. Lexie unbuckled the straps and picked Addison up.

"Hey, baby girl." I whispered. She looked over at me and blinked a couple times. She was perfect.

"Here, she's not made of glass, Hap." Alexis said, trying to hand me the baby. I swallowed hard and took her into my arms, trying to mimic the way Alexis had been holding her. "Addison, this is your daddy."

"She's so small. Is she okay? I mean, are babies normally this small at her age?" I asked quickly. I didn't want to step on Alexis' toes. I knew she was a great mother and she would know if something was wrong. She chuckled and nodded.

"She's fine, baby. She's well within normal ranges." She said, straightening one of Addison's socks. Everything was so tiny. "She must know who you are. She normally doesn't like when men hold her."

"Who's been holding her?" I asked, tensing up. Addison must have noticed because she started wiggling and whining. I took a deep breath and relaxed a little.

"Your brothers, that's it. Opie, Chibs and Kozik. She threw up on Kozik though so I don't think he'll hold her again." She was smiling and laughing. I missed that, seeing her smiling face every day. Addison took hold of my finger and I felt a smile creeping up.

"Daddy is better than all those stinky uncles, huh?" I whispered to Addison. Lexie rolled her eyes and I sat down next to her. "You look good, Lexie. Your boobs are huge."

"That's your daughter's fault." She laughed. "Tara has really helped me with everything. The nursery was done a month before Addy was born."

"Good. Everything else going good?" I asked. She'd just been released from house arrest at the beginning of the month since her sentence got cut short. It was just another benefit of having taken care of Stahl the day we left. "I've missed the hell out of you, girl."

"Ditto, baby." She said with a sad smile. I could tell my time was hard on her but it seemed like there was something else. "I lost my job."

"What? Why?" I knew she loved her job. Hell, she loved it before she ever left for school. It was nice having two incomes but it wasn't really necessary and I liked her having more time for Addison. She sighed and shook her head.

"They heard about the charges. Even though everything was dropped they found me to be a liability to the hospital. They said I'm lucky I don't have my medical license pulled." I could see the tears in her eyes, even though she refused to cry. I squeezed her thigh and she tried to smile for me.

"We'll be alright, baby. There's more hospitals around if you want to find another job. You don't have to though. Whatever makes you happy." I said, trying to be supportive. I didn't want her to work.

"Thanks, Happy. You're a pretty good husband after all." She teased. I rolled my eyes and playfully slapped her thigh. Addison pushed her lips together and blew air out, making a silly noise. Alexis laughed and shook her head. "Chibs taught her to do that. It's his fault."

"It's cute." I said, smiling down at my little girl that hadn't let go of my finger. I glanced up at the clock and sighed. Time was going by too damn fast. "I love you, Alexis. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You couldn't be, Happy. There's a difference." She gave my leg a squeeze and I wished she could take her right there on the table.

"Time." The visitation officer announced. I groaned and stood up, carefully handing Addison back to Lexie. She started whimpering and crying as soon as she was in the carrier.

"I'll see you next week, Hap." Lexie said, hugging me tightly. I hated letting her go. It felt like somebody was ripping my heart out of my chest. Addison was full on screaming, crying when I told her goodbye.

"Sweet family." The officer said with a small smile. She couldn't have been more than twenty. She seemed too damn innocent to be working in a prison. Normally I would have snapped at anyone other than my brothers talking about my family. I must have been in too good of a mood though.

"Thanks." I said, putting my wrists behind my back so she could cuff me.

Next chapter will be the beginning of part two. We'll be reuniting everyone and getting more AU. Hope you enjoyed part one and the "intermission"


	35. Chapter 35

Part II

"Look, baby. Who is that?" I bounced Addy up and down on my hip as Happy walked over to us. It was their homecoming. After fourteen long months, he was home. She reached out and kept saying 'Dada"

"Come here." Happy said, taking Addy into his arms. I smiled as he wrapped an arm around me. "I've missed the hell out of y'all."

"Same here, baby." I said, standing on my toes to give him a kiss. He deepened the kiss and moved his hand down to my ass as Addy grabbed a handful of my hair. Happy pulled back with a chuckle as he coaxed our daughter to let go of my hair. "Thanks, Addy."

"I've got to get in there for church but it won't take long. You waiting here or going home?" Happy asked. Jax came over with Thomas and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll hang out here. Addison needs a play date with Thomas so she sleeps tonight." I said, scrunching my nose at her. Addison giggled and reached out for me. "Glad you're home, Jax."

"Yeah, yeah." He said with a grin. Happy passed Addison back over to me as Tara took Thomas from Jax. "Tell your baby not to try and beat my baby up again."

"She gets it from her father." I said. Addison played rough. The last time I had watched Thomas while Tara was at work, Addison had blackened his eye. They were too young to understand what had happened but as soon as Thomas started crying, Addison started crying. He still had a faint bruise from it. "It's okay, he'll be right back."

"Do you want me to take her in there?" Happy asked. Addison had started whining as soon as he turned away. Unfortunately, I was used to her crying when we had to leave visitation. I shook my head. "You sure? I don't want her to be upset."

"Happy, she's fine. Go so we can get home." I said, giving him a little push. Chibs made a silly face at Addison as he walked by and she stopped whining for a minute. Happy sighed and walked into the clubhouse. I shook my head at our daughter. "You've already got him wrapped around your finger, don't you?"

"Lexie, are you sure you don't want me to keep the princess?" Mom asked as Addy and Thomas played in the little sandbox by the swing set. I shook my head.

"No, Mom. It's Happy's first night home. I don't think he'd want her anywhere but home tonight." I said, taking the plastic shovel that Addison was swinging around like a sword.

"Tommy, don't eat the sand." Tara said, walking over to him. Addison must have seen what he was doing because she grabbed up a handful of sand and stuck her tongue on it. She threw the rest of the sand down and looked up at me with a disgusted face. I laughed and picked her up.

"I guess you won't do that again, huh?" I asked, wiping her tongue off with my finger. She hid her face against my neck as I held her.

"Let's go, woman!" I heard Happy call from the clubhouse. I narrowed my eyes at him and didn't move an inch. "Please."

"That's only slightly better." I said, meeting him by his bike. He nodded and gave me a kiss before Addison turned around to look at him.

"Tell Mommy to hush and get in the car." Happy said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She giggled and started bouncing up and down. "Let's get home, baby."

"Just waiting on you." I turned and walked to the car as he started his bike. He beat me home by a good five minutes as I had to get Addison into the car seat. She was sound asleep by the time I pulled into the garage. I walked around the car to get her out, only to see Happy already opening the door. I stood by in case he needed any help and led him to her nursery. He stood in the middle of the room, looking around and taking it in. Tara had helped me paint the room a couple weeks after Addison was born. Instead of the boring white it used to be, it was now light gray and pink horizontal stripes. The furniture was black with silver pulls and there was a gray nursing chair in the corner.

"Do you like it?" I asked after he put Addison down and looked around the room again. I watched his shoulders drop and frowned.

"The room's good, baby. I just don't like that I missed out on everything." He said, tucking some hair behind my ear. I shook my head and took his hand, leading him out of the nursery. We walked across the hall and into the bedroom. He gently closed the door behind him before looking around the room. The king sized bed was in the middle of the room with only two night stands on either side of it and a bench at the end. We were lucky enough to have his and her's closets so I could keep the dressers out of the bedroom. "This I like, a lot."

"Good." I said pushing his kutte down his arms. I could feel his eyes on me as I hung it on the front of his closet door where I'd put a hook just for his kutte. "Hopefully you still like this."

"Oh I do." He growled as I started unbuttoning my top. He grabbed my wrists and I stopped. I felt like a teenager again. My heart was racing and I felt a little lightheaded. His lips met mine and I felt every hair on my arms stand on end. He kissed my neck."I missed this."

"And this?" I asked, gently running my nails over his scalp. He nodded and kissed my chest. I moaned and felt myself getting wound up. He picked up where I had left off with unbuttoning my shirt. His hands on my bare skin made me feel like the woman I hadn't felt like in over a year. For just over a year I had been a mother. All of my time and energy had been dedicated to our daughter. Now that Happy was home, I finally felt like more than just a mother again.

"You're perfect, Alexis." Happy said as I climbed back into bed beside him. It was amazing to be with him again. I felt my cheeks turn pink and he kissed my forehead. "We're going to the zoo tomorrow."

"The zoo?" I asked with a little laugh. He nodded and ran his hand over my side.

"Yeah, has Addison been there yet?" That explained it. He wanted to take her to the zoo for the first time. I smiled and shook my head. It was wonderful to see how involved he wanted to be with Addison. "Good, we'll go tomorrow."

"She'll like that. She loves animals." I said, rolling over and putting my back against his chest. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. Addison woke up and started crying around two in the morning. It wasn't unusual but I was more tired than usual. Happy kissed my shoulder and got out of bed. "Happy, I can get her."

"You've been doing that for a year. I got it, Lexie." He was already walking out of the bedroom before I could argue. I put my head back down on the pillow and reminded myself that I didn't have to parent alone anymore. After a couple minutes, I heard him softly singing on the baby monitor. He was singing Sweet Child of Mine by Guns & Roses and it almost had me in tears. I smiled and turned the monitor down a little so he wouldn't hear it and stop singing. When the song was over, I heard him tell her goodnight.

"I love you, Happy. I'm so glad you're home." I whispered when he got back into bed. He kissed my shoulder and pulled me close again.

"There's no where else I'd rather be, Lexie." He said. I smiled and thought that nothing could go wrong. We were a family again.

A few hours later, I woke up to an empty bed. I groaned and pulled on my robe before going across the hall to get Addison. She wasn't in her crib. For a split second, my heart started to race. I was too drowsy to even consider that Happy had gotten her when he woke up. It wasn't until I heard him talking in the kitchen that I realized how silly my panic had been. I took a deep breath and walked down the hall.

"Morning, baby." Happy said. He was sipping on a cup of coffee and there was a stack of pancakes on the table. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before pouring my own cup of coffee. "Can she have pancakes yet?"

"Yeah, as long as they aren't hot and you cut or tear them up for her." I said with a smile. "No syrup for her though."

"Why? She get hyped up like you?" He asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and put a pancake on Addison's plate. She started reaching for it before I could even get the first piece torn off. Happy tapped her nose with his finger and she giggled. I put her plate on the high-chair tray and watched her grab pieces with both hands before I sat down to eat as well. Happy watched her for a little longer. He was just watching and smiling.

"Happy, she's not going anywhere. You can eat." I said with a little laugh. He nodded and took the seat at the head of the table, just to the left of me. "Thank you for cooking and getting her up."

"Yep." He said, pouring syrup on his pancakes. We fell into a comfortable silence and had breakfast like a normal family. It seemed so natural, like he hadn't missed a day with us. Addison behaved besides banging her fist on the tray when she was out of food. "She need more?"

"No, she just wants out of the chair. I'll go get her cleaned up if you want to pack the car." I offered.

"What all do I need to pack?" He asked. I paused and decided it would just be easier if I packed the car. "Lexie, I'll do it just tell me what to get."

I listed off what we would need as he followed me into the hall bathroom to clean Addison up. He nodded a few times as I named items and then disappeared. Addison took the first baby wipe out of my hand and started waving it around. She was such a silly, happy baby. I didn't run into any trouble cleaning her hands but when I went to wipe her mouth off, she tossed her head around like some wild animal.

"No. No. No. No, Mama." Addy yelled. I rolled my eyes and put my hands on my hips. She huffed and copied me.

"She's definitely your daughter." Happy laughed from the doorway. Addy squealed and reached out for him like she hadn't seen him in days instead of minutes. I handed him the baby wipe on my way out of the bathroom.

"Here, smart ass. You clean her face." I said. He laughed and carried her down towards the living room as I went to get dressed. I heard her saying 'no' again and couldn't resist smiling. She was nothing if not hard headed. I pulled on a black and white, chevron maxi dress and some black sandals before joining them in the living room.

"Zooooo!" Addy said, bouncing up and down. Happy grinned and kissed her cheek. She was a fast learner and repeated almost everything she heard. It was both a blessing and a curse. I scooped Addison up and blew a raspberry on her cheek as we walked outside.

Happy mostly carried Addison on his shoulders as we walked around the San Francisco Zoo. She was a little nervous about the monkeys but she loved the big cats and the wolves. We doubled back at saw the wolves for a second time after she kept saying 'puppy,puppy,puppy'. By the time we got back to the car, she was sound asleep. I got her into the car seat as Happy put the diaper bag in the trunk.

"I think she loved the zoo." I said, taking his hand after we got back onto the highway. He looked in the rearview mirror at our sleeping daughter and nodded.

"What do you think about getting her a puppy?" I pursed my lips and shook my head. He glanced over at me and shrugged. "What? You like dogs. We can get a guard dog or something so it can be there with y'all when I'm on the road."

"What about when she wants a pony?" I asked sarcastically. He narrowed his eyes at me and I laughed. "Hap, I'm serious. She's not old enough for a puppy and she can't have everything she wants."

"Why not? If we're able to give her what she wants, why shouldn't she have it, Lexie? You didn't have to want for much growing up." He said. I didn't want to argue with him, not on his first full day back. He was being ridiculous though.

"I didn't want for much? You're kidding me, right? Happy I'm not saying she can't have things but she doesn't need to be spoiled. She's too young for a puppy." I said, hoping he'd at least agree with that. He shook his head but didn't say anything. I could tell he was annoyed so I didn't push it. I leaned back against the seat and looked out of the window. When we got back home, he still wasn't very talkative, even less talkative than normal for him.

"Are you going to stay mad at me, Hap?" I asked, sitting down beside him on the couch as Addison played on her play mat. He sighed and pulled my legs over his lap.

"I'm not mad. I just don't agree with you. She's my kid to, Alexis." For someone that wasn't mad, he sure sounded annoyed.

"I know she's your kid, Happy. She has been since the day we found out I was pregnant. Baby, if we get a puppy I'm going to have to keep up with it and her all the time. I get where you're coming from with it being here when you aren't but that just means I would have to take care of it then to. Can we just hold off for a year or two? Until Addison can actually understand and help take care of a puppy?" It was hard enough keeping up with a one year old.

"Sure, if that's what you want." He still sounded bitter.

"Hap, come on. We're in this together, okay? It's not about what I want or what you want. We're supposed to make decisions together." I said, running my hand up his arm. He nodded silently. "Are you hungry?"

"I don't know, am I?" My shoulders dropped. I hated fighting with him and really didn't think we'd be fighting this soon after he got back. "I'm going to take a ride."

"Okay." I said, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. He kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye to Addison before grabbing his keys off the hook and walking into the garage. Addy started crawling towards the door he'd just walked out of. I sighed and scooped her up. "Come on, baby girl. You need dinner and a bath."

"Dada?" She whined, reaching towards the garage. I kissed her cheek and walked into the kitchen.

"He'll be back, baby." I said, bouncing her on my hip. She stuck out her bottom lip but didn't cry. She was probably too tired from the zoo. I made a sandwich for myself and gave Addison some baby food before giving her a bath and getting her in bed.

"Hey." I woke up to Happy's weight moving the bed and him whispering in my ear. I rolled over to face him and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Lexie. I just needed to clear my head. I've got to get used to this whole freedom and parenting thing."

"I get it." I muttered. I was hurt that he'd decided to leave instead of talk things out. "It's an adjustment for both of us, Hap."

"I know, baby." He got into the bed and rested his head on my chest. "I love you, Alexis Teller Lowman."

"Show me." I whispered into his ear. He smirked and moved over me. I smiled and leaned up, kissing his lips. He was mine for the rest of the night. We would figure everything else eventually.

Things can't always be rainbows and sunshine. Thank you for continuing into this second part with me! I hope you enjoy!


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